Isaac Hempstead-Wright teases Bran’s journey ahead in Game of Thrones. Simon Kinberg continues to dance around his role in the next X-Men film. The CW is looking to start casting its Lost Boys show. Plus, familiar faces and foes return in new Flash images, and new footage from Iron Fist and The Handmaid’s Tale. Spoilers Now!
Deadpool 2
Following rumors put forth by The Hashtag Showthat the venerable Hidden Figures star and cosmic songstress Janelle Monáe was suddenly the number one choice to play mutant mercenary Domino, writer Rhett Rheese quickly took to Twitter to deny the report.
Bummer.
X-Men: Supernova
Simon Kinberg will neither confirm or deny he’s directing the next X-Men film, but if he does, you can expect him to write the script:
I’ve read those reports. If I were to direct, I would certainly write. As someone who started his career as a writer then transitioned into being a writer-producer, when I make that transition into directing, I would definitely want to be the writer as well. It’s because I can’t imagine directing something that I didn’t create myself. Having made many great movies, the ones I feel the most emotionally connected to are the ones I wrote.
Kinberg also stressed there are no current plans to recast Wolverine in future X-projects, stating that any potential candidate would have to earn the most coveted blessing of all: Hugh Jackman’s approval.
We haven’t even thought of the next iteration of Wolverine. For all of us, we were keeping our fingers crossed that the audiences would respond to Logan the way they have. I can’t visualize in my head another Wolverine but if that day ever comes, we would talk to Hugh about it.
Entertainment Weekly has revealed a few pictures and teasers for Charlize Theron’s spy-fi thriller, Atomic Blonde, adapted from the comic by Anthony Johnston.
Game of Thrones
Isaac Hempstead-Wright ominously revealed to TV Guide that season seven is all about “connections,” and to “take that how you will.” As for his character, he continues:
I think Bran has transcended ‘growing’. Growing up or being an adult is not on his to-do list anymore. It’s doing what he needs to do. He’s on another plane. It’s not like he has to grow up and prove himself a man. He just knows he has to do his stuff.
Once Upon a Time
Andrew J. West has been cast as a young-at-heart mystery character who plays a significant role in the season (and still potentially series) finale. [Deadline]
The Lost Boys: Males to portray Caucasian, age 18-33, height 5'9 or shorter - this is important! We have wigs if your hair isn’t right. You must be OK with prosthetic make-up, contact lenses and wearing a wig. You should have NO make-up allergies at all and you cannot be claustrophobic. This will work on April 8th and you will go to a fitting prior to the work date. Rate is $100 each for fitting and for work date. Please email if you resemble one of these characters. Please let me know which one you fit (we are numbering them from left to right #1, #2, #3, #4) so when you submit, please put the # of the one you fit best in the subject line. Please email KristanBSubmissions@centralcasting.com
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Former Whedonverse producer Gail Berman is open to more Buffy if Joss Whedon decides to make it (a comment just in time for the show’s 20th anniversary this week).
I would be really happy to get the [revival series] call from Joss.I have my own thoughts of what it would look like, but my own thoughts are not important. It would be what he thought. I will always let everyone know this is all about Joss. I did everything I knew on how to to be supportive of that, but the stories, the direction, the writing and the tale telling, that’s all Joss.
Showrunner Scott Gimple has high praise for the season finale:
[Season 6’s finale] was the noose tightening and things getting darker and darker. This season’s finale has darkness and light, real horrific moments, betrayal, and real moments of beauty, redemption, love and friendship. It’s sort of the panoply of human and Walking Dead experience.
The Legends re-write history with the Spear of Destiny in the synopsis for “Doomworld.”
After obtaining the Spear of Destiny, the Legion of Doom rewrites reality, leaving the Legends changed, perhaps forever. Frightfully, the Legends’ and the world’s hopes rest with Rory (Dominic Purcell), but being the hero is not easy for him. Meanwhile, there is tension within the Legion of Doom and the reason why the Spear of Destiny needs to be destroyed is revealed.
President Lynda Carter (oh, if only) returns in the synopsis for “Distant Sun.”
A large bounty is put out on Supergirl (Melissa Benoist) and aliens from far and near attack National City intent on taking out the woman of steel. Alex (Chyler Leigh) and Maggie (Floriana Lima) run into Maggie’s ex-girlfriend, Emily (guest star Hayley Sales), who is in town for a week. Hank (David Harewood) gets an interesting order from President Marsdin (guest star Lynda Carter).
Secrets and construction site drama abound in a synopsis for “The Outsiders.”
As Fred (Luke Perry) and his crew are about to start construction he loses his crew, which could put his livelihood in jeopardy. Wanting to help his dad, Archie (KJ Apa) and his friends pitch in to help but after one of them is attacked, the gang comes up with a plan that lands them in Southside Serpent territory. With Jughead’s (Cole Sprouse) secret revealed, he is worried about how his friends will react. Meanwhile, Veronica (Camila Mendes) and Betty (Lili Reinhart) suggest throwing Polly (guest star Tiera Skovbye) a baby shower to make her feel better, but Polly is hesitant knowing how everyone feels.
Abra Kadabra makes his debut in the self-titled episode “Abra Kadabra”:
The Flash (Grant Gustin) battles Abra Kadabra (guest star David Dastmalchian), a villain from Earth-19, who makes him a tempting offer: release him and Abra Kadara will reveal Savitar’s true identity. Desperate to save Iris (Candice Patton), Barry considers taking the deal but Gypsy (guest star Jessica Camacho) breaches in to capture the villain for her own reasons and during the melee, Abra Kadabra manages to escape. Barry is furious that Gypsy interfered but Gypsy refuses to back down, forcing Cisco (Carlos Valdes) to take sides. Meanwhile, Julian (Tom Felton) is still a bit cold towards Caitlin (Danielle Panabaker) but when she is severely injured in a battle with Gypsy, he rushes to her side.
Jay Garrick and several ghosts from the past return in images from next week’s episode, “Return to the Speed Force.” Click through to see more. [TV Line]
Naked
Netflix has released a teaser for their time-travel-ish comedy Naked, which involves Marlon Wayans getting caught in a mysterious time loop on his wedding day—one in which he’s perpetually naked.
The Handmaid’s Tale
Hulu has released a brief new trailer in honor of International Women’s Day yesterday.
Finally, a brief synopsis and new images for “The Weeping Somnambulist” have been released. As usual, there are more pictures at the link. [Spoiler TV]
Bobby Becomes a political pawn in the struggle between Earth and Mars.
Additional reporting by Gordon Jackson. Banner art by Jim Cooke.
I have previously asserted that the Fast and the Furious films are in fact a superhero movie franchise where everyone’s superpowers is “cars.” Thanks to this new trailer for the upcoming installment, The Fate of the Furious, I have new evidence backing up my conjecture—namely, Charlize Theron’s villainess summoning whole fleets of cars to do her evil bidding.
Guys, I can’t actually explain how much I love these dumb, wonderful movies if I want to accomplish anything else today, but I will say that my lovely wife and I have said to many family members, friends, and even some new acquaintances, “Have you accepted the Fast and the Furious movies into your life?” We proselytize these things. But I really do believe they’re actual superhero movies. I mean, watch the new F8 trailer, which features the Rock literally altering the path of a torpedo with his hands (while on a car driving at top speed, of course):
If you are interested in hearing the good word and learning to live your life a quarter-mile at a time, email me a self-addressed stamped envelope and I’ll send you my hand-made religious tracts. Fate of the Furious opens April 14.
“How many more innocent people die before you accept that some lives need to be taken?!” That’s Superman yelling at (presumably) Batman in the newest Injustice 2 trailer. Guess the Man of Steel doesn’t think the Dark Knight is quite dark enough.
The new teaser clip for Injustice 2 shows more of the upcoming release’s story , which include an apparently redeemed Hal Jordan (who was a Yellow Lantern in the first game), Harley Quinn teaming up with the Bat-faction again, and a Grodd-led contingent of bad guys. It’s not quite clear who Clark wants Bruce to kill but, given how despotic he’s been in this alternate reality, it’s probably just everyone who’s giving him guff. Injustice 2 is out in May.
Iron Man’s replacement in Marvel’s current comics, Riri Williams, was an MIT student before she started flying high as the Invincible Ironheart. So it’s pretty damn awesome that a group of her real-life alumni have made their own fan film about the young hero and her life at the university.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes—But Some Carry Tubes was made as part of a promotion for MIT’s admissions department to let potential future students know when the university’s admissions decisions would be released. The department does a student-made film like this every year, but Riri’s status as a major new player in the Marvel universe, as well as an MIT alum, made her a pretty perfect candidate for 2017's. Check out the full thing:
And if you happened to have applied for MIT this year and are awaiting your own decision announcement, good luck! At least you now have something cool to watch while you wait.
We’ve finally got a lot more official details about the plot to Thor: Ragnarok, and while there is a lot of Planet Hulk going on, there seems to be a significant lack of, well, Ragnarok in the description we have so far.
