On December 14, 1972, astronaut Eugene Cernan stepped up onto the lunar module, shook the moon dust off these boots, and ended an era of human exploration of the Moon.

December 13, 1972: Eugene Cernan stands near a rock overhang. The equipment is a gnomon and photometric chart, a tool to provide photographic reference to local vertical sun angle, scale, and lunar color Image credit: NASA/Harrison Schmitt

Today marks the end of Harrison Schmitt and Eugene Cernan’s three days exploring Taurus-Littrow for Apollo 17. These extravehicular activity boots were specifically designed for Cernan. They fit over the boots integrated into the base spacesuit, adding an extra layer of protection against thermal extremes and sharp moon rocks. Manufactured by International Latex Corporation, the boots have a silicone sole with woven stainless steel uppers, and are equipped with additional layers of beta cloth and beta felt. They seal with velcro.

September 6, 1972: Schmitt [left] and Cernan [right] practicing techniques during a geological field trip to Lunar Crater, a volcanic crater near Pancake Range in Nevada. Image credit: NASA

The scientifically-intense Apollo 17 mission sampled lunar highland materials, and was the only mission to make field geophysics investigations into the Moon’s gravity field and electrical properties. Cernan and Schmitt are also infamous for repairing the broken fender on their lunar rover with a map and duct tape.

The boots have been a part of the human spaceflight collection at the National Air and Space Museum since 1974.

Top image: The outer EV boots worn by Eugene Cernan during the Apollo 17 moon landing. Image credit: National Air and Space Museum

Contact the author at mika.mckinnon@io9.com or follow her at @MikaMcKinnon.

It’s been just four years since we last visited J.K. Rowling’s magical world on the big screen, but it feels like much longer. And while this first trailer for the prequel series Fantastic Beasts doesn’t have much to it, it’s our first glimpse at what it’s going to be like being back in this world—just with more American accents.

There’s not much to it other than a brief rundown of what to expect—Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne)’s suitcase full of dangerous magical creatures has had a minor leakage, and now he’s got to hunt down the escapees across 1920s New York—but it certainly is exciting and strange to be returning to the land of all things Potter. Even if it’s not quite as familiar as it was before. Seriously, all those American accents! It is a little strange at first after years of incredibly British magic shenanigans.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them hits theatres November 2016.

In kind of a flip-flop of how these things usually unfold, Showtime’s Victorian England-set horror drama Penny Dreadful—which will unveil its third season in 2016—will jump from the screen to the page, courtesy of a Titan Comics series penned by the series’ scriptwriters.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the first book is due in spring 2016; it will feature characters familiar to fans of the show, and will be written by Chris King, Krysty Wilson-Cairns, and Andrew Hinderaker, with art by Louie De Martinis (Heavy Metal).

Titan Comics is no stranger to turning TV shows into comics, THR also notes, with existing series based on Doctor Who, Heroes Reborn, and The Blacklist. Plus, it’s also in the movies-into-comics biz, with Independence Day: Resurgence getting the prequel treatment (with some very rad covers; see the post below) ahead of the film’s release next year.

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Top photo via the official Penny Dreadful Instagram page.

Chinese giant salamanders are incredible amphibious beasts that look more like monsters from a movie than something that could exist in real life on this here Earth. They are comically huge, like brown boulder-sized beings who are unaware of how big they are. This one, discovered outside a cave near Chongqing, China, is over 4 and a half feet long and weighs nearly 115 pounds. Experts believe that it may be around 200 years old.

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Back in 2013, I took on the unsavory, festive world of Hallmark ornaments. What I found, of course, rocked our nation to its core, but Hallmark’s onslaught of holiday WTF-ery did not end there. As such, I have updated our exposé of the company’s most unfortunate and upsetting ornaments.

1) Star Wars Holiday Darth Vader

When I first wrote this list in 2013, I included an ornament of Vader wearing a Santa cap, offering a present in his outstretched hands. How could one of cinema’s greatest villains look less menacing? I wondered. Hallmark has answered me: by putting him in a ridiculous Christmas sweater—a sweater that, thanks to its sculpting, makes it look vaguely like Vader is wearing a large holiday bib. In full disclosure, I personally would totally wear this sweater, but I am also very much not a Dark Lord of the Sith.

http://shop.hallmark.com/ornaments/keep...

2) Twilight: Breaking Dawn Edward and Bella’s Wedding

I would think that any ornament commemorating the Twilight movies and their ridiculous, obsequious love story would be disturbing enough. However, remember in Twilight the main reason the 18-year-old Bella and 100+-year-old Edward marry is so they can finally bone each other in the sanctity of wedlock. A boning which, it must always be remembered, leads directly to a magic demon fetus clawing its way out of Bella’s stomach, fatally injuring her, and forcing Edward to turn her into a member of the sparkling undead lest she pass away completely. Ho ho ho!

3) Musical Jolly Old St. Pickolas

This ornament is bad, and the Hallmark employee who ordered it should feel bad. It’s not just because it exists solely because of a dumb, thoroughly horrible pun that is doesn’t even have the minor dignity of using a homophone like “Santa Claus.” It’s awful because they couldn’t even bother to make St. Pickolas here look like a goddamn pickle. What pickle is that shade of light green? What avocado is that squat, or has that wide a base? This isn’t a pickle, it’s a moldy old pear having an identity crisis.

4) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk: The Needs of the Many

I’ve discussed this ornament before, when it was first announced, because it’s just so amazing. What says Christmas more than watching Leonard Nimoy die slowly and horribly of radiation poisoning while wearing an oven mitt? Nothing, that’s what. Bonus points to Hallmark for sculpting that outstanding beatific expression on Kirk’s face—you could pop the good captain off this ornament and place him right next to Baby Jesus’ manger and he’d look just as appropriate.

http://shop.hallmark.com/ornaments/keep...

5) Halloween Hangin’ with Count Snoopy

Okay, this is a goddamned Halloween ornament. What the fuck are you trying to pull, Hallmark?

6) Predator

I understand that Hallmark makes good money just making mediocre sculptures of every semi-popular pop culture franchise that has ever existed, but now that they’ve gotten to R-rated horror flicks from the ‘80s the company is really just reaching now. Seriously, will 2016’s offering include a Pinhead from Hellraiser ornament? What about the severed-head-spider creature from The Thing? Where does it stop?!

http://shop.hallmark.com/ornaments/keep...

7) Looney Tunes: Me No Angel!

Aaaaand the Looney Tunes’ Tazmanian Devil is dead. Why wouldn’t you want to commemorate his demise on your tree? My favorite part is his expression; this is not the look of a creature that died peacefully of natural causes. No, he died young, and he’s still pissed about it. I’d bet anything Bugs Bunny murdered him. Still, for a species actually called “devils,” I’d think he’d be more pleasantly surprised about getting to go to heaven.

8) “Let’s Get It On”

This ornament has a sound chip which plays—and I swear I am not making this up—Marvin Gaye’s sexual anthem “Let’s Get It on.” Meaning Hallmark has made an ornament of a Gingerbread man and a glass of milk getting ready to make passionate, sweaty love to each other. Oh my god, is this what allowing gay marriage has led us to?! The Tea Party was right!!!

9) A Christmas Story I Shot My Eye Out!

Hey, remember in the beloved holiday movie A Christmas Story when the parents gave their son a BB gun and then let him play with it completely unsupervised and the boy briefly thought he’d accidentally shot himself in the eye, thus ruining half his vision for the remainder of his life? Ha ha! Good times. Remember all the fun times you let your children play with firearms with this festive holiday ornament.

10) Dukes of Hazzard Jumpin’ General Lee

Hallmark Jr. Exec: “Sir, we have a problem.”

Hallmark Exec: “What is it?”

