It’s a wildlife photographer’s dream job: for the past several years, Joel Sartore has been collaborating with National Geographic on Photo Ark, an ambitious effort to shoot portraits of the world’s 12,000 captive animal species to raise awareness of the current extinction crisis.

But when work entails trying to convince boas and bald eagles to pose just so for the camera, you run into some....difficulties. Dream job or no, this man’s work takes a special kind of patience.

National Geographic put together a highlight reel.

[YouTube via PetaPixel]

Snap, crackle, pop: the sound of cracking knuckles is familiar to everyone, but scientists are having a hell of a time figuring out what causes it. A new ultrasound imaging study offers additional clues, but no definitive answers.

The GIF above was created from ultrasound footage collected in a first-of-its-kind knuckle cracking study led by radiology professor Robert Boutin of the University of California, Davis. Boutin’s team imaged the hands of 40 subjects as they pulled their knuckles a total of 400 times (62 of those pulls resulted in cracks). Turns out, the sound of a person cracking his or her knuckles is often accompanied by a bright flash at the knuckle base, a region doctors refer to as the metacarpophalangeal joint (try saying that one five times fast).

At a meeting of the Radiological Society of North America in Chicago this week, Boutin and his team argued that these metacarpal “fireworks” are related to the formation of gas bubbles—but whether and how those bubbles are connected to the crackles we hear is not yet clear.

Believe it or not, scientists have been trying to figure out what happens when joints crack since the 1940s. Two leading explanations for the pops we hear: one, that they’re caused by the formation of gas bubbles due to decreased pressure around the joints, and two, that cracking your knuckles actually causes tiny gas bubbles to burst. Over the years, scientific studies have accumulated evidence in support of both theories—bubble forming and bubble bursting—and to this day, the debate continues to rage.

The latest imaging results seem to lend evidence to the bubble forming theory. “We’re confident that the cracking sound and bright flash on ultrasound are related to the dynamic changes in pressure associated with a gas bubble [forming] in the joint,” Boutin said in a statement. However: based on the timing of the flash and cracking sound, it isn’t clear whether one causes the other. More work is needed to assess the relationship between bubble formation and audible knuckle pops, Boutin says.

In the meanwhile, next time you crack your knuckles, take an extra moment to appreciate the tiny fireworks you’ve just set off, and the fact that many brilliant minds are attempting to figure out what in the heck is causing that popping noise.

[Ars Technica]

Follow the author @themadstone

This is pretty awesome: a huge fan of Dune, Chris-Rachael Oseland went and made a bread shaped like one of the novel’s iconic sand worms, and provided the recipe!

This looks absolutely delicious, and the next time I have anything that remotely resembles a geek gathering, I’m serving it to my guests.

Take a look at the recipe here.

[Kitchen Overlord]

So you think the human race is going to survive the next billion years?

We have been on the last few moments of the doomsday clock since the invention of nuclear weapons. The fact that a small group of bad actors has the bomb keeps that clock at nearly midnight perpetually.

We’ve been pumping industrial poisons into the atmosphere for only around 150 years, and the effects have been catching up and wreaking havoc with climate.

The overuse and misuse of antibiotics has created several species of “superbugs” which can’t be eradicated by normal methods, while our arsenal of effective antibiotics is rapidly dwindling.

Over the last 600 million years (much less than the billion proposed here), not only has every single mulitcellular species made their debut on the face of the planet, but that 99.9 percent of all of them have become extinct.

Cosmically speaking, we are probably living on borrowed time. Between the possibility of gamma ray bursts, asteroids and comets, it’s really amazing we’re still here.

A billion years is a long time. A million years is also a long time, enough for humans to have evolved from homo erectus to the current home sapiens. 65 million years ago, the age of the dinosaur ended, with only a few species surviving to the present (birds).

And it has been speculated that life on Earth probably only has about a million years with a friendly Sun, which is getting hotter as it ages. The Earth and Sun may be only middle aged, but considering life on Earth (with the exception of Bacteria) has only been around for less than a third of that time, it’s very probably we were only a phase (not just us, but life in general).

Could technology progress enough to save us and the rest of life as we know it, at all? Possibly. But a few things need to happen.

1. We need another method of reaching the stars than our current, less than the speed of light restricted means we have now. The nearest star may be only 4 light years away, but in real time, that means more like 70 thousand years travel. Creating large biodomes in space is fraught with problems too, such as radiation, meteorites and micrometeorites, unseen black holes and dark objects, and on and on. Don’t comment about wormholes, either. They’re only theorized mathematically, and even then, only very small ones.
2. We need to be able to terraform in a relatively short time. We might be able to colonize another planet in our own Solar System, but terraforming is time consuming, and may not happen before the extinction of the human race, currently the only species advanced enough technologically to worry about the end of days. I recently saw an article that discussed Elon Musk’s proposal to nuke the Martian poles. The dissent was that it would create a radioactive wasteland of the planet. The counter proposal was to drive asteroids or comets into the poles for the same effect. Problem is, we aren’t capable of either method yet.
3. We need to take care of ourselves, now. It’s imperative we survive to the point we might be able to prevent a global extinction. But with the “now now now” mentality that leads to ignoring climate change for maximized profits, or needlessly overusing and misusing antibiotics on our foods, or simply just squandering our resources in throwaway society, we’re not going to last long enough.

I give the possibility that technology will save our asses a snowball’s chance in hell, maybe a little less.

About the author: Jeff Kay, U.S. Navy, Retired, Modern Renaissance Man

Will technology progress enough over the next billion years to save life on earth from the dying sun? originally appeared on Quora.

You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

Image via Shutterstock

For this weekend’s Sunday Matinee, we’re going back to 1987 for Masters of the Universe. This live action adaptation of the Mattel franchise was a critical box office failure, but for b-movie campiness? You can’t get much better.

The cartoon series is a bit better remembered, but this film was adapted from the toy line itself, rather than off of the cartoons themselves.

So, sit back, watch and follow along with your fellow io9 commenters.

Illustrator and designer Sean Coleman has been getting ready for the Sherlock victorian special, the Abomitable Bride, and he’s created two posters to celebrate.

These are pretty excellent, and they would serve as fantastic posters for the show on their own.

[Coleman Design via Mark Gatiss]

As the world’s top carbon offenders attempt to one-up each other with commitments in Paris this week, one country is quietly snickering from the sidelines. That’d be Uruguay, which already sources a staggering 94.5% of its electricity from renewables.

Yes, you read that correctly, and no, I didn’t misplace a decimal. Uruguay used to be as oil-hungry as the rest of us, but over the past ten years, the country has managed to wean itself off fossil fuels without hiking consumer costs or relying on government subsidies. Renewable energy now accounts for 55% of Uruguay’s total energy output, compared with a 12% world average. What’s more, Uruguay has managed to foster a diverse mix of wind, solar, biomass, and hydropower industries, increasing its resilience to natural disasters.