EW has a breakdown of the plot of the third Thor movie, and there are a lot of things missing from it. Mostly, it seems like a lot of detail about the beginning and then some very vague generalities.
For example, the wording here is kind of ambiguous as to whether or not Thor actually discovers early on that Loki’s been pretending to be their dad:
When we last saw Thor, he was flying off to figure out who was manipulating the Avengers at the end of Age of Ultron. Eventually, he hears rumblings of trouble in Asgard: His evil brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), has been impersonating their missing father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins). Loki’s rather lax governing leads to the reemergence of an imprisoned Hela (Cate Blanchett).
It sounds like Hela gets out due to Loki not really caring if she does, but it doesn’t actually say flat out that Thor’s there because he knows what Loki’s up to. I’d guess that he does, and getting back to Asgard to get Loki out is a motivating factor for him.
Anyway, the description goes on to say that Hela blasts Thor to Sakaar, which is a name that’ll be familiar to comic book fans. This version of the planet is ruled by Jeff Goldblum. (Yes, I know he’s technically the Grandmaster, but are you actually going to see anything but a planet ruled by Jeff Goldblum? I don’t think so.) Anyway, it’s Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) who introduces Thor to the Grandmaster. Per EW:
“Thor is a bit of a fanboy for the Valkyrie, the elite women warriors,” Hemsworth says. Thor is then forced into becoming a gladiator, which leads to his haircut and the loss of his trusty hammer.
And then, yeah, it’s Planet Hulk time, as that’s who is Sakaar’s favorite gladiator. So when Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) took off at then end of Age of Ultron, he somehow ended up on a distant planet fighting in an arena.
And that is the most detail we get. It’s a solid description of what I’m betting is only the first act of the movie. We’re also told that Hulk and Thor’s reunion turns everything into a “sort of road-trip film,” which is probably the second act. I’d also hazard a guess that Earth is probably a brief stop on the “road trip.” That would explain when tag scene from Doctor Strange, where Thor asks the Sorcerer Supreme for help with his brother, takes place.
That leaves the more traditional Ragnarok part—the part that the movie is actually named for—in the third act. Which makes sense, it’s likely to be the big, show-stopping battle, after all.
There’s a lot of talk in this article about how they’re tapping Hemsworth’s comedic skills for this movie, too, which diverts attention away from the obvious question of “Is Thor dying in this movie?” Because that’s the big thing about the Norse Ragnarok myth: Thor dies. This description of the plot is also sidestepping Hela’s evil plan and whatever Loki’s up to. But at least there will be no more rumors of Planet Hulk getting its own movie for a bit... at least until the rumor that there’s a prequel to this film that is even more Planet Hulk gets started.
Here’s the bad news: The Nintendo Switch can only run for about three hours on a charge while playing Zelda. The good news? Nintendo opted to use USB-C for charging, meaning you can use a battery pack to keep it alive during a long flight.
Jackery’s Titan S includes two standard USB ports (one with Quick Charge 2.0), plus a USB-C port that you’ll use both for input and output. Depending on the game you’re playing, it might not actually charge the Switch so much as dramatically slow down its discharge rate, but either way, the result is longer battery life. So hook up a C-to-C cable, recline your seat, and enjoy the trip sans-battery anxiety.
Apple’s AirPods have been out for months now, but they’re still backordered from Apple by a whopping 6 weeks. But if you buy from AT&T right now, they’ll ship out within the next three business days (as of the time of this writing). Needless to say, this probably won’t last long.
It’s not often that Amazon features a laptop as one of its deals of the day, so anyone who uses a desktop at home or work should definitely check out this $280 Lenovo Thinkpad Yoga for their portable computing needs.
Though this laptop runs Windows 10, its price is pretty similar to a lot of Chromebooks, though its 4GB of RAM, 128GB SSD, and quad core Intel processor far exceed what you’d find in most of Google’s alternatives. The real highlight feature though is its IPS touchscreen. Sure, at 11.6", and 1366x768 resolution, this might not be your main computer. But since it’s a Yoga, you can flip it into all sorts of different poses. Need to carry it around? Turn it into a tablet. Finished working on a plane, and just want to watch a movie? Flip it into stand mode to get the keyboard out of the way.
Is it an amazing laptop? No. But it’s a very solid deal at $280. Just note that this price is only available today, and it could very well sell out early.
Right now, you can save $5 on RAVPower’s Filehub, which is actually two travel-friendly devices in one: A 3,000mAh USB battery pack, and a media streamer that can let you access files on USB flash drives and SD cards wirelessly from your phone or tablet. That’s perfect for, say, watching movies on a plane when your tablet is low on space.
We’ve seen plenty of deals on “premium” Google Cardboard-compatible VR headsets, but this is one of the only ones we’ve seen that includes a magnetic button on the side, which means you won’t have to pair an external Bluetooth remote to navigate within VR apps. Seriously, if you haven’t played with Google Cardboard yet, you’ll have so much fun.
Anker’s new PowerDrive 2 Elite can output 12W on both ports simultaneously, and it looks really nice to boot. Use promo code KINJA212 at checkout to save $6.
Aukey’s portable Bluetooth speaker is the smallest I’ve ever seen with dual drivers (even if they are fairly small at 3W each), and you can slip it into your pocket for $14 today with code AUKEYM29.
If you’re still rocking an old 802.11n wireless router at home, you can upgrade to a popular TP-Link Archer C9 for $94 today (with code 20TPLC9), within a few bucks of an all-time low, and the best price of the year. Nearly 6,000 5-star reviews can’t be wrong!
The SoundBuds Slim are, as you might have gleaned from the name, far smaller than the originals. Heck, they look like a small set of wired earbuds; you might never guess there were batteries and Bluetooth radios in there. Despite the size, these buds are still rated for seven hours of battery life, and recharge fully in just 90 minutes.
There was a $6 launch day discount on these a few weeks ago that dropped them to $24, but if you missed out on that sale, they’re slashed to $22 today, no code required.
We love reusable tumblers here, as do all of you. So does Starbucks, and right now they’re marking down select drinkware 30% so you can get your own branded reusable tumbler. Put your Starbucks coffee in some Starbucks mugs and call it a day.
My name is Jillian and I’m a stomach sleeper. Even though for years people have told me how bad it is, it’s just the most comfortable position out there. And Amazon’s Gold Box isn’t judging me, or you if you like to belly flop into bed. Today only, grab individual or sets of goose down pillows for a heck of a lot less of what you’d normally pay.
Rachio brought home sprinkler systems into the smartphone age, and their 8-zone system has its biggest discount ever today on Amazon.
These controllers can automatically adjust watering schedules based on the weather, and if you want to keep tabs on it, its iOS and Android app will show you how much water you’re using (and saving), and allow you to make any adjustments necessary, no matter where you are in the world. They even work with Alexa, so you can water your lawn with nothing but your voice. All of these smarts mean that you can save over 50% on your outdoor water use, so the Rachio should pay for itself over time. It’s also EPA WaterSense Certified, meaning your local water company might offer you a rebate for purchasing it.
We see deals on WeMo switches and TP-Link Smart Plugs on a pretty regular basis, but this similar product from Koogeek is Apple HomeKit certified, and only $24 today, the best price we’ve seen.
Like those other smart switches, the Koogeek Wi-Fi Smart Plug includes an app for turning your electronics on and off, and putting them on a schedule. The key difference here is that you can also control it with Siri from your phone, or from Control Center in iOS 10. That’s a big deal if you’re an iPhone owner, and with promo code TQHF38XS, you’re not even paying a premium for it.
This desk lamp looks like the Pixar logo if it was designed at IKEA, and you can save $12 with promo code MAR2LAMP. It doesn’t have USB charging ports, multiple color temperatures, or even a built-in bulb, but if you like the style, this is a solid price.
Strip lights can add dramatic accents to the undersides of cabinets and furniture, and this 16' strip from OxyLED can also glow in 20 different colors to fit your mood or decor, all for just $15.
If 16' is too long, you can cut this strip after every third light without damaging it, and if it isn’t long enough, you can even daisy chain multiple strips together with these inexpensive connectors.
If you’re leaving your car untouched for a significant period of time, or just want to top-up your battery as it ages, this RAVPower maintainer can trickle charge it back to health. And for smaller batteries like you’d find in a lawnmower or motorcycle, it’s capable of fully recharging them.
The Chemical Guys Bear Claw wash pad looks like something you’d pull off a thorny bush at a sheep farm, but I use it every time I wash my car, and it’s fantastic. $8 is the best price Amazon’s ever listed, and if you usually take your car through a drive-through wash, it’ll pay for itself.
The Lumos E1 is essentially the platonic ideal of the typical tabletop LED desk lamp. You get five different color temperatures (which can actually improve your productivity), six dimming levels, and even two USB charging ports to power your gadgets. Just use code J2I5MZ4H at checkout to save $9.