Hallmark Jr. Exec: “It’s Dukes of Hazzard, sir. It’s next on our list of ‘80s franchises to receive an ornament, but we’re having a problem figuring out what ornament to do.”

Hallmark Exec: “The car, duh. The General Lee.”

Hallmark Jr. Exec: “Well, yes sir. But you may remember that the car has the Confederate flag on its top, and the team doesn’t know whether we should include it or not. Obviously we can’t sell anything with a Confederate flag on it…”

Hallmark Exec: “…but if we don’t include the flag then the Southern racists who are the ornament’s primary demographic won’t buy it anyways. Hmm.”

Hallmark Jr. Exec: “Exactly, sir.”

Hallmark Exec: “Okay, here’s what we do. We have the car bursting through a roadside sign, okay? But near the bottom of the sign, where there’s a little ledge.”

Hallmark Jr. Exec: “Okay…”

Hallmark Exec: “And that ledge covers the entire roof of the car, where the flag would be. So people can’t tell whether the flag is technically there or not there. Problem solved!”

Hallmark Jr. Exec: “Sir, I’m sorry but I think the only signs with those ledges are those giant billboards, which—“

Hallmark Exec: “Steve, we have an ornament of a gingerbread man who wants to fuck a sexy glass of milk. Don’t overthink this.”

11) What Happens at Granma’s Stays at Granma’s

Either Granma lives in Las Vegas or it is tremendously easy to hire a prostitute at Granma’s. The subtly depraved photo included in this product picture doesn’t help.

12) Winnie the Pooh: Everything Is Honey

We all know Winnie the Pooh likes his honey, although I imagine most of us assumed he only enjoyed eating it. Not so! He also likes pouring it over his body and wallowing in it! He likes letting it seep between his fingers and toes and ass cheeks! While in a bee costume! Just look at the smile on his face. There’s only one reason someone sitting in a pool of sticky honey would be beaming like that, and that’s because the sensation is providing him an orgiastic pleasure that most people never even dream of. Given Pooh’s well-documented love of honey, it’s clearly the only logical explanation. Unless, of course, Pooh is a urophiliac and he’s actually playing in a puddle of urine.

Contact the author at rob@io9.com.

We got a brief glimpse at Hot Toys figures for Batman v Superman yesterday, but now the company has released a full look at the Dark Knight and Man of Steel, and—nope. Can’t do it any more. Have to say it. LOOK AT THE GODDAMN SIZE OF BATMAN’S NECK, HOLY COW.

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Seriously. I get that Ben Affleck’s Batman, inspired by the slab of meat that was Frank Miller’s iconic interpretation of the character in The Dark Knight Returns, is meant to be this big, beefy guy who can really rough someone up. But the neck on this figure just looks inhuman. I can’t tell if it’s the actual size, or the material of Batman’s cowl billowing out and creating an unfortunate effect, but it just looks so weirdly cartoonish. It’s an effect that stands out even more considering the level of detail going on with the rest of the toy.

Aside from his massive Bat-Neck, the 1:6 scale Batman comes with a few extra goodies. The usual bonus hands to grip and pose are included, as is a selection of batarangs, a bat-symbol brand, a grappling hook launcher, and an item that looks an awful lot like a gun, but probably isn’t a gun, because Batman. The special edition of the figure comes with a Sniper rifle as well, because oh what the hell Batman you’re meant to hate guns. On top of that, the toy also comes with three replacement sets of eyes and mouths to slot into the head to emote your Batman however you see fit.

I’m going to be honest. I shared this picture rather than any other just to show the petrifying creepiness of the little sets of Ben Affleck eyes and mouths splayed across a surface. As creepy as that neck is gigantic!

Meanwhile, the Man of Steel himself fares a bit better than Batman, simply because he doesn’t have a neck that could span the entirety of Belgium. Just as the updates between Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: They Put Batman In My Own Sequel, Goddammit’s looks for Superman are incremental, so are the differences between this Superman figure and the one Hot Toys released for Man of Steel a few years ago.

The colors are a little brighter, Superman’s headsculpt itself is a little sterner (and has slicker hair), but otherwise this Clark Kent is pretty much the Clark Kent that was out before in terms of detail and overall appearance. But with shiny new branding!

Unlike Batman and his myriad wonderful toys, Superman is a bit more sparsely accessorized—all he has is a set of extra hands to pose him ready to fly or punch the bejesus out of someone. However, the special edition version of the figure does come with one neat addition: an LED-powered glowing hunk of Kryptonite. It’s a nice little extra, but also, probably a bit weird for Superman to come with a whacking great chunk of the one thing that can weaken him? Poor fella seems like he’s got the short end of the stick, even without being marred by a giant neck.

No pricing details have been released just yet, but both Batman and Superman will, as usual, be available to preorder from Sideshow Collectibles shortly—expect the usual price of around $225 per figure ahead of their release in the middle of next year.

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We were cruising at around 10,000 feet, somewhere above the Midwest, when two pizza-shaped antennas on top of the plane finally connected with the satellite. Within seconds, I was streaming a movie on Netflix in full HD while the man next to me waved at his iPhone.

Our in-flight wifi, I realized, was faster than my apartment’s internet. But it was only a test. This was no ordinary plane.

A Press Trip

A few weeks ago I got a strange invitation. Gogo, the pioneer of in-flight wifi, wanted to fly me to Chicago so that I could test the company’s latest technology. I’d read about the so-called 2Ku system months before, when I was writing a story about how wifi worked on planes, and it sounded impressive. Gogo claims that its new dual antenna, satellite-based setup can offer peak speeds of 70-megabits-per-second. That’s fast enough to support both zippy web browsing and streaming from services that are typically impossible to use during a flight.

I said yes to the junket, but I was a little confused. Would I get to fly to Chicago on a plane already equipped with 2Ku? That seemed unlikely, since the system won’t roll out until 2016. (Aeromexico was the first airline to commit.) Subsequent planning revealed that I’d fly to Chicago on a very ordinary United jet, and we’d be escorted to a small airport in Gary, Indiana, where Gogo keeps a 737 test plane in a hangar. For the test, we’d fly in a circle above Lake Michigan and try out the company’s new internet.

Gogo paid for my travel and put me up in a hotel. I flew out of Laguardia and used the United-branded in-flight wifi on the way to Chicago. It was as terrible as you’d expect, and I later learned that the airline uses Gogo technology. Of course, this was not the test. This was the reality of connecting to the internet from 30,000 feet. Amazing, but wildly imperfect.

A Quick History of In-Flight Wifi

Gogo was one of the first companies to start connecting planes back in the early 90s, when it was called Aircell. At the time, of course, wifi was still a few years away, and the company was focused on putting phones in the backs of headrests, a lofty goal given that cell phones were the size of bricks.

The basic principle that guided the early days of Aircell still powers the majority of Gogo’s in-flight wifi networks. Carefully positioned cell towers on the ground beam a signal up to planes. This so-called air-to-ground (ATG) technology and its successor, ATG-4 technology, can’t support very much bandwidth and is prone to outages. As any given flight moves across the country, it connects to new towers, which can briefly cause the internet to cut out. As the “G” in the name suggests, the ATG systems won’t work on flights over bodies of water.

Here’s one of Gogo’s (rather bulky) pivoting antennas for Ka-band satellites

A few years ago, Gogo and others started offering internet service through pivoting antennas on the tops of planes that would connect to Ka-band satellites. The latest in-flight wifi technology connects to Ku-band satellites, the same ones that the International Space Station uses for communications. Satellite connections are slightly more prone to weather-related interruptions, but offer far more bandwidth, than ATG connections.

Gogo’s new 2Ku technology is supposed to be the fastest in-flight wifi in the world. With dual fixed antennas—one for uploads, one for downloads—that sit under a low profile randome, the system is the Cadillac version of existing satellite solutions. Since the antennas don’t have to swivel to find a satellite, the whole system is low-profile and aerodynamic. This is a big plus for airlines, which have to shoulder the extra fuel costs involved in strapping stuff to the outsides of their planes.

