Legends of Tomorrow is a TV show about time travel. And is true with all time-abusing pop culture, the rules are often fuzzy at best. Can you be erased from existence in this universe once you alter the past, or do you become part of an alternative timeline? Although we don’t know all the rules of LoT’s universe yet, one thing is pretty certain—Rip Hunter is terrible at time travel.

[Some spoilery stuff below]

We know this for certain because a.) a scary Boba Fett-looking time hunter is after him because he went renegade on his Time Master bros, and b.) he’s fighting Vandal Savage, an immortal that has slowly amassed power over 4,000 years. Yet Rip seems obsessed with battling Savage when he’s relatively at the height of his powers in the ‘70s. In last night’s episode “Blood Lines,” we at least see Hunter try to take down his fearsome foe back in ancient Egypt, and he almost succeeds. Now that you have your time-traveling posse, go back en masse and mess him up! But for some reason, 1975 is the place he thinks he needs to be.

Even after they realize that the 1970s is a bust, they decide to then go to the ‘80s. C’moooon. Go to like... the middle ages or something when Vandal Savage hasn’t murdered Shiara and Khufu a couple hundred times and absorbed their life force, and when he doesn’t have a shit-ton of money. Also, if you want to meddle with the past and not have your family be murdered, maybe don’t tell the immortal madman their names. I mean, I’m not an alum of Time Master University or anything, but that seems obvious to me

The last thing is when you do rip people out of their time period, you should probably make sure that they understand the whole “don’t mess with the timeline thing,” because after 3 episodes, your compatriots clearly still don’t get it. In “Blood Ties,” when Captain Cold steals a giant chunk of expensive rock to spare his father from prison, he’s upset when he gets caught anyway selling said rock to an undercover cop. Really, he should have been overwhelming relieved that he was spared the bloody nose convulsions Cisco endured in The Flash last week when the timeline got messed with. That would have been as many team member deaths as episodes, Hunter. Get it together.

But I won’t knock the guy too much—after all he still seems to be suffering from serious PTSD from what happened (or will have happened?) to his family. He needs to do some growing of his own, too—but calling him a Time Master seems a bit of an overstatement at this point.

Maybe Time Novice is more appropriate.

Contact the author at darren.orf@gizmodo.com.

You might have already heard about I am a Hero, Kengo Hanazawa’s spectacular ongoing manga set in the zombie apocalypse, hailed as manga’s take on The Walking Dead. Now, not only is Dark Horse bringing the series to US for the first time, io9 has an exclusive first look!

http://kotaku.com/i-am-a-hero-is...

I am a Hero follows a former manga artist-turned-temp Hideo Suzuki, who’s banal life is shattered when Japan falls to the living dead—zombies that are sort of a mix between your typical shambling undead and the raged-out hordes of 28 Days Later, and can even remember fragments of their former lives as humans. As one of thefew licensed gun owners in the country, Hideo finds himself thrust into the position of leading a group of tattered survivors through the deteriorating remains of Japanese society.

The series has reached great acclaim in Japan, and is even being turned into a live-action movie, but the manga hasn’t been officially available in the US—until now. Dark Horse is releasing the first two volumes of the manga (there are 18 so far) in a single trade paperback this April. And here’s our 11-page preview of what fans can expect when Japan’s dead rise:

I am a Hero Omnibus: Volume One hits store shelves April 6th.

When it was released in 1995, Virtuosity (from director Brett Leonard, who’d already explored virtual reality in 1992's Lawnmower Man) was a bomb, despite the star power of Denzel Washington and an up-and-comer named Russell Crowe. In 2016, it’s now hilariously dated—but that actually makes it way more entertaining to watch.

So, the LAPD is developing a VR program to train its officers, with convicts serving as guinea pigs. Washington plays Parker, an ex-cop who’s doing time for killing the terrorist who murdered his wife and daughter, who becomes one of the test subjects. There are already some obvious flaws with this plan; it seems a wee bit impractical, not to mention majorly cost-prohibitive. But the worst part is that the “game” was designed by a mad scientist who modeled its constantly evolving antagonist after history’s worst criminals, including Hitler, Manson, and (of course) the dude who killed Parker’s family.

This villain (played by Crowe) is named SID 6.7, which stands for “Sadistic, Intelligent, Dangerous.” It takes, oh, 30 minutes into Virtuosity for SID 6.7 to emerge buck naked from VR-land and begin terrorizing the real world. Just like in the game, Parker is dispatched to bring him in, only this time he has a Snake Plissken-style “do or die” implant under his skin.

That said, SID 6.7 isn’t actually “real.” Physically, he’s an android/Terminator thing that can heal from bullet wounds, regenerate missing limbs, etc. by touching or eating glass. He favors tacky suits, like a comic-book villain. And since he’s interactive by design, he’s obsessed with being in the spotlight—which, in the era before cell phones, social media, or even the widespread use of the internet—means he has to do things like take over a TV station to get attention.

There’s also an incredibly bizarre scene in which SID 6.7 bursts into a packed nightclub where Traci Lords is performing and a robot is bartending, and proceeds to conduct a “symphony” of screams:

Why? Nobody knows why. Nobody can even guess (except maybe screenwriter Erik Bernt, who went on to write Romeo Must Die and Highlander: Endgame). It’s scenes like the above that make sure Virtuosity is never just a cop-chases-crook movie, or even a straightforward revenge flick.

Admittedly, it is still both of those things, and it plays into all the cliches you’d expect. Like, as soon as criminologist Kelly Lynch’s precocious daughter appears (she’s played by future Big Bang Theory star Kaley Cuoco), you can start counting the minutes until the blonde moppet is kidnapped, because duh. But it’s also a movie about video game opponents who take their violent fight into real life (and, eventually, “back in the box” for the big finale).

As such, it’s stuffed with important-sounding yet impenetrable cyberbabble; the enjoyment of watching a very chill Washington go up against a gleeful, scenery-chomping young Crowe; and many, many WTF moments (sure, a cheery “This one’s for you!” makes perfect sense as an evil catch phrase). Plus, who put a mad scientist in charge of this project in the first place? These factors help explain why Virtuosity was such a flop in 1995. But they’re also precisely why viewing it today is such a scream.

http://www.amazon.com/Virtuosity-Den...