Update: The E1 is sold out
If that’s not quite what you’re looking for, the Lumos E2 is a completely different animal. Rather than sitting on top of your desk, it clamps to the back, and includes a rotating base, a double-hinged arm, and a swiveling head for maximum adjustability. Unfortunately, there are no USB ports here, but you do still get four different color temperatures. Promo code OXQ486R7 will knock off $15 at checkout, while supplies last.
Still haven’t made the transition to LED? Amazon will sell you a 6-pack of highly rated TaoTronics soft white bulbs for just $12 right now with promo code ZTF822WF. These put out the brightness equivalent of a 60W incandescent, but with only 9W of electricity each. Plus, many local utility companies offer rebates when you buy these things, so they should pay for themselves in short order.
Note: These bulbs aren’t dimmable, which isn’t surprising at this price, but just make sure you’re aware.
There are few things more irritating than noticing your tires are low on air, and then having to find a bunch of quarters, driving to the gas station, and cursing the heavens when the compressor shuts off before you’ve finished filling all four.
Instead, just buy this tiny $30 compressor, and fill up your own tires from anywhere. You can thank me later.
Cooking eggs isn’t exactly rocket science, but I’d say the ability to make soft, medium, and hard boiled eggs, plus omlettes and poached eggs at the touch of a button is worth $16. The Dash Go is Amazon’s top-selling egg cooker, and carries a truly stellar 4.6 star review average from nearly 3,000 customers, so get it while it’s on sale.
Go to your nearest home goods store, and you’ll find dozens of airtight containers to keep food and coffee fresh. But the Friis coffe vault takes things one step further with a valve and filter that lets your roast beans vent off CO2 without opening the lid, which keeps them fresher for longer.
Miniature LED flashlights are so cheap and ubiquitous now, there’s no excuse not to have one tucked away in every glove box and every room of your house. Get four zoomable lights from OxyLED for just $14 today.
This neck massager may look like a torture device, but trust me when I say it’s the opposite. The weird arm things help you regular the pressure of the massager and it also heats up. Hell, it even comes with a car charger to use it during your commute. It’s like the best straight jacket you’ve ever worn.
It may be basically Spring already, but that doesn’t mean you should pass up a good outerwear deal. Nordstrom Rack is marking down a bunch of The North Face jackets and coats for 30-40% off. Pick up a great coat and save it for next winter. Men’s, women’s and kids’ styles are all marked down.
25% off when you spent $25 or more on fashion and beauty from eBay with code C20HELLOSPRING
iTunes gift card discounts are noticeably less common than they used to be, and while we do see 20% discounts from time to time, a $50 iTunes gift card for $42.50 is still a solid deal if you pay for apps, movies, Apple Music, or iCloud storage.
Earlier Civilization games feature prominently in just about every PC gaming sale under the sun, but the price tag for Civ VI has been remarkably stubborn. Today though, Amazon’s taking $12 off the base game (unlocks via Steam), or $20 off the Digital Deluxe version, which includes a soundtrack and four post-release DLC packs. Hint: Get that one.
Pandemic Legacy is a co-op board game that raises the stakes by adding permanent (like, actually permanent) changes to the board as you play, and it’s amazing. It also happens to be marked down to $39 on Amazon today, matching the best price we’ve ever seen.
The newest Humble Bundle features seven (soon to be eight) popular Steam titles, all for $10 or less. The only game in the top tier is Verdun, and further down the line, you can find gems like Jotun and Journey Down, just for starters. As always, you can name your own price, and a portion of proceeds go to the charity of your choice.
When Sony rolled out the new PS4 Slim and PS4 Pro, they also quietly tweaked the DualShock 4 controller, and here’s another chance to get it for $40, with no sales tax for most buyers.
This is basically the same gamepad you know and love, but with a futuristic looking light bar at the top of the touchpad, and the ability to communicate over USB when plugged into your console for lag-free input.
Riverdale is my newest obsession. It is a show that revels in being campy, overly melodramatic, and absolutely bonkers. There have been plotlines and reveals so insane that I’m still trying to process them, weeks later. If you haven’t been watching, please enjoy a rundown of the best weird (or weirdest best) moments and storylines the show has offered so far.
1) Archie’s Affair With Ms. Grundy
Riverdale burned through this plot much, much faster than I expected, given how much time it got in the previews. So, the deal was that Ms. Grundy, who in the comics was an extremely old lady, was now, in the TV show, a hot, young music teacher who happened across a sweaty, shirtless Archie walking home one summer. She both encouraged her student’s love of music and, you know, had sex with him, which was absolutely a crime. (I swear, shows need to stop romanticizing this kind of thing.)
And I really, really thought the show was going to keep this scandalous relationship as a major plot for the entire season, but NOPE. Betty and Veronica found about it in episode four, at which point they also break into Ms. Grundy’s car and discover that Ms. Grundy is not actually Ms. Grundy at all—she stole that identity from an old lady—and also carries a gun.
From there, it was a short step to Betty’s awful mom discovering Archie’s secret and telling Archie’s dad and confronting the faux Grundy herself—not to stop the teacher’s sexual abuse of her student, but mainly in an attempt to make Archie look bad in front of her daughter. Ms. Grundy decides her best course of action is to leave Riverdale immediately, at which point literally everyone seems to have forgotten this was a thing.
2) Jughead’s Doomed Family
Whatever Jughead’s family was in the comics, ignore it. Because in the reality of Riverdale, Jughead’s family is ridiculous. His mother is nowhere to be found. We see a picture of his sister, but we haven’t actually seen her yet, but there’s an ominous sense about her (yes, there’s an ominous sense about everyone in Riverdale, but whatever). His father was fired by Archie’s dad for stealing from his construction company. So, naturally, he turned to a life of crime and, as a 45-year-old, appears to have joined Rivedale’s gang of bikers and street toughs. Oh, and Jughead’s father is played by Skeet Ulrich.
Also, Jughead is homeless and I don’t know if anyone actually knows that other than his dad, who doesn’t actually care.
3) The Blossoms and the Coopers Hate Each Other So, So Much
One of the great joys of Riverdale is watching people keep a straight face while having very serious conversations about maple syrup. Yes, maple syrup is the industry that built Riverdale, and that makes every, single, reference to the old families of Riverdale and their piles of money hilarious—the two main ones being the Coopers, Betty’s family, and the Blossoms, who have managed the impressive feat of having the most screwed up kid in Riverdale in Cheryl Blossom (even before her twin brother Jason was murdered, which kicked the show off).
The reason the Coopers and the Blossoms hate each other is just the best: Cheryl’s great-grandfather killed Betty’s great grandfather so he could get all the maple syrup profits. So now there’s, like, a blood feud between the families, that Betty somehow is only just now begun learning about.
4) Why Polly Cooper Is “Sick”
When Riverdale begins, Betty’s older sister Polly has been gone for months, seemingly sent away to some sort of sanitarium after a breakdown that Betty’s parents clearly blame Jason Blossom for. As the season has gone on, everyone sort of suspected that the actual reason that the Coopers sent Polly away was because she was pregnant. Two weeks ago, it became really obvious when her dad said that Polly was “sick” and would be staying away until she wasn’t “sick anymore.”
Last week’s episode confirmed it and added that on the day Jason disappeared, Polly had planned to run away with him. Instead, the Coopers discovered what she was up to and sent her to “Quiet Mercy,” a troubled teens home that sounds like it would be the ideal setting for a season of American Horror Story. However, when Betty finally finds her at the home, she’s forced to tell Polly the news that Jason is dead, at which point Polly loses it, later escaping from the home that night. So while Polly is definitely pregnant, that doesn’t mean for certain that she’s entirely sane.
Oh, and Jughead and Betty found the car Jason was going to use to escape with Polly and it is full of drugs. When they try to show it to law enforcement, it explodes because the teenagers are being followed.
5) Someone Sent Hermione Lodge a Snake in a Box
Veronica’s mom Hermione is in some sort of real estate scheme where she bribes the mayor to purchase some key Riverdale land on the secret behalf of her husband Hiram, currently in jail for many, many shady financial dealings. He obviously didn’t learn anything, because he has Hermione pay Riverdale’s local gang, the Southside Serpents, to make trouble in the area to drive down the price. Apparently the Serpents want a bit more money for their troubles, because one day at work (as a waitress in Pop’s Diner, of course), Hermione receives this:
How did someone put this in the middle of her workplace, with her there, without her noticing? (Image: CW)
Also, the land that the Lodges buy includes the local drive-in, where Jughead was literally living. So Jughead’s dad helped kick him out of his non-home for cash.
6) All the Parents Have Pasts Together
Beyond the Coopers and the Blossoms having a blood feud, Hermione Lodge and Archie’s dad Fred Andrews shared a romantic past when they were younger. That won’t make anything weird for their kids, I’m sure. And we already know that Archie’s mom—who left Riverdale years ago to “follow her dreams”—has been cast and will be showing up at some point, so I’m certain that she has even more connections to the various awful parents of Riverdale, and that will explode all over the place.
7) Everything About Cheryl Blossom
Cheryl gets an entry to herself. From wearing matching white outfits when she and her brother went out on the water to wearing this to sleep in her dead brother’s bed, she’s just bananas:
Look, I’m not saying she was fucking her brother. But she was absolutely fucking her brother.