And here’s the fancy new 2Ku setup, including the sleek randome

A Glimpse Into the Future

Before my trip to Chicago, I’d never been on a private plane. Heck, I’d never been to a private airport. So when we walked into the tiny terminal in Gary, I was curious about how everything worked.

A pack of journalists and I arrived at the tiny terminal and slid through a metal detector before stepping onto the tarmac. It was a dangerously windy day, so I kept my head down as we walked up the stairs and onto Gogo’s 737. On board, a man flanked with wires stared at a pair of laptops, presumably to monitor the wifi, which worked just fine while we were on the ground.

I found my way to a first class seat and braced for takeoff. The ride up to the altitude where we’d be able to connect to the Ku satellites was a bumpy one. Once we broke through the clouds, though, sunlight streamed in the windows, and we were prompted to start our speed tests. I recall someone urging us to break the wifi, and I’m quite sure the geeks around me did their very best. I just wanted to see what I could do that I couldn’t normally do on any lesser in-flight wifi.

The answer, I learned, was not much. Steaming Netflix worked great. YouTube videos played without a hitch. Ditto for Spotify songs. It was only after I saw my neighbor’s FaceTime experiment that I tried to call my mom. In a sense, this was the most basic test of Gogo’s technology, a glimpse back into the company’s early days when Aircell charged an arm-and-a-leg for excited travelers to call their families and crow, “I’m calling you from an airplane!”

Imagine telling your eight-year-old self that one day you’d be able to watch movies on the internet on your pocket computer on an airplane

It didn’t work. I called my mom, who’s too often the victim of my telecom tests. She heard me say that “I’m calling you from an airplane!” line, and I heard her fine. But then reality set in, and the “Can you hear me now?” chorus began.

From conducting my own speed tests and talking with other journalists on the flight, a tough truth became clear. Any airline—and even Gogo itself—is compelled to set bandwidth limits to keep the network operational. On our flight, that meant throttling the upload speeds so much that you could suck data up from the internet, but it was tough to send anything out.

When people are flying, it’s much more likely that they want to stream a movie or send an email than place a Skype call. Download speeds didn’t come close to the 70 Mbps Gogo advertised. (I later learned that the company had capped download speeds at 25 Mbps, the government’s official minimum for broadband.) The uploads speeds struggled to hit 1 Mbps. That ruined my phone call, but it didn’t necessarily ruin the test.

Notice the GoPro mounted on the ceiling of the test plane?

As we descended back into the clouds and the connection switched from pinging satellites to pinging towers on the ground, the streaming stuttered and reality set in. In-flight wifi still feels like magic to me, but simple logistical challenges demand limitations. If everyone on your flight is streaming Netflix or placing FaceTime calls, the network will max out.

That said, it’s hard for me to offer up my experience as a standard. I flew on Gogo’s private plane and used its particularly calibrated wifi. A Gogo employee later explained that different airlines could configure their own networks in different ways. So will the first Aeromexico passengers to use the 2Ku technology have the same experience as me? No idea.

A Cautionary Tale

The weather was bad when we were landing. The wings lurched from side-to-side, and the pilot later told me he was battling 44-mile-per-hour crosswinds. A small army of Gogo representatives quickly shuttled us from the runway and into a hanger.

Back at Gogo headquarters, we got a peek inside the lab and the company’s crazy control center. We heard about how Gogo’s new offices were in the same building as Twitter, and the startup vibes—yes, foosball was spotted—were strong.

The next morning, my flight was delayed indefinitely and I needed to get some work done at the airport. But the Boingo-powered network at O’Hare barely worked. Boingo, like Gogo, offers wifi service in particular locations, each of which have their own sets of constraints. O’Hare was busy with weather delays when I was there—the wind only got worse—and I can only assume that the network was too crowded.

I’m just as quick to complain about shitty connectivity as the next person. But I also dream of a scenario when we can confront a bad connection with the option for a better one. If you’re on a Gogo-powered flight, you’re going to have to use Gogo. Unless you’re flying from Mexico to Japan, there’s a very slim chance you’re going to enjoy 2Ku technology. But even if you’re just taking a jaunt from Laguardia to O’Hare, you have to take what you can get.

So be mindful of the full picture the next time you sign online from the sky. Gogo’s making progress, and it’s new technology is undeniably impressive. My hopeful curiosity, however, begs to know which of its few competitors can make in-flight wifi even better.

Illustration by Tara Jacoby

It’s a return of the reoccurring characters this week on Elementary! We finally spend time with Alfredo for the first time since his kidnapping, Captain Gregson and Detective Bell get a shot at doing police work, and everyone engages in banter.

Spoilers? Spoilers. So many spoilers.

The best moment of the latest Elementary had absolutely nothing to do with the plot, but was a quick mid-investigation aside. Sherlock Holmes (Jonny Lee Miller) walks up with a pair of bicycles mid investigation, prompting the following exchange with Detective Marcus Bell (Jon Michael Hill):

Bell: What are you doing?
Holmes: These were chained to a lamppost down the street.
Bell: And you figured you’d steal them?
Holmes: I’m re-stealing them.I peruse the crime blotter when I’m bored, and these were stolen in Chelsea last month.
Bell: And you’re just gonna walk around with ‘em for the rest of the day?
Holmes: Oh, don’t be ridiculous. This one’s for you.

Detective Bell does all the real work.

The case-of-the-week is chasing down the murderer of an archeologist who was digging around abandoned landfills for lost video games. Unravelling the mystery breaks tradition by not involving any crazy schemes or convoluted motivations that really requires the brainiac-duo of Sherlock and Joan Watson (Lucy Liu) to figure out. Instead, it’s a rather straightforward affair of slowly working through a list of suspects and eliminating them. Really, the coolest thing about the mystery was getting a fictionalized version of Atari’s mass burial of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial in mainstream media and an adorable snippet of household banter:

Holmes: Your help has just resulted in that man’s murder. Again.
Watson: Okay, first of all, he wasn’t murdered— he was zapped into another dimension. And second of all, he still has two lives left.
Holmes: Yes, yes, of course, that’s what happens in real life. If you die, you get two more chances. Somewhere, two more Eddie Rosses have just resumed digging their hole.

Never come between a girl of the ‘80s and her 8-bit console games.

Of course Joan kicked ass as soon as Sherlock relinquished the controller to her, leaving him to sulkily ice his sore thumb. Other than that, that it was a bit strange to get so far into the technicalities of toxic waste cleanup, yet also oddly satisfying to have the case rely on such mundane police work instead of something convoluted. At its conclusion, Elementary continues to be satisfying in its choice of villain. The murderer wasn’t an ex-girlfriend or a game-obsessed online geek, but instead a corporate executive with abhorrent ethics.

It’s all about donuts with Alfredo.

But the subplot is where this episode really shines. We finally get to see Alfredo Llamosa (Ato Essandoh) for the first time since Sherlock’s ex-dealer kidnapped his former sponsor at the end of last season. The two struggle to redefine their friendship in the face of Sherlock’s relapse, only to bond anew over Alfredo’s renewed struggles with sobriety. It’s a painful venture into dealing with the stark reality of addiction, recovery, and the ongoing nature of both. That their friendship now revolves around cars and donuts just makes the story uniquely theirs:

Holmes: That’s not breakfast.
Llamosa: Maybe not where you’re from. Try one.
Holmes: I did. Two years, three months, 27 days ago, when you first brought a box to a meeting. You do realize pink coconuts do not occur in nature.
Llamosa: Everyone else loves these donuts.
Holmes: Addicts and alcoholics often crave sugar. You put frosted rocks in a gingham box, they’d eat those, too.
Llamosa: That’s why you switched meetings? Get better snacks?