What’s the 3.4 million-strong nation’s secret? No technological miracles—just decent natural conditions and a smart regulatory environment. Per The Guardian:

Along with reliable wind – at an average of about 8mph – the main attraction for foreign investors like Enercon is a fixed price for 20 years that is guaranteed by the state utility. Because maintenance costs are low (just 10 staff) and stable, this guarantees a profit.

As a result, foreign firms are lining up to secure windfarm contracts. The competition is pushing down bids, cutting electricity generating costs by more than 30% over the past three years.

The progress Uruguay has made toward decarbonizing its economy is impressive, but this little nation’s far from finished. At the Paris climate summit this week, Uruguay offered one of the most ambitious carbon pledges to date, promising to cut emissions by 88% by 2017, compared with the country’s 2009-2013 emissions levels.

While others nations split hairs over percentages and five year commitments, the world would do well to take a good look at Uruguay. Decarbonizing won’t be easy, but it isn’t impossible, either.

[The Guardian]

Follow the author @themadstone

Top image: Tumbling Run / Flickr

The Unity Module is the core of the International Space Station, the hub connecting all the specialized modules into a functional structure. When joined with the Zarya module, the pair turned an isolated module floating in space into a a space station.

The American-made Unity module was carried into orbit as the primary cargo of STS-88 on the space shuttle Endeavour. The module was mated with the previously-launched Russian-made Zarya module on December 6, 1998, marking the first step in assembling the International Space Station. Continuous human habitation of the station wouldn’t start until nearly two years later after the arrival of the Z1 truss and the Zvezda Service Module.

Spring 1997: The Unity module undergoes testing prior to joining the Zarya module in forming the core of the International Space Station. Image credit: NASA/JSC

The Unity module was the first American contribution to the International Space Station, built in NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama. The 7 meter (22 feet) long cylinder stretches over 4 meters (14 feet) in diameter, with six hatches to connect to spacecraft and other modules.

Astronaut James H. Newman completing hooking up data and power cables to join the Zarya and Unity modules. Image credit: NASA/JSC

In the present station configuration, the Unity module connects to pretty much everything. Originally attached to the Zarya module (a control center for electrical power, storage, propulsion, and guidance), the many hatches now attach to the Destiny Laboratory module, the Tranquility module (with the awe-inspiring cupola) and the Leonardo Permanent Multipurpose Module (storage space for supplies and waste).

It’s also the attachment point for the Z1 truss, a structural support for unpressurized necessities like the gyroscope, communications, and plasma contactors. The last remaining hatches are for getting into and out of the space station: the Unity module is home to both the Pressurized Mating Adapter (for incoming spacecraft) and the Quest Joint Airlock (the main airlock for spacewalks).

The first step in assembling the International Space Station. Image credit: NASA/JSC

Top image: December 1998: The Zarya and Unity modules connect to form the core of the International Space Station. Credit: NASA/JSC

Contact the author at mika.mckinnon@io9.com or follow her at @MikaMcKinnon.

It’s proving hard for the Cygnus spacecraft to get off the ground for its return-to-flight! After getting rained out Thursday and shoved around by gusts of wind Friday and Saturday, this is the fourth attempt for the cargo craft to deliver supplies to the space station. Watch live as we count down to the 4:44pm ET attempt!

This is the first mission for the Cygnus spacecraft since the previous one was destroyed in October 2014 by an Antares rocket explosion. Orbital ATK’s Enhanced Cygnus is redesigned with more room for cargo. This is the first time a Cygnus is launching on an United Launch Alliance Atlas V rocket, and the first time it’s launching out of Cape Canaveral in Florida. The rocket has the power and flexibility for a 30-minute launch window that opens at 4:44pm ET. You can watch the launch preparations live here starting at 3:45pm ET:

After getting rained out or windblown the previous attempts, the weather report leading up to the window is a reassuring 70% chance of being good enough for launch. As of the start of coverage, a few cumulus clouds are in the area with scattered showers, but windspeeds have dropped dramatically compared to the morning. The launch team has also switched to manual wind gust monitoring with human judgement instead of an automatic cutoff switch. While it might seem odd a massive rocket launch could be cancelled by a stiff breeze, the concern is that a strong enough gust of wind could cause the spacecraft to drift into the support scaffolding, causing an explosion.

The new spacecraft configuration has 25% more cargo volume, and a more efficient service module allowing it to carry a heavier payload. If it succeeds, this will be the fourth Orbital ATK mission (OA4) of approximately 10 as part of their commercial resupply services contract to deliver 28,700 kilograms (63,272 pounds) to the International Space Station.

If the launch succeeds, the rocket will deliver Cygnus into orbit within 21 minutes, or less than the average time for a pizza delivery. Once on its own, the space swan will spread its new, Ultraflex solar arrays and upgraded power systems to arrive at the station on December 9th. At the station, astronauts will unload 3,349.0 kilograms (7,383.3 pounds) of cargo before reloading the spacecraft with garbage for a destructive reentry in January.

Launch schematic for OA-4 from launch to interception with the International Space Station. Image credit: Orbital ATK

If the spacecraft launches today, it’ll rendezvous with the space station on December 9th. If the launch is scrubbed again, it’s time for the mission planners to get very creative. One possibility is that instead of boosting Cygnus straight to the International Space Station, the Atlas V will use its flexibility to deliver the spacecraft into an orbit where it can loiter in space for several weeks. Due to an annual sun-angle blackout, no spacecraft can dock with the space station between Christmas Eve and January 3, 2016.

It has been far too long since we saw the Canadarm2 reach out to grapple a Cygnus spacecraft. Image credit: NASA

While we’d rather the launch was late and safe than now but exploded all over the landscape, it can be awfully hard to be patient during these countdowns!

Update: SUCCESS!!!!

[NASA | Orbital | Orbital]

Top image: Atlas V rocket with Cygnus on board awaiting launch. Credit: NASA

Contact the author at mika.mckinnon@io9.com or follow her at @MikaMcKinnon.

So, I have a confession to make: this project isn’t done yet, and I don’t have final, full kit pictures yet. I’ll explain in a bit, but I do have pictures of something else: the helmet.

I’ve held off on doing the helmet because it’s probably the most important part of the suit, but also because it’s a pain in the ass to put together. It’s finicky and detailed, and I wanted to make sure I did it properly.

So, along with several other Vermonters who are currently building Stormtroopers, we held a build day yesterday under the supervision of one of our members who’s done helmets before.

Previously, I’ve trooped with an MRCE Stormtrooper helmet. That was a pre-made helmet that needed a couple of modifications, but ultimately replaced my FX Helmet.