Cheryl also showed up to her brother’s memorial service wearing all-white. In the pilot, she memorialized her brother by introducing the song they were conceived to. She speaks in hashtags. She just... decides to join Veronica and Kevin at the drive-in movie, jumping into their car with no explanation, despite heaping scorn on them on countless previous occasions. Everything about Cheryl is completely ridiculous and I kind of love her.
Every episode of Riverdale gets progressively weirder and more fun in its weirdness. Everyone should start watching it now before everything gets so convoluted that it’ll be impenetrable. Do it, or I’ll somehow put a snake in a cardboard box in the middle of your workplace without you noticing.
Comic artist Mark Simpson, known by his pen name, Jock, shared the results of a recent Google search to check how his famous Joker print was being used. Turns out it’s now available for any woman to lovingly adorn her private parts in bats and teeth.
That’s right, on Geek Skin, there’s a pair of face-hugging Joker Panties. Where do I even begin with this? First off, it’s most likely not even official. The “Joker: Black Mirror” was a cover for Detective Comics #880, commissioned by DC Comics in 2011. However, the Spain-based company says it’s a pair of underwear inspired by Deadpool that’s “printed with original designs” and “AVAILABLE IN PRE-ORDER aT SPECIAL PRICE.” Something seems a little off with, like, all of that. We reached out to Geek Skin for comment, but haven’t received a response yet.
More importantly,though, it’s the Joker’s face on your crotch. Like, right there. In the heart of the battlefield. I can’t think of anything less sexy or appealing than having Joker’s chompy, red-stained teeth inches away from my no-no zone. And don’t even bother starting with that “Harley would wear it” bullshit. Suicide Squad’s version might have considered it, for like five seconds, but today’s Harley wouldn’t be caught dead near that beaver deathtrap. She goes commando.
However, there is one bonus feature: Any womenfolk who give their lady bushes room to roam and have a bit of green hair dye can give him an extended haircut. You’re welcome!
There is a (sort of) male version, but instead of Joker’s blood-soaked grin staring you in the face, it’s his famous Dark Knight quote “Why So Serious?” So, I have permission to laugh at that guy’s dick, then? Okay, good to know.
Every family reunion is full of awkward discussions, especially if your reunion consists of your twin sister, who you kissed on more than one occasion, and your dad, who cut off your hand. Unless you have a killer potato salad recipe, this amazing custom cornhole game is your best bet for having a good time.
Built by the folks at Hyperdyne Labs (who are better known for their custom lightsabers), this version of cornhole recreates the classic Death Star trench run scene from the original Star Wars by having players try to throw beanbags in its thermal exhaust port. A direct hit is rewarded with flashing lights, sound effects, and lines taken from the actual movie.
Don’t bother reaching for your wallet, though, because this is a one-off creation that Hyperdyne Labs won’t be selling. As incredibly detailed and elaborate as the game is, there are clearly some copyright issues that would need to be worked out with Disney and Lucasfilm before its creators could start producing and selling these en masse.
Concept art from a ride in Pandora: World of Avatar. Image: Disney
The creator of Avatar, James Cameron, just blew the ending of his potential five film movie universe. And he did it with a theme park. Stay with us here, cause it’s a little weird.
James Cameron is currently working on four Avatar sequels, parts two through five. He’s also about to team with Disney to open Pandora: The World of Avatar, a theme park experience at Disney’s Animal Kingdom in Orlando, FL. In an interview conducted inside the park, Cameron said that the park is set in a timeline after the five movies. A time when the war between humans and Na’vi is over. A time when the Na’vi have begun to welcome humans onto their planet with opens arms.
Jeez, James, thanks for the spoilers. The Na’vi win? Pandora isn’t destroyed?
Cameron says this in the below video of him touring the park with Whoopi Goldberg on The View. That, as well as the second video from Good Morning America below it, are the best looks yet at the newest jewel in the Disney theme park crown.
And here’s the GMA segment
While I’m not a fan of the bubbly, surface exploration of these parks provided by morning television, it does look like Disney’s Imagineers have pulled together something truly unique with Pandora. Now, as long as Cameron can get his movies out in time, people see them, and people like them, they’ll be all set.
At the very least, we now know how it all ends.
Pandora: The World of Avatar opens at Animal Kingdom on May 27.
We’ve suddenly gone from not all that many X-Men books being out there to all the X-Men books being out there, with the advent of the still-awfully-punned “ResurrXion”—but here’s one more to add to the sudden pile of mutant mania.
The new series, written by Charles Soule, will bring together an oddball team of Mutant characters—Old Man Logan, Rogue, Gambit, Mystique, Bishop, Fantomex, Psylocke, and Archangel—to fight a mysteriously “reborn, renewed, resurrected” X-Men villain currently under wraps.
Whatever it ends up being, Marvel is suddenly pushing Astonishing X-Men as one of its most important new X-books—even beyond its new “main” twin series, X-Men: Blue and X-Men: Gold—promising, well... pretty much everything they can, judging by the ecstatic words of Marvel EIC Axel Alonso:
If you’re going to relaunch a book called Astonishing X-Men, it had better live up to the title. Charles and his soon-to-be-revealed collaborators are about to unveil a story that touches every corner of the X-Men mythology, and the first issue alone will have massive ramifications for the Children of the Atom. We can’t wait to tell you more about this book.
Alonso’s right in a way—the Astonishing name has a very particular legacy to it, having been used for two miniseries in the late ’90s, before titling the ongoing X-Men series first written by Joss Whedon (and later penned by the likes of Warren Ellis, Marjorie Liu, Daniel Way, and Christos Gage) between 2004 and 2013. Between that and the big promises of even more huge consequences for Mutantkind (haven’t they been through enough lately?), the new Astonishing X-Men has a lot to live up to already ahead of its launch in July.
Logan breaks new ground for comic-book movies, but it has plenty of company in the world of film and other media—works that share its grim and weary worldview, as well its themes of aging ungracefully, unconventional families, and anti-heroism. Want to keep the Logan bummer alive? Check out this list.
Just in case you haven’t seen Logan yet...
1) Children of Men
The parallels here are obvious. Alfonso Cuarón’s dystopian tale takes place in 2027, two years prior to Logan. Both films imagine a time in which babies are no longer born. In Logan’s case, of course, it’s specifically mutant babies, but the threat of extinction still feels the same. The grizzled protagonists also share some key traits; Clive Owen’s burned-out bureaucrat has a haunted look that Logan would recognize. Both men take on the role of protector for the young women who are thrust into their care—but only for cash, at first. Ultimately, they both end up dying for the cause.
2) Shane
Another obvious choice, because it’s the film that Laura and Charles watch in their casino hotel room, and the source of the eulogy that Laura tearfully delivers over Logan’s grave. The choice of a classic 1950s Western—in which Alan Ladd’s gunslinger comes to the aid of a frontier town besieged by a cattle baron’s brute squad—is obviously meant to underline Logan’s own Wild West leanings. There’s also the not-insignificant plot point of Shane befriending a small boy in the town, who learns the same lesson that Laura takes to heart for slightly more personal reasons: “There’s no living with a killing. There’s no going back from one. Right or wrong, it’s a brand. A brand sticks.”
3) The Road
Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel The Road has the edge over John Hillcoat’s film adaptation, but both works contain plot points that Logan fans will recognize: a desperate father and his kid travel a beat-up future land where dangerous people hellbent on tearing them apart lurk around every corner. Also, McCarthy has said that he was inspired to write The Road after a visit with his young son to El Paso, Texas—the very place where we find the erstwhile Wolverine slumming as a chauffeur at the beginning of Logan.
4) No Country for Old Men
Another McCarthy novel that became a film, No Country for Old Men is less overtly like Logan. But it has that same Western noir vibe and is largely set in the kind of place where, say, a trio of mutants could take over an abandoned piece of property with an overturned water tower and hardly anyone would notice. Also, it has a key scene set in El Paso, Texas.
5) and 6) High Plains Drifter and Unforgiven
You can’t talk about Westerns that feature mysterious, angry men without bringing up Clint Eastwood, who stars in and directed both of these films. Both works deal heavily in revenge, beatings, and gunplay; in 1973's High Plains Drifter, Eastwood’s never-named character is heavily suggested to be a man whose need for vengeance has brought him back from the dead. Unforgiven, made nearly 20 years later, is about a former Wild West outlaw who is lured out of retirement by a lucrative bounty-hunting gig, though his return to his old ways proves a weighty burden. Drifter is spooky while Unforgiven is just very dark, but both echo Logan’s investigation of a man who is irrevocably tethered to his violent past.
7) and 8) True Grit (1969) and True Grit(2010)
The crusty old dude/spunky young lady dynamic in the True Grit films mirrors the relationship between Logan and Laura in certain aspects. U.S. Marshal Rooster Cogburn (John Wayne, and Jeff Bridges in the remake) is only after the monetary reward when he agrees to help teenager Mattie (Kim Darby, Hailee Steinfeld in the remake) to find the man who murdered her father. But the job eventually turns personal, in large part because Cogburn begins to respect the tough girl who insists on riding along, and shows herself to be surprisingly capable of holding her own.