Yet again, Watson is the key to chasing down a hidden connection. What exactly does Sherlock bring to this relationship?

Will our beloved Alfredo find his equilibrium again, or is he destined to attend multiple support meetings a day for the foreseeable future? Will Everyone catch wind of Sherlock’s distaste for pink-frosted donuts and demand he consume one as payment for one of their favours? Did Gregson flat-out take pity on Watson and Holmes by throwing them such a straightforward case? What mischief is Morland up to, and when will Detective Gina Cortes reappear to stir up more trouble?

Favorite quotes this week:

Llamosa: Well, if I’d have known hugs were on the table, I’d have left Chicago a lot sooner.

Bell: So the owner of the murder weapon is a left-handed archaeologist. How many of those can there be in New York City?

Holmes: Put the word “vintage” in front of glass bottles, cameras, trading cards— you can turn a tidy profit.

Holmes: A company opts not to release a bad product, that’s one thing. They decide this product is so colossally bad it has to bury the whole inventory, that’s the stuff of legend.

Holmes: If the Holy Grail were a plodding, pixelated failure banished to a dump.

Holmes: It would seem my week has a theme of middle-aged men clinging to pubescent glory via collectibles.

Holmes: In the same way that many drug users only relate to one another because they use drugs, the thing that Alfredo and I did together was not use them, so... It is a conundrum, to be sure.

Holmes: According to my research, Swords of Saturn was one of the best games of the era. If Nottingham Knights was one of the worst, then consignment to a landfill was too kind a fate.

Holmes: We suspect that your career as a composer of ear-splitting digital music peaked in the early ‘80s.

Clyde status: Presumably absconded by Ms. Hudson for an adventure in locations unknown.

Elementary airs on Thursday nights on CBS. All images credit CBS.

Contact the author at mika.mckinnon@io9.com or follow her at @MikaMcKinnon.

The release of Star Wars in 1977 was an absolute gamechanger, on so many levels—from effects, to toys, and to how expanded universes were created in general. But Star Wars was also of vital importance to an unexpected ally in Marvel Comics. Without the galaxy far, far, away, they might have vanished for good.

In the mid-1970s, Marvel was in trouble. After its success in the ‘60s, creating hits like Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and countless others, Marvel had grown too quickly, too fast. General sales of comics across the industry were down, and something was about to give.

At the same time, Star Wars was a film that seemingly no one believed in, including Marvel. When George Lucas was first shopping around potential novelizations and comic adaptations of his upcoming movie in 1975, publisher Stan Lee was adamant that scifi comics sold poorly, as did licensed comics. When the industry was already hurting, why take a risk on this unknown movie?

But despite Lee’s rejection, not everyone at Marvel agreed with him. Roy Thomas, who had briefly been Editor-in-Chief of Marvel in the early ‘70s was put into contact with Charles Lippincott, George Lucas’ advertising publicity supervisor in the run up to Star Wars. Over several meetings with Lucas and Lippincott, Thomas was slowly convinced to give the movie another chance at Marvel. He returned to the company and re-pitched the adaptation, and Lee relented. In April 1977, two months before the film came out, Star Wars #1—written by Roy Thomas, and with art by Howard Chaykin and Thomas Palmer—went onto shelves, promising an adaptation of “The Greatest Space Fantasy Film Of All.”

Common, romanticized consensus is that Star Wars came out of nowhere when it was released, but the savvy work of Lippincott in the year prior to the film’s opening had actually created a growing, eager audience for the film, through a tour of the convention circuit in 1976 to drum up interest. By the time Star Wars #1 came out, there was a hungry fanbase wracked with anticipation that voraciously consumed the comic in numbers well beyond anything Marvel had expected. After Star Wars the movie actually came out, the only real way to re-experience it was to return to the theater or buy the novelization or comics, it skyrocketed to the top of Marvel’s sales list. The first few issues were reprinted again and again, then collected in bundles, and people lapped it up—not just in the U.S., but around the world.

Han Solo meets “Jabba” in Star Wars #1. Without the movie to go on—Jabba would eventually be excised from the first film due to a lack of time to finish designing the Hutt’s appearance—Chaykin had to turn the mobster into a random alien creature from the background of the Cantina sequence.

Star Wars mania had gripped the planet, and Marvel sold almost two million comics within the first year of release alone. Star Wars had defied everyone’s expectations in the comics industry, and for Marvel especially, it was a solid seller at a time when they needed it the most.

But after the successful start, the Star Wars comic found itself in a strange place—there was no more Star Wars to adapt. Only the first six issues covered the events of the movie. At the time, Lucas cared little about what happened outside of his films; with nothing else to go on, Marvel desperately needed their own material. Star Wars had left its heroes (or as Marvel affectionately called them on many a cover, the “Star Warriors”) in a hopeful place, but where could they go next? They couldn’t beat the Empire, because that story was saved for the movies. They couldn’t face off against Darth Vader over and over, either. So Marvel concocted its own stories.

The company turned to the roguish background of Han Solo for refuge, starting with “Eight Against a World!” in Star Wars #8. It was an adventure all about the smugglers and scoundrels of the world that Han had called his former allies before joining the Rebellion, as he rejoined them to fight space pirates. One of these smugglers in particular actually managed to draw the ire of Lucas: Jaxxon, a smooth-talking humanoid neon green rabbit created by Thomas and Chaykin who did martial arts and dressed like a Flash Gordon extra. Lucas, through Lippincott, raged at the character’s existence, and Jaxxon was rapidly phased out.

It was then Thomas realized that until the sequel came out, Star Wars would be in a creative quagmire, and quit the book. Chaykin followed shortly after, and the pair were replaced by Archie Goodwin and Carmine Infantino. Over the next few years, the Star Wars comic had to wax and wane between adapting a new movie and telling original stories as the Rebels dodged the Empire (and thus the surrounding elements of the movies) and fought one-off aliens, rogue Imperial Barons and bounty hunters.

Mary Jo Duffy took over as writer in January of 1983, shortly before the release of Return of the Jedi in theaters. With the (apparent) end of the movies—and without the watchful eye of Lucasfilm, or any other expanded universe material to adhere to—Duffy essentially had the keys to the galaxy far, far, away. It would be Marvel that first got to answer a question being revealed by The Force Awakens: What’s next for the Rebel Alliance after they’ve saved the galaxy?

Leia and Han turned into diplomats, having to convince worlds and star systems that the Alliance could govern effectively and be different from the Empire. Luke dove into deeper studies of the Force, and struggled with training new Jedi and the fear of falling to the Dark Side like his Father did. New threats arose in the wake of the Empire’s fall, like the sinister alien Nagai, or Lumiya, a female Sith who wielded a bizarre “light-whip” in combat. Duffy and artist Cynthia Martin’s set up would ultimately inspire the world picked up on by the official Expanded Universe in the 1990s—Lumiya herself was brought along, as were many of the elements the writers created—and even some of the elements discussed about The Force Awakens.

But without movies, Star Wars couldn’t survive. Ewoks and Droids cartoons failed to ignite new interest; Kenner wrapped up toy production after years of market dominance; and as sales gradually decreased over Duffy’s tenure, Marvel canceled the series in 1986, after 107 issues—as did, seemingly, the franchise itself.

But not for long. Lucas began teasing a desire to make more Star Wars movies, and at Lucasfilm, there was already a discussion to support Star Wars with a range of interconnected novels, this time with an overarching editorial guidance to create a universe of coherent fiction, and thus the Expanded Universe was born in 1991. Marvel was very nearly part of it—the creators of Dark Empire, Cam Kennedy and Tom Veitch, pitched the book to Marvel as a revival of their Star Wars comics, but after the decline of the mid-1980s, the company was once again hesitant to back licensed comic book series again. They passed, sold the Star Wars rights back, and Veitch and Kennedy instead turned to Dark Horse. Dark Horse threw itself wholly into the EU, producing decades of new, amazing Star Wars material, covering the events after the original films, during them, and then even around the prequel movies in the late 90s and early 2000s.