The original FX helmet is cartoonishly large: it’s got a flat dome, and it’s really not a good helmet. When you know what you’re looking for, they jump right out at you as being not right.

In the image above, the FX helmets are all the ones but me on the far left. They’re broader and a bit larger in size, but the key problems are the huge frown and the flat top. The MRCE helmet has it’s own problems, but it’s more accurate in size.

First, here’s the requirements for an Empire Strikes Back accurate helmet:

For 501st approval:

• Traps (trapezoids on dome of helmet) and tears (area beneath the corners of eye lenses) are grey.
  
• Rear traps and tears have vertical black lines.
  
• Lenses are a flat smoke or green sufficiently dark enough to obscure the costumer’s eyes.
  
• The “ear” bars have three or four bumps and are painted grey, with a black outline. Painting the bumps with rank stripes (highlighted) in black is optional.
  
• Frown is painted black and does not leave the teeth area. Eight or six total teeth on the frown are cut out.
  
• Tube stripes are medium blue, should be 13 per side, but can be 9 and 16 per side with the curve bends extending backwards.
  
• Vocoder (vertically ribbed chin detail) is painted black.
  
• Aerators/Hovi mix tips (cylinders on either side of the vocoder) are black or painted black.
  
• Tears, traps, and tube stripes should be decals but can be hand painted, or decals that replicate hand painted.
  
• Mesh may be used behind the frown to obscure the face of the wearer.
  
• Note: The helmet is accurate in detail and proportion to official references.
  
• Many commercially available helmets or those considered disproportionate in size or shape are ineligible.
  

For level two certification (if applicable):

• Ears shall have three screws used per side, one above and below the ear bar and one at the base of the helmet.
  
• Traps/tears and tube stripes shall be decals (with the correct ESB details), no hand-painting or decals that replicate hand painted.
  
• Traps/tears may be either ANH grey or a slightly bluer shade of ANH grey.
  
• Ear bars shall have four bumps only, not three.
  
• Correct ‘Hovi mic’ aerator tips.
  

For level three certification (if applicable):

• Ear bars shall have only two to three bumps painted in black (rank stripes).
  
• Neck trim shall be of an s-type profile rather than a u-type profile.
  

So, let’s get started.

The first thing to do is to trim out the excess.I did a little of this, but the major things, like the holes for the eyes and frown, needed to be trimmed out. This was done with Dremel.

We used a wheel with the frown, taking each hole from the back, which allowed each one to be cut without risking the plastic on the outside.

After those were cut open, I used a set of files to square out the holes, and sandpaper to smooth it all out.

The next step was the back cap. Unlike the FX helmet, which comes in three parts (Dome, back and front), this just comes in two, like the ones seen in the film: the face and the back. This had to be trimmed down and smoothed out, although all of these surfaces would be covered up somehow.

The first thing to go on was the brow trim, which is simple automotive trimming that slides right on. It doesn’t even require glue:

With that in place, the face can be positioned: these two parts need to be centered with one another.

With both parts lined up, we had to get them connected. Right at the ears, we drilled a hole, and riveted each side together:

A second rivet on the bottom of the helmet prevents both parts from sliding back and forth.

The next step was to cover that seam with the ears. These are the most frustrating parts: by design, they aren’t supposed to fit flush with the helmet, so there’s a tiny gap. But, they do need to cover that seam. There’s a lot of precision cutting and trimming that needs to be done.

After much complaining about how these were designed, I had them trimmed and sanded to my satisfaction. Each one is then connected to the side of the helmet with three screws: two on the circle, and one on the bottom. We drilled holes for these through the helmet, and used a long bolt and nut to secure it in place.

Next, I took my drill and drilled two holes in the front for the aerators. These were simple resin-cast pieces, with a screw embedded in them. They were secured in place with a washer and nut. After that, I installed a flat strip of plastic for the lens - it’s connected at each ear and wraps around.

The kit came with decals for the helmet - six in all. Two under the eyes, two at the temples and two at the back of the head. The cheeks also have bars, which are applied carefully. Fortunately,these all stick pretty nicely, and they’re designed to replicate the hand-painted look of the originals. With some paint, I painted up the screws, so that they don’t stand out.

Next, the frown needed to be painted. I used tape as a guide. The main difference between the troopers in A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back is that the frown is painted black, as opposed to grey.

The chin is also painted black. From there, I used another strip of automotive stripping, and installed that around the inside edge of the helmet, along with a little glue to hold it in there.

After that dried, I flipped the bucket over. With some blocks of foam, I padded out the sides, so that my ears don’t hit the exposed bolts, and so that the helmet doesn’t rock from side to side. Finally, with a bit of hot glue, I installed the mesh that goes under the frown:

And with that, it’s a completed bucket!

It came out nicely. It’s a little tighter than my previous one, but I can at least wear my glasses under it. It’s also considerably lighter than my MRCE one.

I’ll need to do a little cleanup here and there - the black paint bled under the tape a little, but for the most part, this is ready.

The rest of the armor... is not.

I’d been hoping that I’d be able to throw the rest of it on, and did start with a test fit, sticking everything together. For the most part, it fits well - the legs and arms fit well, as well as the chest and shoulders.

The abs plate, however, does not:

Doing some research and comparison photos, the abs plate for the MTK sculpt is quite a bit shorter than my older FX. I’m 6 feet tall, and that’s actually tall for a stormtrooper, as it turns out.

The chest, while I thought it held up nicely before with the straps that I’d put in, pops out behind the abs, and it’s not a good look.

I think what I need to do is to cut the abs plate in half, where the belt covers it, and shim it with another piece of plastic (The trusty for sale signs that I have will come in handy.) That’ll give me a couple of extra inches that it looks like I’ll need to make this fit properly. I think, in order for that to work, I’ll need to add on some additional rivets and snaps to the belt, which will hold it firmly in place.

So, no full test fit this time, because there’s still more work to be done. I’ve got 11 days to make it work.

One thing that I’ll say about this, though: getting a group of people together to work on the same thing? It’s a fantastic way to get armor built. Here in Vermont, we’ve got 5-6 people all building from the same kit at the same time, and having everyone in the room doing the same thing is really useful. 1) You can share tools and see how people are doing things, 2) you can all figure out how to work on the armor the right ways and 3), when you pop on the right soundtrack of 80s hits? Magic happens.

Next week: will this armor come together before the film hits? Stay tuned!

When the first Star Wars movie came out in 1977, Toyota had a Celica painted and sticker’d up with Darth Vader and friends (technically enemies, actually.) The car was given away, the creators got mired in legal trouble, and now that we’re riding a fresh wave of Star Wars PR somebody wants this thing back.

Man, remember when you could get a car for $2,997 that got 38 MPG? Granted, that’s more like $12,000 today. And the ’77 Corolla would not do well by today’s crash standards. And who knows if those MPG ratings were worth anything. But still. Nostalgia.

