Quantcast
Channel: io9
Viewing all 36042 articles
Browse latest View live

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

$
0
0

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

It’s hard not to read Supergirl in the context of our ongoing culture war over what kind of heroes we’re allowed to value. And no, I’m not referring to gender issues (although Supergirl has plenty to say about them too) but the all-important grimdark-vs-fun schism in hero narratives.

Spoilers ahead...

Supergirl leans pretty hard on the quirky tone and the dorkiness of its hero. At times, this pilot comes across almost like, “What if Felicity Smoak from Arrow was a superhuman alien?” In a lot of ways, it’s sort of the tone of the Richard Donner Superman films, but also kind of the tone of classic superhero comics, from before Frank Miller and The Killing Joke and Watchmen and stuff. But Supergirl, thus far, seems more successful at capturing this kind of lightness on superhero TV than a lot of previous efforts, like Lois and Clark.

And part of what makes it work so well is that this show is willing to pack a pretty heavy punch—both in terms of actual violence and stakes, and in terms of emotion.

I’ve watched this pilot a few times over the past week, and have gotten more and more won over by its humor, its strong character development, and most of all its interesting spin on all the tropes about superheroes and the use of power. Most of all, this show has charmed the heck out of me—despite a few clunky touches that almost any TV pilot is likely to have.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

In a nutshell, Supergirl follows Superman’s cousin Kara Zor-El, who was also saved from the destruction of the planet Krypton. She was 13, and her parents wanted her to come to Earth and protect baby Kal-El. But her rocketship got stuck in the Phantom Zone, where time doesn’t pass, and she arrived on Earth when Superman was already an adult. So she was put with a host family, the Danverses, played by former Superman Dean Cain and former Supergirl Helen Slater.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

Since then, Kara has been trying to live a normal life and avoid using her powers—until her adoptive sister, Alex Danvers, is on a plane whose engines are blowing up. Kara—who’s already wondering if she’s been living up to her potential—is forced to use her powers, and reveals herself to the world. Supergirl starts being active as a superhero, and attracts the attention of two groups: 1) The DEO, humans who protect the world from extraterrestrial attacks (and who have Alex Danvers secretly working for them) and 2) Vartox, an escaped alien convict whom Supergirl’s mother condemned to alien prison—and he’s just the first of a gang of alien ex-cons with a beef for Supergirl.

The “reluctant hero” trope

At first glance, it looks like Supergirl is leaning pretty hard on the idea of the reluctant hero, who “just wants to live a normal life.” This is not my favorite heroic trope, although it was used to good effect in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and elsewhere. Early on, we’re told that once Kara realized that she didn’t need to protect Kal-El, she decided to hide herself away and just have a regular existence. Later, when she’s faced some setbacks, she tells her sister Alex that Alex is right: “The world doesn’t need me.”

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

But actually, Supergirl has a pretty unique spin on the “reluctant hero” thing. Basically, it’s all about the toxic, dysfunctional relationship between these two sisters. As Alex confesses towards the end of the episode, she was “the star” of her family, until Kara came to live with them. And then Alex couldn’t compete with an actual alien with amazing superpowers. So Alex was relieved when Kara decided to hide her specialness, because Kara making herself less made Alex “feel like more.”

And all this time, Alex has been telling Kara to be “something other than what I am,” as Kara puts it at one point. She’s been trying to keep Kara down and subtly undermining her confidence, trying to convince her that it’s enough to be “cute” and have a shitty job, and obsess over not having anything to wear on a date with a dickish guy from the internet.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

The scene where Kara is all excited about having saved a plane from crashing, and is freaking out with happiness—until Alex shows up and throws a wet blanket over her celebration—is actually pretty amazingly played. Melissa Benoist sometimes overplays Kara’s quirky mannerisms in this episode a wee bit, but the emotional turn from excitement to depression is pretty amazingly played. The bit where she’s like, “I’m tired. I just carried a plane on my back,” is pretty neat.

And meanwhile, Alex has been spying on Kara for the DEO and generally going behind her back with the alien-hunters.

And at last, Alex wins—she succeeds in crushing her sister’s spirits, after Kara has gotten her ass kicked by a supervillain. But then she has a crisis of conscience, and/or decides that her crew has no hope of defeating the alien menace, Vartox, without Supergirl’s help. So Alex brings Kara a Kryptonian recording of Kara’s mother, Alura, talking about her faith in Supergirl:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

And then in the end, when Supergirl goes for a rematch against Vartox, Alex helps her to win because they’ve analyzed Vartox’s weapon (from a fragment left inside Supergirl’s arm.) And she knows how to defeat him: use Supergirl’s heat vision up close to overheat Vartox’s super-axe so it explodes.

The “sibling rivalry” spin on this “hero who rejects heroism” idea is pretty original, and it’s paired with a huge sense of emotional vulnerability from Melissa Benoist. You get the sense that she’s so overjoyed at getting to help people and make a difference, and use her powers for good, that it’s actually kind of crushing to watch her get discouraged by Alex... and her probably evil boss, Hank Henshaw.

The result is a rise to heroism—and a relationship—that’s going to be pretty interesting to watch.

Hank Henshaw is a Dick

The dickery of Hank Henshaw is one of the things that’s actually kind of overplayed in this episode, and one hopes that it’ll be dialed back slightly in future installments. (Although given that Hank becomes the totally evil Cyborg Superman in the comics, I wouldn’t get your hopes up in the long term.)

Here’s Hank telling Kara that she did a great job nearly letting an alien nearly cut her in half, so they could get a sample of his weapon:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

She also tells Supergirl that she should just go back to getting coffee for someone. And that she’s just going to draw undue attention with her skirt. And he basically agrees with Alex’s insinuation that he underestimates Supergirl because she’s “just a girl.”

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

And he also tells Alex that she only got hired at the DEO because she was Supergirl’s foster-sister—but that Alex got to stay on her own merits. Aww.

The Supervillains

Here’s Vartox. He’s basically an evil trucker with a reptilian head:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

Vartox is not exactly a multidimensional villain, but he does provide a decent challenge for Supergirl. And one thing about this episode is that with all the good-natured dorktastic silliness, the fight scenes are actually super brutal:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

He escaped from Fort Rozz, the Kryptonian prison, which was knocked out of the Phantom Zone by the same mysterious incident that freed Kara from her imprisonment there. Fort Rozz crashed to Earth:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

And a whole bunch of alien criminals are on the loose, hiding out for the past 12 years. They all blame Supergirl’s mother, Alura, for their imprisonment. Here’s a handy collage of all of them that was on the DEO screen. One of them looks a bit like Despero, a major Justice League villain.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

At one point, Vartox goes to a secret lair inside his tanker truck, where he communicates with The Commander, played Faran Tahir (Captain Robau from Star Trek!)

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

The Commander mentions that “the General” is coming, and at the end of the episode, the General turns out to be a Kryptonian. Specifically, Kara’s Aunt Astra, who looks just like her mom. She says she was supposed to rule Krypton, and now she will rule Earth, so her niece has to die.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

There’s a whole goofy supporting cast

Meanwhile, the show packs a whole supporting cast of (semi) lovable normal people, most of whom know Supergirl’s secret by now.

There’s Winn Schott, who’s the office nerd, who has a terrible unrequited crush on Kara. And he writes for some kind of alien-conspiracy-theory website. He’s also kind of a superhero fan.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

She tells Winn that she’s the girl who saved the plane, the one everybody is freaking out about, and at first he thinks she’s trying to tell him she’s a lesbian.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

Winn tries to give Supergirl a makeover and puts her in a totally ridiculous outfit, because he doesn’t believe in capes:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

Kara’s boss is Cat Grant, who runs CatCo, the company that publishes the Tribune newspaper. She’s kind of a stereotypical Devil Wears Prada superbitch, but Calista Flockheart gets every ounce of fun she can squeeze out of her icy-cold lines.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

Cat Grant is the one who gives Supergirl her superhero name—leading to the show’s most overt grappling with gender politics apart from Hank Henshaw’s dickery. Kara rushes in to confront Cat about this and demand that they call the mystery hero “Superwoman” instead:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

At which point, Cat delivers a whole speech (that’s already become famous from the trailers months ago) about the meaning of being a “girl”—Cat is a girl, but she’s still a boss, and powerful, and in control, etc. etc. And then to prove that girls can still be totally evil, Cat decides to fire Kara for questioning her.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

Kara’s job is only saved by the intervention of the final member of our supporting cast, James “Jimmy” Olsen, the Daily Planet photographer who took pictures of Superman in Metropolis until recently. Now James has come to National City to take a new job—but actually, he knows all along that Kara is Superman’s cousin, and the Big Guy has asked James to keep an eye on Kara. (Who, meanwhile, has an insta-crush on James.) The wink that James gives Kara when he reveals he knows her secret is pretty amazing:

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

James’ role in this episode is to be the love interest, and to give encouragement to Kara—covertly at first, like when he says in her hearing that she’s a hero and that saving people is what she does, and then overtly later. But also, he’s here to be the voice of Superman, who can’t appear on the show because he’s busy starring in movies. At the end of the episode, James reveals that Superman wanted Supergirl to follow in his footsteps as a hero, but he couldn’t just tell her that himself. She had to choose heroism for herself, because “that’s what heroes do.” And now that she’s made that choice, James gives her the indestructible baby blanket from Superman’s rocket, which is the perfect cape.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

The notion that choosing to be a hero is what makes you a hero is a pretty good one, and a pretty decent replacement to the idea that power=responsibility. Nobody ever suggests that Supergirl actually has a responsibility to use her powers to help people (or that the blood of untold thousands of people who’ve died in preventable accidents and crimes while she was fetching coffee is on her hands.) She can’t be a hero unless she chooses that for herself, fair enough. Especially since her choice to be a hero has attracted the attention of all those Fort Rozz escapees and innocents are going to get hurt in the crossfire, too.

The Superman thing

To some extent, this show’s premise depends on a certain amount of Superdickery. Superman just dumped Kara with this family and flew off without even looking back.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch

And because of the aforementioned “brand confusion” issues or whatever, I guess we’ll never get to meet Superman as an actual character on this show. He’ll just be constantly referenced, and seen from afar, and occasionally glimpsed out of the corner of your eye. Supergirl will live in Superman’s shadow (especially at first) but he can never actually show up and have to compete with her fairly. This could get kind of weird, but at least in this first episode the “oh you just missed him” thing kind of works, because it accentuates the sense that Superman is a legend that Supergirl is just struggling to live up to.

Only time can tell whether Superman’s absence will feel like the constant Avengers references in Agents of SHIELD season one, or something more artful. Also, a lot depends on how well the show develops the themes laid out in this episode, about her insecurity as a newbie hero and her uncertainty about whether the world needs her. If she’s still taking this much shit from Hank Henshaw a month from now, I might start having suspension of disbelief issues.

For now, though, this show is off to a strong, thrilling start.

Supergirl Proves That Dorky Cuteness Can Still Pack One Hell of a Punch


Charlie Jane Anders is the author of All The Birds in the Sky, coming in January from Tor Books. Follow her on Twitter, and email her.


Here Are the First Official Shots of the Lego Ghostbusters Firehouse HQ Set

$
0
0

Here Are the First Official Shots of the Lego Ghostbusters Firehouse HQ Set

Barely a week after a Toys “R” Us store in Canada leaked the possible existence of the Ghostbusters Firehouse Headquarters, the actual set has officially been revealed by Lego itself via the company’s Twitter and Facebook accounts this morning.

It looks like Lego had some extra fun with the new set’s reveal by photographing it in front of the now famous Hook & Ladder 8 firehouse in New York which served as Ghostbusters headquarters—at least for exterior shots—in the original movie.

Here Are the First Official Shots of the Lego Ghostbusters Firehouse HQ Set

Available starting in January (sadly a month too late for Christmas) the $350, 4,634-piece set fills two floors with a laboratory, living quarters, the requisite ghost containment unit, and nine Minifigs including Peter, Ray, Egon, Winston, Janine Melnitz, Dana Barrett, Louis Tully, the library ghost, and a zombie ghost driver.

Here Are the First Official Shots of the Lego Ghostbusters Firehouse HQ Set

Slimer is also here, included as a trio of non-Minifig ghosts that can be mounted all over the building, and the entire structure opens up for easy play access. Other features of note include the firefighter’s pole that Ray fell in love with, and if you look closely, even mood slime bubbling up through cracks in the sidewalk. All that’s missing is a giant sailor made of marshmallow to make this new set absolutely perfect. [Twitter - Lego]

Here Are the First Official Shots of the Lego Ghostbusters Firehouse HQ Set

Here Are the First Official Shots of the Lego Ghostbusters Firehouse HQ Set


You’re reading Leg Godt, the blog with the latest Lego news and the best sets on the web. Follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

Incredible Video Shows an Orca Whale Hurling a Seal 80 Feet Into the Air

$
0
0

Incredible Video Shows an Orca Whale Hurling a Seal 80 Feet Into the Air

A film crew working off the coast of Victoria, British Columbia, has captured remarkable footage of a transient killer whale using its tail to launch a Pacific harbor seal some 80 feet (20 meters) into the air.

The footage was captured by Mike Walker, owner of Roll.Focus.Productions, who was filming a promotional video for a whale-watching company. In the video, a transient killer whale—dubbed T69C—can be seen launching a harbor seal some 80 feet into the air with a flick of its giant tail.

The seal toss happens at the 0:28 mark. (Credit: Roll.Focus.Productions/YouTube)

Transient killer whales, also known as Bigg’s killer whales, feed almost exclusively on marine mammals. Behavior like this is not without precedent; last year, a killer whale was filmed throwing a sea lion 20 feet into the air. The Earth Touch News Network quotes cetacean researcher Dr. Chris Parsons as saying that the behavior is likely a bit of practice:

They don’t often eat the seals [after hitting them]. But when they hit Dall’s porpoises, they do it to eviscerate them. They hit them so hard that their entrails pop out, which they leave behind after eating the muscle and blubber.

Walker says his team does a ton of whale watching, but witnessing an event like this is quite rare.

“Brett Soberg—owner of Eagle Wing—mentioned to us that it’s only the fourth time he’s seen an orca do that in about 20 years,” he told the Huffington Post. “It was spectacular. You can hear me yelling ‘Yes!’ over and over in the video.”

H/t Earth Touch News Network!

This Is Why Some Sand Dunes Sing

$
0
0

This Is Why Some Sand Dunes Sing

Certain sand dunes make their own desert music, singing, booming, or even “burping” — a naturally occurring musical instrument. Scientists have discovered that these distinct sounds are each created by different types of waves moving through the dunes.

The 13th century explorer Marco Polo claimed in his writings that the sand dunes in the Gobi Desert filled the air “with the sounds of all kinds of musical instruments, and also of drums and the clash of arms.” He wasn’t just being fanciful; reports of sand dunes squeaking, or booming, date back to 9th century China. There’s even a famous “Singing Mountain” (Mount Ming-Sha-Shan) that booms like thunder when people slide down the sand. Even Charles Darwin noticed the phenomenon on his travels through Chile.

Now a research fellow at Cambridge University, Nathalie Vriend was a graduate student at Caltech when she first read about booming sand dunes in a science magazine, and she thought it would make an excellent PhD project, given her background in mechanical engineering and burgeoning interest in geophysics. She enlisted the aid of two professors, Melany Hunt and Rob Clayton, and together they trekked out to California’s Mojave National Preserve and Death Valley National Park to study the phenomenon firsthand. They hoped their work would help explain certain discrepancies in past measurements of the singing sand phenomenon.

That’s right: this isn’t the first time intrepid scientists have ventured out into the desert to slide down sand dunes and record the resulting sound effects — whether it be singing, booming or burping. Nearly 10 years ago, an international team led by Stephane Douady was studying the formation of crescent-shaped dunes in Morocco, and inadvertently set off an avalanche while scrambling up a dune. This produced a 100-decibel singing sound. They discovered that sliding down the dunes reproduced the same sound, which they duly recorded; they even managed to recreate it in donut-shaped sandbox back in the lab.

Sand is a form of granular media, meaning it can act as a solid, yet flow like a liquid when it avalanches. Douady suggested that the face of the dune acted as a kind of loudspeaker, amplifying the surface wave vibrations created by the avalanching sand. Individual grains collided about 100 times per second, creating a feedback loop of collisions tuned to a specific frequency. (Around 450 Hz is the most common frequency, although the dunes studied by Vriend et al. “sang” between 70 and 105 Hz.) The result was singing sand. But not just any sand will do. The grains must be round, and just the right size (between 0.1 and 0.5 mm in diameter), and must also contain silica. Nor can it be too humid.

This Is Why Some Sand Dunes Sing

That’s why Vriend et al. conducted their field experiments over 25 days during the driest months: May through September. The mercury hit a scorching 118 degrees F on one of those days, which is why the team typically made their measurements between 3AM and 4 AM. They used geophones to detect waves traveling through the dunes, similar to how microphones detect sound waves in the air.

Based on those measurements, they concluded that the different types of sounds the dunes produced are associated with different kinds of waves traveling through the sand dune. It’s the so-called “P-waves” that are responsible for that booming sound; Vriend explained that they travel in volume and thus seem to spread throughout the entire dune. In contrast, “Rayleigh waves” seem to produce the burping sounds, and only spread near the surface of the dune. They are two distinct, though related, physical effects.

The team also discovered another surprising effect. They found they could trigger the dune’s natural resonance by hitting a metal plate with a hammer, producing the telltale booming frequency.