An all-powerful Luke Skywalker downs an AT-AT in Dark Empire #1.

Much to some Star Wars fans’ chagrin, Dark Horse would ultimately lose the rights to make Star Wars comics when Lucasfilm was purchased by Disney in 2012. Nearly 30 years after their first comic series had come to a close, Disney turned to its now-subsidiary Marvel to craft a new era of Star Wars comics, but this time, it would be different. Marvel’s material would form the vanguard of a wholly new Star Wars canon: they were no longer wandering their way aimlessly through the galaxy telling whatever stories they could with no guidance, but shaping Disney’s new take on the Star Wars universe with a mandate that they were telling the definitive stories of the franchise, with Lucasfilm’s seal of approval.

The Marvel Star Wars returned to was much different to the one it landed at in 1977. This one was no longer in danger (after some close calls over the years), but one of the most powerful comics publishers in the industry. The only thing that didn’t really change? Sales power. Since Star Wars #1 released in January of this year, the series and its spinoffs—Darth Vader, Princess Leia, Shattered Empire (a precursor to The Force Awakens itself), and more—have crushed sales records, and are considered some of the best comics of the year.

It was a long way round, but Star Wars and Marvel were together again—forging a new path into a galaxy we all loved, as it did so all the way back in 1977.

Header Image Credit: Star Wars (2015) #1 Alex Ross Variant, based on the original Star Wars (1977) #1 cover by Howard Chaykin.

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It’s no secret that Quentin Tarantino is a voracious movie watcher that loves to pay homage to films that came before him. Other director do that too! But QT is so good at referencing other directors’ techniques and being inspired by previous films that he’s developed his own unique style in the process. With that said though, some of his scenes are basically carbon copies of other movies’ scenes. Here is Jacob T. Swinney showing the visual references of Quentin Tarantino.

Swinney writes:

Many filmmakers pay homage, but Tarantino takes things a step further by replicating exact moments from a variety of genres and smashing them together to create his own distinct vision. Just like ‘Kill Bill: Vol 2’ (2004) draws on ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ (1966) and ‘Samurai Fiction’ (1998), Tarantino’s work often reflects Spaghetti Westerns and Japanese cinema—both new and old. His unique way of referencing other films allows him to bend genre boundaries and shatter the mold of what we expect to experience. While his methods are often criticized and he is accused of “ripping off” other filmmakers, it seems that Tarantino is simply writing love letters to the art he is ever so passionate about.

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We don’t know who Star-Lord’s father is in the Marvel Cinematic Universe quite yet, but we may know who’s playing him—the current rumor is that director James Gunn wants Kurt Russell to play the mysterious sire of Peter Quill for the much-anticipated Marvel sequel.

The Wrap says that meetings haven’t yet take place, so even assuming the rumors are true, that doesn’t mean Russell will take the part. I hope he does, though; no one plays swaggering, self-absorbed heroes better than Russell (see Big Trouble in Little China for all the proof you’ll ever need), which makes him perfect to play the dad of Chris Pratt’s swaggering, self-important Star-Lord.

Actually, now I just want BTiLC’s Jack Burton to be Star-Lord’s dad. There’s no way any Marvel character reveal could be more satisfying than watching Burton show up on a spaceship and ask some confused Kree warriors “You know what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like this?

Contact the author at rob@io9.com.

Mashup video edits are universal favorites among fans, and have been for ages. Wars and Trek? Sure. DC’s live action movies and TV shows in one trailer? Fantastic! The BBC mashing up its hit crime shows Sherlock, Luther, and The Fall? Okay that’d be—wait, hold the phone, what??

So, we wouldn’t usually cover the thought of a crossover between myriad British crime dramas—you know, unless they happened to cross over with Sleepy Hollow for no particular reason whatsoever. But the idea of the BBC—the actual BBC, not a fan—doing its own edit mashup to make it look like Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman, Idris Elba, and Gillian Anderson are reprising their roles as Sherlock, Watson, John Luther (from Luther), and Stella Gibson (from The Fall) for a short trailer is both charming and also kind of insane.

I mean, they pay these actors. They probably could’ve asked them to show up and do a little something. The fact that they’ve spliced footage from their respective TV shows to do it instead is oddly endearing. It has the feel of a fan edit (a really well done fan edit), too, and yet knowing it’s an official teaser for the corporation’s upcoming drama series—not an actual crossover, which would be all kinds of wonderful—adds this bizarre bent to it all. We live in interesting times, everyone.

Plus, in a roundabout way, you could secretly imagine this is a mashup where Doctor Strange, Bilbo Baggins, Dana Scully and the new villain of Star Trek Beyond team up to solve murders in a police AU. I’m not sure if that makes it better or not.

Here’s one of the best moments from last night’s episode of Supergirl. The fight scenes were actually pretty great, and seemed to be done in a way that actually used the show’s low VFX budget to good effect. This moment felt like it borrowed from Chronicle, in a great way. Read on for more of the best and worst moments from “Hostile Takeover.” Spoilers ahead…

Worst: All of the stuff involving the Kryptonian villains. For one thing, the Kryptonians talk in this weirdly stilted fashion that doesn’t quite work. “Have you ever known me to break my promises…. husband???” (How many times a day do you address your husband or wife by their title like that?)

For another, we haven’t seen much of General Astra and the rest of them since the show’s second episode, and there’s a lot of groundwork the show has done on the rest of its set-up that’s sadly missing here. We’re supposed to care about the childhood relationship between Kara and Aunt Astra, and we just don’t. (Apparently Kara got Aunt Astra busted, because Astra came to visit Kara and then Kara’s mom arrested her.)

Also! The thing where Astra is an eco-terrorist, who tried to prevent the destruction of Krypton and is now trying to prevent humans from destroying our own planet, is just so, so heavy-handed. Ugh. It’s like, yes, fracking will cause the Earth’s core to explode. Sure. Whatever. Oh, and this episode makes excessive, pointless use of the “villain got caught on purpose” trope. Which was so 2013, in any case. Plus, why doesn’t Superman care that there’s a gang of Kryptonian criminals plotting to take over the world?

http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-5-best-and...

Best: Supergirl loses it at her holographic mom. I loved this moment. Any time Supergirl’s grief and rage at being almost the last survivor of her species, sent alone to a brand new planet, comes out, the show is on fire. The touch where she just lets loose with her heat vision is beautiful.

Worst: Cat Grant’s suddenly got her own child that she abandoned. This felt a little too random, and was clearly thrown in just as a counterpart to Kara’s own feelings that her mother abandoned her. Not every single episode needs to have “A” and “B” plots that dovetail quite so neatly. Of course, the show may actually bring in Adam as a character at some point, and then maybe I’ll feel differently. But for now, it felt cheap, and random.

Best: Everything else about the “Cat Grant gets hacked” storyline. Including the walking embodiment of male privilege getting pwned. And all of the funny stuff about what’s in Cat’s leaked emails, including her asking Idris Elba out on a date. And her getting dared by Anderson Cooper to go on some reality TV show. Cat Grant is pretty much the best character on this show, in general.

Worst: James Olson tells Winn to go for it with Kara. First of all, this comes right after Winn has set James up to go get caught breaking into the male privilege guy’s office, to eliminate a potential romantic rival. And Winn has been a total jerkhead to James in general, because he saw Winn and James hugging. But even though Kara has been pretty clear that she’s got no interest in Winn, James still tells Winn it’s better to love and lose, blah blah blah. Maybe James just wants to see Winn crash and burn. I dunno. The whole “Winn has a crush on Kara” subplot is probably the show’s achilles heel right now though.