9) The Wrestler
Darren Aronofsky’s heartbreaking tale of a washed-up pro wrestler determined to make one last comeback, no matter the cost, is a film that Logan star Hugh Jackman and director James Mangold discussed in early talks about what tone their film would take. And the comparisons are there: Mickey Rourke’s title character has an aging strongman’s body that’s failing after decades of pain and self-medication; he’s also got a boatload of pent-up mental anguish over his damaged relationship with his daughter. At least Logan gives you a smidgen of redemption at the end—The Wrestler offers no such catharsis.
10) Léon: The Professional
The ultimate “little girl who’s also a lethal assassin” movie, Luc Besson’s 1994 action thriller also has a Logan-esque character in Jean Reno’s solitary hitman, who reluctantly agrees to help his neighbor (Natalie Portman in her film debut) after a crooked DEA agent (Gary Oldman) slaughters her family. When she made Léon, Portman was only slightly older than Dafne Keen, who makes a similarly auspicious impression (and collects a higher body count) in her own first feature.
11) Lone Wolf and Cub
The classic, epic manga about a sword-swinging father-and-son (really, father-and-baby) assassin team roaming for hire (and revenge) in Japan’s Edo period inspired several films and a TV series. Logan’s awesome tandem action scenes call to mind the delightfully gory fights in Lone Wolf and Cub, in which many an interloper learned the fatal mistake of getting to close to the baby cart.
12) The Walking Dead: Season One
Not the TV series—the interactive survival title from Telltale Games, which is also based on Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead comic series, but follows different characters and adventures. Protagonist Lee Everett, a college professor who also happens to be a convicted killer, forges a bond with an eight-year-old girl named Clementine as they scrounge their way through the zombie apocalypse. At the beginning Clementine is naive and needs lots of protection, not unlike Laura, who has spent her entire life inside a laboratory and doesn’t know how to interact with the outside world. But like Logan, Lee (whose choices are guided by you, the player) becomes a parental figure—and, perhaps more importantly, someone who gives her the guidance she’ll need to survive in the world once he’s no longer around to help her.
13) “Death of Wolverine”
Sure, Old Man Logan was the comics title most-often referenced in the run-up to Logan’s release. And Hugh Jackman’s Logan is definitely a much older version of himself than we’re used to seeing. But the “Death of Wolverine” storyline has maybe even more resonance with the film, as it details the character’s waning health as he loses his ability to instantly heal himself. As we see in Logan, the loss of that superpower is both physically and mentally draining, and it ultimately leads to his death onscreen, too.
14) Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” video
So much of Logan’s somber, largely monochromatic marketing referenced Johnny Cash, specifically his late-in-life American Recordings releases. “Hurt,” an exceptionally mournful and lyrically appropriate Nine Inch Nails cover, appeared in one of the trailers. For the full experience, pop on Cash’s very last album in the series, released a year before he died—American IV: The Man Comes Around, whose title song appears under Logan’s end credits—and just let the whole thing wash over you.
Thanks to the io9 staff for their contributions to this list.
When I started telling my daughter about various superheroes, I thought for sure that the Flash or Batgirl was going to be her favorite. But super-speed and total recall can’t stand up to gamma-powered grumpiness: the Hulk has her heart.
At six years old, my girl child is still in the age range where she can’t keep still. That’s why I thought the Flash would become her favorite superhero. When she asked me to talk about superheroes who weren’t very patient, I told her how the Flash’s powers make it hard for him to wait for anything. She chuckled at the idea of Flash being unable to do a stakeout with Batman because he’d be so antsy. She’s becoming quite an avid reader, too, and it seemed like Barbara Gordon’s past as a librarian would endear Batgirl to her. She loves the idea that Batgirl never forgets anything that she sees, reads, or learns, even after I explained the downsides. For her, Batgirl’s photographic memory makes the heroine was “smarter than Batman.” So what made her go all in on the Hulk?
The versions of long-running characters that I tell my kid about are amalgamations of the iterations I grew up on. Last night, the conversation turned to super-pets and I told her about Krypto, Streaky, and Comet. When I’m talking about Superman or Supergirl in those moments, it’s the Curt Swan/Murphy Anderson drawings that float in my head. For the Hulk, the mental visuals are delineated in Herb Trimpe’s melodramatic linework and the tone I call on is the one set up by the 1970s/1980s stories I read. In those works, the Hulk is essentially an impossibly strong temperamental toddler. He’s got poor emotional control, limited intellectual capacity and a good but extremely gullible heart.
My daughter’s appreciation started with my Hulk voice, through which I channeled all that lovable gamma crankiness. When I first growled out my version of the Jade Giant’s garbled syntax, she giggled immediately. She instantly understood that overheated emotions trigger the change that turns Bruce Banner into the Hulk, ”like when people get so frustrated and they yell and push other people” in her words. But it took her a while to come to grips with the idea that the Hulk didn’t also know he was Bruce Banner. The first time she requested the character specifically, it was by asking “Can you tell me about the strong guy with the baby-talk voice?” As I told her more stories about the Hulk, it was clear that she enjoyed how easily flummoxed and annoyed the character would get by simple, everyday activities.
I have a restlessly curious child who also demonstrates an extroversion that strobes sudden and bright depending on her mood. She’ll listen in on strangers’ interactions and blurt out interjections about how she too got burned one time when she was helping her daddy make pasta. Sometimes I chide her about over-sharing or being a buttinsky but mostly I let her be a free spirit. After I caught my breath after spooling off a ripping yarn about the Hulk going apple-picking with Rick Jones, I spied her smiling to herself. When I asked what was tickling her brain, she said “I’m thinking about the Hulk’s farts.” I’d told her the origin of the Silver Surfer that same night and we debated whose flatulence would be more loud and/or pungent. (I kinda think that Galactus’ former herald wouldn’t break wind at all, since his cosmically powered body no longer needs to ingest solid matter.)
Never knew about this until I googled “Hulk farts” for image inspiration.
One thing I’m learning about my kid is that she’s hungry for story. She pretty much asks me to be a story machine that explains the world to her over and over. I try my best to always make time for her questions, daydreams, and non-sequiturs because I remember being waved off by a harried, often intemperate single mom. On a recent rainy day, she asked for more Hulk. Rather than just keep on improvising new adventures for her on the spot, I took the opportunity to have her help make one up.
A quick template of storytelling questions came to mind and we went to work.
This wasn’t going to be a traditional multi-panel affair. I just wanted to see what she’d come up with.
Part of her enjoyment of the Hulk comes from feeling smarter than him and seeing the character as an outlet for outlandish behavior she could never get away with. Most of the prompts that she comes up with have to do with juxtaposing the extraordinary and the quotidian, like “What if the Human Torch tried ice-skating? What if your tongue was a fruit roll-up and you could have a treat whenever you wanted by biting it?” I loved writer Greg Pak’s recent spotlight on Bruce Banner and his constant need to tamp down his emotions.
But I think my daughter’s love for the Hulk doesn’t just come from the fact that he’s a dumb gigantic, super-strong galoot. My daughter is hooked on him because of the truth about the character that’s at the opposite end of the notional spectrum. My kid’s affection for the Hulk comes from the idea that he can be a vessel for her id. She doesn’t care so much about the Hulk smashing everything in sight. She just wants to hear about what it’d be like if he did normal things. Like farting.
Since it launched in 1997, NASA’s Cassini spacecraft has been giving us unprecedented views of Saturn and its (many) moons. But this week, the intrepid orbiter outdid itself by capturing some adorable images of Saturn’s tiny moon, Pan. In Greek mythology, Pan was the god of shepherds, which is appropriate considering the clingy world acts as a “shepherd moon” of Saturn, clearing out the 200 mile-wide Encke Gap within the gas giant’s A Ring.
But to be fair, Pan was a pantsless, flute-playing fawn man who was nowhere near as cute as this tiny space pierogi. I mean, there’s no way this scrumptious little morsel is a moon—it’s a dumpling, right? I could be persuaded into accepting it as a ravioli, but that’s about as extreme as I’m willing to get.
Just look at it.
Image: NASA/JPL-Caltech/Space Science Institute
According to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, these images were taken during one of Cassini’s recent ring grazing orbits, when the spacecraft’s camera was pointing toward Pan. They were taken on March 7th, using the camera’s CL1 and GRN filters, but have not been altered in any way.
So the obvious question here is what’s going on with Pan’s shape, assuming this is not some weird image artifact? According to Cassini imaging lead Carolyn Porco, the little moon has a bulging equatorial ridge that was likely caused by ring material accreted onto Pan after its formation. Another of Saturn’s moons, named Atlas, exhibits a similar equatorial bulge.
We’ll miss Cassini and all of its ravioli photos when it finally takes a nose dive into Saturn’s atmosphere this September. Until then, we can expect many more stunning photos of this weird world and its most scrumptious moons.