Incredibly, the blog Speed Hero seems to have a pretty complete history of the Star Wars Celica. They credit John Sladek, then-owner of Delphi Auto Designs, with doing up the concept art.

Then apparently things got interesting at Delphi; Speed Hero says the company’s main investor was arrested for smuggling hash oil, another was kidnapped, a Delphi employee was murdered, and by the beginning of 1978 nobody really knows where the Celica went.

Here’s the car with, allegedly, Delphi’s secretary in 1977. Cute Wesley Crusher onesie, too bad that’s the wrong Star–! Also the wrong decade. Also, have you noticed that women are wearing things like this again? Just Star Wars, all old things are new again.

So will this Celica, if it ever gets tracked down. Toyota GB’s official blog says a Hollywood producer named Dean Shada is now looking for the car and wants you to hit him up if you’ve seen it.

Do you think anybody will ever go looking for or giving a crap about the Minions Mini? Just kidding, I’m pretty sure that’s not real.

Contact the author at andrew@jalopnik.com.

I can’t stand Elmo, just can’t deal with this damn Muppet anymore. He’s cute, he’s shrill, and he has made Sesame Street worse.

I write this knowing that many people love Elmo, but Sesame Street’s most-marketed character is an over-exposed drag. He has managed, ironically, to make a children’s show too childish. Thanks in large part to Elmo, Sesame Street is now a less sophisticated and less useful tool for kids to learn from.

This sentiment may hurt, but it’s time to do something about this furry, red problem.

Elmo took a rocky road to his current, unprecedented popularity. Muppets creator Jim Henson believed in allowing a character to grow organically; his guiding philosophy was that each Muppet had a distinct personality; it was the job of the puppeteer to uncover it. Thus, Frank Oz (Grover, Bert) or Richard Hunt (Don Music, Gladys the Cow) or Fran Brill (Prairie Dawn) would slowly experiment with voices and personalities, however long it took, until something stuck.

Nothing, however, seemed to stick for Elmo.

Elmo was a background character starting in the early ‘70s, but he never made a mark, and was kicked from puppeteer to puppeteer until 1984. That’s when Hunt, the latest performer to give the furry red monster a whirl, threw the Muppet across the room, where it landed in the hands of Kevin Clash, as the story is explained in a documentary about Clash and Elmo. Hunt, a veteran on Henson’s crew, challenged the young Clash to see if he could devise a new voice.

Hunt hated the little red Muppet, then called ‘Baby Monster.’ He thought Baby Monster was too cutesy, and indeed, the design of Elmo was more adorable and accessible than most Henson creations. The Muppets that preceded Elmo were huggable, but they had an edge to them—a bold facial feature or eccentricity that kept them from saccharine territory. And some of the monsters were downright scary looking. Take a look at this guy:

Or this guy:

Or how about this guy:

Clash’s interpretation of Elmo aged the character down. Whereas Hunt had given the character a gruff, caveman gimmick, Clash molded the Muppet into a three-and-a-half-old who embodied love—lots of hugs and lots of kisses. And thus, Elmo was born.

Taken by himself, the character was lovable, but not substantial. His main job was to be unfailingly cute, cheerful, and naive—namely, to act like a happy three-and-a-half year-old. It’s extremely appropriate that Elmo refers to himself in the third person, because Elmo is the only thing that Elmo is concerned with. Other characters were more grounded and had specific, research-based reasons for being on the cast. Oscar the Grouch was created as an indirect representation of the poor and underprivileged—easily judged from the outside, but possessing a good heart on the inside. Herry Monster was a stand-in for every oversized kid, who felt big, awkward, and clumsy versus his peers. Telly Monster stood for all the worries and anxieties that a child might have, when trying new things or confronting old fears.

But Elmo only stood for Elmo—how the world would affect him, rather than how he could affect the world. Or, to paraphrase Louis C.K., three-year-olds are assholes—they’re selfish and unaware by their very nature. But this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially when Elmo had a foil character, who could highlight his childishness.

Take a look at this early sketch, which pairs Kermit the Frog and Elmo to hilarious effect.

The essential thing to note is that Kermit garners our sympathy. Elmo is cute, sure, but he’s also a massive pain in the ass. This is the sort of dynamic that the Muppets thrive upon—taking two characters, and letting their differing personalities drive the sketch—Elmo’s relentless, oblivious enthusiasm versus Kermit’s patience and overall squeamishness.

There are many antagonistic, odd couple pairings on Sesame Street, just like this one. Bert and Ernie. Prairie Dawn and Cookie Monster. Grover and Mr. Johnson. We loved Ernie, Cookie Monster, and Grover, and laughed at their antics. But at the same time, we knew that we shouldn’t behave like them in public.

The same used to be true for Elmo. He may have been closest to his audience’s age, but he was not the one that the kids were meant to aspire to. Like in this sketch, where Ernie clearly takes a big brother role in the dynamic.

Elmo was one small part of a large, repertory cast, which is how it should have remained. But at some point in the mid-’90s, Elmo began to hog more and more real estate on the show.

It started in small ways. A lot of stories used to be based around Big Bird, who was psychologically characterized as a six-year-old. And in a lot of ways, this was ideal—six years old was on the older end of Sesame Street’s age demographic, and Big Bird served as both a role model and a peer to his audience. Big Bird’s comparative maturity also meant that he could project a wide range of emotions—he was ‘old enough’ to understand mature concepts, such as the permanence of Mr. Hooper’s death.

The writers even felt confident enough write a divorce storyline for his best friend Snuffy—although that episode would be nixed before it went on the air. And more recently, Big Bird’s nest was destroyed in a storm—a story inspired by Hurricane Katrina. The writers could always trust Big Bird to tackle emotionally complex issues about loss and its consequences.

Elmo stories, on the other hand, tend to affirm and celebrate the child’s perspective. Rarely, if ever, is Elmo’s innocence challenged, or is he forced to think about someone’s happiness other than his own. He spends most of his time hanging out with Zoe, Abby, Telly, and Baby Bear—Muppets who share his emotional maturity, and unlike Grover, Kermit, and Ernie, do nothing to push him. In fact, he is the de facto leader of his group—the dialogue lowers to Elmo’s level, rather than rising to an older character’s. And while this is cute and fun, it gets old fast, and it doesn’t really go anywhere. Elmo is learning about counting to four and different shapes, but he’s not learning a whole lot of life lessons.

At his worst, Elmo encourages immature behavior rather than discouraging it. I remember a storyline years ago that perfectly encapsulated this: Episode 3280, Season 26. The storyline begins with Gina’s boyfriend, Jesse, reading a story to Elmo and his friends. After Jesse is finished, all the kids want to take the book home. But, luckily Jesse has a copy for each of them. It was a cheap dodge to a teachable moment.