Earlier this year, Vriend took a fresh batch of students to Qatar to study dune migration and avalanche dynamics, and they were thrilled to hear the booming effect firsthand. “It feels like your whole body starts to vibrate,” Vriend told Gizmodo. “When you are standing away from the dune, it is really difficult to comprehend that such a small and thin avalanche creates such a loud sound that booms over the desert floor.”

References:

Dagois-Bohy, S., Courrech du Pont, S. and Douady, S. (2012) “Singing-sand avalanches without dunes,” Geophysical Research Letters 39: L20310.

Douady, S. et al. (2006) “The song of the dunes as a self-synchronized instrument,” Physical Review Letters 97: 018002.

Hunt, M.L. and Vriend, N.M. (2010) “Booming Sand Dunes,” Annal Review of Earth and Planetary Sciences 38.

Vriend, N.M., et al. (2007) “Solving the mystery of booming sand dunes,” Geophysical Research Letters 34: L16306.

Vriend, N.M., Hunt, M.L. and Clayton, R.W. (2015) “Linear and Nonlinear Wave Propagation in Booming Sand Dunes,” Physics of Fluids, published online October 27, 2015.

Images courtesy of Vriend et al./Physics of Fluids.

Star Wars: The Old Republic Now Feels More Like A Classic BioWare RPG

$
0
0

Star Wars: The Old Republic Now Feels More Like A Classic BioWare RPG

Star Wars: The Old Republic’s new 4.0 update changes everything, as does a fresh expansion to one of the most controversial massively multiplayer games in recent memory.

Last year I asked developers working on the game about their plans for the future. What they told me then is a phrase that reps for the game’s publisher and development studio, EA and Bioware, have repeated ad nauseum in the run-up to this year’s big update, SWTOR 4.0, and the new Knights of the Fallen Empire expansion: “a return to BioWare cinematic storytelling.”

I didn’t believe them. At all.

Good news: They actually did it.

As I wrote last year here on Kotaku, what Bioware did with SWTOR’s previous expansion, Shadow of Revan, gave me no hope for the game’s future. That expansion would not be mistaken for Bioware cinematic storytelling. It was more of the troubled mashup of Bioware RPG and massively multiplayer online game tropes that it had been since SWTOR launched in 2011, with lower production values.

I recently started playing Knights of the Fallen Empire, which officially comes out for all subscribers of the game on October 27. It feels different. For the most part, it feels like what you would expect a successor to their beloved Knights of the Old Republic to be. It was as if the folks at Bioware Austin had a moment in the past year in which they collectively said “fuck it” and decided to just do it. I recently asked producer Bruce Maclean and lead writer Charles Boyd if that’s what they were thinking, too. “We can’t say that, but you can,” Boyd said.

“This is the year of Star Wars,” he continued. “This is a big year for everyone. And that was it. Why assume that our game is gonna go a certain direction, or things are gonna go a certain way for an online game that’s out been out for a few years?”

The subscriber-only Knights of the Fallen Empire expansion (which you keep even if you unsubscribe later) is accompanied by the most significant patch SWTOR has ever received. That free 4.0 update is a drastic quality-of-life overhaul of many of the basic ways the game functions. It essentially takes the philosophy behind Fallen Empire and attempts to apply it to the previous content. It makes everything that came before far less of an ordeal.

Star Wars: The Old Republic Now Feels More Like A Classic BioWare RPG

For someone like me who has played SWTOR heavily since it first launched in 2011, the 4.0 update and Knights of the Fallen Empire represents a turning point. It’s a shocking experience, really, and lays bare how the game has gradually become vastly more user-friendly since day one. SWTOR 4.0 is a large step further in that direction, and it’s pretty difficult to comprehend how much has changed since the start. It’s far from perfect, though, and certainly not as good as it could have been had they chosen to build the game this way from the beginning. That they had the gumption to take this path is nice.

The Knights of the Fallen Empire story itself is a massive shift from what we’ve seen before, even just from Shadow of Revan a year ago. Yes, it is another instance of: “third party disrupts the war between the Sith and Republic because there’s now only one main storyline for Sith and Jedi players alike.” This one takes that formula to an unprecedented extreme. Something called the Eternal Empire of Zakuul shows up. This empire boasts a fleet of droid-controlled ships that outstrips any other force in the galaxy and brings both governments to their knees. This new empire has ships patrolling the space lanes but isn’t equipped for a boots-on-the-ground campaign. Your job is to take the empire down by, first, escaping their clutches after being frozen in carbonite for five years and, second, assembling a coalition of the willing to fight back.

Though this all feels pretty out-of-left-field initially, it does continue the greater plot of SWTOR. The old Sith Emperor is still on his endless quest for immortality and omnipotence. He very much has a hand in these events.

Fallen Empire beautifully and almost completely abandons the trappings of MMO questing in favor of more linear dungeon crawling and a heavy emphasis on story scenes. Whereas in vanilla SWTOR, each character class had their own story, the Revan expansion had narrowed that focus to just one shared storyline. With Fallen Empire it feels like we get something in return for that sacrifice with production values in the story scenes that I didn’t think were possible in SWTOR. There aren’t any distracting, irrelevant side quests or extraneous tasks—you just play the story, and the MMOness comes after the core plot is completed. Group dungeons and more mundane activities are compartmentalized outside of the main story thread. The game is going to continue to be this way for a while, at least, as the KotFE story will proceed episodically in 2016. When you play an episode, everything else is put on hold.

And in a nice nod, once the main story is through and you start exploring the MMO-ish activities, you’ll often find yourself in conversations that are a direct homage to KOTOR. Like this:

Star Wars: The Old Republic Now Feels More Like A Classic BioWare RPG

The expansion is a surprise, but the biggest shock is how different the game is as a whole now, from level 1 on up. The experience of creating a new character from scratch and playing through their story right now is...pretty wild. I’ll run down some of the changes from day one to now in key mechanics.

-This big one is in how fast you level up. In the past, you had to do most of the solo quests— whether they were part of your character class’ individual story or just some irrelevant side things—in order to stay on level with the planets you were progressing through. Now, you can stick to the class story quests and a few multi-part faction quests and get through fine. The ones you need are marked in purple, so you’ll know what matters. This huge change allows you to move through the game briskly.

-They’ve eliminated the need to keep your companion characters geared up. Before 4.0, you had to update your companion characters’ gear the same way you would your own. Their stats are now dictated by character level and your level of “influence” (formerly known as affection) over them. Likewise, any of your companions can fit any of the gameplay roles in the game (damage, tank, healer) instead of having a predetermined one. Both of these changes allows you to proceed through the game alongside the characters you most like, instead of choosing them based on role or just going with whoever has the best gear.

-Specialized class stats (strength, willpower, cunning, aim) have been removed in favor of a single generic one called “mastery,” and most gear in the game has been made adaptive and rather than the restrictive light, medium or heavy designations. In the past the presence of those specialized stats and armor types precluded some characters from being able to use certain gear or mods for said gear. Gear selection is now much less complex than it used to be, and you have greater freedom to wear what you want to wear.

Star Wars: The Old Republic Now Feels More Like A Classic BioWare RPG

-Navigating the world is less of a hassle, thanks to previous game updates and 4.0. When you go to a planet all the taxi links are unlocked. You can go where you want to go by taxi, rather than having to walk to each one to unlock it. Also, quick-travel bind points (i.e. places you can teleport to from any spot on the map) are unlocked whenever you enter the area they’re in, so you don’t have to remember to click them to unlock them. The level required to be able to use mounts has dropped to 10 for subscribers, as opposed to 25 at launch (!). The sprint ability is granted as soon as you start the game, instead of at level 10 as it was at launch.

-Most group dungeons (flashpoints) now have a solo mode in addition to the old group mode, if you just want to see the story without dealing with people.

That’s hardly a comprehensive look at the way the game has evolved. There are so many things I’m still discovering as I play. I don’t think any of these changes are bad, though the change to companions has resulted in them being overpowered. I expect that will be nerfed at least a bit at some point.

Overall, the changes do feel strange. Having always been somebody who was into SWTOR because I like Star Wars and I like the Bioware-style of storytelling (usually), I’m one of those goobers who over the past four years has built up a roster of 19 different characters, most of which I played at least to level 50. I know all of the planets in the game very well, because I’ve quested through them over and over. Ten of my characters are with the Empire faction, and all of those are at least level 20. That means I’ve gone through the planet Dromund Kaas 10 times. I did that yet again with the 4.0 update, and it honestly made me uneasy.

The game is not constructed to be played as efficiently as is possible now, and since I’m so intimately acquainted with it, I can feel that very clearly. It’s not as if I have any real desire to ever do most of the side quests again, but it’s odd to walk through large areas that were built to contain those quests as I ignore them en route to a main story objective. It’s disconcerting to skip over parts of the game that I know provide significant context for that place in the universe. It’s weird to be tearing through. Maybe new players wouldn’t notice. I definitely do.

Star Wars: The Old Republic Now Feels More Like A Classic BioWare RPG

In making something new there is more freedom, so the 4.0 patch shakes up the game and the expansion moves it as far forward as possible. From the moment you start the Knights of the Fallen Empire story it’s a big departure, certainly, but not nearly so much of a shift as would be possible with a standalone sequel. As in life, we all have to live with what Bioware did with SWTOR in the past, even as they try to fix it up as best they can.

“We want to be bold and think outside the box with this expansion, but we also have to be respectful of Star Wars: The Old Republic as it already exists,“ Maclean said.

This is another rub, of course. As with any notable game, there are some longtime players who actually liked the way SWTOR was. It’s another minefield they have to navigate in improving the game. And, like it or not, SWTOR is still an MMO and will have to continue to be one. Compartmentalizing the story from the MMO stuff is probably the best way to handle this. There aren’t many things they could just flat out remove from the game, but reducing the pain as much as possible helps.

“Life as a developer of an online game is full of regrets,” Maclean said. “We’ll never get better if we don’t look at things we’ve done with a critical eye and say, ‘ You know, that was stupid. Why did we do that?’”

What Bioware has done here is admirable. Developers talk endlessly about being perfectionists and building the best possible experience but that rarely works out. Stories of interference from on high like the one Kotaku published about Destiny last week are a common occurrence, as are tales of money running out and/or hard deadlines preventing games from really being what their creators envisioned. Big budget game development is chaos, and things never quite come out right from that messy process.

I couldn’t tell you exactly why Star Wars: The Old Republic was what it was in 2011, but I do know it was a big fuckup on somebody’s part and that nothing that came after in terms of updates and expansions had been a really impactful course correction until now.

“It’s easy to fall into a pattern and just get used to the way things are and assume that that’s the way they should be,” Boyd said.

Star Wars: The Old Republic Now Feels More Like A Classic BioWare RPG

The inertia of doing the same thing over and over is powerful in all facets of life. And acknowledging that human tendency aloud is useful when trying to break free of it. SWTOR is a game that is largely maligned or ignored outside of its community because what most people really wanted from from a Bioware Star Wars game was certainly not a massively multiplayer online game. An MMO is nonetheless what Bioware made, but that clearly doesn’t preclude them from at least attempting to go as hard as they can in the way they’re proven they’re best at, rather than coasting along without much meaningful ambition.

“[Players] want that Bioware role-playing game experience,” Maclean said. “And we can do it. Not only can we do it—we have to do it.”

And they did do it, in what may be the best way they could stuck within the constraints of the game they put out years ago.

“The shape of the story just feels right,” Boyd said. “It feels like this is what we should be doing, and what we should have been doing all along.”

Phil Owen is a freelance entertainment journalist and critic based in Los Angelss. You can follow him on Twitter at @philrowen, and send hate mail to phil.r.owen@gmail.com.

Some "Ghosts" May Be Sound Waves Just Below Human Hearing

$
0
0

Some "Ghosts" May Be Sound Waves Just Below Human Hearing

There are many possible explanations for hauntings, not least that humans are highly suggestible creatures, especially when we want to believe. But some ghost sightings might actually be the result of sounds — sound waves that vibrate just below our range of hearing, dubbed the “fear frequency.”

Sound is basically mechanical energy in the form of a pressure wave with crests and troughs: vibrations create a disturbance in the surrounding air and ripple outward, like tossing a pebble in a pond. Frequency measures how many crests occur within one second in a wave. The unit of measurement is called a Hertz (Hz), and 1 Hz is equivalent to 1 vibration per second. A plucked guitar string might vibrate 500 times per second, causing surrounding air particles to vibrate at the same frequency, so the sound wave’s frequency would be 500 Hertz.

The typical range for human hearing runs from 20 Hz to 20,000 Hz (20 kHz), although this varies from person to person, and shrinks as we age. Under ideal lab conditions, some people can pick up sounds as low as 12 Hz — well into the “infrasound” range. But even when we don’t consciously hear such sounds, they may induce feelings of anxiety, especially at higher intensities. This has led some people to dub infrasound in the 18.9 Hz range — i.e., just a tad below the threshold for human hearing — the “fear frequency.”

We can thank a British engineer named Vic Tandy for associating this so-called fear frequency with ghostly visitations. He was a real-life ghost buster, thanks to his own personal experience with a suspected “ghost” while working late one night at the (supposedly haunted) Warwick Laboratory. He inexplicably felt the hairs on his neck prickle, as if in fear, and caught the barest glimpse of a gray blob-like figure out of the corner of his eye. It vanished when he turned his head to look at it directly.

Being a sensible sort, he cast about for a logical explanation, and he found one in the phenomenon of resonant frequency. Every material object has a natural resonant frequency at which it vibrates. If there is another object nearby that is sensitive to the same frequency, it will absorb the vibrations (sound waves) emanated from the other object and start to vibrate in response. The effect is known as “sympathetic resonance.” It’s why running your damp finger along the rim of a crystal wine glass produces a faint hum, and why a chord struck on one piano will be echoed by a piano in another room.

Some "Ghosts" May Be Sound Waves Just Below Human Hearing

While working on a fencing foil the next day in the lab, Tandy noticed that the blade began vibrating even though nothing was touching it. It turned out that the lab’s extractor fan was emitting a resonant frequency of around 18.98 Hz, also roughly the same resonant frequency as the human eye.

He concluded that the gray blob he’d seen was an optical illusion, the result of his eyeballs resonating at just that frequency. Ditto for his feelings of anxiety and fear. “When we finally switched it off, it was as if a huge weight was lifted,” he told the Guardian back in 2000.

Tandy died in 2005, but others have carried on his work. Psychologist and paranormal debunker Richard Wiseman and a few UK colleagues conducted their own mass infrasound experiment in May 2003 via a public concert they called Infrasonic. Some 700 people showed up for the two performances, featuring two pieces of music that contained the critical 17 Hz tones at a volume right at the edge of human hearing. (Other pieces without those tones served as controls, since the audience didn’t know which of the pieces had those near-infrasonic tones.)

The result: It wasn’t a slam dunk in terms of hard evidence — there’s a lot of subjectivity at play, and scientists still aren’t sure why infrasound affects some people and not others — but a good 22% of the audience reported feeling anxious, uneasy, fearful, pressure on the chest, or a chill down the spine. As Wiseman told the British Association for the Advancement of Science when he reported his results, “These results suggest that low frequency sound can cause people to have unusual experiences even though they cannot consciously detect infrasound.”

A 2008 experiment led by British psychologist Christopher French proved even more intriguing. With colleagues from University of London College, he built a “haunted” room rigged up with infrasonic generators (as well as sources of electromagnetic pulses); 79 brave Londoners volunteered to spend some time inside.

“Most people reported at least some slightly odd sensation, such as a presence or feeling dizzy, and some reported terror, which we hadn’t expected,” French told Scientific American in 2008. But he stopped short of claiming that low-frequency electromagnetic fields or infrasound were the direct cause of such feelings; suggestibility seems to also play a role.

Incidentally, infrasound is also associated with the infamous “brown note”: sound frequencies between 5 and 9 Hz that are rumored to make people lose control of their bowels. Those rumors appear to stem from the early days of the U.S. space program, when astronauts reported adverse effects from vibration tests. Subsequent studies however, including a 2005 investigation by TV’s Mythbusters, haven’t shown any such effects.

References:

French, CC., Haque, U., Bunton-Stasyshyn, R., Davis, R. (2009) “The “Haunt” project: An attempt to build a ‘haunted’ room by manipulating complex electromagnetic fields and infrasound,” Cortex 45 (5): 619–629.

St-Pierre, LS; Persinger, MA. (2006) “Experimental facilitation of the sensed presence is predicted by the specific patterns of the applied magnetic fields, not by suggestibility: re-analyses of 19 experiments,” International Journal of Neuroscience 116 (9): 1079–96.

Tandy, Vic and Lawerence, Tony. (1998) “Ghosts in the machine,” Journal of the Society for Psychical Research 62 (851): 360-364.

Tandy, V. (2000) “Something in the cellar,” Journal of the Society for Psychical Research 64(3): 860.

Wiseman, Richard. Paranormality: Why We See What Isn’t There. London: Spin Solutions Ltd., 2011.


20kHz is a new blog exploring the technology and science behind music and sound. Follow us @twentykhz.

Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

$
0
0

Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Here are the best of today’s deals. Get every great deal every day on Kinja Deals, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to never miss a deal, join us on Kinja Gear to read about great products, and on Kinja Co-Op to help us find the best.


More Deals

Today’s Best Gaming Deals​

http://deals.kinja.com/todays-best-ga...

Today’s Best Media Deals

http://deals.kinja.com/todays-best-me...

Today’s Best App Deals

http://deals.kinja.com/todays-best-ap...