Best: Cat unmasks Kara. It’s a weirdly sexy moment, in which Cat confronts her assistant with all the evidence that she’s Supergirl, and they kind of flirt. Forget the Winn-Kara-James love triangle, I am now 1000 percent a Cat/Kara shipper, now and forever.

Best: The final fight scene. Although Martian Manhunter is being awfully casual about revealing to random strangers that he’s not human, just a few days after he almost died to keep his secret. But now that we, the viewers, know, I guess it no longer matters. But I love Max Lord hitting the Kryptonians with his awesome alien-fighting weaponry, then pausing to pose and preen instead of pressing the advantage. Oh, and that’s Astra’s husband, a newly introduced sidekick who is apparently replacing the sadly missing Faran Tahir.

Charlie Jane Anders is the author of All The Birds in the Sky, coming in January from Tor Books. Follow her on Twitter, and email her.

Growing up, I always said Return of the Jedi was my favorite Star Wars movie. It wasn’t until years later I realized I was in the minority by saying that. Watching it again, I now know exactly why I enjoy it so much, why others don’t, and why we’re both completely right. Welcome to the final installment of our Star Wars rewatch.

Here’s why I love Return of the Jedi: I’m a sucker for a happy ending and that’s what Return of the Jedi is all about. From the very start of the film we realize this is the final film in the trilogy so George Lucas and his crew are going to throw so much Star Wars at us, we were going to explode. He’s also going to wrap up most of the storylines that have been left hanging from the last two films and send everyone off into the sunset in a satisfying, rousing way.

And yet, that finality removes the complexity, the darkness. If the first Star Wars was amazing for creating this world and The Empire Strikes Back was great for turning it on its head, the inevitable correction of that, by definition, can’t be as impactful. Seeing your heroes win is exciting in the moment but it doesn’t leave you with much to think about or feel. Which is why I totally get why many people feel Jedi is less striking than Empire.

But there is a lot of great stuff in this movie. Take Jabba’s Palace, for example; this is arguably the most visually stimulating scene in the entire franchise. Every corner of every frame is packed with something weird and cool. Creatures, droids, music, games, oddities—it’s just insane.

Plus, we get to see the whole team hatch a plan, which is something we don’t get in the other movies. Usually the plans are on a bigger scale or just feature one or two characters, but at Jabba’s you’ve got Luke, Leia, Chewie, Lando and the droids all coming together to rescue Han. After the gut-wrenching ending of The Empire Strikes Back, that’s a pretty fulfilling resolution to that storyline. Add to that the Rancor, the Sarlacc, the Max Rebo Band, and it’s just an amazingly cool, fun series of events (even if Boba Fett does die in such a crap way).

You also tend to forget that, after Jabba is killed, the movie basically moves into an ultra-extended third act. “We’ve got Han back, now let’s try and blow up another Death Star.” It’s an incredibly compact narrative. You then get another plan that will bring the entire gang together.

And yet, on the second go around, it might be too much. When you keep having all of your heroes together in the same place, it seriously constricts your story. Thankfully, Luke does have the insanely important and fascinating aside on Dagobah when Yoda and Obi-Wan lay out all the Jedi stuff and, eventually, he goes off to fulfill his destiny with Darth Vader and the Emperor. Luke can’t be in the equation for too long because he’s too big of a threat.

So the entire second and third act is the plan on Endor and the attack on the Death Star, which has its ups and downs. There’s the speeder bike chase, which still holds up as an exciting technical marvel. But the ensuing space battle is chock full of so many new ships and characters, none of which are primary characters (unless you count the Falcon), making it a little less dramatic.

Then there’s... (you knew it was coming) the Ewoks. Everyone hates the Ewoks and points out that they’re the shining example of why Return of the Jedi isn’t that great. I find myself straddling both sides of the fence on this issue. I agree it’s frustrating to have this random set of characters introduced to help the Rebels save the day. What would have happened if the Ewoks didn’t show up? Thank god they brought the protocol droid along with them, right? It all feels way too coincidental. Plus they’re so cute and cuddly, they’re not particularly interesting.

And yet, they’re phenomenal in a fight. They have no fear, they come up with inventive contraptions and hatch smart plans to help the cause. It’s the Ewoks who tell Han Solo about the back door, who distract the Scout Troopers, and who eventually do the bulk of the destruction with rocks and sticks. The Ewoks may look cute, but they’re not inconsequential. Even if they just happen to show up, they do save the day.

For any ill will the Ewoks may bring, Jedi has plenty to counteract it. There are a long string of touching moments: Leia’s reunion with Han, Yoda’s death, C-3PO’s story to the Ewoks, the stuff with Luke and Leia, the Force Ghosts and of course, Luke and Darth Vader at the end. There’s also huge excitement with Luke’s rescue at the Sarlaac, the speeder bike chase and Luke’s duel with Vader and the Emperor. It hits lots and lots of notes that make Star Wars, well, Star Wars.

The actors are way more comfortable and confident this time around. And the banter is more snappy than previous installments. In particular, Mark Hamill does a ton of the heavy lifting in this movie, going from frightening badass, to loving friend, brother, son and more. Luke’s emotional journey in Return of the Jedi is the payoff and anchor of the entire Star Wars series.

In the end, is Return of the Jedi the least awesome of the original Star Wars trilogy? Yes, but I don’t believe that’s an argument against it. It’s still a Star Wars movie filled with new ships, aliens, and answers. Even 30 years removed, I still love it. While I can admit it’s not the best of the original trilogy, it’s also my favorite.

And with that, my Star Wars rewatch has come to an end, just in time for Episode VII, The Force Awakens. We’ll have a review up on Wednesday and maybe I’ll give it the Star Wars rewatch treatment in 2017 before Episode VIII. For now, thanks for taking this journey with me, enjoy the movie, and may the Force be with you.

Here are the links to the entire Star Wars Rewatch.

Contact the author at germain@io9.com.

Mark Watney’s tea may have been nothing but spent rocket fuel, but on the ISS, astronauts are about to get a lesson in good ol’ fashioned English tea time. That’s thanks to British celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal, who’s working hard to figure out how to bring several of his country’s staples into zero-gee.

Earlier this year, Blumenthal was tasked with creating seven space-grade dishes that would remind British astronaut Tim Peake of home during his six-month stint in on the ISS . The menu, which is still in the works, will include “bacon sarnie” and Christmas pudding, as well as tea that doesn’t taste like fermented tar. (The trick, The Guardian reports, is a high-tech system that jettisons the tea bag from its plastic brewing pouch into a separate trash receptacle, so that the water doesn’t over steep.)

The secret to these British classics and more will be revealed next year in a 90-minute documentary, commissioned by production company Thoroughly Modern Media.

Space food has a rep for being pretty awful, but we’ve seen a lot of efforts to class it up over the past few years, from home-grown salad greens to zero-gee espresso machines. (Sadly, wine is still on the list of prohibited items, along with sloths and firecrackers). As Blumenthal told The Guardian, getting to be part of the space food revolution is the opportunity of a lifetime:

“When Tim set me my mission, I felt a surge of pride to be involved in such a historic moment for both astronomy and gastronomy. Imagine telling a young boy that when he grows up he will create food for astronauts to eat in space – it’s a dream I couldn’t even envisage, let alone it coming true!

“Working with the team at the UK Space Agency, ESA and Nasa has been a phenomenal experience. Tim and I have also worked closely together, creating dishes that will remind him of home even though he’ll be 400km away in space. The very least I could do was make sure he had a cup of tea and a bacon sarnie.”

Blumenthal’s Space Food documentary will air on the British station Channel 4 next spring.