We’ve known for a long while that the seemingly penultimate season of Game of Thrones wouldn’t be coming in the show’s usual spring slot on HBO—but today, the company finally confirmed just when we’ll be going back to Westeros: July 16. But bloody hell, did we have to go through a mess to know it.
The date means fans are going to have to wait a little longer than usual to see what’s in store for Cersei, Jon, Dany, and everyone else, although we’ve already heard a lot of teases about what’s to come over the past few months. The wait however, won’t be anywhere near as interminable as the way HBO actually let fans learn about it, however.
You see, this reveal was preceded by a much-hyped, frankly disastrous Facebook Live event—in which over 130,000 increasingly annoyed Game of Thrones fans watched a giant block of ice melt to reveal the release date, repeatedly typing the word “fire” into the comments to make it melt faster courtesy of a nearby flamethrower. Except, the stream abruptly ended before the date could be revealed, leaving fans out of the loop as to what the hell was actually going on.
When it returned, the ice block was now flanked by two different flamethrowers—only to end abruptly a second time and come back with the flamethrowers on full blast. Presumably because HBO realized that even Game of Thrones fans weren’t desperate to pretty much watch the equivalent of paint drying for this long just to learn a release date, and decided to end this nightmare quicker. Here’s the teaser that played when it was finally over:
There’s no new footage, but there is some new dialogue, after flashbacks throughout the past six seasons of show—most intriguingly, it’s Jon Snow saying “There is only war that matters: the Great War, and it is here.” Which is pretty gosh darn ominous.
Even then, it still took 70 minutes to get there. But at least now we know when Game of Thrones is back. And that I also know I never want to watch ice melt as a social activity ever, ever again.
Greeting my little stamp... sidekicks... no, soul mates—wait, that’s way too personal... my little, uh.. envelope envoys? Uh, sure. this week: The most consistent fictional universe of all time! A classic fantasy series that may actually get made as a movie! And the worst decision The Walking Dead could make! Let’s stamp some... uh.. let’s just read some letters.
Last X-it
Becca:
I really like Logan but I’m confused. The movie is definitely the end of Wolverine and Hugh Jackman has said he’s done, probably. There’s all this talk of Laura/X-23 taking over as Wolverine, which I’d be fine with because she’s awesome.
But Logan takes place in 2029 and the other X-Men movies are in the past. Is Laura going to time travel back to the First Class timeline? Are new Wolverine movies still going to be set in the future?
Becca, this is an excellent question that I regret to inform you even the Postman cannot answer with any degree of certainty. You are asking me to divine the intentions of lunatics, lunatics in charge of a major superhero movie franchise. I cannot predict the actions of crazy people.
With the exception of one more group X-Men movie set in the ’90s, there is no possible future for the X-Men movie–verse that makes even the tiniest bit of sense other than a full reboot. As awesome as a movie starring Dafne Keen as the new Wolverine sounds, a sequel in the bleak, mainly mutant-less future of Logan does not seem ripe with storytelling possibilities. An X-Men movie set after the ’90s—when the original X-Men movie franchise began—seems incredibly dicey and that’s before you remember that Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Nightcrawler would suddenly be in their 30s and the original First Class group in, like, their 70s. However, a full reboot also sounds kind of shitty because I thought the new kids in Apocalypse were excellent, especially Sophie Turner as Jean Grey, and of course Keen as Laura was phenomenal.
X-producer Simon Kinberg swears he has “a plan for how these movies can connect and be a part of a larger narrative” but other than ignoring the half of the franchise stuck in the past and the other half stuck in the future and just making New Mutants and X-Force films more or less unconnected to anything other than Deadpool, I can’t imagine what that might bve.
I suppose there could be some kind of crazy time-travel universe-merging madness that somehow brought the good characters together, put them all the in the present, and replaced the rest, but as authentically X-Men-y a solution as that sounds, I have a hard time believing mass audiences will find that at all satisfying.
Fox has backed itself into a very tight corner, and the least worst solution sounds like starting over from scratch—but just because it’s the solution that makes the most sense does not mean at all that it’s the one they’ll choose. So… I have no idea. Sorry. I, as a fake mailman from the future, have failed you. But if nothing else I desperately hope we get to see Laura Kinney on-screen again.
Sharing Is Erring
Scott K.:
Dear Postman,
Somewhat as a follow-up to one of last weeks questions, but what is the real reason behind the character restrictions on the CW shows? Does Warner Brothers really think that if some of these restricted characters show up for a couple of episodes, or are mentioned as existing off-screen, that it will somehow decrease the likelihood of people coming out to see the movies?
I can sort of see the argument of confusing people if the character in question had his/hers own series, like the Flash, but I still think if the movies are actually good, the people will come. I think they should use the DC multiverse to their advantage, and not restrict it. It seems pretty petty at this point not even let the word Batman be mentioned on Supergirl or Arrow when they clearly have hinted at his existence.
I am a huge DC fan, but I have had it with the DCEU movie universe already, so I really want all of DC’s characters existing on at least one Earth in the Arrowverse multiverse.
Sorry to disappoint in a different way, but it’s nothing more interesting than brand protection. Batman is one of their top characters/movie properties, and thus it always makes them (or always has the potential to make them) hundreds of millions of dollars. They don’t want to do anything that could negatively affect those ticket sales, such as 1) putting Batman on TV in a bad way that makes people less interested in seeing a Batman movie, or 2) putting Batman on TV in a good way that makes people less interested in seeing a Batman movie, because they’re content with the TV show.
To be fair, WB has clearly loosened up. Whatever you think of it, Gotham exists, although mainly because like Smallville it will never feature Bruce Wayne in a bat-costume until the final episode’s final minute. Superman appeared on Supergirl, albeit for just a couple of episodes. WB didn’t decide to yank The Flash TV series off the air when it decided to make a Flash movie, although it helped that The Flash was already airing and successful (and it’s a good thing they didn’t pull it, since the movie cannot keep a director).
You’re right that people would happily watch both a Batman TV series and a Batman movie assuming both were good, but that’s why you’re a smart person and not a cocaine-filled Hollywood executive. But Batman movies are as close to a sure thing as blockbusters get, and WB is very, very worried about doing something that could possibly affect those ticket sales in a bad way.
Even Universe
Matthew C.:
Greetings Postman of our impending future! I hope that the radiation levels are low and that the zombie bears are still hibernating.
My question to you has to do with fictional universes and the inherent problems that they face. A large shared universe can be a lot of fun. They have depth, complexity, and lots of characters to love or love to hate. But, as a fictional universe grows, so does the difficulty in keeping it fresh and appealing while maintaining its continuity. Invariably, the creative teams paint themselves into a corner and end up making choices that cause their worlds to jump up their own ass. For example: Retconning characters and past events so that they jive with new plot lines. Or when a major character dies only to be resurrected years (or even months) later. Or finding out that those out of character and dastardly things a hero committed wasn’t actually his/her fault because they were possessed/clone/doppelganger/android. And let’s not forget, just wiping the slate clean and rebooting said universe.
As nearly as I can tell, just about everybody (Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Star Trek, etc. . .) has committed these sins and others to varying degrees of severity. So my question is this. . . Which fictional universe has, despite its size, managed to maintain the most coherent continuity? Who’s been the best at keeping their shit together?
This is a great question, but incredibly tough. I mean, “coherency” is in the eye of the beholder, so to speak, so some people may find The Next Generation to be the perfect epitome of Star Trek, but some might feel it diverges a bit too far from what they loved about the original series, thus blemishing the franchise as whole. That’s probably not a very common example, but you get what I mean.
There’s also the degree of difficulty. The longer a universe is around the more time there is for things to be forgotten, ignored, contradicted, or needing an update; the more creators involved means more different viewpoints, favorites, goals, stories, etc. Think how many dozens of writers have just been involved in Captain America since he dethawed in 1963. Even if they all had the chance to have one big meeting before starting the first Captain America comic, how much story do you think they would all unanimously agree on? Not much.
So for my money the only way to get a truly consistent universe is to have as few creators involved as possible, preferably one—one person with one story in mind, one goal. But even then, he or she needs to set down one set of parameters before he or she starts, and then mercilessly, efficiently carry them out, because otherwise even a single creator can get off track. For instance, think about J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter. If she had known she was going make Horcruxes a thing back when she wrote Sorcerer’s Stone, she would have mentioned them, laying the seeds for their eventual reveal—and Deathly Hallows would have been a lot, lot better for it.
I’m not going to pretend I have a comprehensive knowledge of all single creator-helmed franchises in all media, but I can tell you a universe that instantly came to my mind when I read this question: One Piece. The manga has been written and drawn by one man, Eiichiro Oda (with assistants) for 20 full years. It totals well over 8,000 pages at this point, and is not even two-thirds finished. It is consistent in a way most American comics fans could only dream of.