Top Deals


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Update: Sold out

We know you guys like Velcro cable ties, but if you’re interested in a different option for keeping your wires organized, these neoprene zip-up sleeves seem like a great deal [5-Pack Sumsonic 20” Neoprene Cable Management Sleeve, $11 with code QX2RNNLN]

http://www.amazon.com/VELCRO-ONE-WRA...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Audio Technica’s venerable ATH-M50x took home the crown in a recent Kinja Co-Op for best headphones, and Amazon will sell you a pair for $129 today, one of the best deals we’ve seen that didn’t involve a bundled item or mail-in rebate.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

http://co-op.kinja.com/the-best-headp...

If that’s still a little too rich for your blood, the lower end (but still excellent) ATH-M40x and ATH-M30x variants are also on sale for $79 and $49, respectively. There’s a chart on each Amazon page to help you decide which pair is right for you, but all three should satisfy all but the most discerning audiophiles.

http://www.amazon.com/Audio-Technica...

http://www.amazon.com/Audio-Technica...

Just note that these prices are part of an Amazon Gold Box deal, meaning they’re only available today, or until sold out. [Audio Technica Headphone Sale]


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

In case you missed it earlier in the month, the best DVR for cord cutters is back in stock, complete with discounted lifetime service.

The TiVo Roamio OTA is the TiVo box you know and love, but designed specifically for users of HDTV antennas. The box itself retails for $50, but it typically comes saddled with a $15 monthly service fee. While supplies last though, you can get the box plus lifetime (of the box, not of you) service for a single, upfront $300 fee. That’s a hefty investment, but it’ll pay for itself in 17 months compared to committing to a monthly fee.

http://lifehacker.com/five-best-indo...

Lifetime service for most TiVos costs an exorbitant $500, so you’re actually saving a ton of money by forgoing the cable card here. Unfortunately, they only seem to sell these boxes in limited quantities, so be sure to grab one before it sells out again. [TiVo Roamio OTA HD DVR with Product Lifetime Service, $300]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0148ZRFVO/...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

If you’re in the market for a new action cam, and only the best will do, you can save a whopping $140 on the top-of-the-line GoPro Hero4 Black today. That’s the best deal we’ve ever seen on this model. [GoPro Hero4 Black, $360]

http://www.rakuten.com/prod/gopro-her...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

From time to time, we’ll see USB battery packs with built-in microUSB charging cables, but this model from OLALA swaps that out for an Apple Lightning cable, in addition to a standard USB port.

Granted, it wouldn’t be too hard to find a 6,000mAh battery pack and a Lightning cable for less than $24 combined, but there’s definitely something to be said for not having to worry about packing an extra wire. [OLALA C2 6,000mAh Lightning Charger, $24 with code BL3UY33F]

http://www.amazon.com/Certified-OLAL...

Alternative: Add a Lightning or microUSB cable to your keychain, and you’ll never find yourself without one.

http://gear.kinja.com/these-keychain...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

If you can’t start your day without a morning cup of coffee, but you’re still using an electric drip coffee maker, or even (gasp) a Keurig, you might want to try out a flavor-extracting french press. This inexpensive Homdox model looks nearly identical to the excellent Bodum Chambord, but is significantly cheaper at $17.

If you’re not convinced, know that french press took the #1 spot in Lifehacker’s coffee-making Hive Five, and many coffee aficionados swear by it. And with no disposable filters to buy (not to mention K-Cups, if you’re using a Keurig), this machine could pay for itself over time.

http://lifehacker.com/most-popular-c...

Today’s Amazon deal is the cheapest we’ve ever seen this model, but we don’t know how long it will last, so perk up and lock in your order while you can. [Homdox French Press Coffee & Tea Maker, $17 with code BIL864QQ]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZW8Y7PE/

More Coffee Gear

http://gear.kinja.com/buying-guide-g...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Yesterday, we shared a deal on Tronsmart’s popular 4-port Quick Charge 2.0 car charger. And while that deal is still available, they’ve upped the ante with a bonus deal on their 3-port QC 2.0 travel charger as well.

Tronsmart Quick Charge 2.0 42W 3 Ports Turbo Wall Charger ($12) | Amazon | Promo code ZE2KM4CI

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Tronsmart 54W 4 Ports Rapid Car Charger with Qualcomm Certified Quick Charge 2.0 Technology, $13 with code OUJY9F3R

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

The original Sony RX100 has had three sequels since release, but it’s still the camera that singlehandedly made point and shoots relevant again.

http://gizmodo.com/5931587/sony-r...

Considering its most recent incarnation, the RX100-IV clocks in at $950, $398 for the original model is a great price for anyone who wants to take great photos without fiddling with lenses. We’ve seen it a bit cheaper from a few eBay sellers, but this is a match for the best price Amazon has ever offered. [Sony RX100, $398]

http://www.amazon.com/Sony-DSC-RX100...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

If you’re a satisfied Apple Watch owner, but don’t want to pay Apple a month’s rent just for a metal band, this third party option is down to just $25 today, and is available in silver and space grey for both watch case sizes. [Oittm Stainless Steel Apple Watch Band, $25 with code M9T6AYIC]

http://www.amazon.com/Oittm-Stainles...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Woot just did something very un-Wootlike; they added a deal in the middle of the day. And a pretty good one at that!

If you hurry, you can score a PS4 for $300, plus Woot’s standard $5 shipping. While you could certainly argue that various bundles priced at $350 MSRP are better deals, if you’d rather save money upfront, and worry about buying games later, this is one of the best pure discounts we’ve seen. [PlayStation 4, $305]

http://www.woot.com/offers/sony-pl...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Steaming is no substitute for ironing, but it’ll get you 90% of the way to a wrinkle free wardrobe in a fraction of the time. Assuming you have room in your closet, this steamer is a steal at $40. [SALAV GS34-BJ Performance Garment Steamer, $40]


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

If you long for the clickiness and key travel of a mechanical keyboard, this TT eSPORTS Poseidon model is a fantastic option at $80, or nearly $20 less than usual.

With macro programming and advanced backlighting, this is obviously marketed towards gamers, but its shape and design details are fairly vanilla, and its Cherry MX Brown switches are as well suited for general typing as they are for gaming. [Tt eSPORTS POSEIDON Z RGB LED BROWN SWITCH Mechanical Gaming Keyboard, $80]

http://lifehacker.com/how-to-choose-...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...

http://www.ebay.com/itm/2915829160...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

The iPhone 6 and 6s don’t have the amazing battery life of their oversized brethren, but this $27 battery case can more than make up the difference. We posted this same product last week when it went on sale for $33, so $27 is even more of a no-brainer. [1byone iPhone 6 3100mAh Rainbow Battery Charger Case, $27 with code XJEOKJLB]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Here’s a great stocking stuffer idea for any outdoorsmen in your life this holiday season. Amazon will sell you a stainless steel knife, a sheath, and a flint fire starter all for just $4. The biggest catch is that it’s an add-on item, meaning you’ll need to include it as part of a larger order. [Szco Supplies Tanto Survivor Fire starter Knife, $4]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002SUT7G8/...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

20% iTunes gift card discounts are great, but they’re not exactly rare. Anything more than that though qualifies as truly exciting, including this $100 gift card for $75. [$100 iTunes Gift Card, $75]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/100-iTunes...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

The entire series of Battlestar Galactica is down to $82 today, an all-time low. That’s a big frakking deal. [Battlestar Galactica: The Complete Series, $82]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0036EH3U2/...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Halo 5 is out today, and you can already save $10 on the base game, or $30 on the Limited Collector’s Edition.

Halo 5: Guardians ($50) | Amazon | Prime members only. Discount shown at checkout.

http://www.amazon.com/Halo-5-Guardia...

Halo 5: Guardians Limited Collector’s Edition ($220) | Woot


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

While supplies last, if you buy a new Xbox One bundle on Amazon, you can choose an extra game for free. Unfortunately, Halo 5 and Assassin’s Creed Syndicate aren’t available, but there are several recent releases to choose from. [Buy an Xbox One, Choose a Free Game]


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

If you’re going to emulate NES games on your PC, you might as well do it properly. [Classic USB NES Controller for PC, $6]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002YVD3KM/...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Dell includes promotional gift cards with a lot of the items they sell, but this is on a completely different level. If you buy a 55” 4K 3D Sony TV for $1498 (which is the market rate) today, Dell will throw in a $500 promotional gift card for your trouble.

That’s basically good for a free game console with games, or a 4K computer monitor, or even a mid-range computer. The only real caveat is that you have to spend the credit within 90 days. [Sony 55” 4K 3D Smart TV, $1498 + $500 Promo Gift Card]

If this isn’t quite what you’re looking for, check out Dell’s other gift card promotions here.

Note: It should go without saying, but make sure you see the $500 gift card in your cart before you check out. It should be added automatically, but Dell has been known to end these promotions without warning, so double check before you complete your order.


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Need a little push to get off the couch, or just want to recreate a viral web stunt? The Fitbit Charge HR is the best fitness tracker for most people, and you can get one for just $110 today ($40 off), which is a match for the best deal we’ve seen on the heart rate-tracking model. [Fitbit Charge HR, $110]

http://www.rakuten.com/prod/fitbit-ch...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

$20 is a great price for a waterproof Bluetooth speaker, but for that price, Aukey will even toss in a waterproof smartphone case. So let’s say you want to use the speaker to listen to music or podcasts in the shower. Now, you can take your phone in there as well to control playback. [Aukey Wireless Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker and Aukey Universal Waterproof Case, $20. Add both to cart and use code GYVW2V3D]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...

http://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Auk...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

I’m not going to judge you for wanting a Keurig machine. This is a safe place. In fact, even Keurig skeptics might be interested in this refurbished SS-700 coffee maker for $60, or more than $100 off the cost of a new one. [Refurb Keurig SS-700 Coffee Maker, $60]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/3219035959...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Target is currently offering $10 back when you spend $40 on health and hygiene essentials, including everything from multivitamins to tampons to lube. Plus, many items ship with a bonus gift card when you purchase multiples, and you can save an extra 10% with promo code CARTWHEEL. [$10 off Select $40 Health and Hygiene Purchases]


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Lifehacker readers love Merkur safety razors, and you can get your very own for a great low price today on Amazon.

http://lifehacker.com/learn-to-use-a...

It might seem intimidating at first, but safety razors can get you a closer shave at a fraction of the cost of cartridge-based systems, and you can even try different types of blades to find one that suits your face. We’re not sure how long Amazon’s going to be shaving the price of the Merkur though, so grab yours on sale while you still can. [Merkur Long Handled Safety Razor, $23]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...

http://www.amazon.com/Double-Safety-...


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Co-Op: Ladies, What Is Your Favorite Razor?


Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Headphones, Best Ever GoPro Deal, and More

Co-Op: What’s Your Favorite External Hard Drive?


Tech


Storage

http://www.amazon.com/Inateck-Dockin...

Power

http://www.amazon.com/Certified-Inat...

Audio

http://www.amazon.com/Bluetooth-Show...

Home Theater

Computers & Accessories

PC Parts

Mobile Devices

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MTITJ94/...

Photography

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B014698066


Home


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Beauty & Grooming

Kitchen

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001M5NPP4/...

Fitness

Apparel

http://www.ebay.com/itm/3315861108...

Camping & Outdoors

Tools & Auto

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0158SOWGG


Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here to learn more. We want your feedback.

Send deal submissions to Deals@Gawker and all other inquiries to Shane@Gawker

Good News for superhero fans!

$
0
0

Good News for superhero fans! Supergirl’s premiere last night was the most watched debut of the fall season so far. The pilot, which we loved, was watched by 12.9 million viewers last night, also making it the most-watched superhero show of the 21st century.


We Will Never Find All The Dinosaurs

$
0
0

We Will Never Find All The Dinosaurs

There’s never been a better time to be a dinosaur hunter — or, if you can’t get your boots out in the field, a fossil fan. Paleontologists are announcing a new species of dinosaur at the rate of about one every two weeks. But are we ever going to find them all?

No. There are dinosaurs that we’re never, ever going to find. To understand why, though, you need to know something about how capricious the fossil record is and how paleontologists sift through the past.

That we have a fossil record at all is something to be thankful for. Chances are always against an organism being preserved in the rock from the very outset. Envision a wizened old Tyrannosaurus rex stamping along a Cretaceous floodplain. The dinosaur’s a big one – forty feet long and over nine tons, with about 200 bones – but the tyrant’s reign is at an end. The dinosaur’s huge heart gives out and the carnivore’s jaw slams onto the ground as it topples forward.

If our dear departed T. rex is going to become a fossil, it’s going to have to be pretty lucky. Meat did not go to waste in the Mesozoic, and we know that hungry tyrannosaurs had no qualms about scavenging their own kind. And that’s not even considering bone-burrowing beetles, bacteria, and the smaller cast of characters that would have helped break down the body. To even have a chance at becoming a fossil – whether intact or disarticulated by the carrion feeders – it’s going to have to be buried quickly.

Paleontologist Caitlyn Syme has modeled this in the lab with dead crocodiles. Crocs buried quickly maintained their articulation better than those allowed to “bloat and float” in water. In short, the longer a body is exposed, the more likely it is to be torn apart and scattered. This requires a great deal of sediment, especially for an animal as big as our hypothetical T. rex. A dead dinosaur on open ground is unlikely to be blanketed by mud and sand, especially if they die in the dry season. But a dinosaur that dies near a river, lake, or other source of sediment has a better chance of being covered up.

So dinosaurs had to die in just the right circumstances in order to be buried. This means that they had to perish in places where sediment was being deposited rather than being eroded away. And this is the first critical part of why we know we’re never going to find all the dinosaurs. The non-avian dinosaurs lived worldwide, on every landmass, for over 180 million years. They undoubtedly trod the uplands and mountains as well as the swamps and lakeshores. We’ll probably never find these mountain dinosaurs. They dwelled in places where sediment was being eroded, not laid down, so even if they were buried in their local habitat, their remains would eventually be scoured away as their highland homes began to crumble.

Not that the lowland carcasses had any assurances of one day being discovered, excavated, cleaned up, and pieced back together again. What was left of the dinosaurs had to be safeguarded from decay long enough for the rapid fossilization process to take place. From there the remains had to survive over 66 million years of geologic transformation and upheaval, the buried vestiges of swamps, forests, deserts, lakes, beaches, and other habitats being gradually thrust up to the surface. And of this fraction, only a small percentage of fossils are close enough to the surface for paleontologists to find them.

We Will Never Find All The Dinosaurs

Dinosaur hunters don’t go around digging random holes or using ground-penetrating radar (sorry Jurassic Park, but it doesn’t work). Experts and hordes of volunteers look for dinosaurs that are just starting to peek out of their rocky tombs, crumbs of bone leading up to limb bones or other elements poking out of the prehistoric stone.

This is why Charles Darwin devoted an entire chapter of On the Origin of Species to “the imperfection of the geological record.” Taking a page from his friend and geologic mentor Charles Lyell, Darwin asked readers to envision the entire history of life on Earth as a stone book:

Of this volume, here and there a short chapter has been preserved; and on each page, only here and there a few lines. Each word of the slowly-changing language, in which the history is supposed to be written, being more or less different in the interrupted succession of chapters, may represent the apparently abruptly changed forms of life, entombed in our consecutive, but widely separated, formations.


Darwin wrote this to defend himself against critics who would demand he show them fossils of creatures betwixt and between existing classes like bird and reptile or fish and amphibian. But the point still applies to the broad view of the fossil record. The rock record contains only a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of prehistoric life. We can’t find what isn’t there to be found.

Even among the dinosaurs that are ready to be picked up, there’s only a relatively small number of people out in the field during any given season. Researchers pick promising areas based on research questions, the search for particular specimens, ease of access, or to just see what’s out there. This means that some field areas – like the Late Cretaceous of North America – have many groups working them while others are still virtually unknown. As paleontologist Michael Benton found in a study of fossil record bias he published earlier this year, it’s not only the availability of the right rocks that limits the number of dinosaurs we’re likely to find. The way paleontologists look for fossils, often zeroing-in on hotspots where bones have been found before or rumored to exist, also biases what we know of dinosaur history.

Erosion doesn’t help any. There may have dinosaur species that we missed out on because their representative bones broke apart before anyone could get to them. Fossil bones can withstand erosion for a long time – such as part of a turtle arm bone that was reunited with its other half after 163 years – but everyone who’s been out in the field is familiar with the depressing bits of “chunkasaurus” that mark places where beautiful bones have busted apart. That’s when you sigh, take another draw from your Camelbak, and trudge on in the hope of finding something better.

Then there’s the biological reality of dinosaurs. We’ve probably collected more dinosaur species than we’re ever going to know about. The way paleontologists distinguish one dinosaur from another is on the basis of bones. But we know that there are living animals like some birds, lizards, and fish that have practically identical skeletons but can be told apart on the basis of coloration, their DNA, or some other soft tissue sign.

Even though paleontologists have recently cracked the secret of dinosaur color, at least for feathered species, we’re going to miss out on almost all of these “cryptic species.” Going back to our old friend Tyrannosaurus, for example, the dinosaur lived for two million years over a range spanning Saskatchewan to New Mexico. Even though all these skeletons can be assigned to T. rex, it’s possible that North America hosted multiple species of Tyrannosaurus that we simply lack the evidence to pick apart from one another.

So no, we’re never going to find all the dinosaurs. Time has taken too much away for that. But there’s no reason to despair. Lest you think we’re approaching peak dinosaur, estimates based on the amount of Mesozoic rock yet to be thoroughly searched suggest that paleontologists have only named about 500 of the 1,800 or so dinosaur genera that existed between 235 and 66 million years ago.