We’re finally getting superhero movies and TV shows that live up to the wonder and thrill of comics. But despite a few really great bad guys, supervillains still aren’t getting their due. A lot of baddies are just kind of... there. But who’s the weakest supervillain of all time?

Please include a picture, comics panel, clip, poster or other image for your chosen supervillain. And please mention his/her name, where he/she appears, and why he/she is weak. Thanks!

Top image: Anarky, from the Batman comics. There are other weak supervillains, but Anarky seems especially inept. There’s the impractical, ridiculous costume, with that silly hat and shiny mask, plus the long flowy robes (or cape in the New 52). There’s the fact that Anarky is sort of a graffiti artist, sort of a hacker, sort of a mad bomber, and he never really seems to have any plans that give Batman a run for his money. He’s a vaguely Occupy Wall Street protester, but his goals always seem kind of vague. Down with Anarky!

Charlie Jane Anders is the author of All The Birds in the Sky, which is available now. Here’s what people have been saying about it. Follow her on Twitter, and email her.

Kotaku XCOM 2: The Kotaku Review | Adequate Man How To Make A Southern Bologna Cake | The Slot Here’s What Happens When You Try and Track Down a Ted Cruz College Rumor | Gizmodo This Video of a Crane Collapsing in Manhattan Is Your Worst Nightmare |

Have you ever wondered why your pancakes sometimes have ugly craters, or a weird ring around their edges? A new analysis of pancake recipes could help you exploit physics to make the perfect pancake — and possibly one day save your sight.

In the journal Mathematics TODAY, a group of researchers from University College London published the results of a study comparing recipes for 14 different types of pancakes from across the world. It started as a collaboration between mathematicians and ophthalmologists. The hope is that better understanding the textures and patterns of pancakes could improve surgical methods for treating glaucoma. (It turns out your eye and a pancake share some underlying physics. More on this, anon.)

To understand pancake analysis, we have to understand a couple of terms. The first is “aspect ratio,” which compares the diameter of a pancake (to the third power) and the volume of the batter it took to make the pancake. The lower the aspect ratio, the thicker the pancake—because an equal volume of batter will make a smaller and smaller pancake. The second term is “baker’s percentage,” which is the ratio of liquid to flour. The higher the baker’s percentage, the thinner the batter. Lowering the baker’s percentage means a smaller amount of flour added to an unvarying amount of liquid.

In this latest study, the aspect ratio of different pancakes varied dramatically, depending on the recipe. Thick Dutch poffertjes, which look like coin-sized pillows, had an aspect ratio of 3, while parchment-thin crêpes had an aspect ratio of 300. The baker’s percentage didn’t vary nearly as much—it stayed between 100 and 225 for all the pancakes tested, but it produced some very interesting differences in browning.

Now let’s talk about how percentage works. Make a thick batter, with a baker’s percentage of 100, and you’ll get weird craters. Cooking evaporates the water in the pancake batter, but that water has to go somewhere. Thick pancakes trap it. As it tries to push upwards and escape, it makes craters. Whip up a thin batter with a baker’s percentage of 225, and you’ll get a lot of little dark spots, a dark ring around the edge of the pancake where the batter is thinnest, and a lot of little holes in the top. The batter is thin enough for the water to escape through the cooking pancake, leaving the dough to darken if not burn. An intermediate pancake with a baker’s percentage of 175, or a very small pancake, regardless of batter thickness, will brown evenly as the water escapes smoothly.

So what does this have to do with saving your eyes? Glaucoma is the result of liquid building up in the eye and being unable to escape. This puts pressure on the optic nerve, slowly damaging it and causing blindness. Figuring out how liquid can escape, either through or around a thin surface, is a good way to save people’s sight.

Sound far-fetched? Let these two scientists make wonderful pancakes and explain the correlation with equally wonderful accents.

[Source: Mathematics Today, Using the Physics of Perfect Pancakes to Save Your Sight]

Top Image: Michael Stern Second Image: Mira Pangkey

I suppose hating on the inexplicable hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory for portraying nerds poorly is like hating the birds for singing: it’s just what they do. But now they’ve dragged Brian K. Vaughn and Fiona Staples’ incredible scifi-fantasy comic Saga into their excrement.

Mentioning Saga is actually an impressive nerd reference for a show that mainly mines laughs out of merely mentioning the most mainstream genre hits (watch this and just try not to have your blood pressure rise). So why do you think the show brought Saga up? To mention how outstanding it is? Staples’ incredible art? That it’s currently outselling The Walking Dead? That it’s a sexy, funny, tragic, amazing Star Wars for grown-ups?

Nope! It’s because the deluxe hardcover features a big ol’ boob on the cover! A boob that is actually feeding a baby, the real star of the Saga saga! Ignore the fantastic comic between the covers, ignore the increasing cultural push towards breastfeeding being seen as a natural, non-shameful thing for a human to do, and ignore Vaughn and Staples’ reasons for the cover, which was a double-down against the retailers who refused to stock the very first issue of Saga, which featured a much more subtle image of breastfeeding on it. All because DUR IT’S A BOOB.

Nerds—we sure do like to masturbate, huh? That’s all our interests are! Star Wars, cartoons, Lord of the Rings, video games—we’re all just looking for things to jerk it to! Thanks, Big Bang Theory, for reminding us that nerds are only nerds because we’re too socially awkward to have sex with other people!

God fucking dammit.

[Bleeding Cool]

Contact the author at rob@io9.com.

Your favorite trash cans, refurbished PowerBeats headphones, and the most popular SSD lead off today’s best deals. Bookmark Kinja Deals and follow us on Twitter to never miss a deal. Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here to learn more.

http://deals.kinja.com/todays-best-ap...

Top Deals

I know, I know, Beats headphones are all marketing, they’re too bass heavy, yada yada yada. The fact is, many people like them, and that’s okay! Amazon’s selling refurbished Powerbeats wired headphones today for $60, which is the best price we’ve ever seen. Even if they aren’t your thing, they could make a great gift. [Refurb Beats Powerbeats In-Ear Wired Headphones, $60]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01ARCCF26/...

Just over a month ago, Anker finally released a water-resistant Bluetooth speaker, and you can take it for a spin for just $26.