[The Guardian]

Follow the author @themadstone

The seventh Star Wars movie comes out this week (seventh!) and if you’re feeling a little behind, don’t worry: here’s how to catch up on the first few movies before the latest installment drops.

Which Movies Should You Watch?

There are six movies in the Star Wars series so far, and for some of you, watching all six may seem like a pretty serious commitment. Especially when you’ve spent the last 10 years hearing people badmouth three of them.

We don’t know yet which ones will be “necessary” to understand the story of The Force Awakens. In fact, it’s entirely possible that you won’t need to watch any of the old movies movies to understand this new one. So if you’re dreading the idea of a 6-hour Star Wars marathon, go ahead and skip them.

That said, it’s clear that The Force Awakens will be drawing on a lot of material from the original trilogy from the 70s and 80s—also known as episodes 4, 5, and 6. It takes place after the events of those films, and many characters from those films will be returning, so if you want to know why everyone gets nostalgia-gasms when Han Solo comes on screen, the original movies are key. Just keep in mind: the original movies move at a much slower pace than most modern movies, so don’t get discouraged if the movie isn’t rife with explosions and a racing plot in the first half hour.

So what about the newer trilogy, containing episodes 1 through 3? Watching that is up to you. I’ll steer clear of making formal judgments on their quality, but because they’re prequels, they’re less important to the story. The original trilogy was designed to be told without intense knowledge of the prequels, so they’re more like world-building pieces. They explain more about the nature of the Jedi, the politics that led to the empire, and how Darth Vader became Darth Vader (and there’s a love story in there somewhere, too). If you’re really interested in the world of Star Wars, go for it—but it’s unlikely they’ll be necessary to understand The Force Awakens.

Which Versions of the Movies Should You Watch?

Every time they re-release Star Wars—in theaters, on DVD, on Blu-Ray—they make changes to the movies. The current version of the trilogy contains some extra CGI, a deleted scene or two, and even one change that alters Han Solo’s character. So, you may have heard a lot of debate about how the Blu-Rays suck, or how the true movie is lost to time, and other things of that nature. So which version should you watch?

If you just don’t care, pick up the Blu-Ray version. If you don’t have a Blu-Ray player, the DVD version is fine too. It’s also available for streaming on iTunes, Amazon, and Google Play. Most of the big, controversial changes were made in 1997, which means there’s no easy way to watch the original versions in any sort of decent quality.

If, however, you’re a tech-savvy individual—and you want to watch the original, perfect version of the Star Wars trilogy—you should absolutely check out the Despecialized Edition. It is a fan-made reconstruction of the original trilogy in all it’s unaltered glory—and in high definition. This is the best version of Star Wars you can watch today, provided you’re willing to do a little hunting.

Since it’s an unofficial fan edit, the legality of them is in a definite grey area, and they aren’t easy to find. You’ll have to go through a somewhat lengthy process to download them from their creator, or search a few BitTorrent sites for “despecialized edition” to find all three movies (don’t forget to use a proxy or VPN to anonymize your traffic). You’ll be glad you did.

Similarly, there are some re-edited, anti-cheese versions of the prequels if you want to save yourself some time and headache watching those.

http://lifehacker.com/watch-the-orig...

What Order Should You Watch Them In?

If you decide to watch all six movies, you have another important question ahead of you: do you watch the original trilogy first, then watch the prequels (Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, and 3)? Or do you watch them in chronological order, with the prequels ahead of the original trilogy (Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)?

Option One: Chronological Order. If you’re a fan of Star Wars, and you’ve seen the movies more than once or twice, you can feel free to watch them however you want. George Lucas says he intends people to watch them in chronological order (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6), and if you’re already familiar with the story, it’s a decent way to watch it all unfold.

Option Two: Release Order. If you’re new to Star Wars, or if you haven’t watched it in a long time, I do not recommend option one. The original trilogy is a better introduction to the series, even if you’ve seen it once or twice before. And if you’ve never seen Star Wars before, there are a few twists that the prequels will definitely give away. So watch the original trilogy first, then watch the three prequels afterward (4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3).

Option Three: Machete Order. There is one other option, suitable for old and new viewers alike, known as Machete Order. Popularized by blogger Rod Hilton, Machete Order involves watching the original Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back first, then watching the prequels before finishing it all off with Return of the Jedi (so that’s 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6). This introduces you to the universe through the original trilogy, but cuts it off after the cliffhanger in Empire Strikes Back—at which point you “flash back” to the prequels to see how Darth Vader came to be Darth Vader, before returning to the final chapter of the original trilogy for a nice, neat ending.

Technically Rod’s Machete Order argues that you should skip Episode 1 entirely (4, 5, 2, 3, 6), and gives a decent argument for doing so. I’ve left it in above to avoid confusion about where it would go, so it’s up to you whether you want to include it. If you’re really into Star Wars, read Rod’s blog post for more info. It’s pretty interesting, and a decent attempt at getting the best of both worlds.

Other Star Wars Stories to Catch Up On

If you’re such a Star Wars geek that six movies aren’t enough—supernerds unite!—there are a bunch of other Star Wars stories that take place in between the movies. The Clone Wars television show, for example, chronicles events between episodes 2 and 3, and the Rebels TV show takes place between episodes 3 and 4. There are also quite a few books, comic books, and short stories entitled Journey to The Force Awakens that take place before the latest movie. You can see a full list of “canon” stories throughout the Star Wars universe here. However, none of this is truly required to enjoy Star Wars or The Force Awakens—it merely adds to the story for true, diehard fans.

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If You’re Too Lazy for All of This

If all of that sounds like too much work (I’m surprised you made it through this article), just watch this video. Or watch this more serious and descriptive one, if you have a few more minutes to spare.

Tops among Ridley Scott’s best-loved movies are early entries Alien and Blade Runner. His varied career has also included Thelma and Louise, Gladiator, The Martian, and that movie where Russell Crowe weathers his midlife crisis making wine in Provence. But 1985’s Legend is surely his absolutely weirdest effort.

Side note: I’ve had Legend on the brain since the Tom Hardy movie of the same name—about the 1960s gangster Kray brothers—is all over the place lately. But the original Legend also came to mind after the big reveal during the first episode of Childhood’s End on Syfy (if you’ve seen it you know why).

Sure, Scott would later again enter the realms of fairy tales and fantasies, with movies like Robin Hood and Exodus: Gods and Kings. But in the mid-1980s—an era that spawned similarly-flavored films like The NeverEnding Story, Labyrinth, and Willow—he made good on his desire to make a fairy tale. As the Telegraph recalled in an article marking Legend’s 30th anniversary earlier this year, audiences weren’t sure what to make of the director’s full-throttle foray into the realm of goblins and unicorns:

Legend was the extinction event that brought to a close the early Eighties mini-boom in fantasy movies. Conceived by Scott as a bleak and lavish twist on Disney and the Grimm Brothers (the latter plenty bleak to begin it), the film was a flop – suffering from endless studio tinkering it earned less than $15 million on a $25 million budget and ended Scott’s spell as Hollywood golden boy.

The article, which extensively quotes the film’s writer, William Hjortsberg, goes on to call the film “a carnival of queasiness. It’s as if Scott set out to make Tolkien and ended up tapping David Cronenberg instead.” It also notes that outside of America, Scott’s contract allowed for more creative control and a longer film that better adhered to his original vision. But stateside audiences—particularly any kid who grew up in the 1980s—recall Legend as a freaky relic with a memorably trippy Tangerine Dream score, and (studio-mandated) edits that brought down the running time at the expense of coherence.

Truly, it’s a wonderfully bizarre movie from start to finish. Watching Legend in 2015—or really any year after 1986, when Top Gun was released—is automatically an off-putting experience, given that it stars a 22-year-old pre-Scientology Tom Cruise as Jack, a Peter Pan type who spends his days lurking in the forest. Mia Sara, who’d later achieve more fame as Ferris Bueller’s girlfriend, plays Lily, a princess of some kind (you can tell because of her fancy dress), who’s in teenage-girl love with Jack.