Later, Gina and Jesse plan a picnic date. Elmo wants to tag along—in fact, he assumes he’s tagging along and gears up, without asking for permission. Gina tells him that this picnic is for grown-ups. Elmo is visibly sad and downcast. He guilts the couple. So the boyfriend cracks and lets Elmo tag along. No gentle reprimand. No establishment of boundaries. Just a full-on, unreserved capitulation to Elmo’s wants and needs.

“YAAYY!!”

What message does all this send? It’s easy to imagine Gina telling Big Bird, “Sometimes, Big Bird, adults need time too. If you want to go to the picnic you should ask for permission.” Nah. Elmo’s method is better. Intrude on personal space! Whine and quiver your lip, kids! Guilt gets things done! Cuteness will get you everywhere!

That’s not to say that Elmo does not occasionally star in ‘serious sketches’—he does. A new friend might be autistic or be HIV Positive, and Elmo helps to dispel common myths and stereotypes. That’s fantastic, but notice how it’s always about what he can do to help others fit in—he’s never had to fit in himself. He never experiences the pain directly—he always experiences it secondhand, from the perspective of an outsider looking in.

And then there’s the 9/11 episode, which, again, missed a teachable opportunity. When Hooper’s Store almost burns down, the firefighters take him around the firehouse to show him there’s nothing to be scared of. The resolution is too simple and immediate: Elmo’s scared and then Elmo’s happy again. He expresses his fears principally through body language and silence; he doesn’t ask the questions that many kids would need the answers to.

Big Bird, on the other hand, always vocalized his concerns directly, and wrestled with scarier, connected questions about abandonment. And Big Bird held onto those sad memories afterwards, even after he made peace with them; that hand-drawn picture of Mr. Hooper hung by his nest for years.

Now admittedly, it’s impossible to get a three-year-old like Elmo to care about someone’s needs before his own, let alone ask important, deeper questions about solitude and personal safety. But that’s exactly my point; a three-year-old Muppet should not be the lead for this show. Elmo used to embody childlike characteristics that children should be moving away from. But now, he’s modeling, for four and five-year-old children, behavior they should have already left behind. The show used to recognize this and poked gentle fun at Elmo’s immaturity. But in recent times, the writers have forgotten to.

Elmo’s omnipresence also comes at the exclusion of the remaining cast. So many characters, both human and Muppet, have been all but evicted from Sesame Street. Herry. The Two-Headed Monster. Grover. Prairie Dawn. The majority of their appearances are from old, recycled sketches. They have been reduced to side characters and are rarely given big storylines or equal screen time.

And the newer Elmo playmates? They’re lamer substitutes for the original Muppet cast members, and they interact almost exclusively with other Muppets their age. Zoe was, for all intents and purposes, a girl Elmo, who was researched for appeal and mass consumption. Baby Bear had no personality aside from acting like a baby. Abby Cadabby was cute, sure. But remember when Muppets didn’t have to be cute? Abby was a magical girl stock character, created with marketing near the forefront.

The Elmo obsession reached its nadir when the writers started “Elmo’s World.” For an entire decade (1999-2009), Sesame Street dedicated the last 15 minutes of its show to this ridiculous pile of pap starring Elmo. No one else. Just Elmo speaking to the camera, a goldfish, a weird mime named Mr. Noodle, and a bunch of crayon drawings that established the setting. And it’s not like they fenced off Elmo from the other 45 minutes, which would have allowed them to focus on the remainder of the cast. Elmo would often time star in the main storyline, and in the sketches, and in the concluding “Elmo’s World” segment.

When “Elmo’s World” ended, that wasn’t the end of it. Oh no. Instead, it was replaced with “Elmo the Musical,” a new 15 minute segment with more songs, more locations, and more CGI Muppets—a horrifying, recent trend, which does a lot to strip away the show’s warmth. And like “Elmo’s World,” “Elmo the Musical” is almost completely disconnected from the rest of the street. Elmo disappears into his own little technicolor world of fantasy and imagination. That leaves his audience’s imagination behind, by doing all the mental work for them.

The show’s Elmo obsession shows little sign of stopping—he’s the ‘go to’ for talk show appearances and celebrity cameos. Marketing continues to place him from and center, often with no one accompanying him. His commercialized face is plastered everywhere. And that’s unfortunate. It’s a blow to the show’s diversity and integrity, and it’s a blow to fans like me, who have followed Jim Henson and all things Muppet-related for 30+ years.

The new HBO version of Sesame Street will not stem the tide. They’ve already announced that Elmo will be one of the main characters on the show (they’re actually limiting the cast of Muppets even further). And since the show is now going to run for half an hour instead of its usual hour-length, the fight for character time is going to be even more fierce.

I’m doing something about this.

I have a 13-month-old son, and my wife and I have laid down some basics boundaries for his protection. No cable news on TV—he may not be able to speak, but he still can pick up on other people’s stress. No daily photo updates on Facebook—he’ll have plenty future opportunities to document his entire life on social media, should he choose to do so in the future.

And no Elmo merchandise. Is this petty? I don’t care. I’m not getting involved. If he appears as a side character in a book, fine. If he appears in some group sketch with other Muppets, I’ll look the other way. But for all intents and purposes, Elmo products are banned.

We’re a Grover family, the whole way. Now there’s a Muppet who never talked down to or regressed his audience. Grover would bust his furry blue butt to teach a lesson, even if he had to run himself into the ground to do it.

My son has a Super Grover doll, complete with a helmet and cape that he loves. When we go to a bookstore, I try to find Sesame Street books that star non-Elmo characters. This is an arduous task; 99.9% of modern Sesame Street books are Elmo-centric, but I do what I can, and I also find a lot of the older, out-of-print books on Amazon. We watch classic Sesame Street sketches on YouTube together; in most of them, there’s no furry red monster to be found.

I labor under inevitability; eventually, just like death, taxes, and unrequited love, my son will be exposed to Elmo, especially if he watches the TV show. As a father, all I can hope for is that I’ve taught my son to know right from wrong.

Kevin is an AP English Language teacher and freelance writer from Queens, NY. His focus is on video games, American pop culture, and Asian American issues. Kevin has also been published in VIBE, Complex, Joystiq, Salon, PopMatters, WhatCulture, and Racialicious. You can email him at kevinjameswong@gmail.com, and follow him on Twitter @kevinjameswong.

Top illustration by Sam Woolley. Sesame Street screengrabs via the Muppet Wikia.

Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming film The Hateful Eight is coming out at the end of December, but they’ve just released a bunch of clips of the movie. This movie is looking awesome.

Here, we get to see Samuel L. Jackson’s Major Marquis Warren joining the group, an introduction to Kurt Russell’s as John Ruth, the revelation that there’s a troublemaker in their midst, Walton Goggins being awesome, and a bit more.