The fact that the odds are stacked against discovery makes every new bone strike a reason to celebrate, and, even with the geologic slivers we have, there’s plenty of ground still to cover. Paleontologists are going to be naming new dinosaurs for a very long to come. Right now we’re in the middle of the greatest bone rush in history, supported by the fact that another new dinosaur – an “ostrich mimic” named Totolmimus – was named just in the last couple of weeks. It’s another victory against time and chance, and a reminder that we’re damn lucky to have dinosaurs.

Top image: Reconstruction of Lythronax tyrannosaur at Natural History Museum of Utah. Credit: Brian Switek.

This Star Wars Game Trailer Is Everything We Want From Life

$
0
0

EA just released a new trailer for their upcoming Star Wars game, and it looks amazing. Well, we already thought it did—but if you didn’t know Battlefront was a video game, this just looks like a crazy Star Wars trailer. Boba Fett! Leia! The Emperor! Oh, this looks fun. Battlefront will be out November 17th.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

$
0
0

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

Halloween isn’t just a time to wear trashy costumes and collect candy. It’s also an opportunity to dress the animal in your life up, as fantastically as you want. Here are our favorite geek-centric costumes for pets.

http://io9.com/this-years-tra...

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

DARTH VADER

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

PUG VADER. Darth Bark???

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

BANTHA WITH SANDPERSON

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

Let’s hope bantha fodder tastes good to dogs.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

PRINCESS LEIA

http://www.amazon.com/Star-Warstrade...

Help me, Obi-Meow Kenobi. You’re my only hope.

Your cat will never forgive you for this, but it will be awesome.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

YODA

http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Yoda...

Dog or dog not. There is no try.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

AT-AT WALKER

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

Echo station 3-T-8, we have spotted canine walkers.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

RAPTOR

http://www.amazon.com/Animal-Planet-...

“You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that’s when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two raptors you didn’t even know were there.”

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

TRICERATOPS

http://www.amazon.com/Animal-Planet-...

“God creates dinosaurs, God kills dinosaurs, God creates man, man kills God, man brings back dinosaurs.”

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

VAMPIRE

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

Undeadly cute.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

WIZARD

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

Yer a wizard, hairy.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

CAPTAIN AMERICA

http://www.amazon.com/Classic-Univer...

Adorables Assemble!

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

IRON MAN

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

This means costume war, Cap.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

You’ll still like me when I’m angry.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

THOR

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

Now you face the mightiest Adorable of all!

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

SUPERMAN

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

a.k.a. Bark Kent.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

BATMAN

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

“They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I’ve looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge...Me.”

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

WONDER WOMAN

http://www.amazon.com/Rubies-Costume...

Thank Hera for this.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

SHERLOCK HOLMES

http://www.amazon.com/Sherlock-Hound...

The [tennis ball] game is afoot.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

KERMIT

http://www.amazon.com/Disney-Kermit-...

Miss Piggy not included.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

MINION

http://www.amazon.com/Despicable-Min...

Win at Hallowmeme.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

PIRATE

http://www.amazon.com/Arrival-Pet-Cl...

Savvy?

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

SNOW WHITE

http://www.amazon.com/Anit-Accessori...

Fur as white as snow!

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

NINJA TURTLE

http://www.amazon.com/Costume-Teenag...

Raphael is cool but rude.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

NINJA TURTLE

http://www.amazon.com/Teenage-Mutant...

Michaelangelo is a party dude.

The Best Geeky Halloween Costumes For Your Pet

MR. SPOCK

http://www.amazon.com/Star-Trek-Spoc...

This is highly illogical, Jim.

These are our favorites—but if we missed one of yours, be sure to put it in the comments. And can anyone lend us a dog for Halloween?

Glorious NSFW Letterforms Inspired by a Recent Translation of the Kama Sutra

$
0
0

Glorious NSFW Letterforms Inspired by a Recent Translation of the Kama Sutra

When Penguin Books US hired French artist Malika Favre to illustrate the cover of its 2011 edition of the Kama Sutra, she created letterforms that highlighted the erotic nature of the text, riffing on the two thousand-year old manual’s recommendations for sex positions.

Glorious NSFW Letterforms Inspired by a Recent Translation of the Kama Sutra

O: The Orb

Favre’s original commission was for just the six letters in the book’s title, but it inspired her to create an entire alphabet of copulating couples. You can see the artistic results at The Kama Sutra Project, though I still find the anatomical feasibility of some of those positions hard to believe.

Glorious NSFW Letterforms Inspired by a Recent Translation of the Kama Sutra

I: The Imperious Pole

[The Kama Sutra Project]

Art by Malika Favre, used with permission.


Contact the author at diane@io9.com.

All 14 Werewolf Tribes of Werewolf: The Apocalypse, Ranked

$
0
0

All 14 Werewolf Tribes of Werewolf: The Apocalypse, Ranked

While Lestat-loving role-playing gamers of the ‘90s were busy playing White Wolf’s Vampire: The Masquerade, gamers who craved action were busy playing Werewolf: The Apocalypse. Much like vampires and their clans, these werewolves were divided into tribes, each with its own powers, goals, and issues. Here they all are, ranked from best to worst.

1) Get of Fenris

More than any other White Wolf game—more than almost any other RPG ever, really—Werewolf: The Apocalypse is about combat. Even the weakest werewolves are horrifying murder machines, who could tear most vampires apart like a dinner croissant in a single turn. The Get of Fenris are effectively the fighter class of this RPG, with virtually all their werewolf powers devited to killing things more efficiently and more violently. This meant not only were they most powerful at the game’s primary play mode, they were also terrifyingly strong—strong enough to take on the many, many other werewolf-hating monsters that populate the game.

2) Glass Walkers

This may be a controversial pick. Because while all werewolves are basically hippy, nature-loving warriors for Gaea, who hate humans for our world-polluting ways, Glass Walkers are the exception. They’ve embraced humanity, to the point where they happily live inside cities, own computers, hold down jobs, etc. Technically, they’re supposed to be working inside the human system to bring it down the evil Wyrm (the nebulous entity that is corrupting the world, a.ka. Gaia), but most Glass Walkers are really just fans of sleeping in comfortable beds, in rooms with central air. Anyway, in a role-playing game where 93% or so of the characters hate cities, technology, computers, and every other aspect of modern society, having a Glass Walker in the group, offering his/her resources—like a car, and/or access to the internet—is almost essential to accomplishing anything.

3) Silent Striders

In this RPG, the Werewolves are fighting to keep the evil forces of the Wyrm from corrupting the planet and kicking off the apocalypse. Besides the whole “turning-into-a-wolf-or-a-man-or-a-wolf-man” powers, many werewolves gain other mystical powers from accessing the spirit world, called the Umbra. Almost like wizards or mages, the Silent Striders have spent their time studying the Umbra—thus learning bizarre, unique powers that no other werewolves have, but also turning them into spooky, self-absorbed drifters. The most powerful Silent Striders can do crazy stuff, like travel through mirrors, make themselves huge, and more, so they always make a unique contribution to any game of Werewolf.

4) Red Talons

The Red Talons are almost the complete opposite of Glass Walkers; not only do they loathe humanity, they’re almost always wolves, with the ability to turn human (as opposed to the other way around). In fact they dislike humans so much, they absolutely hate being in human form, and avoid it whenever possible. While some Red Talons are happy to murder any human they see (and feel they can get away with), most are a bit more reasonable, which is usually how they get worked into campaigns. If you can manage to create one of these guys, they often bring a fascinating character conflict to any group. Also, they especially hate the bejeezus out of vampires, and that’s always fun.

5) Wendigo

One of two Native American tribes of werewolves, the Wendigo have a chip on their fuzzy shoulders about Europeans colonizing their way onto the continent and bringing the taint of the Wyrm along with them (this distrust actually extends to European-based werewolf tribes, as well). However, most Wendigo agree that the Wyrm is a bigger threat than white people, and choose to focus on that… for now. The Wendigo are great fighters, but also have impressive stealth ability, which basically makes them werewolf ninjas. This is not even slightly a bad thing in this game.

All 14 Werewolf Tribes of Werewolf: The Apocalypse, Ranked

6) Black Furies

The Black Furies are excellent fighters, if not quite as excellent as the Get of Fenris; on the other hand, they aren’t quite as homicidally violent as the Get of Fenris, either, which usually makes them better for the role-playing aspects of the game. The Black Furies are also an all-female tribe of werewolves, who claim to be descended from Amazons, but who—despite the beliefs of both werewolves and real-life Apocalypse players—aren’t man-haters, so much as women-supporters. They do, however, tend to murder most of the male babies born to them, so that limits their game-play value in a few ways, unfortunately.

7) Silver Fangs

In my ranking of Vampire: The Masquerade clans, I put the Ventrue at #1, because they’re the nobility of the vampire world. Similarly, the Silver Fangs are the nobility of the werewolf world—so why are they ranked so low? Mainly because there’s not much of a werewolf political arena. Sure, every few centuries, the heads of the clans may get together and decree a few things, but mainly werewolves hang out by themselves or in small packs. There’s not much for Silver Fangs to do. However, this may be for the best, because for some reason White Wolf decided that the Silver Fangs were also hopelessly inbred, not only weakening them physically, but often making them varying degrees of insane. Stil, if you basically want to play a chaotic neutral werewolf, the Silver Fangs have got you covered.

http://io9.com/all-13-vampire...

8) Children of Gaia

Children of Gaia are peace-loving pacifists, which you might think would make them completely useless in the combat-heay world of Werewolf, except even werewolf pacifists still fly into murderous rages when they see the servants of the Wyrm. It’s all about perspective! Plus, the Children of Gaia are the self-appointed peacekeepers between the various werewolf tribes, most of whom hate each another for one reason or another; this is often a very useful character to add to a Werewolf: The Apocalypse gaming group.

9) Fianna

These Gaelic werewolves are, essentially, bards. They sing, they dance, they wander around and have a happy-go-lucky, deeply romantic attitude that, basically, doesn’t match with the tone of the other werewolves—or even, really, the game itself. About the best you can say for them is that if you don’t play your Fianna as obnoxiously extroverted, you’re basically playing a pretty normal werewolf. Please note that the Fianna are pretty terrible, but are still only ranked #9 in this list.

10) Uktena

The other Native American werewolf tribe. The good news is that the Uktena are the very best at hunting and destroying the Wyrm and its servants. The bad news is that this has brought the Uktena in contact with the Wyrm a great deal, to the point where it seems to be infecting them. The Uktena are trying to use the Wyrm’s dark powers against it, but this freaks the other werewolf clans out. Then there’s the other unfortunate news: The Uktena are the “primitive” mysticism-obsessed Native American tribe. Imagine a bunch of lycanthropic Johnny Depps as Tonto from Disney’s terrible Lone Ranger movie (along with the upsetting racist overtones) and you basically have the Uktena.

All 14 Werewolf Tribes of Werewolf: The Apocalypse, Ranked

11) Shadow Lords

Preserving Gaia is secondary to the Shadow Lords; their first goal is to wrest the power of the Werewolf world from the Silver Fangs. These werewolves are very political, manipulative, and conniving, which makes them extremely unlike any other Tribe. Unfortunately, as I mentioned when describing the Silver Fangs, werewolves don’t really have much of a political structure for the Shadow Lords to secretly plot to take over. In the end, unless the game master has worked up a very specific story utilizing them, Shadow Lords don’t end up being Machavellian schemers, as much as paranoid assholes.

12) Stargazers

As mentioned above, Werewolf is a game primarily about rage-fueled, fur-covered murder machines, killing all the evil things they can get their claws and fangs on. Werewolf also describes the Stargazer Tribe as “calm” and “introverted,” with a penchant for astrology—none of which makes you a better or more interesting werewolf. About the best you can say about them is that they’re not actively bad—just immensely boring.

13) Black Spiral Dancers

These are werewolves that have given themselves over to the Wyrm. They are as evil as any D&D monster race, and Werewolf: The Apocalypse wouldn’t even discuss the possibility of a player-character choosing to be one until years after the game’s debut. That’s because there’s not a lot of nuance to being a Black Spiral Dancer; you are evil as hell, and every other werewolf wants to murder you on sight. Turns out it’s hard to go on an adventure when you’re getting murdered every 10 minutes of gameplay.

14) Bone Gnawers

Like the Glass Walkers, the Bone Gnawers have embraced humanity and their cities. Unlike the Glass Walkers, however, the Bone Gnawers are really bad at embracing humanity, and thus have all ended up as homeless people. Seriously, this is a race of werewolves who spend their time sifting through people’s trash for food and sleeping in the streets. I don’t want to blow your mind, but this is not as much fun to play as you might initially think. Basically, Bone Gnawers are Glass Walkers with none of the skills, technology or benefits, and also all the other characters think you’re bad at being a werewolf.


Contact the author at rob@io9.com. Follow him on Twitter at @robbricken.

Art, from top to bottom: Matt Wagner, Steve Prescott, and Dan Brereton.

Serial Killer Drama Wicked City Delivers a Full Dose of 80s Kitsch

$
0
0

Serial Killer Drama Wicked City Delivers a Full Dose of 80s Kitsch

ABC’s new serial-killer drama, Wicked City hopes to capitalize on your 1980s nostalgia. It’s set on Los Angeles’ Sunset Strip in the early 80s, and it’s chock full of Billy Idol. But is it worth your time? We’ve seen the pilot, and here are our spoiler-free impressions.

The “80s Los Angeles” setting is the main selling point of Wicked City—did we mention Billy Idol? The pilot contains nearly every hit from Billy Idol’s first two albums, and culminates at a “Billy Idol concert” (in which the actor playing the singer is only filmed in glimpses). So far, the pop overload seems appropriate, given the fact that the main character, Kent (played by Ed Westwick), is a serial killer whose preferred hunting ground is the Whisky A Go Go, and whose habits include calling radio stations to make corny dedications to his intended victims.

Kent murders young women for reasons as-yet unknown, and he does it with flair, but he’s not completely evil. He loves kids, and he’d love to settle down if he could just find the right woman. In the pilot, he meets single mom Betty (Erika Christensen), who only appears to be totally wholesome, and it’s match made in hell.

Wicked City’s first episode has a few characters who aren’t what they seem to be, and we won’t spoil the reveals here (the Kent-Betty love connection is completely apparent in the show’s advertising). But instead of just sticking with the serial killer plot line, Wicked City is also ... yes ... a police procedural, with Jeremy Sisto as a brash homicide detective who’s none too pleased about being saddled with a new partner (Gabriel Luna) whom he already loathes. Sisto’s character has gained fame for nabbing the infamous Hillside Stranglers—apparently he’s a supercop, despite some weirdly bungled police work in the pilot—and Kent sends “messages” to him specifically for this reason.

So Wicked City will likely pivot on two relationships: Kent and Betty (who are interesting) and Kent and Detective Jack Roth (who, ugh, we’ve seen the evil nemesis thing before). It also has a subplot about a wannabe rock n’ roll journalist (Taissa Farmiga) who finds herself dangerously tangled in a series of convenient coincidences. Hopefully this character will provide a unique angle on the show’s events, because otherwise Wicked City is in danger of being drawn in too-broad, too-familiar strokes.

But at least Wicked City doesn’t seem to be taking itself tooooo seriously. Pagers and beepers go off at opportune and dramatic moments; Kent’s favorite turn of phrase is “Kill me!” (instead of “Sue me!”); and the hair-metal ragers that play a Whisky show early in the episode are “Mickey Ratt” (which, as a reader points out below, was a real band of the era!) We’ll take more of that, please.

Top image by ABC/Eric McCandless

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

$
0
0

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

You’ve seen a painting of Norbert Grupe. A heavy, creased brow and shoulder-length hair framing a frightening scowl, the massive work hung in the fictional Manhattan Museum of Art in Ghostbusters II. When the medieval sorcerer pictured within the painting begins to physically manifest, it is on the Ghostbusters to rally the city’s positive emotions and trap him back in the painting forever. Most people will only ever know Norbert Grupe as Vigo the Carpathian. But Norbert Grupe—a Nazi soldier’s son, boxer, professional wrestler, failed actor, criminal, and miserable human being who was never so happy as when he could make someone hate him—was once a man so beautiful that other men wanted to paint him.

One painting of Norbert was done by a brothel owner named Wolli Köhler, a friend from the days when they were young men living in the St. Pauli quarter of the city of Hamburg. Köhler painted Norbert Grupe as Jesus, with long flowing blonde hair below a gold crown. The painting shows “the devastated prince looking at his devastated world,” Köhler described it. “It is the broken prince. He is standing before his demise.”

Norbert did not meet his own demise with nearly so much grace. In 2004, he went to Rona Weber’s office in Santa Monica, Calif., and sat outside on a concrete flowerbed. Around eight in the morning, Rona looked out the window and saw her much older half-brother sitting there. Sitting and sitting. This wasn’t the first time he’d done this, and Rona wondered what the hell was going on with Norbert this time.

“I was afraid to go downstairs because I was afraid he was going to follow me up,” she told me.

Rona never wanted to introduce Norbert to her co-workers because he might say something to embarrass her. He was the kind of guy who would say or do what he wanted to whomever he wanted.

Years earlier, Rona said, she had been told she might not just be Norbert’s half-sister, but his daughter as well. Norbert had raped his father’s young wife, her father told her, and she could have been the result.