Their dalliance du jour proves horribly timed, since Jack’s decision to let Lily gaze upon a unicorn (in a sequence seemingly guest-directed by Lisa Frank) coincides with the moment that the villainous Lord of Darkness’ goblin squad aims a poison dart at the majestic creature’s neck.

After that, there’s no more smooches among the trees and giggling frolics. A blizzard covers the land in snow, and Frodo Jack has to team up with elves and dwarves and fairies (some of whom have uncannily dubbed voices, some of whom have glittery make-up smeared on their cheeks) to rescue Lily, who’s been snatched by the Lord of Darkness. Make-up effects wizard Rob Bottin—who’d previously worked on John Carpenter’s The Thing and went on to do RoboCop and Total Recall, among others—makes magic things happen with prosthetics throughout. But Bottin’s most important contribution is making Tim Curry into said evil Lord—and Curry’s over-the-top performance is Legend’s most enduringly memorable element.

Aside from a few shadowy glimpses and some deliciously evil chuckles, the Lord of Darkness doesn’t even show up until the film’s third act—though his presence looms over every part of the story, like a good baddie should. By then, Lily is bedraggled and exhausted, and is trapped with the world’s only living unicorn in the Lord of Darkness’ fiery underground hideout.

“Charm her! Seduce her!” Reel her in with shiny objects!

And a daring evil-queen gown that dances by itself!

When we do finally meet the Lord of Darkness, he’s horned and horny.

The Telegraph retrospective quotes the film’s writer (presumably the person we can thank for penning lines like “I swear it on the festering forelock of Nicodemus!”) as saying the relationship between Lily and the Lord of Darkness was originally planned to be way more risque. As is, he’s creepy ... but in a winkingly lascivious, Beetlejuice kind of way. “The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity,” he purrs. “Dreams are my specialty. Through dreams I influence mankind. My dream is of eternity ... with you.”

But even with his sweet talk (and super-sweet self-filling wine glasses) there’s certainly no danger that pure, sweet Lily—her black-lipsticked goth guise still looking oh so stylish—will fall for his charms. Especially with Jack rushing to her rescue, arranging shiny shields to direct the beams of sunlight into the Lord’s lair, causing chaos as the unicorn is primed for its sacrifice, and enduring the smirking phrase “What have we here? A little boy?”

“What is light without dark? I am a part of you all! You can never defeat me,” the Lord of Darkness vows, but after Legend makes this perfectly valid point, it sends him off into what looks like outer space. There’s a spectacularly corny, soft-focus sequence in which Lily returns to her old self (and her original gown is magically restored), the unicorn comes back to life, everyone rejoices, etc. But Darkness gets the last laugh. Literally.

Though it has none of the humor or self-awareness that would make The Princess Bride—released just two years later—an oft-rewatched and oft-quoted classic, Legend bears revisiting, and not just for Curry’s supreme campiness. From start to end, it’s consistently odd and just slightly off in all the right ways, with two utterly unique curiosity factors: it stars a gawky newcomer who went on to fix his teeth and become a Hollywood icon. And it was dreamed up by a filmmaker whose sparkly romantic streak has rarely since resurfaced.

Who wants the hassle and maintenance of a real fireplace when Netflix serves up a convincing yule log you can just stream to your living room TV? Or better yet, why not just give in to all the Star Wars mania and curl up next to Anakin Skywalker’s burning corpse on a cold winter’s night.

If this five hour loop of Darth Vader’s funeral pyre on YouTube doesn’t get you in the mood for the holidays, nothing will. It’s all but guaranteed to get you in the mood for Star Wars, though, because there’s just no point to trying to resist it anymore.

[YouTube via The Verge]

Earlier this year, the International Astronomical Union asked us to vote on the names for 32 exoplanets orbiting 15 stars. This could have been a trainwreck, but the planet christening actually went pretty smoothly. Now, with half a million votes tallied from 182 countries, a handful of celestial bodies have shiny new appellations.

The NameExoWorlds contest, which ran from July through the end of October, marked the very first time the notoriously tight-lipped IAU decided to open up the planet-naming process to the public. Sort of. First, there was a semi-private submission round, in which schools, universities, and planetariums were asked to suggest names. This was a calculated move, intended to keep the list as small and profanity-free as possible, but still, there were a few cringeworthy submissions, including “Rock’n’Roll Star” and “Starry Bunnies.”

All in all, the IAU received 274 nominations from 45 countries around the world. It was these names that the public had several months to vote on.

Thankfully, the 14 star and 31 planet names unveiled today don’t include anything blatantly offensive. (With its overriding power, the IAU did decide to annul the vote for one system, the star Tau Boötis and its planet Tau Boötis b, because the winning name “was judged not to conform with the IAU rules for naming exoplanets.” I wonder if it was Starry Bunnies.)

The newly adopted names include a variety of mythological figures, famous scientists, fictional characters, and ancient cities from cultures around the world. If I had to pick one system whose new names really click, it’d be PSR 1257+12, a dying stellar fragment with three rocky worlds in tow. The star is now called “Lich” after the undead creature from Greek and Norse mythology that commands armies of the dead. Its celestial subjects are “Poltergeist,” “Phobetor” (an ancient Greek personification of nightmares) and “Draugr” (an Icelandic zombie). This, my friends, is democracy at its finest.

Here’s the full list, with original names and star or planet designation in parentheses:

• Veritate (14 Andromedae, Star)
• Spe (14 Andromedae b, Planet)
• Musica (18 Delphini, Star)
• Arion (18 Delphini b, Planet)
• Fafnir (42 Draconis, Star)
• Orbitar (42 Draconis b, Planet)
• Chalawan (47 Ursae Majoris, Star)
• Taphao Thong (47 Ursae Majoris b, Planet)
• Taphao Kaew (47 Ursae Majoris c, Planet)
• Helvetios (51 Pegasi, Star)
• Dimidium (51 Pegasi b, Planet)
• Copernicus (55 Cancri, Star)
• Galileo (55 Cancri b, Planet)
• Brahe (55 Cancri c, Planet)
• Lippershey (55 Cancri d, Planet)
• Janssen (55 Cancri e, Planet)
• Harriot (55 Cancri f, Planet)
• Amateru (Ain b, Planet)
• Hypatia (Edasich b, Planet)
• Ran (epsilon Eridani, Star)
• AEgir (epsilon Eridani b, Planet)
• Tadmor (Errai b, Planet)
• Dagon (Fomalhaut b, Planet)
• Tonatiuh (HD 104985, Star)
• Meztli (HD 104985 b, Planet)
• Ogma (HD 149026, Star)
• Smertrios (HD 149026 b, Planet)
• Intercrus (HD 81688, Star)
• Arkas (HD 81688b, Planet)
• Cervantes (mu Arae, Star)
• Quijote (mu Arae b, Planet)
• Dulcinea (mu Arae c, Planet)
• Rocinante (mu Arae d, Planet)
• Sancho (mu Arae e, Planet)
• Thestias (Pollux b, Planet)
• Lich (PSR 1257+12, Star)
• Draugr (PSR 1257+12 b, Planet)
• Poltergiest (PSR 1257+12 c, Planet)
• Phobetor (PSR 1257+12 d, Planet)
• Titawin (upsilon Andromedae, Star)
• Saffar (upsilon Andromedae b, Planet)
• Samh (upsilon Andromedae c, Planet)
• Majriti (upsilon Andromedae d, Planet)
• Libertas (xi Aquilae, Star)
• Fortitudo (xi Aquilae b)

[IAU]

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Images via IAU