Here’s the clips:

The Hateful Eight opens on December 25th.

As delegates at the 2015 United Nations Climate Change Conference deliberate the next steps for how to approach climate change, a group of astronauts have recorded a message for them to urge action.

Eighteen astronauts recounted how their vantage point above the Earth have given them a unique view of the planet: they can see just what industrialization has done to our atmosphere and environment, and have the unique privilege of being able to see the planet from above.

Astronauts have always been particularly able to see the Earth for what it is: our home. The picture of the planet snapped by the crew of Apollo 8 would become a powerful symbol of the environmental movement, and as climate change becomes more of a threat, the astronauts who look down on the Earth can see just how rising global temperatures are affecting the planet.

Image credit: NASA

The Cygnus has its wings again! After four attempts, the cargo tug is finally on its way to the International Space Station. The commercial spacecraft will deliver equipment and supplies to astronauts when it arrives at the station on December 9th.

Cygnus launching at sunset over Cuba, as seen from the International Space Station. Image credit: NASA/Scott Kelly

After the first launch attempt on December 3rd was scrubbed due to foul weather, a second scrubbed by gusting winds, and a third postponed for winds again, the Cygnus spacecraft launched at 4:44pm ET on December 6th. This is a return-to-flight mission: the first flight of the Cygnus since the previous spacecraft was destroyed during an Antares rocket explosion in October 2014. This is a journey of other firsts, too: the first of the new Enhanced Cygnus configuration, its first launch an an Atlas V rocket, and its first launch out of Cape Canaveral, Florida.

Atlas V blasting off on December 6, 2015. Image credit: ULA

The launch was absolutely picture-perfect. The countdown had no issues or holds. The Atlas V blasted off within a tenth of a second of the very start of the 30-minute window, firing both main and second stage boosters exactly as scheduled to deliver the Cgynus spacecraft to orbit in 21 minutes. Now the spacecraft will deploy its solar panels and use its newly-improved power system to sneak up on the International Space Station, arriving the morning of December 9, 2015. Astronauts will direct the Canadarm2 to grapple the spacecraft, pulling it in to dock later that day.

OA4 mission plaque moved over to active status in the mission control room. Image credit: Royce Renfew

The return to flight mission is using both a new launch configuration and a new spacecraft. This is the first launch using an United Launch Alliance Atlas V instead of the Orbital ATK Antares until they finish upgrading their rockets with new RD-181 engines.

December 3, 2015: A United Launch Alliance Atlas V rocket with Orbital ATK’s Cygnus cargo spacecraft awaits its launch window at Space Launch Complex 41, Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. Image credit: ULA

This is also the first launch of the Enhanced Cygnus, as the spacecraft has been modified with a larger cargo module (increasing volume by 25% and payload mass by 1,200 kilograms) and more mass-efficient service module with upgraded power systems and Ultraflex solar arrays.

S.S. Deke Slayton II is a tribute to the Mercury astronaut of the same name. Image credit: NASA

The fourth Cygnus commercial resupply service is named S.S. Deke Slayton II in tribute to the astronaut of the same name for pioneering commercial spaceflight. Slayton was a decorated Air Force test pilot before being selected as one of NASA’s original astronauts, the Mercury 7. After being grounded for a heart arrhythmia during the Mercury program, he became the first Chief of the Astronauts Office and ran crew selection for Gemini and Apollo missions including the Moon landing. He eventually received medical clearance to participate in the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project, then took up monitoring testing for the space shuttles.

When Slayton retired from the space agency, he became an advocate and driving force behind the development of commercial spaceflight. He served as president of Space Services, Inc, and was the flight director for the launch of the first commercial rocket, Conestoga. He continued his public service on the Commercial Space Advisory Committee for the Department of Transportation.

Slayton died from a malignant brain tumour in 1993.

The Canadarm2 empty and waiting for the arrival of Cygnus. Image credit: NASA

Once the spacecraft reaches orbit, it won’t intercept the station until two and a half days later. A pair of NASA astronauts, Kjell Lindgren and Scott Kelly, will manipulate the Canadarm2 into grappling the cargo ship and pulling it close to the station. This will be the first time any cargo ship is berthed to the Earth-facing port on the Unity module, opened as part of station reconfigurations for future commercial crew missions.

Keeping astronauts equipped is getting rough. Since the previous Antares/Cygnus explosion, only two of three SpaceX launch attempts succeeded (the third exploded in June), and four of five Russian Progress cargo tugs made it to the station (the fifth went astray in April). The only launch of the Japanese HTV succeeded. After all the disasters, the astronauts are well-supplied with basic necessities like food, water, and air, but are running low on critical parts for repairs, and on equipment for science experiments.

BASS-M flame tests will characterize the behaviour of flame-resistant materials in space. Image credit: NASA

Cygnus’ cargo is a mix of essential supplies and equipment, research materials, and personal goods. The notable projects buried in the 3,500 kilograms (7,700 pounds) of cargo are:

• Microsoft HoloLens devices for NASA’s Sidekick project;
• an improved jet pack, SAFER, for spacewalks;
• a microsatellite deployer with microsatellite;
• Space Automated Bioproduct Lab (SABL), a new life science facility for growing cell cultures, bacteria and other microgranisms;
• Packed Bed Reactor Experiment (PBRE), an investigation into mixtures of gas and liquids flowing through porous media (like reactors, scrubbers, and strippers);
• experiments to characterize the behaviour of molten steel;
• Burning and Suppression of Solids – Milliken (BASS-M), an evaluation of flame-resistant textiles in space;
• a pair of Node satellites as a technology demonstration on new network capabilities essential to spacecraft swarms;
• a pair of Astro Pis, specially augmented Raspberry Pi microcomputers loaded with experimental Python programs written by school children; and
• next-generation Nitrogen/Oxygen Recharge System (NORS) tanks.

Cygnus is also carrying LeVar Burton’s Rhino Book for the Storytime from Space project for astronauts reading Earth children stories. Image credit: Reading Rainbow

The spacecraft will stay attached to the space station while astronauts unload materials then repack it with nearly 1,400 kilograms (3,000 pounds) of garbage. It’ll detach from the station approximately a month later, heading for a fiery death during destructive reentry into the Earth’s atmosphere in January 2016.

The Cygnus launch is the first flight for the vessel since the previous Cygnus was destroyed by an Antares rocket explosion in October 2014. It is the fourth launch of Orbital’s commercial resupply contract.

You can rewatch the launch here:

[NASA | NASA | NASA]

Top image: The Atlas V blasting off on December 6, 2015. Credit: NASA/Mika McKinnon

Contact the author at mika.mckinnon@io9.com or follow her at @MikaMcKinnon.