Anker’s SoundCore Sport features 10 hours of battery life, IPX7 water resistance, ad a built-in microphone for handsfree calls. To be fair, we do see slightly cheaper water-resistant speakers from time to time, but we’ve heard nothing but good things about Anker products, so this might be worth a few extra bucks. [Anker SoundCore Sport Bluetooth Speaker, $26 with code NKJTGELK]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B017JY0UTU/...

Assuming you aren’t already in an XCOM 2 coma, EA’s selling a ton of their most popular titles for up to 75% off on Origin this weekend. Highlights include Star Wars Battlefront for $30, and Plants vs. Zombies Garden Warfare for $5, but be sure to check out the full list. [EA Publisher Sale]

Minecraft and LEGO go together like peanut butter and jam, or Jeb Bush and his mom, and you can score an all-time low price on the free-form Minecraft Crafting Box today, courtesy of Amazon. Granted, it’s only a couple bucks less than usual, but licensed LEGO sets rarely see huge price drops. [LEGO Minecraft Crafting Box, $39]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MJYDHHS

Whether you’re leaving your cat alone for a few days, or just want to keep your pets satisfied and quiet on mornings when you’re sleeping in, this $31 electronic pet feeder can dispense up to five meals on the schedule of your choosing. [PetSafe Electronic Pet Feeder, $31]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Simplehuman dominated the nominations in our recent kitchen trash cans Kinja Co-Op, and Amazon’s running rare discounts on several models of all shapes and sizes today.

http://co-op.kinja.com/your-favorite-...

Update: Most of the trash cans have returned to their usual prices. The ones below should still be active, at least for now.

We’ve occasionally seen better prices on these, but rarely are so many discounted together, so browse the collection and lock in your order before prices return to normal.

Trash Cans

• simplehuman Semi-Round Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 40 L / 10.5 Gal ($119) | Amazon
  
• simplehuman Rectangular Step Trash Can Recycler, Stainless Steel, 46 L / 12.2 Gal ($153) | Amazon
  
• simplehuman Rectangular Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 50 L / 13.2 Gal ($153) | Amazon
  

Other

• simplehuman Steel Frame Dishrack with Wine Glass Holder, Stainless Steel ($68) | Amazon
  

128GB in your pocket for $25. What a world we live in. [SanDisk Ultra 128GB USB 3.0 Flash Drive, $25]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/SanDisk-Ul...

New Groupon members (i.e.: just make a new account) can get a year of Xbox Live today for just $35 with promo code TENOFF. That’s the best price we’ve ever seen.

Update: Groupon’s sold out, but keep reading for a $38 option.

Don’t feel like going through the rigmarole of creating a new account? You can get it on eBay as well for $3 more.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1720791514...

The 43" model of the most popular 4K TV we’ve ever posted is all the way down to $350 today at Walmart, if you don’t mind buying a refurb. I don’t expect this to last long. [Refurb VIZIO M43-C1 4K Smart TV, $350]

http://www.walmart.com/ip/47904771

And if you want it brand new, Amazon’s it marked down to $488 for Prime members as well ($10 discount shown at checkout).

http://www.amazon.com/VIZIO-M43-C1-4...

If you use a desktop computer, a good UPS battery backup will keep it running without any interruption in the event of a power outage, which means you won’t lose any unsaved work. But even if you’re a laptop user, this could still run lamps, your router and modem, or anything else until the power comes back on. This particular model even includes some USB ports for charging your mobile devices. [APC Back-UPS Connect 84VA Battery Back-Up System for USB Devices, $90]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/APC-Back-U...

It’s a law of nature that no matter how many power outlets you have in your home, you will never have enough. Luckily, this six-outlet surge protector is just $21 right now, and it includes six USB ports for charging your mobile devices as well. [DBPOWER 6-Outlet Surge Protector With 6 USB Ports, $21 with code NKOSXO2J]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0156DT79A

Samsung’s 850 EVO is far and away the most popular mass market SSD out there, and you can save on two different capacities today.

SAMSUNG 850 EVO 2.5" 250GB SATA III 3-D Vertical Internal SSD ($76) | eBay

http://www.ebay.com/itm/3014339977...

SAMSUNG 850 EVO 2.5" 500GB SATA III 3-D Vertical Internal SSD ($150) | Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/Samsung-2-5-In...

You could pop one of these into this refurbished non-Retina MacBook Pro, and have yourself a very decent Apple laptop for not that much money. [Refurb Apple MacBook Pro 13.3" Core i5 2.3GHz, 4GB, 320GB, $515]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1214600041...

I admit that I was a little skeptical about the idea of a countertop compost bin, but reviewers indicate that its airtight design and replaceable filter really do keep odors contained, so this could be a great little purchase for anyone who likes to garden. [X-Chef Premium Stainless Steel Kitchen Waste Compost Collector 1.2 Gallon, $16]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B014R3WPJY

If you’re keeping tabs on your blood pressure, this 4.3 star rated digital monitor is on sale for just $25 on Amazon. The screen even changes colors to indicate hypertension or prehypertension. [Ozeri BP2M CardioTech Premium Series Digital Blood Pressure Monitor, $25. Clip 25% Off Coupon]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005FTK7F4/...

Jaybird makes some of the best Bluetooth earbuds on the market, and their X2 sport model is down to $128 on Amazon today, within a few bucks of an all-time low. Obviously, you can get a pair of Bluetooth earbuds these days for $20 or less, but this is a great deal if sound quality is a big concern. [Jaybird X2 Wireless Sweat-Proof Micro-Sized Bluetooth Sport Headphones, $128]

http://www.amazon.com/Wireless-Sweat...

Every modem rental fee you pay to your ISP is padding for their bottom line, and a total rip-off for you. Fortunately, you can buy your own modem for a relatively small upfront cost, and knock a few bucks off your monthly bill.

http://gizmodo.com/5948616/how-to...

There’s a general consensus that Motorola’s SB6141 is the best modem for most cable internet subscribers, but it usually runs in the $80-$90 range. Today only though, you can score a refurb from Woot for $45 shipped We’ve seen plenty of similar deals on the same model in the past, but never for less than $50. [Refurb Arris SB6141 DOCSIS 3.0 Cable Modem, $45]

http://computers.woot.com/offers/arris-s...

If you have a tax refund on the way, and want to spend it on an Xbox One, you’ve got two great deals to choose from today.