I’m a huge fan, but what awes me most about it is that Oda clearly had his entire plan set from the beginning, allowing spaces for additional stories if warranted, and thus almost everything he’s done feels as if it was part of his intention from 1997. He clearly had all 10 major protagonists planned out from the very beginning, because main character Monkey D. Luffy announced he would have a crew of 10 right at the very beginning—even though the 10th crewmate still hasn’t been officially determined. There are major characters that have only been barely introduced that will clearly have major storylines eventually, that the manga will get around to whenever it pleases. There’s a single panel of a certain character in the first year of two who would only become a bigger supporting character 10 full years later—but Oda already knew the minor characters design back in the ’90s, a decade before he for all intents and purposes truly debuted.
How much the creator of One Piece knew before he drew his first page, and how exactly he’s stayed on that path, never fails to impress me. But again, this is my personal candidate, and I know you guys have your own. List ’em in the comments, and make your arguments!
Do You Want to Know a Secret
Josh L.:
Hi Mr Postman,
I have got into reading comics in the past year or so, mostly investing time in the Marvel titles post-Secret Wars. My understanding of said event (without having read it) was that it was a slightly convoluted attempt to de-clutter the multiverse, bring everyone into one main universe, and hopefully making the comics more accessible to new readers. However the current story lines in Jessica Jones and Spider-man (and Spider-Gwen) show that the multiverse still exists and travel between them possible. So my question is: what was the point of Secret Wars?
The same point of any big comic book event: selling a lot of copies. (Guys, I hate to say this, but if you find yourself asking why a company does or doesn’t do something, the answer is “money” at least half of the time.) But also to streamline the Marvel multiverse a bit, bring some of its more popular non-616 characters into the main Marvel universe—especially Miles Morales and Old Man Logan—and also, hopefully, tell a big, fun, epic story that writer Jonathan Hickman had been building up to for quite a while.
It wasn’t ever meant to destroy the multiverse, Crisis on Infinite Earths style, which we know because it ended with the Fantastic Four and Molecule Man literally leaving to go restore the multiverse piece by piece. It’s still there when they want to tell stories that aren’t burdened by the continuity of the main Marvel universe, e.g. Spider-Gwen and Spider-Verse and whatever else suits their fancy.
Pern Notice
Micah R.:
Hi Postman, I’ve never tried this temporal mailbox before, but if Keanu can figure one out, so can I.
I know there have been a number of false starts in getting Anne McCaffrey’s Dragonriders of Pern series adapted to the screen, both movie and TV. But this is a series I have loved for nearly as long as I could read, and I’d love to see it brought to life. What would you say the odds are of me ever seeing the dragons of Pern flying across a screen?
Contrary to my usual answer, which is usually “You will be disappointed forever,” I actually think Pern has a pretty good chance of making it to live-action. I know it’s an older fantasy series at this point, but it has people riding dragons, which in a Game of Thrones world has a certain amount of appeal.
Eventually some Hollywood executive is going to hear the pitch and be excited, especially if some aspiring writer has the brilliant but obvious idea to replace the Thread—the primary monstrous antagonist of the series, a rain of uber-destruction silver worms that are best destroyed by dragon fire before they hit the ground—with more clearly defined monsters made out of worms, which would lead to more visually exciting battles. Think about the possessed boar from the beginning of Princess Mononoke, and you get the idea.
For my money, Hollywood should start with the prequel Dragonsdawn, where it’s revealed that Pern isn’t just a fantasy series, but a scifi series where Earth people have colonized the planet, genetically engineered dragons to fight the Thread, and then eventually forgot their origins. It’s a good mix of science fiction and fantasy, á la Avatar, which I seem to recall being rather popular despite having an infinitely less interesting story.
Punch-Out
Tim E.:
Dear Postman, I hope your future travels in the irradiated wasteland are more Land of Ooo and less The Road.
In light of the recent release of Logan, I wanted to ask something that’s been on my mind since the first X-Men movie. In that film, our first introduction to Logan is him in a cage match getting the crap kicked out of him until he decides to end it and punches his opponent fist to fist, which it strongly implies breaks the other guy’s hand. But... with his adamantium-coated skeleton, wouldn’t punching Wolverine in the face break your hand in the first place?
Logan’s skeleton is still covered in a nice, soft pile of skin and muscle, so it’s not like the dude was punching a full-on steel girder (especially if he was punching Logan in the gut). Also, while Wolverine’s bones are coated in adamantium, his body still moves like a normal body, which is to say if you punch him in the face he’ll stagger back; if you punch him on the side of the head his neck will swing it the opposite way, if you punch him elsewhere he’ll still stagger back. The physics allow people to punch him without breaking their hands—it probably hurts still, but far too many people have punched Wolverine over the years without shattered fists to assume otherwise.
Think about it like hitting a tetherball with a small ball of iron in the middle. It’s heavier and denser than a regular tetherball for sure, and it would absolutely hurt your hand more to punch—but the physics of it would mean you’d push it away from you before your hand shattered.
Last Willpower and Testament
Rafael:
Hi Rob,
I was discussing with a friend about DC comics and who could be the best green lantern from earth. Since the power of the ring depends on the will power of its user my friend said that Hal Jordan by default is the strongest green lantern possible. I think that Batman has more will power because well, he is Batman. Could you please help us to solve this discussion?
Willpower is such a weird, nebulous term that it’s effectively meaningless, especially when used in terms of Green Lanterns. I mean, for god’s sake, remember that all the various Lanterns group’s powers come from emotions, and willpower is not actually an emotion. By any reasonable metric both Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman all have more willpower than Hal Jordan; they have shown themselves to be far more indomitable that Hal or really any of the members of the Green Lantern corps.
But! Let’s not forget—let’s never forget—the entire Green Lantern organization is suspect because it was created by the Guardians, those little blue guys who are some of the most supercilious entities in the DC universe, and outright evil like, half the time. Even if Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman are better choices in terms of willpower, none of them would have ever given a shit about what the Guardians wanted—they would have done what they thought was best. I think the chances are high that the ring’s instructions, when finding a suitable candidate, were for “a being with great willpower but will also do what we say.”
Also, Batman has recovered from a broken back and being stranded in the past from sheer force of willpower; Hal Jordan allowed himself to be possessed by Parallax, a giant evil space Cheeto. You tell me which one has more willpower.
The Crawling Dead
MGM:
Wouldn’t it be amazing if Judith were a realistic toddler in The Walking Dead?
“Judith hurry! There’s a horde coming! Put your shoes on!”
“NO!” *flops down on the ground making that sound toddlers make that isn’t quite crying*
It would, until the show depicted a toddler being graphically torn apart and eaten by zombies.
Please send your queries, mysteries, disputes that need resolving, advice that needs to be given, etc. to postman@io9.com!
The same question keeps coming up every time we hear about James Cameron’s plans for a gazillion Avatar sequels all shot at once, or about some new element in the Pandora theme park being built by Disney. And that question is: are people really pumped for this?
Avatar came out in 2009, which basically feels like a hundred years ago now. I was still in college. Rob Bricken was just embarking on a quest to read the worst erotic fanfiction. James Whitbrook was, I’m pretty sure, just a glint in the eye of a programmer trying to build the perfect blogger robot.
It feels, to us at least, that Avatar came and went. The 3D was a big deal, the movie itself generated some interesting articles, and then everyone just... moved on. Avatar wasn’t the kind of hit seemed to inspire a passionate following. We don’t see blue Pandorans cosplay flooding comic-cons. Hell, there’s another thing named Avatar that we see a lot more of.
So while we wouldn’t bet against Avatars 2-5, the question we have isn’t “will you see it?” but “how excited are you really?” Are you dying for more stories? Or just curious to know if, by the time we see it, Cameron will literally have created the technology to punch you in the face during the film? Or, like most of us, does every bit of news make you go, “Oh, right, they’re still doing that?”
After months of speculation about the X-Force mercenary’s role in Deadpool 2, we’ve got confirmation of just who will end up bringing Neena Thurman to life in the movie: Atlanta’s Zazie Beetz. And, being Deadpool related, we learned about it in the weirdest way.
In fact, we learned about it really in the only way we ever can learned about Deadpool news: through a silly Ryan Reynolds tweet.
An expert sniper who first appeared in 1992's X-Force #8, Domino is a mutant with the power of probability alteration, something that usually is subconsciously triggered in moments of stress that telekinetically alters the odds in her favors, while giving her opponents some convenient bad luck. Over the years she’s been a thorn in Deadpool’s side as much as she’s been an ally. But perhaps most important for Deadpool 2 is her long relationship as the confidante and occasional lover of time traveling Summers child Cable—who, of course, is the other bit of casting news we’ve been waiting to hear about forever with this movie.
We’ll bring you more when we learn it, as Deadpool 2 is expected to be out some time early 2018.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is celebrating its 20-year anniversary tomorrow, and while the story (and the fashions) might technically be dated, the show is somehow more relevant than ever. Creator Joss Whedon tapped into a world where myths and monsters could be used to represent real problems, with a brilliant dash of his signature humor and heart. In celebration of 20 years of Buffy slayage, let’s travel to Sunnydale and celebrate this incredible show together (hopefully before the school blows up again).