Seals and otters stay warm in cold water because their fur is ideally structured for trapping insulating air. These unique hairy surfaces could inspire the design of new kinds of textiles, such as wet suits that are textured instead of smooth to keep divers warm in cold water.

MIT graduate student Alice Nasto described results from her group’s research into the water-repellant properties of fur and feathers last week at a meeting of the American Physical Society’s Division of Fluid Dynamics in Boston. They found that the geometry of certain furs and feathers — the length of the hair, and how far they were spaced apart — play a significant role in how well they repel water and insulate animals from the cold.

Seals, otters, and certain sea birds don’t have thick layers of body fat to protect them from the cold. Not only is a seal’s hair denser than other mammals, but it has a unique microstructure that keeps the hair tangled. This makes it easier to trap air between the hairs, and since air is less thermally conductive than water, it serves the same purpose as insulting layers of body fat.

For their experiments, the MIT team created an idealized fur (top image) from a soft silicone rubber material with laser cutting molds, so they could control the spacing and length of the hairs. They tested their plastic “fur coats” by dipping them in a fluid using a special apparatus to control the diving speed, varying that speed, the viscosity of the fluid, and hair density, among other aspects. They found that the denser and longer the hairs, the more water-repellent the fur proved to be.

Prior work in water-repellant materials has focused largely on the nanoscale structure, but it is challenging to make such materials in sufficiently large quantities to be commercially viable. Seal fur boasts similar water-repellant properties determined by structure at a larger scale (millimeters or even centimeters). So it would be much easier for materials scientists to make their own bio-ispired materials — new fabrics for wet suits, for instance.

The MIT research may also shed further light on how bats drink: they have hairy tongues that help them take up liquid when they drink, an example of capillary action in nature. The bat tongue has applications for dip coating in industry, Nasto said, particularly for coating objects that have textured rather than smooth surfaces. So her work could prove useful there, too.

There could be more to the story than insulating layers of air, however. Last year, Belgian and Moroccan researchers published a paper concluding that hairs in the coats of polar bears and the feathers of peacocks (see image above) reflect infrared light, thereby increasing how much their fur coats insulate against cold weather. That work could help improve building insulation.

References:

Nasto, Alice et al. “Keeping warm with fur in cold water: entrainment of air in hairy surfaces,” Presentation #L28.2, 68th Annual APS Division of Fluid Dynamics meeting, November 23, 2015.

Simonis, P. et al. (2014) “Radiative contribution to thermal conductance in animal furs and other woolly insulators,” Optics Express 22(2): 1940.

[Via APS Division of Fluid Dynamics]

Top image: An idealized model of fur. Credit: Felice Frankel. Bottom image: magnified barbules of a white peacock’s feather. Credit: Optics Express.

We’ve got 11 days before Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens in theaters, and I know that it’s going to be a long 11 days.

Thinking about what you’ve seen in the trailers and numerous TV spots, what are you most excited to see on the big screen?

For me personally? I’m excited for the X-Wing battles that we’ve seen a bit of. I’ve really liked what I’ve seen of Abram’s space action in Star Trek, and I can’t wait to see what we have here.

Share below in the comments, and include a picture or clip!

Last week I wrote about Woobots, the wooden robots that transform into wooden vehicles, currently the focus of a successful Kickstarter campaign. This week I play with them.

I won’t waste too much time going over the basics—Woobots are a series of transforming robot toys crafted out of wood. The joints, as in most of today’s wooden toys with movable parts, are wired with elastic, with grooves cut in pieces that need to move about.

They are a charming bunch on screen.

But how do they behave in person?

Bamloff sent along two of the five Woobots for me to try out—the efficiently-named Truck and Jet Fighter.

Truck, in truck mode at least, has movie-era Optimus Prime written all over him.

Jet Fighter, on the other hand, has a lot in common with Dreadwing, a Decepticon bomber from the...I want to say Machine Wars era? He was often paired with a smaller plane/robot. I could look this up, but then I’d spend all day on TFWiki.com and not get anything done.

Both feature relatively simple transformations into robot mode. Between the two, Truck (not monkey) has a great deal more personality, and doesn’t look like movie-era Starscream, which is always a plus.

The Woobots are very nifty, though they do suffer from the same twisty elastic issues most similarly constructed wooden toys do. The limbs can be a bit loose. Oh, and a piece broke off of Jet Fighter, which you can see in the video up top. That’s not good.

“But Fahey?” you ask. “How do they compare to a very dusty and sticker-less version of the popular Laser Optimus Prime from back in the day?” That’s an oddly-specific question.

He’s definitely much taller. Both robots are about the same size as a 12 ounce soda can, while he’s a Monster Energy.

“Can Laser Optimus carry one of them in his arms?”

Yes he can.

“Are piggy back rides possible?”

Most definitely.

“Can Jet Fighter have a turn?”

No. No he cannot. A piece of him broke, and with it my heart.

The Woobots Kickstarter is still going strong, with individual robots and sets still being promised in time for Christmas. They’re crazy, those wooden robot kids.

Contact the author (in vehicle mode) at fahey@kotaku.com or follow him on Twitter at @bunnyspatial

Japan’s Akatsuki spacecraft is desperately trying to claw its way into Venus orbit tonight. After blowing its orbital insertion five years ago, this is an incredible second chance for the spacecraft brought about by impressive ingenuity from the engineering team.

Artist’s concept of Akatsuki observing the clouds of Venus. Image credit: JAXA

Akatsuki originally attempted to slip into orbit around Venus in December 2010. During the extended main engine burn intended to alter its trajectory to orbit the planet, the spacecraft’s fuel valve choked leading to a jump in engine temperature. Although it’s hard to tell from hundreds of millions of kilometers away, it looks like this temperature spike led to structural failures. Just under 3 minutes into the 12-minute burn, the spacecraft started spinning as though the ceramic nozzle directing thrust had fallen apart. The fault-detection system shut down the burn before things got even worse, but the spacecraft missed its window and soared helplessly past Venus out into space.

Venus in ultraviolet taken after the failed orbital insertion in 2010, confirming that Akatsuki’s cameras were still functional. Image credit: JAXA

Akatsuki’s engineers were faced with a functioning spacecraft loaded with gorgeous cameras to track weather, but no planet to observe. Heartbroken but undaunted, they sat down to plan out a daring alternative. Their spacecraft would pass near Venus again one day (today!) and even though the main engine was blown they still had functioning maneuvering thrusters.

It wouldn’t be easy: they had to keep Akatsuki functioning far past its two-year intended lifespan, and it would mean going far closer to the Sun than ever intended. They’d need to get lucky to not be fried by skimming too close, and not get hit by a stray solar storm. But they did get lucky, and tonight is their second chance.