Xbox One 1TB 3-Game Holiday Bundle ($315) | eBay

http://www.ebay.com/itm/2915977001...

Refurb Microsoft Xbox One 500GB Console System With Kinect ($299) | Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P2XYRDQ/...

Pyrex bakeware is up there with knives and skillets on the totem pole of essential kitchen gear, and this three-pan set can be yours for just $12 today. [Pyrex 6-Piece Bake N’ Storage Value Pack, $12]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/2813397635...

Eneloops are your favorite rechargeable batteries (by a long shot), and this discounted 4-pack of AAs comes with a charger, making it perfect for testing the waters. The charger will work with AAA Eneloops as well, if you need some for your rotation. [4-Pack Eneloop AA Batteries With Charger, $16]

http://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-Adva...

http://co-op.kinja.com/the-best-recha...

If you missed out on Monday’s Mohu Leaf HDTV antenna deal, Amazon’s custom-branded alternative is marked down to $20 right now, an all-time low. Order quickly, and you may get it in time for the Super Bowl. [AmazonBasics HDTV Antenna, $20]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Not sure if this is right for you? Lifehacker has a great guide to get you started.

http://lifehacker.com/how-to-choose-...

You guys have bought a ton of these mounts from various manufacturers, but having tried a few of them, TechMatte’s is the one I keep in my own car. [TechMatted Smartphone Car Mount, $5 with code T89L8XQ6]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

If you don’t want to block a vent, there’s also a CD slot model available for $9. [Nekteck CD Slot Magnetic Phone Mount, $9 with code MKMAMIYV]

$15 Bluetooth keyboard aren’t particularly uncommon, but this iClever model is unique in offering a 7-color customizable backlight. In addition to just looking cool, that could come in handy if you’re trying to get some work done on a dark airplane, or while sitting in bed. [iClever 7-Color Backlit Bluetooth Keyboard, $15 with code LIWBC8VI]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...

While I definitely recommend owning a large USB battery pack for long trips and power outages, at $5, it wouldn’t hurt to own this pocket-sized model as well to use as a daily carry. [Poweradd Pilot X1 5200mAh Portable Charger Power Bank, $5 code E879NFK8]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DGJJNVO/...

We don’t frequently highlight individual articles of clothing, but this deal is too good to pass up. Tumi’s T-Tech Softshell jacket is simple, practical, and has great reviews around the web. Most stores sell it for $80 or more, but you can get one on eBay today in a few different colors for just $33 shipped. [T-Tech by Tumi Softshell Jacket, $33]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/3317649190...

We’ve seen more Bluetooth car kits than we could possibly count, but this one is unique in featuring a built-in headset. You can still take a call over your car’s speakers (assuming you have an AUX jack), but if you need to be more discrete, you can pop out the headset and transfer the call in seconds. [Omaker Hands-free Car Kit Bluetooth 4.0 Music Receiver Audio Adapter with Headset and Dual Port USB Car Charger & Magnetic Mount, $20 with code HL3LZWIO]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B017UASGDA

If you can’t afford an Oculus Rift and a computer to run it, this Google Cardboard-compatible View-Master headset only requires your phone, and can be yours for just $18 (if you’re a Prime member, that is). That’s only about two dollars less than its previous low price, but this is still one of the best “premium” Google Cardboard viewers out there. [Viewmaster VR With Google Cardboard Support, $18]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...

You can never have too many Lightning cables.

2-Pack RAVPower Lightning Cables ($8) | Amazon | Promo code 4BXRUCZZ

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

$20 is a very good price for any 20,000mAh USB battery pack, and this one actually includes a built-in solar panel to recharge itself. While that’s going to be much slower than recharging over microUSB, it can still top off the battery if you leave it out in the sun for a few hours, so it’s a nice little bonus. [ZeroLemon SolarJuice 20000mAh Fast Portable Charger with Solar Charging Technology, $20 with code Z36GZOGN]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NIOGKL8/...

This Bluetooth speaker might cost a bit more than others that we list, but having owned it for about a month now, I can tell you the the sound quality absolutely blows away my trusty Jawbone Jambox, and Anker isn’t exaggerating when it boasts about 24 hour battery life. [Anker SoundCore Dual-Driver Portable Bluetooth Speaker, $36 with code NKJTGELK]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B016XTADG2/...

Tech

Storage

• Sony 32gb Class 10 microSDHC Memory Card ($8) | Amazon
• SanDisk Ultra 256GB USB 3.0 Type A Flash Drive ($55) | eBay
• SanDisk Ultra 128GB USB 3.0 Flash Drive ($25) | eBay

Power

• APC Back-UPS Connect 84VA Battery Back-Up System for USB Devices ($90) | eBay
• Anypro 5 Pack High Speed Micro USB 2.0 Quick charge Cables ($6) | Amazon | Use code ANYPRO66
• DBPOWER 6-Outlet Surge Protector With 6 USB Ports ($21) | Amazon | Use code NKOSXO2J

Audio

• Jaybird X2 Wireless Sweat-Proof Micro-Sized Bluetooth Sport Headphones ($128) | Amazon
• Sennheiser HD 700 Headphones ($425) | Amazon
• Sylvania Premium Portable Bluetooth Rugged Garage Speaker ($11) | Walmart
• Refurb Beats Powerbeats In-Ear Wired Headphones ($60) | Amazon
• Refurb Jawbone JAMBOX Wireless Bluetooth Speaker ($50) | Amazon

Home Theater

• LG 60 Inch 4K Ultra HD Smart HDTV w/ $400 Gift Card ($1300) | Dell
• Samsung 40 inch 4K Ultra HD Smart LED TV ($450) | eBay
• TCL 50-Inch 1080p 120Hz Smart LED HDTV with Roku ($420) | Walmart
• Sony Premium Sound Bar and Wireless Subwoofer ($180) | Target

Computers & Accessories

• Refurb Apple MacBook Pro 13.3" Core i5 2.3GHz, 4GB, 320GB ($515) | eBay
• Toshiba 15.6" Satellite Laptop with Intel, 4GB, 500GB, Windows 10 ($260) | Walmart
• LG Electronics UM67 34UM67 34-Inch Screen LED-lit Monitor ($412) | Amazon
• Refurb Arris SB6141 DOCSIS 3.0 Cable Modem ($45) | Woot