Eventually, Rona walked downstairs. When he saw her Norbert told her, in German, their native language, to “Come here and sit for a few minutes.” Reluctantly, she did. He told her he had prostate cancer and he was going to die.

One day in April 2004, Rona got a phone call from a friend of Norbert’s. He said that her brother was dead, and that before he died Norbert had instructed him to deliver her a message one month after his death. The message was, simply: “Touché.”

Rona knew exactly what the message meant.


You have to start with the father, King Richard.

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

Men wanted to paint Richard Grupe, too. One was done by Steve “Strong” Cepello, an artist and professional wrestler and Richard’s best friend for years. Strong’s painting (left) shows a bearded Richard stoking a fire in preparation for shaping metal. It is Richard as swordsmith. Strong told me, “I’ve never known anyone who had a more profound and lasting effect on my life.”

With a 35-year age difference between the two, Strong’s love for Richard was like a son’s for a father. Strong went to see Richard in the hospital when he was dying, and held his hand, asking Richard to squeeze if he could hear him. “He did,” Strong told me. “[He] held on very long and tight that last visit.”

Richard Grupe was born in Hamburg in 1915, during the Great War in which millions of Germans would die. His policeman father was so base that he would eat two pounds of raw bacon at a time, and so alcoholic that young Richard would smell him before he walked in the door. I can smell that papa is home, he would tell his mother. His father would drink so much that he would shit his pants, and young Richard would have to wash him.

“What he drank in schnapps and beer, we could swim in that,” Richard told a reporter for the Long Beach Independent-Press-Telegram in 1974. When his mother couldn’t take it anymore, she left and was replaced by a stepmother who was brutally cruel to Richard.

“Just a shitty childhood,” Rona Weber, Richard’s daughter, told me. In June, I had a long phone conversation with Rona, now 55 years old, during which she told me how much she loved and respected her father. When she was a young girl, Richard would tell her all about his own childhood. “I would sit at the end of his bed,” she said, “and listen to all these stories, and it was incredible. I’ve kept it to myself all these years.”

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

As an adult, Richard would become larger than life. He was 6’3” and at least 227 pounds of mostly muscle. An old photo of him from Venice Beach (left) shows him looming over Arnold Schwarzenegger. He looked like he just stepped off a Viking longboat, with his disheveled beard, blue eyes, blonde locks, enormous chin, and nose that looked like an unpeeled potato. “He was so strong he could do a headstand, take his arms away, and do neck exercises,” said Rona. “I mean he was massive. One handshake or a tap on your back and you’d start seeing stars.”

But at age 15 in Germany, with a drunken father and wicked stepmother, Richard merely wanted to flee his home, which first meant earning the money to buy clothes and size 16 shoes. He found a job as an apprentice at a bakery, eventually earning five and a half dollars a week to make bread and cakes.

Once while riding a bike to deliver bread, carrying a basket on his back with the bread sticking straight out, he heard a voice say “Hey, come here.” Four SS officers were sticking their heads out of an open-roof Mercedes, and Richard shook with fear. Tall and blonde with blue eyes, Richard knew exactly what they wanted.

He ran back to the bakery and told his boss the SS were trying to recruit him, but the baker managed to arrange it so that teenage Richard didn’t have to join the Nazi war machine then and there. That would come later.

While apprenticing, Richard began training as a boxer behind the bakery. According to a story he told to Rona, one day the training room door was left open a crack when Hermann Göring, one of the most powerful people in Nazi Germany, and his wife walked by. Göring peeked through the door and saw Richard’s impressive boxing skills. He came around front and told the owner of the bakery to bring out that massive blonde boy.

Richard came out front and Göring asked for some bread. Scared to death, Richard grabbed a loaf and handed it to Göring and his wife, just as the three of them simultaneously noticed something big and brown sitting on it. They all knew it was a cockroach, but Richard also knew what could happen if he sold Hermann Göring bad bread. “What is that?” asked Göring. “Oh, just a raisin,” answered Richard, and he grabbed back the bread and bit right down on the roach and started chewing. Göring, who would later be convicted of crimes against humanity, told Richard he was impressed with his integrity.

At 18, at the urging of his father, Richard joined the local police force in Hamburg. But the police at that time acted largely as a front for the military to work around the size limits placed on the German armed forces by the Treaty of Versailles. Richard soon had to choose which military unit to join. He chose the air force, which was not yet called the Luftwaffe. Years later, the Independent-Press-Telegram reporter asked Richard what he thought about the Nazi party’s rise. “I tell you, I was 18.” Richard answered. “Ask some 18-year-old kid here what he thinks of Truman.”

He added, “I was never a Nazi. I never joined the party. I was not in the Hitler Youth … I was a pastryman.”

While training to be a soldier in Hitler’s army, he continued to train as a boxer, and in 1938, he won the armed forces heavyweight championship. Richard was standing naked in his dressing room after the bout when a general walked in. “Officer Grupe,” the general said, “in the name of the Marshall Hermann Göring, I congratulate you. You were great!”

By the start of the war, Grupe was living the good life, considering he was a soldier and his country was at war with several world superpowers. He was housed in “near-luxury” with his wife, serving as a guard at the Hamburg airport, performing boxing exhibitions, and making money. His boxing prowess had made him a celebrity. But in 1942, Grupe was transferred to a Luftwaffe division headed to the Eastern Front, where hundreds of thousands of German soldiers were dying fighting the Soviets.

He and his small unit did everything they could to extend their trip from Hamburg to the front. They forged requisition orders with later dates, missed trains on purpose, and bribed conductors. It took 14 days for them to finally reach the forward lines. Just before reporting for duty they went into a makeshift barbershop, where a German corporal getting his hair cut recognized Richard. Four years earlier, this soldier had seen Richard fight Olympic champion Herbert Runge at Deutschlandhalle, an arena in Berlin inaugurated by Adolf Hitler. (Richard lost, but would defeat Runge 10 years later in a professional bout.) The corporal felt bad for Richard, who clearly wanted anything but to go to his near-certain death at the hands of the Russians. He signed a reprieve form, and that same day, Richard Grupe and his men were back in Germany, carrying packets of food normally reserved for those who had been fighting on the front for a year. Richard’s fame had probably saved the lives of all seven men in the unit.

He was next sent to Buchenwald, the notorious concentration camp, though he claimed in his 1974 interview that he didn’t realize what was going on around him. “I have no much luck with the Jewish people,” he said a bit cryptically, in his broken English. “But I never hated them. Never hated them. I’m very sorry for what Hitler did to the Jewish people.”

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

At the end of the war, Richard was captured by the British and spent a few weeks in a prison camp and then on a work farm. After his release, he boxed professionally from 1946 to 1952, earning a record of 26 wins (20 by knockout), 8 losses, and 6 draws, with a career that included defeating American Al Hoosman (left), losing a bid for the German heavyweight championship in front of 40,000 people, and fighting in the first postwar international bout held in Germany (a win against Spaniard Paco Bueno).

In the 1950s, Richard began touring Europe as a professional wrestler. He went on the road in Italy with Primo Carnera—aka the Ambling Alp, a 6’6” former world heavyweight boxing champion turned wrestler—in an act where they pretended to be rivals and drew packed houses. They traveled in a small Fiat with the canvas sunroof down, navigating the mountain roads of Italy with two giant heads poking out the top.


Before Richard Grupe went from minor German celebrity to minor international celebrity, he had two sons (below): Norbert, by a girlfriend whom Richard would never marry, and then Winfried, by Richard’s first wife. (Rona would come later, by a second wife.) Norbert was born in Berlin in 1940, entering life like his father, during a war. Norbert never spoke to his mother, but as a kid he would go to her home and sit outside on the stairs for hours. “She would peek out the curtain and he would never leave,” Rona said. “He couldn’t understand why his own mother wouldn’t talk to him.”

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

After the war, Richard and his wife ran a successful restaurant, pastry shop, and bar in Berlin. Norbert was envious of his brother Winfried—who, unlike Norbert, had his real mother in the house—and he feuded with his father from a very young age. Norbert wasn’t allowed in the family’s club, where people would come on weekends in their finest clothes to drink and dance. In retaliation for this slight, Norbert once shit in a brown paper sack and threw it on the sidewalk out front to disgust the customers.

As Norbert grew from a child into a man, he worked as a meatpacker, a stevedore, a butcher, a longshoreman, and a waiter. Around 1960, Richard emigrated to the U.S. to further his professional wrestling career, and Norbert soon followed him to California. By that time, Norbert was already a formidably sized man in his own right, and joined his father in the ring.

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

Richard and Norbert fought as tag-team partners called The Vikings, wearing shiny gladiator-esque outfits with ball-squeezing pants and horned helmets. They wrestled at the Los Angeles Coliseum and Madison Square Garden. Later, they were the Von Homburg brothers, the German heels paid to lose to the American faces, taking home less than a hundred dollars a night between the two of them.

As a wrestler, Norbert Grupe thought his last name, when pronounced correctly, sounded too much like “groupie,” so he started going by “Prince” Wilhelm von Homburg, which sounded like a good bad German name. He paid five dollars for a boxing license under the new name and would use it for the rest of his career. He would later regret using the name in Hollywood, saying, “In an industry that was ruled by the Jews, it was really dumb to call myself ‘von Homburg.’ Who do they think that is? A Nazi nobleman.” It didn’t help that, as a wrestler, Norbert sometimes wore a monocle and German eagle on his chest to show that he was the enemy.

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

It was in wrestling that Norbert learned how to be a showman and project a cocky bad-boy persona that both feeds upon and taunts the crowds. That provocative charisma would make him famous when he switched over to boxing in 1962. Richard had trained Norbert in boxing since the boy was 10, and by the time Norbert finished school, he had already had several amateur bouts. He won 16 of 21 professional fights in the U.S., fighting all over California as a light heavyweight before traveling to Oklahoma City and New York. He was, according to a Der Spiegel reporter, at one point ranked as high as seventh in the world. Then he set his sights on his home country.

In 1964, the Prince took his career to Germany. With the braggart persona he had gained both from wrestling and from studying Cassius Clay’s rise, Norbert made a splash with the local media and shocked the staid German boxing establishment. He grew his beautiful blonde hair over his ears, gaining himself the nickname “the Beatle Boxer.”

Norbert gave German boxing fans something they had never seen. He wore fur coats, smoked cigars, and taunted referees, trainers, and the crowds. He posed in the ring and he walked around town like he owned it. He spat at the crowd. “People still tell me I was the first boxer they ever went to see,” he said years later. He also, at first, won, despite occasionally moving up to heavyweight when the purses were bigger, taking on opponents 25 pounds heavier.

In 1966, Norbert was disqualified in the 11th round of his biggest match to date, for the European light heavyweight championship. He had knocked down Italian Piero Del Papa in the first round, the first man ever to do so, and he did it with what he called “Richard’s right,” acknowledging the training he got from his father. Norbert had looked like the better fighter for most of the match, but in the 11th, the French ref declared what looks now like a subtle head movement to be an illegal headbutt and called the match for Del Papa. Norbert would later say, “I was the best thing German boxing had back then, and then I had a 70-year-old Frenchman as the referee. We all know what the Germans did to his parents and his sister.” The match would haunt Norbert for the rest of his life.

“It drives me nuts just to think about it,” he told filmmaker Gerd Kroske, who made an excellent documentary about Norbert in 2002 called Der Boxprinz (The Boxing Prince). In the film, Kroske and Norbert watch the Del Papa match together and Norbert stares at his young self throwing hard rights and taking even harder ones.

Kroske’s film also chronicles the darker side of Norbert’s life from that era, including an infamous TV interview that Norbert gave in 1969 at the tail end of his boxing career. After getting TKO’d and generally humiliated in Berlin by Oscar Bonavena, an Argentinian knockout artist who had gone the distance with Joe Frazier two matches earlier, Norbert was a guest on a German interview show. Host Rainer Günzler started off by asking Norbert, in German, “How do you feel after those five knockdowns last night?” The camera is close up on Norbert’s face, his blonde mustache and thick lips, and his angry eyes. Norbert sarcastically asks, “That was last night?”

Then Günzler says, “You injured your ankle during one of the knockdowns. Did you stumble?” Norbert laughs and looks away, ignoring the small TV man’s taunt. Günzler asks another question, and Norbert looks straight at him and says … nothing. He licks his lips and stares at the host. For the next minute and a half, Norbert refuses to respond to any of Günzler’s questions and comments. It is not boring television. The explosion obviously happening behind Norbert’s smile, and the fact that he could get up at any second and rip this man’s head off, makes it riveting. His sister, who many years later saw a recording of the interview, told me that “Norbert kept his cool … I could see that he was about to go off. That guy came close to getting choked out.” Kroske told me that Norbert’s silence became iconic in Germany: “All men over 50 years old know about this interview.”

Kroske’s film shows Norbert watching the Del Papa fight from three decades earlier, and raging about the unfairness of the headbutt-induced disqualification. “Jesus, it wasn’t the title I was after,” he says. “It was the cash!”

If Norbert had won and gotten the chance for an even bigger bout, he says, “I’m sure I would have bet all my winnings on my opponent. And I would have gone down convincingly and made a terrible scene. I’d planned the whole thing.”

After losing his next three fights, Norbert retired from boxing in 1970 at age 30. By that time, he was well established in the underground scene in Hamburg, specifically the St. Pauli Kiez, the red light district in which he lived. He hung out with Hell’s Angels and pimps who flocked to his toughness and his flamboyant style. For Der Boxprinz, Kroske went back to St. Pauli to speak to some of Norbert’s old friends. In one scene, a boxer named Jürgen Blin—who beat Norbert in one of his final fights, and who was good enough to fight (and get knocked out by) Muhammad Ali in 1971—tells Kroske that Norbert was the most talented boxer in Germany but that alcohol and drugs were his downfall. “He electrified people,” Blin said. “But he ruined himself by the way he lived.”

Kroske interviews a friend of Norbert’s named Stefan Hentschel, a notorious pimp who takes the filmmaker down a busy-by-night street in St Pauli. “Norbert was the first or last person you’d want to have as a friend,” he says. Hentschel says that Norbert could have owned the city and been filthy rich, except that he was always used by other people and couldn’t hold on to his money. “Nobody really loved him,” he says. “An extreme guy ahead of his time.”

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

During the filming of the documentary, a beggar approaches Hentschel, a former boxer himself. Hentschel punches the man in the face and walks on. A few years later, Hentschel hanged himself from a hook meant to hold a punching bag. These were Norbert’s friends.

Wolli Köhler, the genial brothel owner who made Norbert’s painting, tells Kroske how Norbert would coerce people into paying their bills at the brothel.

“Everything he did, he had to overdo,” says another friend. “Norbert’s life is one of the most dangerous ones I’ve known.” His dangerous life landed Norbert in prison for dealing hashish to an undercover cop. In an on-camera prison interview, Norbert looks sad, and stares off into the prison yard. Norbert claims to be a scapegoat, and an old friend I spoke with said the same. He hung with the wrong crowd, and someone had to go down.


Throughout his boxing career, Norbert had taken bit parts in movies and television shows, usually billed as Wilhelm von Homburg. In a 1964 episode of Gunsmoke called “The Promoter,” he played a bare-knuckle boxer named Otto who is offered a large bribe to throw a fight.

“Young man, you ever stop to think about what you’re gonna do for a living when you get a little older?” the town doctor asks Otto before the match.

“I’m too busy trying to stay alive in my youth, doc,” Otto says.

After a few years behind bars, Norbert tried to make a go of it as an actor. German director Werner Herzog saw something special in the ex-boxer he’d watched fight as a young man and cast Norbert as a bullying pimp in Stroszek, a 1977 film about an ex-con trying to leave Germany for a better life in the U.S. “The Prince was so clear and intelligent and radiated, at the same time, a feeling of danger that absolutely terrified me,” Herzog told Kroske. “He was almost like a German Mike Tyson.”

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

Norbert caught a break a decade later with a bit part as one of Hans Gruber’s German-speaking goons in Die Hard. After bazooka-ing an armored police car, Norbert’s character dies hard off-screen when John McClane throws plastic explosives down an elevator shaft.

Finally, in 1989, Norbert caught his biggest break. Nearing 50, he had developed that classic retired boxer’s face, and with his long light hair and weathered appearance he had the perfect look to play a Germanic bad guy, perhaps one who had dabbled in the occult. He was cast for the role of Vigo, the Scourge of Carpathia, the Sorrow of Moldavia, in Ghostbusters II. The character’s full name was Vigo Von Homburg Deutschendorf, an homage to the name he had chosen for ring and screen.

It was in many ways a dream role. He was the primary villain in the big-budget sequel to one of the 1980s’ most beloved hits, and he got to be the embodiment of scenery-chewing malice. “On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood!” he growled. He got to hear Hollywood’s most respected smart-ass, Bill Murray, tell his character, “You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal.”

But the role came with major caveats. For one, the man once so beautiful that a pimp needed to paint him would spend most of the movie as a venomous but inanimate painting (actually a photograph creatively designed to look like one). Only at the end would Norbert get to show any life, and even that came with limitations. Norbert’s speech at that time was slurred and indistinct, hardly the stuff of Hollywood. After filming, all of his lines were dubbed with Max von Sydow’s much more distinguished baritone. “Poor Wilhelm von Homburg,” an FX artist who filmed behind-the-scenes footage wrote on Facebook years later. “It seems no one told him his voice was replaced. He found out firsthand at the screening and soon after stormed out of the theater.”