It hasn’t been easy for Akatsuki to stay cool while catching back up with Venus. Image credit: JAXA

Last night, Akatsuki rotated into the correct attitude for orbital insertion. By now, it’s closer to the planet than the Moon is to the Earth. At 23:51 UT (6:51pm ET), the spacecraft will start firing a set of four Reaction Control System thrusters. The burn will last 20 minutes, far beyond design capacity and longer than they’ve ever burned before. This should slip Akatsuki into orbit around Venus—a large, looping orbit at higher altitude than the original mission design, but orbit.

But just in case disaster strikes again, the mission control team have one last trick up their sleeves. At the end of the first burn, the spacecraft will automatically flip around ready to try again with its second set of opposing maneuvering jets.

Simulation of Akatsuki’s second attempt at flinging itself into orbit. Image credit: Isana Kashiwai/Go Miyazaki

If it succeeds, Akatsuki will be the first spacecraft to study Venus since the European Space Agency’s Venus Express hit end-of-life and crashed into the atmosphere last year. The spacecraft is equipped with five cameras to study Venus’s complex weather patterns.

We don’t know of any official live stream to watch along with this outrageous plan. Reader Tanarin points at this Japanese-language stream, while the Planetary Society is hosting this English-language reports from Venus researcher Sanjay Limaye from the control room in Sagamihara.

We won’t even know if it works right away. The Japanese space agency (JAXA) will hold a press conference at noon local time (December 6 10pm ET) to tell us if the jets even fired, but it will take until December 9th (and a second press conference) to know if the maneuvers worked.

You can follow updates from the Akatsuki team on Twitter at @Akatsuki_JAXA. The spacecraft is being tracked by the Deep Space Network as PLC (Planet-C), which you can watch live on the NASA Eyes website. While we have no livestream from mission control, you can watch a real-time simulation of what is ideally happening with Akatsuki here. If you need to keep your fingers busy during the critical moments, you can make a paper scale model of the spacecraft using this pattern.

Akatsuki and Venus together again! Image credit: NVS

UPDATE: Based on the happy expressions, “Yatta!” and celebratory handshakes, it appears the burn went according to plan. But is it enough? The change in velocity (delta-v) needs to be more than 152 metres per second, or else Akatsuki will fling it right back out of Venus orbit again.

During tonight’s press conference, project manager Masato Nakamura reports:

“We have to wait another two days to confirm the orbit. I am very optimistic. It is important to believe in success!”

We also heard that at one point, Akatsuki produced greater than 100% of the theoretical thrust, so performed even better than expected. We’ll be back on Wednesday with confirmation on if the spacecraft now circles Venus, or if it’s still trapped by the Sun’s massive gravitational pull.

[JAXA | Planetary Society | Planetary Society | JAXA]

Top image: Don’t worry Venus, Akatsuki will be back! Credit: JAXA

Contact the author at mika.mckinnon@io9.com or follow her at @MikaMcKinnon.

On December 6th, 1989, Canadian women were targeted, shot, and killed for being engineering students. The Montreal Massacre is a national day of remembrance and action, which makes it the perfect time for IBM to push their pinkification of science campaign.

On December 6th, 1989, fourteen women were killed and another ten women and four men injured during the attack at École Polytechnique in Montreal, Quebec by a gunman screaming about feminists. On December 6th, 2015, IBM decided to relaunch #HackAHairdryer, confirmation of their belief that the only way to interest women in science is by making it all about hair care, cosmetics, and pinkness. These things are in no way equivalent, but the timing leaves a lot to be desired.

Last year I gave remembrance to those killed and injured during the insane attack on women daring to train as engineers. Instead of giving the rampaging asshole a voice, I paid tribute to some of the Canadian women who have made remarkable accomplishments for science and engineering. It wasn’t much—it’s never enough to honour those who paved the way for me to be a woman in science living and working in Canada—but it’s what I could do to celebrate instead of mourn.

This year, I get IBM’s hamfisted attempts to welcome women into science with microaggressions instead. IBM needs to be to downright oblivious to launch this asinine campaign after EDF Energy’s #PrettyCurious fell flat for sexism. Normally I wouldn’t bother commenting on it—I’m too busy discovering countless new heroes like Chikako Hirose, the trajectory designer behind the audacious plan to save Akatsuki, or Helen Battles Sawyer Hogg, the globular clusters expert who has an asteroid named after her. But to relaunch this idiocy on the anniversary of the Montreal Massacre after it already flopped in October is to remind every Canadian woman in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics that we’re still a long, long, long way from being treated as equals.

Hairdryers are remarkably effective at warming up the LED of a Supersting R8 when it’s too cold to display. Courtesy of Mika McKinnon

Women are allowed to use hairdryers, and to like them. Hell, they can even hack them if it tickles their fancy. When I’m doing fieldwork, I keep a hairdryer in my toolbag. I use it to warm up cranky LED displays, gently dry out damp electronics, shrink heatwrap after repairing wires, and give my batteries a tiny boost if the generator is still running strong. I’ve even used it to dry my hair when it was at risk of mildewing after being outdoors in constant downpours for weeks. A hairdryer is a damn useful part of my geophysics field kit. But a hairdryer-based hackathon is not the way to entice women into science without othering the fuck out of them.

Look, I get it. This ridiculous campaign is an attempt to take a traditionally feminine object and mess with it in a manner typically reserved for the masculine domain. But this isn’t how to do it. This is stereotype threat, creating a situation where women can’t engage without fear of confirming a stereotype about their gender and being perceived as foolishly feminine. It’s dumbing shit down because dem womenz can only understand technology when it’s the tools of beauty. It’s the same bullshit behind why online tracking systems decide you’re a dude if you like science but don’t also like beauty, babies, or diets and start serving up ads on men’s razors. The intent is admirable and I applaud the efforts to declare that innovation is independent of gender, but this campaign is a disaster wrapped in candy-toned electrical cords.

The timing to retry the campaign just makes it so much worse. I get that Canadian history is invisible outside the country, but it’s the largest massacre in North America specifically targeting women for being engineers. Surely that’s history worth knowing about if you’re trying to recruit women into engineering! “They mean well,” doesn’t excuse ignorance for a multibillion dollar international corporation.

You want to help women in science, IBM? Sit down with L’Oréal. They’re a makeup company, but they know how to make actually-worthwhile promo videos, and they pony up the cash for science fellowships. Want a hackathon where women turn up? Take a page from Science Hack Day and actively recruit women at the start of the process instead of as afterthoughts. Treat women as diverse humans with individual interests, hobbies, and skills instead of some amorphous mass of beauty-junkies.

And stay the fuck away from my hairdryer.

Top image: Hack a hairdryer like the lady you are. Credit: IBM

The author would apologize for the excessive profanity, but isn’t going to. Instead, you can email her at mika.mckinnon@io9.com or follow her at @MikaMcKinnon.