PC Parts

• MSI GeForce GTX 950 DirectX 12 GTX 950 2GD5 OC 2GB 128-Bit GDDR5 Video Card ($120) | eBay
• SAMSUNG 850 EVO 2.5" 250GB SATA III 3-D Vertical Internal SSD ($76) | eBay
• SAMSUNG 850 EVO 2.5" 500GB SATA III 3-D Vertical Internal SSD ($150) | Amazon

Mobile Devices

• View-Master Virtual Reality Starter Pack ($18) | Amazon
• BLU - Studio 7.0 II 4G with 8GB Memory Cell Phone (Unlocked) ($100) | eBay
• Boost Mobile LG Volt 2 with 8GB Memory No-Contract Cell Phone ($50) | Best Buy
• HP Stream 8 Tablet 32GB Intel Atom Z3735G 1.8 GHz Win8.1 ($70) | eBay

Photography

• Canon T5i Camera with 18-55mm IS STM Lens, Bundle w/75-300mm F/4-5.6 III AF Lens ($449) | Adorama | After $350 Rebate
• Dolica LA600 Pro 60-Inch Aluminum Alloy Traveler Edition Tripod ($50) | Amazon Prime

Home

• 400ml Stainless Steel Automatic Soap Dispenser ($7) | eBay
• Seneo 3rd 100ml Essential Oil Diffusers ($20) | Amazon | Use code HM6DYSX7
• Craftsman Garage Opener Ultra Quiet Belt Drive, 3/4 HPS ($180) | Sears
• Graco Freeport Convertible Crib ($99) | Amazon
• simplehuman Mini Semi-Round Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 6 L / 1.6 Gal ($21) | Amazon
• simplehuman Profile Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, Plastic Lid, 10 L / 2.6 Gal ($25) | Amazon
• simplehuman Round Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 30 L / 7.9 Gal ($59) | Amazon
• simplehuman Butterfly Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 30 L / 7.9 Gal ($102) | Amazon
• simplehuman Semi-Round Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 40 L / 10.5 Gal ($119) | Amazon
• simplehuman Butterfly Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 45 L / 11.9 Gal ($136) | Amazon
• simplehuman Rectangular Step Trash Can Recycler, Stainless Steel, 46 L / 12.2 Gal ($153) | Amazon
  
• simplehuman Rectangular Step Trash Can, Stainless Steel, 50 L / 13.2 Gal ($153) | Amazon
  
• simplehuman 8 oz. Sensor Pump with Soap Sample, Brushed Nickel ($34) | Amazon
  
• simplehuman Steel Frame Dishrack with Wine Glass Holder, Stainless Steel ($68) | Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LFP5ZF4/...

Kitchen

• New Metro Design Beater Blade for KitchenAid Tilt-Head Models, 4.5 and 5 Quart ($11) | Amazon
• PUR 7 Cup Ultimate Pitcher with LED Indicator ($20) | Amazon
• Pyrex 6 Piece Bake N’ Storage Value Pack ($12) | eBay
• Mr. Coffee 91407.02 Flintshire Stainless Steel Whistling Tea Kettle, 1.75-Quart ($10) | Amazon
• Misto Brushed Aluminum Olive Oil Sprayer ($7) | Amazon
• Zevro KCH-06071 Indispensable Sugar ‘N More Dispenser ($8) | Amazon
• Star Wars Darth Vader Character Apron ($11) | Amazon
• BEABA Babycook Pro 2X ($160) | Amazon
• BEABA Babycook Pro ($120) | Amazon
• X-Chef Premium Stainless Steel Kitchen Waste Compost Collector 1.2 Gallon ($16) | Amazon
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Female nudity mods, Fallout 4 already has covered. Male nudity mods are a whole other story, though.

When I last spoke to Fallout 4 modders, they alleged that making nudity mods for male characters was more difficult than female nudity mods. A month later, it seems that some progress has been made, though it’s coming slowly.

NSFW images ahead!

So far, I’ve only been able to find two dick-specific mods for Fallout 4. There’s “Immersive wasteland streaking,” which was made by foreverasir. It looks like this:

And there’s also “Penis Envy,” created by foreverasir:

And while not purely a dick mod, there’s also ”Enhanced Vanilla Bodies” by Leito86. (Thanks for pointing this one out, Kotaku commenters!)

Schlongs of Skyrim, eat your heart out!

No but seriously though, the fact that people are finding ways to make their games naughtier isn’t what is interesting here. Rather, it’s curious to look at the technical difficulties Fallout 4 penis modders are running into along the way, as they try to graft dongs into a game that never intended to have them.

“An issue still is that the dick, because it is put on the pelvis bone, is resized as the character is rezised,” foreverasir wrote on the Penis Envy mod description. “This means that a large character would have a stretched out dick.”

Fortunately, foreverasir does have a suggestion for players who try out this mod.

“If you are playing a large character, you could try a smaller size, or perhaps a flaccid one. The big erect one looks weird in those cases.”

Getting to this point was a gauntlet onto itself. Foreverasir notes that, in an earlier version of the mod, “crouching [would] result in a deformed penis.”

Users have run into some hilarious issues along the way, too:

Immersive Wasteland Streaking has run into different problems altogether, all of which have to do with how the dick is created. While it’s not immediately noticible, the “immersive” wang in the first picture of this post is actually just a flat texture put over the character’s crotch. What this means is that the character in the first picture in this post isn’t actually naked. He just looks naked, thanks to modding trickery. But really, the only way the mod can work is if the character wears a belt the entire way through.

For now, it seems that modders have to make some concessions as they figure out the ins and outs of dick mods. But hey, for players who really want to let it all hang in Fallout 4? This is still better than nothing:

Contact the author at patricia@kotaku.com.

It sometimes feels like Mars, Pluto, and planets beyond our solar system get all the attention. But let’s be real: Earth is the best goddamn planet period. And in case you’d forgotten it, this brilliant timelapse of the Mojave desert at night ought to remind you.

MOJAVE BLUES was shot and edited by astrophotographer Harun Mehmedinovic. It’s part of Project SKYGLOW, an ongoing collaboration between Mehmedinovic and Gavin Heffernan, who are traveling the country, discovering serene, beautiful, and under-appreciated landscapes that offer glorious views of the night sky.