Norbert’s last notable role was in Diggstown, a James Woods and Louis Gossett Jr. boxing caper. It was a flop. Norbert played Charles Macum Diggs, a vegetative ex-boxer who had been cheated out of his fortune and career. He didn’t speak and barely moved in the film, so in a way it wasn’t much different a role than Vigo, except that the character more closely mirrored the real life of the ex-boxer who had been, or thought he had been, cheated out of his fortune and career.


Before he came to the U.S., Richard Grupe met and married a woman named Ursula, with whom he had a child, Rona Grupe, later Rona Weber. When she was five, Ursula left, and so Rona was raised for a while by an aunt in Germany before moving to the U.S. to live with Richard a block off Venice Beach in a small, filthy apartment filled with rescued dogs, as many as 14 at a time. He’d rescue a dog on a Tuesday and call it Tuesday. “We had two beach towels, and a shower with a mop in it all the time,” Rona remembers, “because he was always wiping off dog pee.”

Richard taught Rona to eat healthy and to exercise, making her wake up at four in the morning to run on the beach, training her like he had Norbert. “He was the tree stump. He was my anchor,” Rona told me. “He had so much class and integrity.”

“Richard was respected and revered by the beach community,” Steve Strong said. “Sort of the ‘mayor.’” Richard and Strong met at the famous Venice weight pen, and they soon became friends, training together at Joe Gold’s World Gym and hanging around people like “Superstar” Billy Graham, “The Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff, and Olympic champion and actor Johnny Weissmuller. A guy named Arnold Schwarzenegger would work out there too.

“Arnold was deathly afraid of Richard!” Strong said. “He didn’t want anyone around that could upstage him….Never saw a man turn as gray as Arnold would when Richard entered the gym.”

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

Richard had little money outside of a small pension from his time in the German military, but when he did have some extra cash after paying the $150 rent, he’d invite homeless people from the beach to come over for breakfast. They called him King Richard or Richard the Lionheart, and Richard was beloved in Venice Beach. The former German soldier who had been stationed at Buchenwald could be seen drinking coffee with the old women at the boardwalk Jewish community center.

Like Norbert, Richard did a bit of acting and modeling, starring in cigarette and beer ads. He played a German townsman in Young Frankenstein and Viking Consul Number Three in Island at the Top of the World, both roles uncredited. He signed Strong up with his talent agent and helped him get similar work. “He opened an entire new world to me,” Strong said.

For part of the time that Rona was living with her father, Strong—whose finishing move was “the big elbow,” later borrowed by Hulk Hogan—shared the apartment with them. Richard, then long retired from wrestling himself, would sometimes act as Strong’s manager (below) at local venues. “He was acting Sergeant at arms,” Strong told me in a long, passionate email. “We hit it off instantly as we looked very much like father and son, and shared such physical backgrounds.”

The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

In Strong, Richard had found the son he couldn’t find in Norbert. According to Rona, Richard and Norbert, despite both living in L.A. and even in the same small apartment building for a time, didn’t talk for many years.

Strong had little interaction with Norbert, saying that Richard’s son tended to hang out with an “alternative Hollywood crowd” that was “into the extreme of excess.” The few times they did meet, Strong said he felt uncomfortable around Norbert. “When he was in the company of Richard and Rona, I could feel the oxygen sucked out of the room.

“He was a fine athlete as well, but as with us all when the noise of the crowd is no longer a part of your life, it’s a hard pill to swallow. Some can deal, others can’t.”

By the end of his life, most of Norbert’s friends had abandoned him, and a lot of that had to do with money. “He was flat broke,” Rona said. “He could make money like you wouldn’t believe, but he spent it like water. Women and drugs, squeaking out the rent, borrowing money from people. ... None of his friends ever wanted anything to do with him once they got a good dose of him.”

Walter Staudinger, one of Norbert’s oldest friends, said that Norbert “was not happy when somebody liked him.” He lived to rile people up and make them mad, he said. When Gerd Kroske decided to begin research for the documentary, Norbert’s whereabouts were unknown. Kroske did finally find him in L.A., but he had to fly out three times before getting Norbert to agree to the film. “He had giant mood swings,” Kroske said. “He could be very friendly, and in the same moment he could be disgusting.”

I emailed Michael C. Gross, one of the executive producers of Ghostbusters II, to get a sense of why Norbert was cast for the film. I learned nothing I hadn’t heard already, because he wrote exactly one sentence: “I can only say he was a crude bigoted asshole.”

Norbert’s friend since they were teens, a man named Manfred who also appeared in Kroske’s documentary, seemed to think that Norbert’s time in prison had a strong effect on him. From his home in Santa Barbara, Manfred told me that Norbert loved the outdoors, and hated to be locked in. When he got out and came to the U.S., Norbert got a convertible so he could feel the open air when he drove.

Manfred said he and Norbert would fight because of the latter’s drug use. Manfred even kicked him out of his house once because of it. Norbert apologized. “Then he got mad at me,” Manfred said, “and I got mad at him, but we were friends so we made up again. He’ll always be my friend.”

Patricia Nell Warren—the author and journalist known for The Front Runner, one of the most popular gay love stories of all time—knew Norbert in the early 1990s, and wrote a beautiful essay about him in 2004. In it, she explained that many of Norbert’s friendships were more than that, but he was not the type who was going to settle down.

“Privately, if he talked about his sex life, Norbert made it clear that the Beatle Boxer had taken on all contenders, regardless of gender,” Warren wrote. “But we never saw Norbert with girlfriends or boyfriends in tow. He seemed to be the perennial loner. After all, he’d already been ‘out’ as the ultimate renegade, so tattooing the word BISEXUAL on his forehead was not something he’d rush to do at this late date. Besides, homophobic Hollywood of the ‘90s—with its panics about AIDS death—was not a place where open gayness would be rewarded.”

As a weed-smoking, bisexual strongman in a time before that was acceptable by mainstream standards, perhaps Norbert felt distanced from the ultra-adrenaline-fueled world of boxing and wrestling that had made him famous. Or maybe the refusal of his own mother to talk to him pushed him to distrust and hate other people. Or maybe he was just an asshole.


The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian

After having a stroke, Richard Grupe died on August 5, 1988, less than a year before the release of Ghostbusters II. Rona (left) called Strong that night to tell him Richard had died. Richard was cremated, and his best friend Steve Strong, his only daughter Rona, and his ex-wife Ursula, released his ashes along with three roses on the beach in Marina del Rey, where Richard had liked swimming with his dogs. “The world was certainly less for his passing,” Strong said. “He is legend.”

Days earlier, when Richard was still alive but unresponsive in the hospital, Norbert had walked into the room while Rona, crying, was sitting with their dying father. “‘Why are you wasting your time here with this asshole?’” Norbert asked her. Norbert knew that Rona meant everything to Richard and Richard meant everything to Rona, and he also knew where Rona was the most vulnerable.

“Are you kidding me?” Rona told me she said. “You’re talking like this in front of my father?”

Norbert then said, “‘That’s not your father.’”

“I saw [Richard’s] eye open when Norbert said that,” Rona said. “And he was in a coma.”

When Rona was in her mid-teens, she told me, Richard had shared an almost unfathomable story. He sat her down and said: “‘I don’t want you to go crazy …but there’s a good possibility that you could be Norbert’s daughter.”

At some point in 1959, Richard told Rona, he had been away from home, probably on a wrestling trip, and Ursula, his wife, was home alone. Ursula was much younger than Richard, about the same age as Norbert. “My mother was gorgeous, and Norbert was in love with her,” Rona told me. The night Richard was away, Norbert climbed the fire escape into the house and raped Ursula. The next year, Rona was born.

That’s what Rona says her father told her, and that’s what she told me.

Yet Rona, despite calling Norbert “evil” and despite his rape of her mother, never completely pushed him away, and even admitted to admiring Norbert. I asked her why she kept him in her life—if only at a safe distance. She told me that Norbert had a charisma that captured her and almost everyone he knew. He was funny, she said, like her father was funny, and like her father, he walked like a boxer and talked like a boxer. She missed her father, her tree stump, her anchor, and Norbert was the closest thing left. “It was worth the trauma of the day to deal with this clown,” she said, “just so I could see a little Richard.”

Norbert spent the last years of his life effectively homeless, alternately sleeping at the YMCA, crashing on couches, or living out of his van.

When his prostate cancer began to spread, he had nowhere else to go so he went to Walter Staudinger’s house in Mexico to spend his last days. The cancer had run from his pelvis up his spine and into his brain. “When he was coming to my house he knew that he will die,” Staudinger told me. Norbert was almost alone. Few would mourn him the way they did Richard.

Rona did not forget what Norbert had said to her in 1988, as she sat at Richard’s deathbed. So when Richard did finally succumb, Rona didn’t tell her brother. “I didn’t call Norbert when my dad died,” she said. “I didn’t think he deserved it. He didn’t love him.”

It took weeks for Norbert to find out, and he resented Rona for keeping the news from him. All those years later, even to his own deathbed, Norbert still carried that grudge.

I wonder if Norbert actually wanted to be Rona’s father. She said he never believed the results of the blood test she got while Richard was in a coma, results that confirmed that Richard was indeed her biological father. For whatever reason, Norbert still fantasized that it was him. And so when he showed up outside her office that morning and sat on the flowerbed until she came out–just like he had sat on his mother’s doorstep as a child–and told Rona he had prostate cancer and that he was going to die, I wonder if in his mind he was saying goodbye to a daughter.

In the spring of 2004, Rona got the phone call from Norbert’s friend. He told her that Norbert had been dead for a month. At Norbert’s request, he had waited that long before calling, about as long as it had taken him to learn of Richard’s death. That’s what Norbert meant by “touché.” Even from the grave, Norbert Grupe wanted people to hate him.


Shaun Raviv is a freelance journalist based in Atlanta, and author of The Killers of Swaziland.

Photos 1 and 10 courtesy of Steve “Strong” Cepello. Photos 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11 courtesy of Rona Weber. Photo 7 via United Artists. Photo 8 via 20th Century Fox.

Top image by Jim Cooke, source photos via Columbia Pictures and Getty.


A Man is His Son's Uncle, Thanks to a Vanished Twin

$
0
0

A Man is His Son's Uncle, Thanks to a Vanished Twin

Last week at Buzzfeed News, Dan Vergano described the surprising results of a paternity test–the first known case of a man fathering the son of a brother he didn’t know existed. It’s an example of a rare genetic condition known as chimerism.

It all comes down to basic elementary-school biology: fraternal twins happen when a woman releases two eggs and they’re fertilized by two different sperm. But sometimes, very rarely, those twins fuse early in their development. Only one baby is born, and since that’s the normal state of affairs for humans, no one even notices.

These people are called chimeras, and their bodies are built of both their own and their twin’s cells. They may never know some of their tissues contain cells that have different genomes. But if the chimerism happens to include their gonads, they can get a bizarre surprise when they have children. Standard paternity or maternity tests will show that their kids aren’t theirs.

The Buzzfeed story comes from Barry Starr, one of the geneticists involved with the case. The man’s son was born with the help of IVF, but an at-home paternity test showed that the man wasn’t the father. The fertility clinic insisted that they’d done the procedure correctly, using his sperm.

That was when the couple approached Starr, who suggested they test the father and son with a direct-to-consumer genetic ancestry test sold by the startup firm 23andMe. The results of those tests came back late last year. Bizarrely, their results said that the man was his son’s uncle.

“That was kind of a eureka moment,” said Starr. At that point, he realized they might be dealing with a chimera.

Although they’re born at the same time, fraternal twins are no more closely related than any other pair of siblings. If some of the vanished twin’s cells had built the man’s testes, they might also be the source for some of his sperm. Later testing showed that about 10% of the man’s sperm carried his brother’s genes.

[BuzzFeed News]

Image from Mike Licht via Flickr | CC BY 2.0


Contact the author at diane@io9.com.

Where The Hell is Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Force Awakens?

$
0
0

Where The Hell is Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Force Awakens?

One person was conspicuously absent from last week’s final poster and trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Luke Skywalker is becoming perhaps the most central mystery about Episode VII. The only surprise is that it’s taken so long to start asking: Where is Luke?

Warning: Some spoilers and a lot of speculation ahead...

When Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy was trying to convince J.J. Abrams to direct The Force Awakens, she said it was one question that hooked him. She asked Abrams, “Who is Luke Skywalker?” He got chills, and agreed to do the movie. But that’s also a question that fans have been asking since the end of Return of the Jedi. Luke’s actions have always been the crux of what a post-Jedi Star Wars universe would look like.

So, there’s your simple, clean, non-spoiler explanation for Luke’s absence on the poster and trailer: Including even a glimpse of him would give away too much about the larger plot. But let’s dig deeper.

Before we knew there was going to actually be an Episode VII, the prevailing theory about Luke’s journey was he would train his Force-sensitive sister, Leia, to be a Jedi and together the two of them would begin to train a new legion of Jedi, led by the kids of Han and Leia. Why did we all think that? Because that’s what happens in the Expanded Universe stories, such as the The Thrawn Trilogy, written by Timothy Zahn.

“Expanded Universe” is a term for books, games, comics and more that took place in the Star Wars universe and were released after Return of the Jedi. George Lucas gave many of these stories his seal of approval. And Zahn’s three book series, published from 1991 to 1993, was pretty much considered the definitive Sequel Trilogy by fans, who believed these were Luke, Leia and Han’s stories after Jedi.

Where The Hell is Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Force Awakens?

However, when Disney bought Lucasfilm, they reclassified the entire “Expanded Universe” as “Legends,” and said none of it actually “happened” as far as the new films are concerned. In fact, ever since the Episode VII announcement was made in 2012, the people working on the film have been adamant in saying they were not going to make any use of the Expanded Universe stories, whatsoever. How could fans get excited for a movie based on a book that has been in circulation for 20 years? There would be no surprises. So the EU was tossed out.

That being the case, you almost have to expect things from the Expanded Universe are specifically not going to happen in the new movies. Or, at the very least, they’ll be changed greatly. The latest Force Awakens trailer only reinforces this view. We now know that the young generation—Rey, Finn etc.—have only heard of the Jedi as distant mythology. That surely suggests Luke has not become a prominent figure in the universe.

The prevailing theory among fans is that, in The Force Awakens, Luke Skywalker is in hiding. We’ll explore why in a second, but this makes a ton of sense if you reject the Expanded Universe stories. With Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda dead, Luke is likely the last Jedi, and this is the first time he’s never had another Jedi to talk to. (Will Force Ghosts play a role? Maybe.) And we can assume he hasn’t been training other Jedi in the ways of the Force, so he’s simply the sole person in the galaxy with this massive knowledge and power. That’s a responsibility which would scare even the most powerful person. And if you’re a Jedi, being scared isn’t an option, especially when you realize where fear leads (to the dark side, according to Yoda). So Luke being in seclusion would be a way for him to avoid doing harm to himself and others, and allow the galaxy to finally, after eons, exist without Jedi.

Luke going into seclusion is either the bravest, or most cowardly, thing the last Jedi could do, depending on how you look at it.

The one shot we’ve seen of him in the trailers (at top) backs this seclusion theory up, as we see a cloaked figure all alone with his favorite droid, R2-D2. (However, we’ve seen glimpses of R2-D2 in other scenes, which maybe suggests he does some of Luke’s bidding elsewhere.) Plus, the only time anyone saw actor Mark Hamill filming was on the Irish island of Skellig Michael. This beautiful, secluded location is probably the setting of Luke’s hideout.

So let’s assume Luke is hiding. How, then, does he play into the movie? Well, there are a few trains of thought.

Where The Hell is Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Force Awakens?

I’ve heard two rumors about Luke’s role in this movie, but I don’t know which is true, if either. Those rumors are that A). Luke doesn’t show up until the very end of the movie, possibly even the last shot or B). He has a big role in the third act of the film and kicks major, major ass.

No matter if one or neither of those are true, we can pretty definitively say his story is linked to, at the very least, Kylo Ren. Kylo is looking for Luke. The latest trailer shows Kylo saying he wants to finish what “you” started (probably meaning Darth Vader) and one of the official toys has Kylo saying “Together we will destroy the Resistance and the last Jedi.”

If Kylo wants to destroy the last Jedi, that’s Luke. But is he being honest? Does Kylo want to kill Luke so there won’t be anyone to challenge his power with the Force? Or could Kylo looking for Luke because they’re related? Is it he wants to learn the ways of The Force? Or is it because he wants to recruit Luke, like Vader tried to do? We don’t know.

I think we can almost definitively say, though, that Luke Skywalker is not Kylo Ren. That’s a crazy fan theory that’s been going around, which has way more evidence against it than for it.

That evidence is as follows: 1. The toy says it wants to destroy the last Jedi. If they’re the same person, that doesn’t make sense. 2. Ren has built a shoddy, homemade lightsaber, because he’s not one with the Force. Luke is. 3. We’ve seen photos of Kylo Ren without his helmet on, and it’s Adam Driver. And 4. In September, Hamill was spotted back at Skellig Michael with Star Wars Episode VIII director Rian Johnson, likely doing some early, weather-related filming. The pair were joined by a full crew and one other key cast member. This suggests not only does Luke survive The Force Awakens, but he’ll be doing something important with this cast member in the next movie. Maybe filling that Obi-Wan role.

So, in the end, I think that’s what happening with Luke Skywalker in The Force Awakens. For good and bad, he’s scared of the powers he has, and he’s in hiding. No one has seen him for years, but he becomes essential once a new threat begins to rise led by Kylo Ren and Supreme Leader Snoke. Whether he deals with that threat in this movie, another one, or via another character, we don’t know. But he will deal with it.