1) Sarah Michelle Gellar
Sarah Michelle Gellar doesn’t get nearly enough credit for how incredible an actress she is, and how integral she was to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No one, I repeat, no one else could’ve brought Buffy to life as much as she did. Gellar handled the comedic and action-filled scenes like a pro, but her real strength was in the show’s more dramatic moments. Gellar’s performance was wrought with real, raw emotion. Nobody ever recovers after watching her in “The Body.” Nobody.
2) The Scoobies
Xander first jokingly called the group the Scooby Gang in episode two, and luckily, the name stuck... becoming their adorable team moniker for the entire run of the show. Who doesn’t want to be a Scooby?
3) Cordelia Chase
All of the Scoobies are amazing in their own right, but special attention needs to be paid to Cordelia (she would demand nothing less). She started out as Buffy’s high-school nemesis, a modern diva who dressed like a soccer mom and cared about nothing beyond her own selfish needs. As the show went on, her character grew into a full-fledged member of the gang. She was still kind of snobby and selfish, but she was 100 percent dedicated to her friends and their mission. Then, when she moved to Angel, she simply blossomed, becoming one of the most fascinating people in the franchise.
4) “Close your eyes.”
Three of the saddest words in Buffy fandom.
5) Anya’s Bunny Problem
I loved how Anya was terrified of bunnies. It was weird and random enough to perfectly fit her eccentric character. Granted, that admiration was ruined a bit after Anya’s bunny-filled backstory was revealed in the season seven episode “Selfless”—come on, guys, we didn’t need a reason for Anya to hate rabbits. In any case, we got to see Anya in a giant bunny costume as it was the most terrifying Halloween costume she could imagine, so it was all worth it.
6) Willow and Tara
I don’t care if you’re Team Angel or Team Spike, none of Buffy’s couplings can hold a candle to Willow and Tara. It was the best relationship on the show, period.
7) All the Random Celebrity Cameos
Amy Adams isn’t the only famous celebrity who cut their teeth fighting or becoming vampires on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Other rando appearances include Kal Penn, Amber Tamblyn, Shane West. Even Oberyn from Game of Thrones (pictured) stopped by Sunnydale for a visit in the season four episode “The Freshman.” I don’t blame him. It’s a popular spot. They’ve got coffee.
8) Vampire Willow
She was cute, she was deadly, and “a little gay.” What’s not to love? Whedon took the fan-favorite character from “The Wish” and brought her into our world for one episode, mostly because she was just too cool to leave dead in Cordelia’s alternate reality. Bonus points for putting her in Willow’s nightmarish pink fuzzy sweater that, inexplicably, you’ll soon be able to buy at Hot Topic.
9) The Fashions
You can’t single any of them out (except for the aforementioned Willow sweater), they’re all iconically terrible—a perfect storm of late ‘90s and early 2000s fashion mishaps. The full-length denim skirts, the asymmetrical tank tops... the Hawaiian shirts, oh god, any of Xander’s shirts, really. There’s an entire Twitter account dedicated to Buffy’s awful ensembles, and it’s worth poring through for hours.
10) “Hush”
“Hush” was nominated for a writing Emmy, even though it only has 17 minutes of dialogue. That’s all you need to know to understand how groundbreaking this season four episode was. The Gentlemen, some of the show’s creepiest villains, steal everyone’s voices so they can silently steal some hearts, and the Scoobies struggle to express their feelings to each other in the wake of losing something as integral as human communication. A bold and risky episode of TV, the episode ends up saying so much with so little.
11) The Death of Joyce Summers
Buffy the Vampire Slayer might’ve been a show where people died left and right, but there were still moments when death became a real and pervasive tragedy. Most notably is Buffy’s mom, who was found dead in her house after succumbing to a tumor. “The Body” was a powerful episode about how people deal with grief, especially against forces beyond their control. It’s the one episode people are genuinely afraid to put on, because it will stay with you for days.
12) “You have fruit punch mouth.”
The Master is the quintessential Buffy the Vampire Slayer villain. He’s the first baddie Buffy faced, and the one who first killed our beloved Slayer. But... he had fruit punch mouth. Thank goodness Buffy eventually pointed it out for us, in the season one finale “Prophecy Girl,” because it totally needed to be said.
13) Xander’s Magical Military Powers
In the season two episode “Halloween,” devilish trickster Ethan Rayne enchanted all of his costumes to transform their wearers into becoming their outfit... basically turning Buffy into a damsel in distress while a bunch of monster kids attacked strangers. The episode, while pretty inconsequential, ended up having one long-standing benefit: Xander retained a bunch of his knowledge that he acquired while dressed as a soldier, which he used randomly in later episodes to help the Scoobies out of some jams. Xander... taking cosplay to the extreme. Made him 100% cooler in my book.
14) Mr. Pointy
Buffy may have been surrounded by the Scoobies, but Mr. Pointy was her one true friend. He saw her through thick and thin, and plenty of vampire dustings. Plus, it turned out some of the series’ best jokes... like that infamous stake-miming scene from “Hush.”
15) The Trio
This isn’t a nod to season six’s villainous trio as a whole, but rather to each of the characters individually. As a group, they were pretty stupid and useless. By themselves, they were some of the most interesting characters in later seasons of Buffy. Jonathan was a constant presence on the show, growing from a nerdy background character to a key supporting character, with a fanciful pit stop in season five’s “Superstar” (one of my personal favorites). There was Andrew, a spin-off of a previous villain who morphed into a true hero by season seven. Then you’ve got Warren, a genuinely terrible man who challenged the show’s ideas of what it means to be a villain.
16) Spike and Buffy Literally Breaking a House While Fucking
Buffy was all about metaphors, it was one of the show’s biggest strengths. This one may have been one of the clunkiest (literally the walls are crumbling around them as they cave into their sexual needs), but it hinted how their relationship was mutually toxic and would only end in destruction. Plus, it was hot as hell.
17) The First Use of “Google” as a Verb
You heard that right. The first use of “googling” was heard on Buffy the Vampire Slayer by our technie-turned-witchie Willow. Buffy made history, folks.
18) That Time They Sang
Nowadays, we might see musical episodes as a staple instead of a gamble, with shows like Supergirl and Once Upon a Time taking them on... but when Whedon first pitched a song-filled episode of Buffy, some of the actors worried it would ruin their careers. Instead, season six’s episode “Once More, With Feeling” ended up becoming one of the show’s most iconic episodes, with songs that defined the characters’ stories and journeys... and featured some talented performances, notably from Anthony Head as Giles.
It especially ended up a real turning point for Buffy herself, who was in the midst of an internal crisis after being brought back from the dead. It’s no surprise that Gellar, who wasn’t a singer, took weeks of lessons because she didn’t want someone else to sing for Buffy.
19) The Yellow Crayon
The Dark Willow storyline is one of the most divisive in Buffy fandom (I personally love it, though I understand why people don’t), but there’s no denying its conclusion was beautiful and inspiring. Xander, the lone Scooby without supernatural abilities, calms and restores Willow using nothing but his unconditional love for her and a story from their childhood involving a yellow crayon. Season six carried themes about the power of humanity, so it made sense that Xander was the only thing who could bring Willow back from the brink.
20) Everything Else
No list can ever limit the number of things I can love about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There are too many to count. Joyce and Giles banging on a car, Glory’s entire gloriousness, Buffy’s beautiful goodbye to Dawn in “The Gift.” It’s an incredible piece of television. I don’t care if The Initiative sucked, or the fact that there was a weird slut-shaming subplot in season two’s “Go Fish.” Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of the best shows of the modern generation, and its influence will be felt for years.
Sometimes, the world can feel like a scary and confusing place. There are forces beyond our control. We feel helpless and small. Then, a Tyrannosaurus Rex plays Dungeons & Dragons, and suddenly, the world makes sense again.
Sue the T-Rex, a sassy fossil from the Chicago Field Museum, has spent the past several days conducting her own game of Dungeons & Dragons on Twitter. What started out as a silly pun has since evolved into a full-scale campaign where she and her team of adventurers have fought swarms of brigands, shared scientific knowledge, and checked a hell of a lot of traps.
Using a Twitter thread, Sue the T-Rex has set up scenes and scenarios for her character, a hadrosaur “Dinosorcerer,” and then puts out a poll to figure out what exactly she should do next. Mostly, people tell her to check for traps, because they really love that for some reason. Here’s just a small sampling of the epic adventure that’s unfolding.
No word who’s running Sue the T-Rex’s D&D campaign behind the scenes (although they’re definitely a D&D fan, given their extensive knowledge), but sometimes the magic is in the mystery. I choose to believe an extinct animal is playing Dungeons & Dragons online, because that is one of the coolest sentences that humans have ever uttered.
As of Thursday, Sue the T-Rex looks to have taken a small breather from the D&D campaign, but hopefully she’ll continue her epic journey soon. In the meantime, I absolutely recommend checking out the thread in its entirety. It’s seriously been one of the highlights of my week. It’s a dinosaur, and it plays Dungeons & Dragons!