The essential point of SKYGLOW is to raise awareness of urban light pollution. But this video in particular—which features an exploding meteorite and a rare flash of zodiacal light—does so much more. It reminds us that the sum total of our existence is contained on a speck of rock floating in a vast starry ocean.

Sure, we can block out those stars with technology, but we’re doing ourselves a disservice. A liveable, breathable planet from which we can witness all the wonders of the cosmic landscape? That sounds like the best spot in the universe.

Follow the author @themadstone

Top image: A meteorite streaks past a powerline over the Mojave. In the video, you can see it explode into a puff of smoke! Via Harun Mehmedinovic

SPLOID is delicious brain candy. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

‘Tis the season for Girl Scout cookies, and everyone’s buzzing about a new guide from the folks behind the Vivino wine app, suggesting 12 wines to pair with 12 different types of Girl Scout cookies. Really? We were skeptical, so Gizmodo actually drank wine with Thin Mints and Trefoils. For you.

Welcome to Gizmodo’s Happy Hour. Substance abuse for nerds.

There is a science to food and wine pairings. Wine has four essential components: acidity, tannin, alcohol, and sweetness (or the lack thereof). Those same components are also found in foods. So when it comes to pairing wines with various foods, the idea is to find flavor profiles that complement each other, either through contrasting elements, or matching similar ones. “You’re basically looking for same or opposite,” Chicago-based sommelier Julia Burke told Gizmodo.

We asked a helpful young staffer named Jasper at Silver Lake Wine in Los Angeles to pick out five wines, loosely based on the Vivino guide, to pair with Trefoils, Samoas, Do-Si-Dos, Thin Mints, and Tagalongs (these are, in our humble opinion, the only good cookies). Then we rounded up five people to participate in a cookie-and-wine pairing taste test: Gia Mora, actor/singer; Sera Trimble, stunt car driver; Karen Gorostieta; Gizmodo science editor Jennifer Ouellette (yours truly); and Sean Carroll, Caltech physicist. (Full disclosure: Carroll is my husband.)

So how did each cookie-and-wine pairing fare? Here are our rankings, from best to worst.

Trefoils with 2013 Rudolf Furst Riesling

This was by far the best match-up, featuring a crisp, light Riesling that wasn’t cloyingly sweet. Everyone was unanimous about how well the buttery simplicity of this simple shortbread cookie paired with the wine.

“Riesling is known for its acidity, as well as a sweetness to balance that out,” Burke said. That acidity cuts through the fat and butter that forms the base of the shortbread cookie—a contrasting element—but the tinge of residual sugar in the wine matches the cookie’s sweetness. A light sparkling rosé might also pair well with a Trefoil, so long as you avoid the super-dry (Brut) bottles.

Samoas with 2007 R. Lopez de Heredia Rioja Crianza Vina Cubillo

It has to be said: this was not a very good Rioja. As Gorostieta observed, “This is more of a table wine for the end of the party when you’re already drunk.” But something magical happened when we took a bite of Samoa cookie, followed by a Rioja chaser. The cookie brought out notes of coconut, cloves, and cinnamon in an otherwise undrinkable wine, making it pleasantly palatable. That’s the genius of a really good pairing.

Burke wasn’t surprised at all by this. “Spanish wines use American oak, which has a distinctive coconut flavor,” she said, along with notes of cinnamon and clove. “The Samoa has that same coconut flavor, so it’s going to draw out the nicer aspects of the Rioja.”

Do-Si-Dos with 2014 Rhythm Bike Path Zinfandel

Here’s a pairing that will take you straight back to the beloved flavors of childhood. The combination of a young, very jammy Zinfandel and the “straight-up peanut butter bomb” (per Carroll) of the Do-Si-Do tastes just like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And no fancy organic peanut butter and artisanal jam, either. We’re talking Jiff and Welch’s grape jelly.

Burke said it’s the low tannins and big juicy fruit flavor of the Zinfandel that makes this combination work. A California Grenache might be good too.

Thin Mints with 2010 Azienda Agricola La Torre Brunello di Montacino

Our luck had to run out eventually, and this proved to be our first miss, even though the Brunello was everyone’s favorite wine on its own. And who doesn’t love a good Thin Mint? But together, they were disastrous. Some tasters reacted more strongly than others: “It makes my tastebuds angry,” Trimble declared, while Mora said the first bite “sent me into sour convulsions.” The overall effect was unpleasantly similar to toothpaste and orange juice.

According to Burke, this is a case of flavor profiles that are too similar to be complementary. “There’s nothing in chocolate that balances wine,” she said. She has found that chocolate works best with port: “It’s a sweet, high-alcohol fortified wine with a lot of complexity and residual sugar that can stand up to the cookie instead of bouncing up against it like a sad, deflated ball.”

The strong mint flavor in the cookie further complicates matters. “It’s not an easy flavor to pair,” Burke admitted. She recommended trying a port or sweet Lambrusco with a Thin Mint. “Or beer. There’s always beer.”

Tagalongs with 2008 Piovesole Amarone Della Valpolicella Classica

One word: blech. This was the only pairing that made both wine and cookie taste worse—the opposite of what you want to happen.

The culprit here may have been the salt in the peanut butter clashing with the high tannins in the otherwise excellent Amarone. “Salt and tannins don’t play nicely together,” Burke said. “Try some bar peanuts and watch how fast they kill your wine. If there’s a lot of tannin in your wine, the salt will find it.” She recommended a sweet ice wine to pair with saltier fare.

So three of the five pairings worked surprisingly well. We found that the cheaper wines ($20-$25 range) worked better with the cookies than the pricier bottles (~$70). There’s a good reason for this, according to Burke. “Cheaper wines tend to have a small amount of residual sugar, as well as softeners like sorbitol and glycerol, while higher-end wines are almost always completely dry,” she said. “The general rule of thumb with pairing wines and desserts is that the wine should be sweeter than the dessert.”

Other possible pairings include matching Lemonades with a crisp, citrusy Prosecco. And Malbecs are a surprisingly good match for several types of Girl Scout cookies. They’re like the Goldilocks of wines: just enough tannin, sugar, and acidity to be really flexible for food pairings.