“These are good questions to be asking,” J.J. Abrams said when asked about Luke’s Force Awakens whereabouts. “I can’t wait for you to find out the answer.”


Contact the author at germain@io9.com.

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

$
0
0

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

I’m covered in flop sweat, my hands are shaking, and an itchy flush in my cheeks hints that tears are just moments away. While the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast is a mere 20 miles from the Providence Amtrak station, I’ve been lost for 30 minutes and it feels like a bad sign.

Nestled away in Fall River, Massachusetts, the notorious site of two 19th-century murders will be my home for a night in October. (My editor thinks it will be funny if I stay there alone. I think it will be funny if I haunt her forever after I’m murdered by ghosts.) My journey there reminds me—through some combination of Google Maps, my own inexperience driving in rush hour traffic, and evil spirits, presumably—that terror is already close at hand. By the time I reach the Lizzie Borden house, my nerves are shot.

“I’m guessing you’re Madeleine,” says the man who checks me in after I go to the wrong door and ring the wrong bell twice. Despite his guesswork, he—with a backwards baseball hat and lip ring—comes off more like Fred Durst than Wadsworth from Clue (and the former is certainly scarier). He knows who I am not through premonition, but because I’m the last guest to arrive and the only guest who’s come without company.


Painted a somber dark green with black shutters, the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast looms on Second Street, several blocks from the Taunton River and just off I-195. Its immediate surroundings include the Fall River Justice Center, a housing complex called Borden Place, and blocks of shabby houses, which are occasionally interrupted by crumbling Victorian mansions—glorious and skeletal reminders of a time when Fall River was a booming mill town.

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

The Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast, located at 230 2nd St in Fall River, Mass.


The Borden house was built in 1845 by Charles C. Trafton and gained infamy just shy of 50 years later when, on August 4, 1892, the home’s owner—a wealthy property developer named Andrew Borden—was discovered dead on his parlor sofa, his face pulverized by the blade of a hatchet. The corpse of his wife Abby—also having taken its fair share of hatchet blows—was found in an upstairs bedroom moments later. As the famous jump rope rhyme will tell you, the case’s primary suspect was Andrew’s 32-year-old daughter (and Abby’s stepdaughter) Lizzie.

The scandal was instant. Not only were the Borden murders grisly and violent, but there was also the added twist—unfathomable in the 19th century—that the murderer might be a woman, and a wealthy one at that. Lizzie’s trial received media attention from all over the world.

But the investigation into the Bordens’ death was so hapless (typical in the 19th century) and the evidence was so limited that the jury never came close to convicting Lizzie of murder. No one ever found a weapon; blood from the victims was never discovered on Lizzie’s body nor any of her clothing (she was, however, caught suspiciously burning a dress weeks into the inquisition); there were no witnesses—or at least none willing to come forward—who saw her commit the crime. The other suspects—Lizzie’s older sister Emma, her uncle John Morse, the family’s maid Bridget Sullivan, and a mysterious drifter—were never seriously considered, because they all had alibis. (Or, in the case of the drifter, his existence was never proven at all.)

The crime is still unsolved, and if the several Lizzie Borden movies and TV shows are any indication, people remain just as fascinated in the case today as they did in 1892.


I’m worried that Tim will think I’m creepy for showing up alone to a house like this, but my fears are unfounded. The Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast—upsetting as some might find it—is a place where people come to revel in creepiness. Graphic crime scene photos are prominently displayed in the rooms, signs jokingly tell you to “watch your head,” and the dining room china cabinet contains two model skulls that show exactly how the Bordens’ were bludgeoned.

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

Left: The John V. Morse room and site of Abby Borden’s death. Right: The crime scene photo from the criminal investigation of Abby Borden’s murder.


“That’s where Mr. Borden was murdered.” Tim points to the parlor sofa. “Feel free to pose with the fake hatchet.”

We move upstairs. “This is where Mrs. Borden died. You can lie down in the spot where they found her if you want.”

I decline both offers.

Tim tells me that my room is in the attic and only accessible by the dark and shadowy servants stairs in the back of the house. “Wonderful,” I say through gritted teeth.

He excuses himself to finish up his work, leaving me by myself for the first time in the attic. The walls shudder as a faucet in some far-off bathroom squeaks, and the pipes make a tap-tap-tap sound. This house is alive and thrumming. Though daylight still filters through the windows and I can hear Tim straightening up on the floor below, I start to feel frightened, either unbearably alone, or—if the frissons shooting up and down my spine are to be believed—not alone enough.

Whenever you have to remind yourself that ghosts aren’t real, the self-reassurance is shot from the beginning. I grew up in a place like this—not the site of a murder, but an old former boarding house with perpetually dark hallways that I could never pass through without a quickened pace. With age, my belief in an afterlife has dwindled to almost nothing and I’m comfortable in the dark. But even still, I’ll occasionally wake in the middle of the night, gripped by fear or, more dreadfully, frozen by sleep paralysis, a phenomenon that I first saw described in an essay by Jenah Shaw on the Hairpin:

I was 19 when I first experienced sleep paralysis, and that time it took the form of man lying on top of me, so heavy that it was hard for me to breathe. I’d been dreaming of a heritage village in the South Island town my mother lives, a fenced in collection of buildings with a windmill and a cafe and a book fair every year. It was a pretty innocuous dream, at first; everything was sunny and gentle and not much was happening. At the front gates I saw a friend I hadn’t spoken to in a long time, and while I was trying to talk to her I became aware of a man approaching me to my left. He was trying to get my attention. From the corner of my eyes—or perhaps just because you know these things in dreams without having to look at them directly—I could make out that he was a bit shorter than me, and unshaven, with lank blonde hair that fell to his shoulders. When I ignored him, he came and stood very close, which was when I turned, and the minute I looked at him I woke up. By which I mean I seemed to wake up, but he was still there.

He was heavy. I tried to shift my arms, but they were pinned to my sides. And I could smell him, which was the worst of it—the bitter combination of feeling a rough jaw against the skin of my neck, and the terror of being unable to breathe. I choked. He smelt like sweat and something else—something ugly.

In her piece, Shaw reveals that, for many other cultures, the term for sleep paralysis will quite literally translate to “ghost pressing on body” or “held down by the ghost.” On the blessedly rare times that I’ve experienced it, this is how my sleep paralysis, like Shaw’s, has felt. There’s a heavy, humanoid form pinning me down to the mattress. I can’t move or scream. Often, I can’t even see.

There have also been times when I’ve been jerked awake from a nightmare to find someone—a shadowy figure—lurking in my bedroom, sometimes at the foot of my bed, other times standing in the doorway. During one terrifying incident in a former apartment with flimsy locks and untrustworthy landlords, I woke up to find the distinct outline of a man leaning against my wall watching me, his body language casual. I blinked once, sure that my eyes were tricking me, but when I opened them, he was still there. I blinked again and this time, he was gone.

There are explanations for both these things. Sleep paralysis is well documented, as is the experience of witnessing shadow people. In daylight or surrounded by company, I can talk about the paranormal calmly and rationally, with skepticism. But at night, when I’m alone and buzzing with adrenaline, it’s much harder to come to grips with logic. Instead, my mind will cling to a far more simple answer: ghosts.

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

Left to right: the Abby Borden room, self portrait of a terrified blogger, and a painted tribute to Lizzie Borden.


All it takes is a little dark and solitude to make me a believer. I’m a Scully in the streets and Mulder in the sheets.


At 8 p.m., the guests gather in the drawing room for an extensive tour of the house. With everyone sat in a circle, our guide Danielle asks us to introduce ourselves, tell everyone where we’re from, and say who we think committed the murders. These odd circumstances leave me suddenly feeling like I’ve wandered into the plot of an Agatha Christie novel. Strangers gather in a stately-yet-mysterious home, no one knows the owner, everyone has their own dark reason for being there, a crime has occurred (approximately 123 years ago, but who’s counting), and we have to figure our who did it.

“It was Lizzie and the uncle,” one member of our group suggests.

“Lizzie and her sister did it,” says another.

“It was the maid.”

Everyone has a theory about the Bordens’ killer except for me.

“What Bobby said.”

I gesture to the 13-year-old kid sitting next to me. I’ll soon find out that Bobby is absolutely insane (delightfully insane) and probably not the best person to pin my theory on, but, as they say, you live and you learn. More true to my situation: You live, you get accidentally whacked by a rubber hatchet being swung around by a paintball-obsessed teen who’s randomly doing the nae nae in the middle of a ghost tour, and then you learn.

Danielle goes on to explain her theory that Lizzie committed the murder alone, but was in cahoots with her sister Emma. She proceeds to take us through the house room by room, explaining the timeline of the murders (Abby Borden was killed between 9 and 10:30 a.m., while her husband was at work; Andrew Borden was killed between 10:30 and 11:10 a.m. after he got home and laid down for a nap), the paranormal sightings of each room, and the Borden family history.

Two important things I learn: First, the Bordens (it seems) were terribly unkind people, especially when it came to their Irish maid Bridget who, thanks to Lizzie and Emma, was more often known as Maggie—not because that was her nickname, but because their last maid was named Maggie and they didn’t think it was worth their time to learn a new Irish girl’s name. (Bridget worked for and lived with the family for almost three years. She was called Maggie the entire time.)

The second lesson I learn: Ghost hunting is boring bullshit. It’s not translucent Victorian children or threatening messages written in mirror steam. It’s a bunch of dorks walking around a house at night taking photos and sound recordings of nothing. It is counted successful if there is any irregularity in the photos and recordings. This isn’t the stuff that The Shining, or even Casper, is made of. And still, when Danielle tells us that paranormal activity has been reported in every room of the house except for mine, I involuntarily whoop with relief.

I don’t want to be alone in the Lizzie Borden house. Having company seems to be the only way to enjoy this. And in this, I get very lucky. With two notable exceptions, my fellow guests are incredibly fun to be around. There’s Kourtney and Tyson, a warm, friendly married couple from Texas who’ve come to Fall River to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Young Bobby keeps us entertained throughout the night with his non sequiturs and wild energy. His older sister Micayla and I share smirks throughout the tour, while their mother Theresa continually interrupts our guide with facts about ghosts that she read on the internet. Amanda and Jenna, two 19-year-old girls from Rhode Island, have come armed with bold winged eyeliner, planned poses for their Instagram accounts, and a thirst for adventure.

“They say that if you knock on a person’s grave, their ghost will chase you home and haunt you forever,” Amanda announces. “Well, today at Lizzie’s grave, I went ‘Knock knock, bitch! I’m staying at your house tonight so you better come get me.’”

(This is but one of many acts of aggression towards the long-dead Lizzie that Amanda will display this evening.)

At the end of the tour, Danielle puts on a movie—1975’s The Legend of Lizzie Borden—and leaves us alone for the night (there’s no staff present in the house between the end of the tour and breakfast), but not before I spot a small Borden-inspired tattoo on the side of her hand.

“Oh, god. Is that a hatchet?”

“Yeah,” she says proudly.

The staff here are in deep.

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

Photo courtesy of Danielle Cabral.


With the movie playing in the background, Danielle wishes us a safe night and walks out the door, leaving us alone to hunt ghosts and socialize as we please.


Sitting in the parlor, with some of us occupying the very spot where Andrew Borden had his face hacked so severely that the crime scene photo shows his eye pooling in globules on his cheek, we all agree to try out the house ouija board (which, according to legend, was stolen a few years ago, only to be returned months later with an ominous note reading, “Please make it stop”). It’s then we realize that the two quietest members of our tour group—a pair of young women in late twenties with rockabilly haircuts and fishnet tights—are no longer with us.

“Those girls were weird,” Amanda proclaims. “I bet they’re witches.”

“You don’t mess with the devil’s arts,” Theresa adds nervously.

The lore surrounding the two missing girls begins to mount. Soon they’re not just witches, but Satanists hellbent on raising a demon in their bedroom.

Despite the general fear of the “devil’s arts,” everyone is more than willing to take a turn on the ouija board. The ouija board, however, is not so willing to take a turn on us. No matter how politely we ask, the planchette refuses to move.

“Why won’t you talk to us?,” Amanda shouts at the board. “You guys don’t get it,” she adds. “I want something bad to happen.”

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

Trying and failing to make contact with the dead.


We relocate to an attic bedroom, where the planchette becomes a little more jumpy. I suspect this has less to do with the paranormal and more to do with one member of our group getting bored and moving it manually, but either way, the activity is a welcome change of pace. Amanda, whose dramatics and enthusiasm have made her the leader of our ghost hunt, begins to ask questions.

“Are you a girl?”

The planchette jerks to yes.

“What letter does your name start with,” she calls out.

This time, it easily glides to L, causing several of the room’s more corporeal occupants to nervously whisper “Lizzie.”

Amanda clearly isn’t here to waste time.

“Did you kill your parents?,” she asks abruptly, causing the planchette—not appreciating her rude tone—to stop moving entirely. No matter how politely (or impolitely) we ask., the thing refuses to budge.

“I’m prettier than you, Lizzie,” a frustrated Amanda finally hisses. “Does that make you mad?”

Lizzie, it seems, is either unbothered by her inferior attractiveness or unwilling to rise to the provocation. She also doesn’t seem to care much for Jenna’s questions about whether she (as some theories put it) committed the murders while naked.

Assuming that the ghost—or whoever was moving the planchette—has no more answers for us, and tired from the day’s activities, I excuse myself and head to bed.


With peals of laughter coming from the group on the other side of the wall, I feel secure enough to get sleepy, and start to drift off under the glow of the extremely bright EXIT sign that illuminates my room. All goes well until I’m suddenly awakened by that sensation of falling—the hypnic jerk that yanks sharply at your heart as you start to drift off. By now, my new friends have all either gone to bed or off to explore different parts of the house and, apart from the rattle of the heat vents, the attic is quiet as the dead.

Between now and breakfast, I will not sleep a wink.

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

The writer, tired and miserable, at 6 in the morning.


Being kept awake by hyperawareness for seven hours straight feels frightening and stupid—the feeling of being the last kid awake at a slumber party, multiplied by several factors of anxiety. It forces me to admit that I am still wholly terrified of the idea of ghosts, specifically the reported ghosts in this home—even though, quite frankly, their stories don’t even make sense. Lizzie and Emma, who’ve both been “contacted” within the home by visiting psychics, didn’t die here. Guests have also reported hearing the laughter of some distant Borden cousins who were drowned by their own mother (years prior to Abby and Andrew’s murder) in a neighboring building. Eerie, yes, but why would the baby specters end up here?

I run through these points again and again, continually reminding myself—like a good little atheist—that ghosts cannot exist. But here is one area where I can understand faith: I believe in ghosts despite having no evidence of their existence because they feel real. The house might not be haunted, but my imagination is.


“How did you sleep?”

“Did you hear anything?”

“Did you see anything?”

These are the questions that bounce around the group as we sit down for our breakfast of eggs, potatoes, and Johnny cakes (which are similar to pancakes, only they’re made with cornmeal and taste like cardboard). An autopsy photo of Abby Borden’s shaved head serves as the table’s centerpiece, but no one seems to mind.

There are various reports from the night. Tyson plays a recording of a mysterious knocking sound on his iPhone, Kourtney says she heard a disembodied voice say “excuse me” in the middle of the night. Others report hearing the single note of a piano key sounding from the drawing room. The teens from Rhode Island are upset at their lack of ghost encounters.

While Amanda says she wanted something bad to happen and is outwardly disappointed that all is well, I have to wonder how deep that desire—not just for her, but for any of the guests—can go. It’s more likely that we’ll get killed pulling out of the Lizzie Borden parking lot than it was for us to get hurt in the house last night, but it’s that lack of real danger (coupled with the high-anxiety goofiness of late night ghost tours) that keeps visitors arriving in droves.

I can still easily recall the feeling of waking up to find that shadow man in my bedroom. How I was too scared to move and unsure of what I was seeing to scream. Or my last experience with sleep paralysis: the full weight of a strange body on top of me, a pair rough hands—strong and heavy—holding me down by my eyes and mouth. Going farther back, I can—in an instant—remember what it was like to be small and frightened in my childhood home when I would sprint through the hallways, the atmospheric electricity of the paranormal always in hot pursuit.

There was nothing fun about any of those experiences. And yet, here I am, eating breakfast and sipping coffee in an old house in Fall River, a place where two people died horrible deaths (so many years ago that our fascination in them doesn’t feel quite so ghoulish), and I’ve come for the lone purpose of chasing those terrible feelings all over again.

But the overnight wasn’t all terrible. It was silly and bonding and exciting, too. So much so that, once it’s time to say goodbye, I find myself a little sad to be leaving. While our time at the B&B hasn’t had quite the And Then There Were None finale that I was predicting—and even though I’m so tired that I know I’ll have to take a nap in the car-I’m still taken aback by how close I feel to the people (and ghosts) who I’ve spent the night with.

Later, Kourtney, my new friend from Dallas, will comment on Facebook that the house felt oppressive and haunted, but it’s hard for me to say whether or not I agree with her. I stayed up all night terrified of ghosts that would never materialize, I watched the Ouija fail to work, and saw the corny t-shirts in the gift shop. The bed and breakfast doesn’t feel haunted in the way that the house I grew up in felt haunted and the external danger—not the danger of my own relentless imagination—has felt practically nonexistent (barring the threat from the fake Satanists).

But I write this from the relative safety of a bright autumn afternoon, far from Fall River and the house where Andrew and Abby met their violent ends. Ask me at night and I might have a different answer. Ask me if I would stay again and the answer is definitely no.


Back on my own in the rental car, I have one more stop to make before leaving Fall River: Oak Grove Cemetery, home of the Borden family plot, is just a few minutes away. And graveyards, not B&Bs, are the place where the living and dead mingle most freely.

It’s a beautiful fall day, the sky silvery and the leaves on the trees bursting with color. Oak Grove Cemetery is large, and packed with fascinating old gravestones. I take my time wandering through it.

After about an hour, I finally stumble upon what I set out to find—the graves of Andrew, Abby, Emma, and Lizzie. All of the Borden’s tombstones are littered with tributes and tokens. There are beads, beautiful stones, and silk flowers. Candles have melted into the surrounding grass.

Oddly, Lizzie’s grave is the only one that’s infested with ants.

My Sleepless Night Alone at the Allegedly Haunted Lizzie Borden B&B

Lizzie Borden’s grave, Fall River, MA.


Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.

Illustration by Jim Cooke

The Guardians of the Galaxy TV Show Finally Got Good

$
0
0

The Guardians of the Galaxy TV Show Finally Got Good

Marvel Animation’s current output of shows leaves a little to be desired—too much of a focus on nodding to the movies, not enough doing their own thing. When Guardians of the Galaxy began, I thought much the same. But somehow, in a few short weeks, it’s gone from disappointing to delightful.

Spoilers ahead, of course...

“Undercover Angle” is a genuine shock to the system for the show—considering this turnaround that has happened just 5 episodes in, it’s nothing short of remarkable. Guardians felt unsure of itself, whether that was in its tendency to fall back on elements from the movie, or its outright fear of what to do with characters not well-expanded upon in the film, like Drax and Gamora. But basically, it seems like for Guardians to realize itself as a fun cartoon, it basically just needed to become Firefly: The Animated Series. I’m not going to complain about that at all.

It’s a very Firefly-ian premise: A crackpot heist plan sees the team infiltrate Nova Corps headquarters on Xandar to loot another Pandorian crystal for Star-Lord’s cosmic seed/doohickey device, only to be captured—and sent on another heist at the behest of Nova Corpsman Titus, requiring them to infiltrate a gang that’s attempting to sell Ronan’s hammer from the film. This was a clever way of integrating plot threads from the movie without just repeating them wholesale (it’s natural that Ronan leaving behind a hugely powerful weapon would lead to it ending up in the hands of some unsavory characters). But also, this plot also lets “Undercover Angle” do three things to transform Guardians of the Galaxy from disappointment to a show with a lot of fun promise.

It finally nails what the Guardians are about

The Guardians of the Galaxy TV Show Finally Got Good

The Guardians are best as characters when they’re basically just sort of winging it—not quite heroes, not quite scoundrels, waltzing around with just enough planning to make themselves dangerous (and a hoot to watch)—and they get to do that not just once, but twice in “Undercover Angle”. The Nova Corp heist the episode opens with is perfect, since the team does its best to look like more than a gang of goofballs in disguise as Corpsmen. It leads to some great jokes, and when they inevitably screw up—Rocket accidentally trips an alarm while deactivating a shield around the crystal they’re swiping—it’s less of a failed plan and more of a snowball into some zany action. The Guardians aren’t a slick operation, and thats what makes them so fun.

The second “heist”, infiltrating a gang of criminals called the Black Order who are looking to sell Ronan’s hammer, equally positions the Guardians as a team that’s much more comfortable in the seedier parts of the galaxy than up against (or with) the Nova Corps. It’s a genuine delight to see them trick their way into good standing with the Black Order, and this also relies on the fact that the Guardians aren’t really a superhero team as such. They’re a team of adventurers who get by doing whatever they can, that decide to be heroes when the need arises—like how they get themselves caught by the Nova Corps in the first place because they stop their escape to save a small ship that’s about to crash.

Banter, Banter, Banter

The Guardians of the Galaxy TV Show Finally Got Good

Throughout all this, we get some truly great and funny banter between the team—and not just Rocket, Star-Lord and Groot, which the show has already shown it excels at. It’s still great here, and this time the whole team gets in on the fun.

There’s a great recurring joke about Drax, who takes everything literally, trying to grasp with the concept of acting and lying to people—something Star-Lord is a natural at—and this leads to some fun moments between the pair as Drax tries being undercover, to various levels of success. Even Gamora gets to joke around a bit instead of solely being someone who likes fighting a lot, and admonishes Star-Lord for past romantic dalliances. It’s zippy and fun, and it does a lot to make the characters enjoyable in their own rights instead of relying on what love we felt for them in the movie. It’s no Whedon-esque quipfest, sure, but for a cartoon series, it works well enough.

It got rid of the show’s terrible “ongoing” Villain

The Guardians of the Galaxy TV Show Finally Got Good

It turns out, after the Black Order discover the Guardians are working for the Nova Corps and head to the drop-off point for the Hammer’s buyer with them as prisoners, the real villain is actually Corpsman Titus—the equal parts useless and annoying Nova Corps officer/thorn-in-the-side-of-the-Guardians we’ve seen a lot of over the last few weeks. It turns out, his past asshole-ish nature was simply because he’s an asshole himself—he’s betraying the Corps to make easy money dealing with criminals, intending to sell Ronan’s weapon on the black market. The problem was, without knowing this information, Titus’ past appearances just made him look incredible petty towards the Guardians. He was just an annoying authority figure for them to defy, and one who was seemingly downright incompetent in his ability to stop them.

This all made Titus a total bore to watch—but thankfully, Guardians of the Galaxy seemingly realized that, and nipped Titus’ presence in the show in the bud, having him foiled and imprisoned at the end of the episode. It’s a good thing, aside from the fact that Titus was completely ineffective as a villain: it goes to show that the Guardians don’t need a repeating villain cropping up for no real reason each week (aside from a much larger, overarching threat like Thanos, of course). Hopefully with Titus behind bars we can a) never see him again, and b) have some more interesting “villains of the week.”

Last week’s episode was filled with stumbles, but showed a tiny sliver of promise that Guardians of the Galaxy could defy the bad reputation of Marvel Animation’s current output. This week, it got a lot closer to doing just that—and I’m really hoping it keeps this good streak going.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

$
0
0

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

Nobody can cheat death, but for thousands of years, humans have tried to elude decomposition. Whether we’re saving our bodies for the afterlife or time traveling to a better future, peoples throughout history have gone to astounding lengths to preserve their mortal remains.

Here are five fascinating ways human corpses have defied the natural process of decay.

Mummification

You can’t talk body preservation without talking mummies, one of the oldest and most renowned methods. Mummification is best known for its appearance in ancient Egypt, but mummies are a hallmark of dozens of ancient cultures, from Aztecs to Pacific Islanders.

Still, since Egyptian mummification is so well-documented, it’s a good touchstone for how the process worked. While the appearance of the first intentional mummies in Egypt is a matter of debate, by the Middle Kingdom (2000 - 1700 BC), it was common practice for families of means to submit their loved ones to a lengthy mummification process upon death. First, the body was eviscerated; all internal organs were removed except the heart, which was deemed necessary for the journey to the afterlife. That squishy thing inside your skull, however, had to go. As far as archaeologists can tell, the brain was removed using a highly scientific methodology: sticking a hook up the nose, swirling it around to make brain slushy, and tiling the head forward to pour out the goop.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

Egyptian mummy at the British Museum. Image Credit: Klafubra/Wikimedia

The gutted corpse was then washed out with a mixture of spices and palm wine, which helped prevent bacterial decay, before it was basted with natron salts and left to shrivel into human jerky for 40-odd days. After desiccation, the body was washed again, wrapped in layer upon layer of linen cloth, and coated with resin to prevent water damage. The mummy was then sealed in a tomb along with a bunch of useful worldly goods.

The process of mummifying a corpse wasn’t for the fainthearted; but far more grisly is the act of self mummification, famously achieved by several devout practitioners of Shingon Buddhism in Japan between the 12th and early 20th centuries. To achieve transcendence, these brave souls would prepare their bodies for mummification through an intense, 3,000-day training process that io9 describes in rich detail. Highlights involve replacing one’s normal diet with pine needles, tree bark, stones and resins in an attempt to kickstart the embalming process during life. Once the half-starved — partially mummified? — ascetic was ready, he’d be buried alive.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

Tollund Man, a body preserved at the bottom of a peat bog in Denmark from the 4th century BC. Image Credit: Sven Rosborn/Wikimedia

Mummification has a long and rich history, but with the exception of a few remarkable cases (personal favorite: Bog Bodies), most of the thickly-tanned corpses unearthed today don’t much resemble living humans. It wasn’t until recent centuries that people started using science to preserve the look and feel of living flesh.

A Death Fit for A Communist Leader

Modern embalming techniques vary from place to place, but they usually involve a mixture of formaldehyde and alcohol or water. Bodies embalmed in this manner have a shelf life of approximately 10 years.

Contrast that with the mortal remains of Vladimir Lenin, which were apparently looking pretty good when they turned 145 this year. Thanks to the extraordinary efforts of the Center for Scientific Research and Teaching Methods in Biochemical Technologies in Moscow — save your breath and call it the “Lenin Lab” — the Soviet founder’s corpse still maintains the look, feel, and flexibility of Lenin toward the end of his life. If anything, the body’s appearance has improved with age.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

Lenin’s body, photographed April 16th, 1997. Image Credit: Larry Koester / Flickr

The quest to preserve the former communist leader grew out of the work of anatomist Vladimir Vorobiev and biochemist Boris Zbarsky, who, after two months of political debate, were permitted to perform experiments on Lenin’s corpse beginning March of 1924. (Thankfully, it was a cold winter, and Lenin, whose brain and organs were removed during initial autopsy, didn’t decompose too much in the intervening weeks.) “No one was certain whether the experiment would succeed and, if it did, how long the body could be displayed after that,” writes Alexei Yurchak, a professor of social anthropology at UC Berkeley. “The plan was to attempt to preserve it for as long as possible.”

The gamble was a resounding success. In what Yurchak describes as “a dynamic method of preservation,” Lenin is reembalmed every year; his body is submersed in a slew of preservatives and antimicrobial solutions, including glycerol, formaldehyde, hydrogen peroxide, and acetic acid. Each of these “sessions” can take weeks. When the corpse is wheeled out for its annual public appearance, it’s covered in a rubber suit that keeps a thin layer of embalming fluid trapped against the skin. (A regular suit of clothes fits overtop.)

As new challenges have arisen, Russian scientists have innovated, “substituting original organic materials with artificial ones, and regularly resculpting [Lenin’s] shapes and surfaces.” Lenin’s eyelashes were replaced with fake ones long ago, and artificial skin patches now cover much of his body. Today, the corpse might be seen as more a sculpture than anything else — one that grew out of the body itself. Like any work of art, Lenin’s maintenance is driven by aesthetic criteria. What’s exceptional is the amount of knowledge that’s been garnered along the way.

Steeped in Honey

If life in twelfth-century Arabia wasn’t sweet enough, perhaps there was morbid solace to be found by turning your mortal remains into a sugary confection. Throughout human history, people have filled the coffins of honored men and women with food and other burial items preserved in honey. We’ve also candied our fair share of corpses.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

The practice of “mellification” — literally, transforming a cadaver into human rock candy by steeping it in honey — was supposedly practiced by men of ancient Arabia. Tales of mellifed men come to us from Chinese sources, most notably the Bencao Gangmu, a compendium of exotic cures penned by 16th century Chinese apothecary of Li Shizhen.

Artist’s impression of a mellified man. Image Credit: Wikimedia

According to Shizhen, mellification was a self-sacrificial process that began before death. Near the end of their lives, the to-be-candied men would eat, drink, and bathe in nothing but honey, the result being that they’d soon be pissing, sweating, and shitting honey, too. When the saccharine diet eventually did them in, these brave souls would be placed inside stone coffins and submerged in — you guessed it — more honey.

After a century or two of....ripening, honey men would be pulled out of their sickly sweet brine, broken up into small confectionary fragments, and sold in bazaars for a premium. Mellified men were reportedly capable of healing broken limbs and other ailments. However, as Mary Roach points out in her book Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, “The popularity of some of these human elixirs probably had less to do with the purported effective ingredient than with the base.” That is, the honey might have done the trick all by itself.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

Honey is one of the best natural preservatives we know of. Image Credit: Shutterstock

Even if the tales of Arabian mellification are apocryphal, there’s good reason to believe this preservation method was sound. Honey’s unique physical and chemical properties renders it a remarkable preservative. “Honey in its natural form is very low moisture,” Amina Harris, executive director of the Honey and Pollination Center at UC Davis told Smithsonian Magazine. “Very few bacteria or microorganisms can survive in an environment like that, they just die. They’re smothered by it, essentially.” What’s more, thanks to the particular chemical reactions between a bee’s stomach enzymes and nectar, honey contains hydrogen peroxide, a powerful antimicrobial agent.

A sealed jar of honey will keep pretty much indefinitely. So, it doesn’t seem too surprising that humans would turn to this substance for everlasting existence.

Go Plastic Or Go Home

Ahh, modern life....filled with Netflix, WiFi hotspots, and corpses that don’t stink to high heaven. If they’re properly plasticized, that is. In this decidedly modern take on human rock candy, cadavers are subjected to a four-stage plasticizing procedure that essentially turns them into giant action figures. No smell, no decomposition, no goopy stinky liquids. A classy way to remain tethered to the Earth.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

The process of plastination was first developed by Gunther von Hagens in 1977. Like other human preservation techniques, variations abound, but here’s the gist: First, the body is fixed in a preserving solution, usually formaldehyde, to prevent tissue decomposition. After fixation, an anatomist will perform any necessary dissections, opening the body up to reveal tissues and organs for display.

Gunther von Hagens with a plastinated gorilla. Image Credit: Wikimedia

Next, dehydration. After all dissections are finished, the specimen is placed in a sub-zero acetone bath. As the body freezes, water is drawn out of its cells and acetone, with a freezing point of -139ºF (-95ºC), floods in to replace it.

Once all that pesky water is out of the way, the acetone-filled corpse is placed in a bath of liquid polymer — silicon rubber, polyester, or epoxy resin. Now it’s time to remove the acetone. Under vacuum conditions, acetone quickly dissipates, drawing liquid plastic into the body’s cells as it exits. The corpse can now be reconfigured into its final resting position, before its plastic-filled organs and tissues are cured with gas, heat, or UV light.

Plastination was made famous by Von Hagens’ BODY WORLDS exhibits, which, since the late ‘90s, have traveled the world revealing the innermost secrets of human lives to the pubic. I strongly recommend checking out the exhibit next time it comes to a city near you — you’ll never see your own human meatbag the same way.

Cryogenics

And finally, we get to cryogenics, the bodily preservation method of choice for spacefarers attempting to traverse impossibly long cosmic distances, and celebrities in the 21st century. Among all the preservation techniques detailed in this post, cryogenics is the only one whose goal is to extend life.

Five Crazy Ways Humans Have Preserved Their Bodies Throughout History

Image Credit: Shutterstock

The principle is simple: cold is one of the best ways to preserve organic tissues. Certain organisms, from microbes to frogs, can wake up and go about their business after long stints at subzero. Might humans do the same? If so, we may be able to freeze people with incurable illnesses today, in the hopes that science and technology will save them tomorrow.

That idea may have the ring of far-fetched science fiction, but it’s compelling enough that several companies, most notably the Alcor Life Extension Foundation, are now offering cryogenic services. For $770 a year, you can become an Alcor member, a contract which guarantees your body space in a tomb of liquid nitrogen — provided you can shore up an additional $80,000 (for brain-only) or $200,000 (for full body) cryopreservation upon death.

Alcor’s cryopreservation procedure is best described as intense. Immediately after a patient’s heart stops, he’s moved onto an ice bed; his circulation and breathing are artificially restarted with a “heart lung resuscitator.” The patient is then given a cocktail of intravenous drugs, including anticoagulants and pH buffers, before his blood is pumped out and replaced with an organ preservation solution.

Once at Alcor’s Arizona facility, the patient’s circulatory system gets another flush before a medical-grade antifreeze is slowly introduced; this solution allows the body to be cooled to a resting temperature of -196ºC (-320ºF) over the course of two weeks. The body — or brain— is then sent to storage in a stainless steel dewer at Alcor’s facilities, where it remains indefinitely, waiting for a cure.

There’s one big catch, as I’m sure you’ve already surmised: there’s no guarantee that any of this will work. No guarantee that the technology to extend your life, cure your illness, even resuscitate you properly, will ever be invented. But Alcor remains optimistic, offering this aptly reductionist summary of your existence on its website:

Ultimately the difference between life and death for a cell, an organ, or an organism reduces to a difference in how atoms are arranged inside it. It therefore seems certain that future medicine capable of diagnosis and repair at a molecular level will be able to resuscitate people after longer periods of clinical death than medicine can today. How much memory and personality would survive repair and healing after hours of cardiac arrest is not currently known.

Then again, death offers no guarantees, either. Hey, to each their own inscrutable end.

***

The preservation techniques I’ve described here are but a small fraction of the fascinating ways humans have attempted to preserve their bodies throughout history. Our methods of choice (honey, salt, formaldehyde, ice) are as diverse as our motivations (religion, politics, education, medicine). If there’s one common thread here, it’s that we humans are utterly fascinated by our own mortality. And we’ll never stop chasing the dream that we can somehow, in some fashion, escape it.


Follow the author @themadstone

Viewing all 36042 articles
Browse latest View live