But when it comes to pairing Thin Mints and Tagalongs, take our advice and stick with milk.

[Check out more cookie-wine pairings in the Los Angeles Times]

Augmented reality artist Marty Cooper is back with his always fun Aug(de)mented Reality series that splices imaginative little drawings of cute monsters into real life. They’re always so clever and up to no good, popping out of places you’d least expect them to and doing things with so much pizazz that you’d wish they were almost real (not really but almost!).

SPLOID is delicious brain candy. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Refurbished TiVos, an $85 Garmin fitness watch, and a cheap electric shaver lead off Saturday’s best deals. Bookmark Kinja Deals and follow us on Twitter to never miss a deal. Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click hereto learn more.

If you already own a TiVo, you can access your saved shows and live TV in any other room (ethernet or MOCA connection required) with these discounted TiVo Minis, no service fee required.

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Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Send deal submissions to Deals@Gawker, click here to learn more.

This is a powerful, horrifying short film that utterly captured my attention over the eight or so minutes that it runs. It’s quiet, beautiful and haunting, all at once.

I think what struck me the most is just how powerful silence is: there’s no dialogue at all, but it’s even more effective with just actress Kristen DeGree and her natural surroundings.

Apollo 14 astronaut Edgar Mitchell passed away on February 4th, on the eve of the 45th anniversary of his mission to the moon. He was 85 years old.

Mitchell was born on September 17th, 1930 in Hereford Texas, and later attended the Carnegie Institute of Technology, where he studied Industrial Management. Following his graduation in 1952, he joined the US Navy, where he became a pilot, flying A3 aircraft off of aircraft carriers USS Bon Homme Richard and USS Ticonderoga and later became a test pilot.

In 1957, the Soviet Union launched Sputnik into orbit, and Mitchell realized that that he wanted the same thing: to go into space:

I made the decision in 1957, when Sputnik went up. I was on a carrier in the Pacific, just about to come back to the States for some test pilot work, and when Sputnik went up I realized humans were going to be right behind it, so I started orienting my career toward that at that time.

That prompted him to go back to school, where he earned another degree in Aeronautical Engineering from the Navy’s Post Graduate School in 1961. from there, he attended MIT and earned his Doctorate of Science (ScD) in Aeronautics and Astronautics in 1964.

In 1966, NASA selected Mitchell to train as an astronaut as part of Astronaut Group 5. Amongst his classmates were Vance D. Brand (who later flew on the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project), Charles Duke (Apollo 16), Fred Haise Jr. (Apollo 13), James Irwin (Apollo 15), Kenneth Mattingly (Apollo 16), Bruce McCandless (Challenger and Discovery mission specialist), John Swigert (Apollo 13), and others.

Well, when we first came in, were first selected in our group, we had a choice—rather, we had the right to state a preference for what technical assignment would we like, and there were lists of technical assignments, concentrating on the lunar module, concentrating on the command module, concentrating on the ancillary equipment like suits and other equipment, and I don’t remember them all at this point. But I chose to request lunar module as being my prime technical assignment, and I got that assignment.

Following his training, Mitchell was designated as the backup Lunar Module Pilot for Apollo 10. He originally joined astronaut Alan Shepard Jr. (Commander) and Stuart A. Roosa (Command Module Pilot) for the crew of Apollo 13, only to have their mission bumped to Apollo 14 to give Shepard more time to train.

Apollo 14 launched on January 31st, 1971, and headed for the Fra Mauro highlands, the original destination for the aborted Apollo 13 mission. Shepard and Mitchell landed on the moon on February 5th, and Mitchell became the 6th person to walk on the lunar surface. There, they performed a pair of spacewalks: during the first, they deployed several scientific experiments and equipment, while on the second, they attempted to find the rim of the Cone Crater to collect samples. This walk was cut short when flight controllers became alarmed at how strenuous their EVA had become. Unbeknownst to them, they came within 20 meters of their target.

The mission was a major scientific success, however: while the astronauts set records for the EVA times, they brought back a 94 pounds of samples from the lunar surface, which were used in countless experiments back on Earth.

Despite their scientific work, Apollo 14 became more famous for other activities: Shepard brought along a golf club and a pair of balls to take a couple swings, while Mitchell threw a javelin (a lunar scoop handle).

The pair left from the lunar surface on February 6th, and returned home, splashing down three days later in the Pacific Ocean. Years after his return, Mitchell ruminated on his experiences for NASA’s Oral History project:

Yes. That’s a powerful experience, and to me, that was the culmination of my being, and what can I learn from this? What is it we are learning. That’s important, because I think what we’re trying to do is discover ourselves and our place in the cosmos, and we don’t know. We’re still looking for that. And that was a major effort. Even though we might have talked in technological and political terms and financial terms and how many billions of bucks are we spending, the real purpose is to find ourselves and our place in the larger scheme of things.

The spaceflight would be Mitchell’s only one: while he served as backup LMP for Apollo 16, he retired from NASA and the Navy in 1972. He became a proponent of paranormal phenomena and Unidentified Flying Objects, claiming to have an psychic experience on his ride back to Earth. He later founded the Institute of Noetic Sciences, and became a business consultant.

With Mitchell’s passing, the entirety of the Apollo 14 crew are now gone: Shepard died in 1998 from leukemia, while Roosa passed away in 1994 from pancreatitis. It also marks the first time that an entire lunar crew has passed away, and only seven of the moon walkers are still alive.

In a statement following Mitchell’s passing, NASA Administrator Charles Bolden noted:

“Edgar spoke poetically about seeing our home planet from the moon saying: ‘Suddenly, from behind the rim of the moon, in long, slow-motion moments of immense majesty, there emerges a sparkling blue and white jewel, a light, delicate sky-blue sphere laced with slowly swirling veils of white, rising gradually like a small pearl in a thick sea of black mystery. It takes more than a moment to fully realize this is Earth … home.’

[Palm Beach Post, CollectSpace, NASA]

Man, look at the hair on the official LEGO minifigures for the all-new, all-female Ghostbusters. Kevin, get out of the shot. Kevin? GET OUT OF THE SHOT, KEVIN.

Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones will hit the big screen in Paul Feig’s reboot of the classic comedy franchise on July 15. but before that they’ll star in LEGO’s Ghostbusters Ecto 1 & 2 set, launching July 1.

The set features all four Ghostbusters in minifigure form and a red demon figure.

All that plus an excellent model of the new Ecto 1, capable of seating all four Ghostbusters, and that’s it. Just the four Ghostbusters. Screw you, Kevin.

Look at all of that room! You could almost fit an entire other person in there.

Almost. Sorry, Kevin. You’ll have to walk. Or maybe just stay at the base and answer the phones. You are the receptionist, after all.

Here’s the Ecto 2, a new vehicle included in the WHAT THE HELL, KEVIN!? WHO IS ANSWERING THE PHONES?

The LEGO Ghostbusters Ecto 1 & Go To Hell Kevin set hits stores on July 1 for $59.99.

To contact the author of this post write to fahey@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial.

Hey, remember when we told you about those rumors that physicists may have finally found gravitational waves? It’s been pretty quiet since then, but yesterday fresh rumors surfaced that yes, the discovery is real. And we could have an official announcement by February 11.

Gravitational waves are faint ripples in the fabric of spacetime, first predicted by Albert Einstein as a consequence of his general theory of relativity. Move a large mass very suddenly—or have two massive objects (like black holes) suddenly collide, or a supernova explode—and you would create those ripples, much like tossing a stone in a still pond. The more massive the object, the more it will churn the surrounding spacetime, and the stronger the gravitational waves it should produce. We just haven’t had the technology to detect those waves directly — until now.

http://gizmodo.com/rumors-are-fly...

The recently upgraded LIGO (Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory) has been hunting for these signals, and last month, physicist Lawrence Krauss tweeted that he’d heard rumors that the collaboration had finally succeeded. Krauss took some heat for blabbing from a few of his colleagues, and LIGO team leaders were quick to advise patience while remaining noncommittal about the veracity of those rumors.

“My response to you is no more or less than the official one, which is the truth: ‘We are analyzing 01 data and will share news when ready.’ I’d say that it is wisest to just be patient,”Alan Weinstein, who heads the LIGO group at Caltech, told Gizmodo at the time.

This time the blabbermouth is Clifford Burgess, a theoretical physicist at McMaster University in Hamilton, Canada, and the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics in Waterloo. He sent an email to his entire department at McMaster, reporting that the LIGO team had found a telltale signal indicative of two large black holes merging. The signal is real, and it’s “spectacular.”

Per Adrian Cho at Science:

The statistical significance of the signal is supposedly very high, exceeding the “five-sigma” standard that physicists use to distinguish evidence strong enough to claim discovery. LIGO consists of two gargantuan optical instruments called interferometers, with which physicists look for the nearly infinitesimal stretching of space caused by a passing gravitational wave. According to Burgess’s email, both detectors spotted the black hole merger with the right time delay between them.

Naturally, a screen cap of that “Woohoo!” email found its way onto Twitter, igniting a fresh round of excitement and consternation.

So it seems physicists suck at keeping secrets just like everyone else. When asked why he sent an email to his entire fricking department, Burgess told Science that he wanted to share his excitement at the news with students in particular. “It’s one of those big events where the students may be a little bored by what they are doing in class but they may be excited by this,” he said.

It looks like we should know for sure by next week if the rumors are true. Or maybe LIGO is just trolling us, and will announce a null result, cackling with glee at having gotten everyone all riled up. My money’s on the former.

http://gizmodo.com/heres-why-find...

[Via Science]

Image: R. Hurt - Caltech / JPL

This is pretty cool news: the Korean director of Oldboy, Park Chan-wook, is looking to adapt Project Itoh’s 2007 novel Genocidal Organ.

Here’s the description of the book:

The war on terror exploded, literally, the day Sarajevo was destroyed by a homemade nuclear device. The leading democracies transformed into total surveillance states, and the developing world has drowned under a wave of genocides. The mysterious American John Paul seems to be behind the collapse of the world system, and it’s up to intelligence agent Clavis Shepherd to track John Paul across the wreckage of civilizations, and to find the true heart of darkness—a genocidal organ.

This looks like it could be a really neat film. Given the relative critical success of another Japanese science fiction novel, All You Need Is Kill, which was turned into Edge of Tomorrow, seeing more Japanese science fiction novels turned into films would be a trend we could get behind. (We’d love to see Gene Mapper turned into a film)

[Tracking Board, via TwitchFilm]

Marvel put together an awesome re-imagining of Avengers heroes and villains as college students. They recruited top notch voice talent like Alison Brie, Colton Haynes and John Cena. All that design work and talent for a glorified Simpson: Tapped Out clone.

Look at this key art.

I would watch that cartoon. I would read that comic. Up until I got my hands on Avengers Academy, launched this week on iOS and Android, I was chomping at the bit to play the game. I was excited.

Then Marvel and TinyCo announced the voice cast, and I was even more excited. Just look at this cast!

Unikitty as Black Widow!

TV’s Arsenal as Thor!

That girl from that thing as Wasp!

Anyone at all as Tigra, and not just because she’s a cat girl (but mainly that).

JOHN CENA AS HULK. Yeah, that one deserved all caps.

With those amazing designs and this awesome cast, how could this game not be spectacular?

And then I played the game. I am no longer excited.

The launch trailer for Avengers Academy contains no gameplay. The press assets I was directed to for Avengers Academy contained no gameplay shots. This makes sense, as there’s not a lot of gameplay in Avengers Academy.

The game is a series of timed missions. Complete timed missions to earn gold and items to unlock new characters to participate in even more timed missions. In the screenshot above we see Tony Start automatically running to sit in a chair for eight hours after I pushed a button. I have other missions to complete requiring the same building, but I cannot use them until Tony is done sitting there for eight hours. Yay.

Within the first 20 minutes of playing I received a mission to unlock Vision! Yay!

Oh. They want me to buy Vision. For almost $20 worth of in-game currency. The mission went away after a couple of days, but still screw that.

It makes me sad to see so much effort going into creating this colorful new corner of the Avengers universe, only to have all of it applied to one of the laziest of all mobile game genres. As much as I love seeing Hank Pym at Giant Man size watching young adult Tony Stark playing with test tubes, the idea of grinding non-interactive missions for days to see more cool things I can’t play doesn’t seem like fun.

To contact the author of this post write to fahey@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial.