New heroes like Rey, Finn, and Poe. Old ones like Han and Leia. New foes like Kylo Ren. The Force Awakens is packed with great characters, but the Internet has chosen one above all: A Stormtrooper with a stun baton. Now this icon has been given an official backstory... because it’s bloody Star Wars, and everyone has a backstory.

There are some incredibly mild spoilers for The Force Awakens ahead. You’ve been warned!

You might already be familiar with the totally rad trooper that the Internet has dubbed “TR-8R” (for his sole line, an angry cry of “TRAITOR!” to get Finn’s attention) in the movie; he’s the riot-shield-and-baton-wielding Stormtrooper who goes toe-to-toe with his former fellow Stormtrooper after the First Order attacks Maz’s castle on Takodana. He manages to hold own against a lightsaber-toting Finn, and nearly delivers a fatal blow before Han Solo emerges out of the rubble and blows him away with his blaster pistol.

But despite his short-lived nature, TR-8R has become the target of adoration for everyone looking for the next Boba Fett, especially after Captain Phasma’s minimal screentime left people disappointed. There’s been fan art, memes, the whole shebang, and even his merchandise has attracted wild attention.

http://toyland.gizmodo.com/the-internets-...

But now TR-8R has gone down in official Star Wars history. In a new post on StarWars.com, the first canonical details about the trooper have been revealed—and TR-8R is no more. He’s FN-2199, asoldier with a close bond with Finn while they trained together in the First Order (hence his anger when they meet in the film!).

FN-2199 appears in Finn’s short story found in the Star Wars: Before the Awakening anthology by Greg Rucka, released to coincide with the movie in December. FN-2199—known to his squadmates as Nines—is the red-haired trooper you can see in the above art from the book,by Phil Noto. While he and Finn trained together, Nines was eventually transferred to Riot Control, an elite squad designed to quell uprisings on First Order planets, earning the right to use fancy gear like the Z-6 stun Baton.

In the film, FN-2199 was played by Liang Yang, a stunt performer known for his work in a variety of movies, from Skyfall to 47 Ronin, but his sole line was provided by a Skywalker Sound sound editor named David Acord, who’s worked on a plethora of Star Wars projects.

So is this basically the first equivalent of an Ice-Cream Maker Guy (that’s Willrow Hood to you) in Disney’s Star Wars canon. I can only hope. I love when tiny little parts of the Star Wars galaxy get fleshed out like this.

[StarWars.com]

After director James Wan left the horror genre for Furious 7, many fans thought he’d never be back. Quite the contrary! His very next film is The Conjuring 2, and the first trailer shows that the Saw and Insidious helmer hasn’t lost a single step. It’s scary as all hell.

Set several years after the first film, The Conjuring 2 tells another true story in the case files of Lorraine and Ed Warren (Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson, reprising their roles). This time, the Warrens “travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits,” although “malicious” seems like a bit of an understatement after watching this first trailer.

The Conjuring 2 opens June 10.

Contact the author at germain@io9.com.

Bless the leader of the Minutemen, and his never-ending supply of endangered settlements. He just wants to make the world a better place. And yet...

For Fallout 4 players, Preston Garvey’s dialogue has become a running joke. Anybody that’s played the game has probably fallen into the trap of talking to Preston Garvey, which inevitably means accepting quests that task you with saving settlements around the Commonwealth. Whenever you finish one of these quests, Preston always has another one waiting for you. He’ll even mark it on your map! Thing is, settlement quests aren’t very interesting, and Fallout 4 doesn’t give you a choice in accepting the quests, either—which makes Preston Garvey a character people love to hate.

Ever since the release of Fallout 4 back in November 2015, players have reacted to Preston Garvey’s character hilariously. Preston has basically become the new “arrow in the knee” joke, but for Fallout 4. Here’s a round-up of the best Preston-related jokes floating around on the internet.

(Via Kotaku commenter silver6kraid)

(By shaidis)

(Via fallout-guardians)

(By Hornaytoast)

(Via The Institute of MinuteMemes)

(Created by: sharkbucks)

(Created by: sharkbucks)

(Via queen-garfield)

(Via fallout-guardians)

(Via dystopiandroid)

(Via @TheDashingDavid)

(Via @zRoarrr)

(Via GibPlaysGames)

My favorite part of this video titled “Why I Hate Preston Garvey” by Roman Bellic is that, even as the player is clearly plotting Garvey’s demise, Garvey will still not shut up about the settlement that needs help. Amazing.

(Via @ColonelGarvey)

(Created by railroad-blues)

(Via chucklenutz)

(Via Kotaku Commenter Mr.Unobtanium)

When TNT started filming a pilot for its long-in-the-works adaptation of the DC superhero team, the Teen Titans, we wondered if it was going to be one DC live-action show too many. Turns out we need not have worried: Titans is officially dead.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/is-a-live-acti...

Although we’ve heard nothing about the show outside of a rumored roster for the Teen Titans since it was announced over a year ago, many assumed that Titans was just trundling along. But in an interview at the Television Critics Association’s Winter press tour, network president Kevin Reilly confirmed to TV Line that the show was not going to be moving forward:

It is not [still in development]. We just decided it wasn’t quite where we wanted to go.

While its sad that fans of the Titans won’t get to see their favorite heroes on the small screen, maybe this is for the best. Clearly there wasn’t much of a priority given to Titans if it’s managed to sit on the sidelines this long, while we’ve seen the likes of Supergirl, Arrow, The Flash, and soon to be Legends of Tomorrow flourish on other networks. And maybe, if we start seeing more and more series spread across TV networks like this, where they are very unlikely to be able to cross over, we’d lose part of what makes the current crop of DC’s TV shows so enjoyable and special right now.

But alas, now we just get to ponder what might have been.

[TV Line]

The Last Starfighter is my first memory as a human being. Not the first movie I remember seeing—the first thing that I remember at all. Suffice to say, it’s been a pretty formative piece in long time love of science fiction, games and more. Even so, I hadn’t watched it in years, and I’ve got to say it’s pretty fascinating.

In The Last Starfighter, a young man named Alex Rogan (Lance Guest) is a teenager living in a trailer park, desperate to get out into the world. His one taste of success comes from breaking the high score on the local video game machine, Starfighter. And then, he finds out that his high score has qualified him to actually go out into space and help defend the universe, just like in the game.

Watching the film today, one thing becomes abundantly clear. The Last Starfighter was way ahead of its time, and this both kills it and helps it. Narratively, the idea of a video game being a secret recruiting tool for a huge military operation is something that seems way more appropriate now, 30 years later, than it did in 1984. At that time, video games were popular but were a few years from really exploding in a mainstream way. Today, that billion dollar industry is so prevalent and accepted, the idea feels almost too realistic to be a science-fiction plot.

On the other hand, Last Starfighter is one of the earliest films to have full sequences that are completely computer generated. This, of course, has become the norm, but watching these scenes now, it feels like watching stick figures in a computer animated world. Atari versus PlayStation 4. It’s jarring, and not just in a kitschy way.

Those two issues leave The Last Starfighter stuck in time, and unable to fully embrace its potential because it arrived too soon. Today, the story is as awesome and exciting as ever. But when it was released, it seemed almost too crazy to believe. The effects, revolutionary at the time of release, now seems to hold the film back from connecting with modern audiences like other science fiction fare released around that time. (Films like E.T., Blade Runner and Return of the Jedi.)

However, the reason this film can even be mentioned in the same breath as other genre classics is because the things is does right, it does so right. From the opening second of the film, the score by Craig Safan soars. It’s the kind of adventure score you dream about: rousing, catchy and fun. Immediately you have the urge to whistle the crap out of it. In fact, let’s leave it here so you can listen while you continue to read.

From there we move into the human aspects of the film—Alex’s struggles with his dreams, his family, his girlfriend etc.—and it’s all very universal and relatable. In fact, over the course of the movie, the stuff on Earth blows away the stuff in space. The aliens, new planets, spaceships, that’s all well and good. But meanwhile, an android “Beta” unit is sent to Earth to replace Alex so nobody notices he’s gone. And meanwhile, Alex struggles to accept this fate. All of the supporting characters, including Alex’s brother and girlfriend, really keep the film fun and interesting.

For example, Alex gets recruited by Centauri (an energetic, underrated performance by the late great Robert Preston) and the pair venture into space. As an audience member, this is what you’ve been waiting for. And yet Alex rejects this opportunity. He says “No” to the idea of being an intergalactic hero, and goes home. Of course, this swerve doesn’t last for long, but its a great sign of the ways in which Alex’s character is more important to the movie than its spectacle. The film would rather do right by its characters than get immediately into the space stuff.

Actually, once Alex does embrace his importance and go off on his mission to defeat Xur and the Kodan Armada, the film fades a bit. It’s a very straightforward, simple shoot-em-up space mission, and the biggest move they make is to hide. In fact, I was kind of surprised how underwhelming the whole big action scene felt. It wasn’t until the very end of the film that you really get a feeling of accomplishment. Alex goes home, reveals his exploits to the trailer park, embraces his role and moves to space. That’s the real payoff of the movie: Alex the human becoming Alex the Starfighter, and his family and friends accepting it. Watching him rotate around in a swivel chair pales in comparison.

Which, again, speaks to the duality of the film. The story is so strong, and the characters so good—and yet in this space-adventure, a group of crazy characters in a trailer park “ooing” and “ahhing” at a video game feels more awesome than everything else.

Thirty-plus years after its release, The Last Starfighter remains insanely watchable and fun. The flaws are evident, but they have little to do with the script by Jonathan Betuel or direction by Nick Castle. The whole thing is a product of its time, for good and bad, and deserves to be remembered for both.

Check out some of our older posts on this cult classic.

Contact the author at germain@io9.com.

American Horror Story: Hotel returned last night after its holiday hiatus, and nearly every character had his or her claws out. When the dust settled, we were left with an in-depth lesson on who is controlling whom at the Cortez—as it stands now, at least.

Spoilers!

Episode 10’s climactic hail of bullets kills Donovan, to Iris’ horror. It’s a small consolation that they’re able to drag him to the sidewalk outside the hotel, ensuring that his ghost won’t be trapped there forever. This is an important theme throughout episode 11, aptly titled “Battle Royale.”

The Countess isn’t so lucky. She’s nursed back to health by abandonment-phobic Sally, and she convinces Ramona to quiet her lusty revenge, but she’s finally done in by John—who’s selected the Countess as his final Ten Commandments Killer victim. “Thou shall not commit murder” meant he had to, uh, find a murderer to kill ... and who better? James Patrick March is stoked, because this means his beloved has now joined his ghostly ranks. Poor ol’ Sally, though; even after we learn more of her horrific backstory, March won’t let her kill John and keep him forever.

As for the vampires, Ramona is now Queen Bee of the hotel, and is feeling extra-fierce after feasting on a witch (guest star Gabourey Sidibe, delightfully reprising her AHS: Coven character)—thanks to an assist by March.

Things aren’t looking good for the Countess. But there are two episodes to go, and though she made for a fab vampire, I have a feeling she’s going to make a hell of an angry ghost.

This morning, the USDA and the Department of Health and Human services finally issued a new set of American dietary guidelines. Just a few hours later, the first lawsuit over those same dietary recommendations was announced.

So, what’s in these new guidelines that has people so upset less than 24 hours in? Really, not that much—in fact, quite a bit less than was expected.

The dietary guidelines were supposed to be out before the end of last year, but kept getting delayed as the committee tried to figure out just what exactly they were going to put in them. It was widely rumored that, when they finally did drop, the new edition would prompt a showdown between the meat industry and the feds over recommendations that Americans eat less meat.

It didn’t happen—largely because those recommendations never showed up in the final draft. In fact, meat-eating barely even comes up, besides a recommendation that Americans eat “lean meats” when they can and cut down on saturated fats.

The other major change in this new edition is a hard limit on sugar intake. While not eating too much sugar has long been recommended, people were mostly left to themselves to decide what “too much” meant—and unsurprisingly, people were quite generous with their interpretations. Now, the sugar cap is set at 10% of a person’s total daily calories, whatever that amount may be. The guidelines also draw a distinction between sugar and fructose (the natural sugar found in fruit). The latter isn’t included in the final count.

But it’s neither sugar or meat that prompted the lawsuit; it’s a question over egg recommendations. U.S. dietary guidelines have long included a provision suggesting Americans keep cholesterol consumption under 300 milligrams. If you were unaware of it, don’t feel bad: Almost no one else was either—except for the egg industry, who hated it.

In these new guidelines, that daily cholesterol limit was mysteriously dropped and replaced with the cheerful but decidedly vague suggestion that Americans eat “a variety of protein foods, including seafood, lean meats and poultry, eggs, legumes (beans and peas), soy products, and nuts and seeds,” coupled with a suggestion that men in particular may be eating too much protein without realizing it.

A vegan advocacy group, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, is filing a suit over the change, and suggested to the New York Times that the egg industry, and their long-standing dislike over the limit, may have been behind it.

This new set of guidelines is set to take us through 2020, so there’s plenty of time to hash out just what they mean — or even to make some changes. But so far, these new guidelines seem a lot like the old ones.

Top image: vegetable market / liz west

Follow the author at @misra

For years, the term “Anthropocene” has been used to informally describe the human era on Earth. But new evidence suggests there’s nothing informal about it. We’re a true force of nature — and there’s good reason to believe we’ve sparked a new and unprecedented geological epoch.

A team of international geoscientists say the time has come for us to formally recognize the Anthropocene as a new epoch, one as significant as previous geological eras like the Holocene and Pleistocene. According to the new study, which appears in the latest issue of Science, it began sometime around the midpoint of the 20th century, and is fueled by a number of unquestionably human influences — including elevated greenhouse gas levels and the global proliferation of invasive species, along with the spread of materials such as aluminium, concrete, fly ash, and even fallout from nuclear testing.

In geology, stratum describes a layer of sedimentary rock, soil, or ice with consistent characteristics that distinguish it from other layers. By studying strata, scientists can track changes to the Earth over time. (Image credit: Strata in Salta, Argentina, Flickr)

The study was co-authored by 24 members of the Anthropocene Working Group, including Jan Zalasiewicz and Colin Waters from the British Geological Survey. These scientists are studying the extent to which our actions can be recorded as measurable signatures in geological strata — layers of sedimentary rock, soil, or ice with consistent characteristics to distinguish between them — and how our activities and byproducts are driving Earth into an entirely new geological epoch.

“Our evidence suggests that the kind of earth system changes, and their stratigraphical products, that humans have generated are comparable with those of the geological past,” Zalasiewicz told Gizmodo. “There is significant geological reality underlying the Anthropocene concept, on a scale that is consistent with potential formalization.”

Zalasiewicz says it’s important to characterize the Anthropocene more precisely, and to make it more useful in wider communication. What’s more, it shows that “our species is clearly capable of altering the course of Earth history rather more than the average species.”

(Credit: C. N. Waters et al., 2015/Science)

New evidence presented by the researchers shows that our current world is markedly different than the stable Holocene Epoch of the previous 11,700 years. The Holocene began at the end of the last ice age, but unlike other epochs, it features a highly intelligent and resourceful species that’s been dramatically influencing the environment.

Early efforts to define and circumscribe the Anthropocene cite the advent of agriculture, animal domestication, deforestation, and tiny — but measurable — increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide and methane levels. Other major developments include the colonization of the Americas and the subsequent exchange of New and Old world species, and the beginning of the Industrial Revolution.

Pulp and Paper Mill (Credit: Akexvye/CC BY 3.0)

But none of these activities, say the Anthropocene Working Group, has done as much to change the very fabric of the planet itself as the so-called “Great Acceleration” — a critical transition point during the mid-20th century after which our civilization experienced accelerated technological development, rapid population growth, and increased consumption of resources.

As the researchers write in their study:

These have combined to result in increased use of metals and minerals, fossil fuels, and agricultural fertilizers and increased transformation of land and nearshore marine ecosystems for human use. The net effect has been a loss of natural biomes to agriculture, cities, roads, and other human constructs and the replacement of wild animals and plants by domesticated species to meet growing demands for food.

Consequently, the researchers point to the 1950s and 1960s as the true start to the Anthropocene; our civilizational residue has become — and is increasingly becoming — a pervasive and persistent part of the geological record.

As Zalasiewicz explained, “There are an array of markers associated with previous epochs that make post-mid-20th century strata distinguishable from older strata.”

Millions of years from now, the traces of our civilization will be found buried in the geological record, and will include stratigraphic layers filled with concrete, elemental aluminum, plastics, and other characteristically human byproducts. Geologists of the future — or perhaps extraterrestrial archaeologists, for that matter — will also find signs of carbon particulates from atmospheric pollution, abnormally elevated levels of nitrogen and phosphorus from fertilizers and pesticides, and the radionuclide fallout from nuclear weapons. Other signatures will include dramatic changes to coastal sedimentation, and signs of widespread species extinction.

Increased rates of vertebrate extinctions. (Credit: C. N. Waters et al., 2015/Science)

Some of these “signals,” explains Zalasiewicz, are simply markers, such as radioactive fallout. But others signal more pervasive change, while still others are effectively irreversible, such as the “homogenization” of the biosphere through invasive species. Taken together, they all characterize strata — prompting scientists to consider the onset of a new geological era.

“Geological time units, including epochs, are typically established around systematic changes to stratal characteristics that typically reflect changes to the earth system of one form or another,” said Zalasiewicz. In other words, evidence of human activities is being stamped onto rocks, sediments, and glacier ice.

For comparison, consider the Carboniferous period. This era, which began about 358 million years ago, marked time when trees grew across all the planet’s land masses. After these trees died, they left a distinctive carbon footprint in the geological record, hence the term “Carboniferous.”

The Anthropocene Epoch, should it become formally recognized, will become one of many epochs in the Quaternary period, which began 2.6 million years ago. “Not only would this represent the first instance of a new epoch having been witnessed firsthand by advanced human societies,” the authors conclude, “it would be one stemming from the consequences of their own doing.”

(Credit: NASA)

Yet some scientists have raised objections to the formalization of the term. It’s possible that the greatest changes to the planet, and thus the strata, are still to come, such as the long term effects of global warming and rising sea levels. Others complain that the Anthropocene characterizes a painfully brief geological interval of time.

“These are all legitimate points,” said Zalasiewicz, “but it’s worth pointing out the scale speed, diversity and (in many cases) long-lived nature or irreversibility of the changes related to the Anthropocene.” He admits that the Anthropocene could be a short-lived era, one that will most certainly evolve over time, particularly as human influences accelerate and spread, and in consideration of future technologies. Regardless, Zalasiewicz said that nothing will “take us back to the Earth of the Holocene or of previous times.” The key point is that the Earth is now evolving along a new trajectory, and there’s “bound to be an evolution of different states,” which is true of previous major changes to the Earth system.

The timing of this study is not an accident. Back in 2013, the Anthropocene Working Group submitted a proposal to the International Commission on Stratigraphy to formally accept the term. This proposal is scheduled to be reviewed by the ICS later this year. From there it’s expected to be a long and hard process. Should it be accepted by the Subcommission on Quaternary Stratigraphy and the ICS itself, it’ll still have to be ratified by the International Union of Geological Sciences.

The group plans on carrying out further analyses, and addressing board responses to their new and previous papers. And as Zalasiewicz told Gizmodo, his team has further manuscripts in preparation, and they’re working to summarize available evidence and provide interim recommendations by mid-2016.

Read the entire study at Science: “The Anthropocene is functionally and stratigraphically distinct from the Holocene”.

Email the author at george@gizmodo.com and follow him at @dvorsky. Top image of the US Eastern seaboard at night by NASA

I mean, just look at them. Sure, one’s a heavily armored angry dude and the other is a space alien with glowing red eyes that are about to shoot out hot laser beams of death. But still, babies!

Hot Toys have unveiled the cutesy little “Cosbaby” toys as the latest in their line of Batman v Superman products, and the first set will be a twin pack of Bats and Supes duking it out... for the title of “Cutest DC cinematic hero” rather than anything else.

As they’re meant to be battling, this is Bruce in his heavily armored Batsuit rather than his usual gear (complete with a hilarious expression of his gritted teeth), while Clark’s eyes are blazing red as if he’s readying a blast of his heat vision. Even in these angry forms, these 3.75” tall figures still just look cute as hell in these super deformed style sculpts. They come with a few tiny accessories to set the scene: Batman’s Batsignal, and Superman is attached to a special stand to make it look like he’s floating in the air.

No word on when these two will be available, but presumably it’ll be in the summer, given the usual Hot Toys annouce/release cycle. They’ll likely cost around $60-80, because, like all Hot Toys products, they’re exceedingly pricey.

[Hot Toys on Facebook]

Toyland: We love toys. Join us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.

Did you need another existential risk to keep you up at night? Probably not, but here it is anyway: galaxy quakes. We’ve known about ‘em for years, and we hadn’t a clue what causes them—until now.

The culprit, unveiled today at the 227th meeting of the American Astronomical Society, is about as weird as you’d expect. Astronomers now believe that ripples in gas around the edge of the Milky Way are the result of a dwarf galaxy filled with dark matter ramming up against us several hundred million years ago.

Sukanya Chakrabarti of the Rochester Institute of Technology reached that bizarre conclusion by measuring the speed of three bright stars, called Cepheid variables, at the Gemini Observatory in Chile. These stars, which are suspected to hail from a larger population that entered our Milky Way during the Great Galactic Quaking of 300 million B.C., are all speeding away from us at about 450,000 mph.

“This really implicates these stars as being part of an organized, fast-moving system which we believe is a dwarf galaxy. It’s also very likely that this dwarf satellite brushed our galaxy millions of years ago and left ripples in its wake,” said Chakrabarti.

In addition to solving the galaxy quake mystery, Chakrabarti’s discovery highlights a promising new method for studying the dark matter that makes up nearly 30 percent of our universe. Dark matter can be probed indirectly by measuring the velocity of objects moving through it—in this case, Cepheid variable stars.

One asteroseismological mystery down, one tremendous cosmological puzzle to go.

Top: Milky Way Galaxy, via Wikimedia

Get some of last year’s best stories for just $1.99! The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2015 is a Kindle Daily Deal today.

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Contact the author at charliejane@io9.com and follow her on Twitter @CharlieJane

Have you seen those two-wheeled, self-balancing scooter things that all the kids are crazy about? They’re called hoverboards. Get over it.

Many people take issue with the name “hoverboard.” But here in 2016, we find ourselves futilely debating over the inevitable. This is a fight that has already been decided. The fix is in. The hovertrain has left the hoverstation. People who buy hoverboards have decided that the generic term is “hoverboard.” Not swagway, or powerboard, or whatever clever name you came up with. They’re called hoverboards. Get over it.

Remember about 10 years ago when some people were fighting over the word “podcast”? Tech reporter Leo Laporte led a concerted effort to call them netcasts. Have you listened to any good netcasts recently? I thought not. We find ourselves in the same position with “hoverboards.” If you call them anything else, recognize that you’re going to be on the losing side of history. Your descendants will laugh at your feeble attempts to steer the international lexicon in a way that favors your worldview. Or perhaps more likely, they’ll forget you or I even existed as the march of time moves but in one direction and a century hence few people will even know we graced this Earth with our impotent bickering and tedious creation of ones and zeroes — each wasted digital breath scattered briefly through the ether. They’re called hoverboards. Get over it.

Look, I used to be right there with you. I hated the fact that the term hoverboard was being co-opted for something that didn’t hover. I’ve been consistently writing about my desire to see a real hoverboard come to market for almost a decade now. It was my childhood dream. And they might some day become a reality. But here in 2016, the term hoverboard officially means something else now. Hoverboards don’t hover. And that sucks. We can twist and turn all night — hoping, dreaming, longing for a day when science yet again becomes magic. We can imagine some whimsical floating product built to instill wonder and allow us, if only for a short while, to forget every moment we wasted on this dying planet that continues to pulsate for untold millions with unimaginable pain and unspeakable horrors. But they’re called hoverboards. Get over it.

I even remember people fighting over the term “blog” in the early 2000s. People thought that blog was such an incredibly dumb and undignified name. They weren’t wrong. Blahhhhhg. The word rolls off your tongue like you’ve got a mouthful of clam chowder that’s been sitting in the desert sun for a few weeks. Yes, we all know that these hoverboards don’t hover. But that doesn’t matter. The word blog comes from the term “web-log” but blogs aren’t always written or read on the web anymore. But you moved on. The sun still rose and the stars still shined and we all went about our miserable little lives as insignificant specks temporarily riding Spaceship Earth in a vast sea of undiscovered space that was wholly indifferent to our very existence. They’re called hoverboards. Get over it.

Blog is an annoying word, but since “reverse chronological online publishing” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, the term stuck. That’s simply how language works. Over time, people just accept whatever the majority might decide is the right term for a given technological product. Frankly, there are still plenty of technologies that I struggle to find generic words for. Like Skype/Facetime/videophones, for example. What’s the generic term? I don’t know. But I do know what the generic term for those hoverboard things that are getting banned left and right, and yet don’t hover. When the last building of the last civilization finally falls in on itself, crumbling into a heap of ash and dust, only then will we forget the name. They’re called hoverboards. Get over it.

Feel free to fight the good fight as long as you like. Mash your keyboard with forty-thousand word missives on the definition of the word hover. Type ferociously and let your fingers become as calloused as what’s left of your soul. Then type longer still, until your digits bleed; the blood slowly drying on the keys and turning into a crimson shrine of your devotion to the right and proper word for a technological device that does not in any way hover.

They’re called hoverboards. Get over it.

Illustration by Tara Jacoby

Tell me a story, io9—and do it in just six words.

What’s on your mind today? Is it lovelorn time-travelers, attempting to make contact across the distance (“Time Traveler seeks partner; have met.”—purdyjpurdy)? Or the unauthorized—and mysterious—hacking of a Martian rover (“Mars Rover Offline: Unauthorized Firmware Update”—robotmonkeyzombiekiller)? Or maybe it’s some combination of all the above, plus or minus an assortment of robots, perpetual suns, and off-world roadtrips?

Whatever it is, put it into words (but remember, just six of them!). Then tell us your tale and settle in for some reading.

Top image: a6photo / Shutterstock

Follow the author at @misra.

Deadspin Football Is Always Worth It | The Muse Wow This Husband-Wife American Idol Audition Got Too Real Real Quick | Field Guide Use These Secret Codes to Unlock Netflix’s Hidden Categories | Gawker New Jersey High Schooler Sent to Principal’s Office for “Anti-Israel” Tweets |

Peridot joining the Crystal Gems in Steven Universe has given us some great moments, and a softening of one of the show’s few villains. But while “It Could’ve Been Great” took us to the far flung reaches of the moon, it also showed us that Peridot still has a long way to go on her path to redemption.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/steven-univers...

Spoilers ahead, of course!

So far, a lot of this week’s run of Steven Universe episodes have been about acknowledging the growth that the cast has gone through over the course of the show’s life—Garnet flourishing from distant enigma to a warm, layered character, Steven’s own physical and emotional growth, and now we turn to Peridot, a recent convert to the side of the Crystal Gems. But while she has come on bounds from her days of maniacal cackling as the show’s only real reoccurring villain, this episode really highlighted what keeps her at odds with Steven and the Crystal Gems in a fascinating way.

What holds back Peridot is desperate yearning for order and control, for things tangible and intangible to have structure and to have a sense of purpose as part of a greater whole—while the Crystal Gems value the beauty and chaotic sense of freedom that life on Earth symbolizes. We see it in the episode’s delightful earworm of an opening musical number, which starts with Steven teaching Peridot to understand and appreciate the structure and point of music, even if to her it initially looks like a basic form that doesn’t do anything.

But it really comes into play in the closing moments of the episode, when after traveling to the Moon to retrieve some old Homeworld Gem data for the drill the team are building to travel to the cluster. While at the base, Peridot discovers the Gem Homeworld’s original plans to turn Earth into a colony planet: sure, all life on Earth would’ve been destroyed, but it would’ve been placed with the precise order and structure of the Gem Empire. It would’ve had purpose, and, as she says, “It could’ve been great,” if only the Crystal Gems hadn’t rebelled. But the Gem’s reactions speak to anything but admiration:

It’s horror, disgust, fear—everything that they have ever fought for, wiped away in the blink of an eye. The fact that Peridot can’t see that means not just that she’s got a long way to go before she really feels like part of this team, but also that there’s going to be some serious head-butting to come in the near future.

This year is full of great science fiction and fantasy TV series. Actually, 2016 is too full. Seriously, check out how long this list of new, returning and potentially premiering shows due out over the next 12 months is. When are we going to get a chance to leave the house and watch all those great movies, or read all the year’s best books? Honestly, we don’t know. We just know it’s a good problem to have.

BRAND NEW SHOWS AND NEW SEASONS:

The Shannara Chronicles (January 5, MTV)

MTV’s adaptation of Terry Brooks’ fantasy mega-series began earlier this week; while the series premiere was a bit slow, it quickly picks up in the next few episodes once all the attractive teenage heroes band together to save the post-apocalyptic fantasy realm of Shannara. Our initial review is here.

Teen Wolf (January 5, MTV)

One of the most byzantine supernatural soap operas in years, this show continues to add more and more stuff to its mythos. Stiles’ dad, Sheriff Stilinski, is dying, and meanwhile everybody’s looking for the Hellhound. But what have the Dread Doctors cooked up, and what do they want with our favorite banshee, Lydia?

Angel From Hell (January 7, CBS)

Jane Lynch plays a young woman’s guardian angel—but this angel is foul-mouthed, sexually liberated and kind of a crazy stalker. This sounds like the set-up for the best show ever, but it’s actually kind of a trainwreck because they forgot to give Jane Lynch anything interesting to act opposite. The rest of the show’s characters, and its storylines, are utterly banal and sitcom-tastic, and not even Jane Lynch can lift this show up.

Shadowhunters (January 12, Freeform)

Clary Fray is a half-human, half-angel, who discovers that she’s supposed to be fighting demons. This show is the second attempt at an adaptation of The Mortal Instruments series, which didn’t find a home at the box office. This TV version—on the channel formerly known as ABC family—should be a better fit.

Second Chance (January 13, Fox)

A 75-year-old man who used to be sheriff until he faked some evidence is killed... and then he’s brought back to life as a young, sexy, mostly shirtless man with the strength of five ordinary men. And he fights crime. This show was originally supposed to be a “Frankenstein” knock-off, but it looks like they wisely dropped that aspect, since it’s super-tenuous. If this show can focus on its flawed protagonist avoiding his past mistakes, that could actually be pretty interesting.

Colony (January 14, USA)

Lost’s Josh Holloway stars in this dystopian thriller where he and his family live in a Los Angeles controlled by fascist aliens, enforced by a mysterious group called the Raptors. And they’re surrounded by a giant wall that cuts the city off from the rest of the world. Holloway and his family try to help the human resistance while searching for their son, who was lost during the original alien invasion.

Agent Carter (January 19, ABC)

TV’s greatest superhero (yeah, I said it) returns! Agent Peggy Carter leaves NYC for late ‘40s Hollywood, an atomic threat, and the villainous HYDRA leader known as Madame Masque. Really, the show could be Peggy and Jarvis taking walks together, and we’d be just as excited.

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (January 21, The CW)

Time-traveler Rip Hunter arrives from the future to cobble together a team of heroes and villains—including the Atom, Firestorm, Hawgirl, Captain Cold and more—to stop the immortal Vandal Savage in DC’s fourth TV series. Hey, it’s not the Justice League, but it’s probably as close as The CW’s going to get.

The 100 (January 21, The CW)

Last year, The 100 managed to mature into a great show, so we have high hopes that season three of this post-apocalyptic drama continues to move the ball forward in new and interesting ways. There’s an AI who has work to do, after all.

Black Sails (January 23, Starz)

This pirate drama returns for a third season of nautical violence, nautical sex, awesome beards, and characters who are named after their awesome beards. There haven’t been any mermaids or sea monsters yet, but there have been some pretty awesome naval battles, and lots of betrayal and skullduggery.

The X-Files (January 24, Fox)

Is the truth still out there? Presumably so, since Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are teaming back up to investigate monsters, aliens, the return of the Cigarette Smoking Man, and other mysterious goings-on. If you’re hesitant to wade into the show’s massive, overarching mythology about an alien invasion, don’t worry—there are a few stand-alone episodes, too.

Lucifer (January 25, Fox)

Somehow, Fox managed to take the Sandman comic spin-off about the devil quitting his job as ruler of hell and moving to Los Angeles, and turn it into a murder procedural. Yes, Satan is solving murders with the LAPD in this show ostensibly based on Mike Carey’s Vertigo comic—but Tom Ellis looks so damn fun as Lucifer, it might end up being too fun to miss.

The Magicians (January 25, Syfy)

Lev Grossman’s critically acclaimed novel The Magicians can be simplified as “Harry Potter in an American college,” but Quentin Coldwater’s problems include sex, drugs, parties, and how boring studying is. Of course, there’s still the matter that someone is eating his fellow students…

You, Me and the Apocalypse (January 28, NBC)

The UK got this show last year, and it’s got a cast to die for: Mathew Baynton, Joel Fry, Pauline Quirke, Jenna Fischer, Kyle Soller, Rob Lowe, Gaia Scodellaro, Paterson Joseph, and Megan Mullally. It’s a comedy-drama about the end of the world, where Rob Lowe plays a priest. If that doesn’t get you on board, then nothing will.

The Venture Bros. (January 31, Adult Swim)

There’s pretty much no details about what’s going to happen in the long-awaited sixth season of The Venture Bros., but so what? Are you not going to watch it just because you don’t know what insanity Hank, Dean, Brock, Doc and the Venture-verse’s wide pantheon of characters is going to get into this year? Yeah, we didn’t think so.

11.22.63 (February 15, Hulu)

A mild-mannered high school teacher (James Franco) discovers a portal to 1958 in a dinner in this miniseries based on the novel by Stephen King, but he’s also given a task—prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963, five years later.

Vikings (February 18, History)

Here’s another historical drama inspired by Game of Thrones. It’s time to raid the British Isles! Everybody always enjoys a good Viking raid. Meanwhile, the Vikings are still torn between their old Norse gods and that newfangled monotheism thing.

Damien (March 7, A&E)

Satan’s Hollywood hot streak continues with this horror-drama series based on the hit 1976 movie The Omen. In the present day, the adult Damien has a successful career as a war photographer but no idea of his true parentage, until a mysterious older woman (played by the always excellent Barbara Hershey) who is intent on getting Damien to follow in his father’s footsteps.

Bates Motel (March 7, A&E)

A&E renewed this show for two seasons, meaning that this year’s fourth season is being made with the knowledge of a guaranteed season five, which gives them a lot of time to play. And since Norman’s hallucinations caused him to kill Bradley, you can bet that Norma’s got a lot to deal with.

Daredevil (March 18, Netflix)

Marvel’s Man Without Fear returns to protect Hell’s Kitchen, alongside the arrival of the deadly vigilante the Punisher and Matt Murdock’s ex-girlfriend, the ninja assassin Elektra. But who’s going to save Matt from them?

12 Monkeys (April, Syfy)

This TV adaptation of Terry Gilliam’s excellent time travel film was one of 2015’s most delightful surprises, so we can’t wait for season 2. Season one ended with the cliffhanger-iest of cliffhangers—Railly was so gravely injured Cole had to send her to the future, Jones had to surrender the time machine to a post-apocalyptic mob, several main characters are dead, and the Army of the 12 Monkeys has 12 babies ready to (somehow) destroy the world. Can Cole time-travel his way out of this?

Game of Thrones (April, HBO)

Now that the show has truly caught up to the books, everyone is in the dark about what going to happen on the hit fantasy series. Here’s all we know: Bran is back, and will likely using his powers to reveal the secrets of the past. The extended Greyjoy family has a new role to play. Dany is back to square one. And somehow, in some form, it appears Jon Snow still has some kind of role to play.

Orphan Black (April, BBC America)

What can we expect from the always excellent Orphan Black? Well, we know that the show will be exploring stories that go all the way back to the beginning of season one. We love Orphan Black best when Tatiana Maslany and co. get to shine, and it looks like that’s where things are headed.

Scream (April 20, MTV)

The thing is, Scream doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel to work. The original movie was about being self-aware and funny along with, you know, the murdering. Season two just has to deliver more of the same.

MID-SEASON RETURNS:

Supergirl (January 4, CBS)

Supergirl continues to have family drama—not with her more famous cousin, but her semi-evil, ex-con aunt.

Limitless (January 5, CBS)

Brian will riskily continue playing the FBI on Morra’s behalf until Rebecca discovers the gut-wrenching truth.

Mythbusters (January 9, Discovery)

The final season of the long-running science show! I’m not a betting man, but I think they might just blow something up.

CSI: Cyber (January 10, CBS)

The internet continues to be exactly as scary as your grandparents worry it is.

iZombie (January 12, The CW)

Liv has broken up with Major (again), the mob boss and Max Rager company are still free, and the zombie cure is kaput. Things aren’t looking good.

The Flash (January 19, The CW)

Barry Allen still has no idea how to defeat Zoom, and now it appears Zoom has secretly turned one of his allies against him, too.

Arrow (January 20, The CW)

Felicity is gravely wounded, and the show keeps flash-forward to Oliver standing over someone’s grave. Don’t even think about it, Arrow.

Supernatural (January 20, The CW)

Sam and Dean must regroup after learning the truth about Dean’s visions.

Grimm (January 29, NBC)

Somehow, Nick’s illegitimate half-Grimm, half-Hexenbiest son by his former archenemy is the least complicated thing in his life at the moment.

Sleepy Hollow (February 5, Fox)

If you gave up on Sleepy Hollow last season, it’s definitely time to give it another try, as Ichabod refuses to accept Abbie’s sacrifice.

The Walking Dead (February 14, AMC)

The zombie horde is in Alexandria, Rick and the others are covered in blood and guts, and the comics’ worst villain, Negan, it about to make his appearance. Things are looking as good as ever!

Gotham (February 29, Fox)

Last time we saw him, Jim Gordon murdered an unarmed man in cold blood. So, uh… yeah.

Once Upon a Time (March 6, ABC)

Time will only tell if the trip to bring Hook back from the dead is more miserable for the characters or us.

Agents of SHIELD (March 8, ABC)

So, remember how Ward was kind of a pain in SHIELD’s ass? It looks like he’s going to get a whole lot worse.

TBD:

BrainDead (CBS)

This show in which alien brain-eating parasites attack members of Congress and their staffers is supposedly premiering this summer, just in the middle of election season. This show could explain everything!

Containment (The CW)

This plague drama is loosely based on an acclaimed Belgian show called Cordon. Basically, parts of Atlanta, GA are cordoned off because people inside are infected with an incredibly deadly virus. But when your loved ones are trapped in the “infected” area, how far will you go to save them? The show’s cast includes the brilliant David Gyasi, and the pilot was directed by David Nutter, so this should at least be highly watchable.

Doctor Who (BBC America)

We have faith that this show will be back in 2016 and won’t keep us hanging for an entire year. We need our Capaldi fix!

Emerald City (NBC)

NBC ordered this dark retelling of The Wizard of Oz—where Dorothy is a young cop transported to a war-torn Oz—in 2014, then canceled it, and have now changed their minds and scheduled it for this fall. This is probably not a good sign, but I have to admit I’m looking forward to Toto being a K-9 unit member.

Hunters (Syfy)

Syfy’s had some pretty great luck lately with adapting books—let’s hope it holds with this adaptation of Whitley Streiber’s Alien Hunters book series. The good news? It’s produced by Gale Ann Hurd (Terminator, Walking Dead) and developed by Natalie Chaidez (Sarah Connor Chronicles, 12 Monkeys).

Legion (FX)

The first live-action TV show based on the X-Men comics since Mutant X, this show follows a young man who’s struggled with mental illness since he was a teenager—but he may actually be the savior of mutantkind. In the comics, the character of Legion is the son of Professor X, but there’s no word on whether the TV show will keep that detail (or how close to movie continuity this show will be.) Rachel Keller (Fargo) just signed on to play the female lead, who’s rumored to be a version of Rogue. Also in the pipeline: Hellfire, Fox’s show about the Hellfire Club—but that seems to be less far along.

Luke Cage (Netflix)

We know Netflix’s third Marvel series is in production, so here’s hoping it’ll premiere before the end of the year. Very little is known about the actual story of the show, other than everyone loves Mike Colter’s memorable portrayal of the indestructible hero from his many appearances in Jessica Jones.

Outcast (Cinemax)

Robert Kirkman struck television gold with The Walking Dead. Now another one of his properties is coming to TV, except this one is about demonic possession instead of zombies. Kyle Barnes (Patrick Fugit) has struggled with demons his whole life, and then he’s recruited by a crazy preacher (Philip Glenister from Life on Mars) to lead the war against evil.

Person of Interest (CBS)

The best TV show about artificial intelligence is set to ask some thorny questions in its fifth season—like, can they really restore the Machine from its compressed backup inside a suitcase? When they do bring the Machine back, should it be the same before, or should it have fewer limitations on its ethics? The war against the evil A.I. Samaritan is going to get uglier. Let’s hope this show comes back soon!

Powers (PlayStation Network)

Yes, this show does still exist and got a second season. Season 2 will follow the plot of volume one of the comics: Who killed Retro Girl? But the show also returns with some added Wil Wheaton, so it may actually be worth a PlayStation account.

Preacher (AMC)

They said it couldn’t be done! They said it shouldn’t be done! Then Seth Rogen went and finally managed to turn Garth Ennis’ hit Vertigo comic series about a disillusioned preacher with a mysterious power, his hardscrabble ex-girlfriend and their hard-drinking vampire buddy, as they search America for God, who has abandoned his job. (Suffice it to say they don’t want to merely shake his hand.) Given how long fans have been waiting for this show to materialize—and how accurate Rogen’s version looks like it’s going to be—here’s hoping they won’t have to wait until 2017 to see it.

Westworld (HBO)

There’s still no firm premiere date for HBO’s infinitely anticipated TV series reboot of the strange 1973 movie about a hedonistic amusement park full of robots who tend to the attendees fantasies, but then run amok. It’s supposed to be this year, but then it was also supposed to premiere last year, so let not hold our breath.

Contact the author at rob@io9.com.

Netflix series Making a Murderer is the most popular project to inspire distrust in the justice system since the West Memphis Three went free. Ten hour-long episodes were enough to provide a lot of information about the Steven Avery case—but it seems there’s still more to tell, which a new doc will attempt to do.

The intense interest in the Wisconsin murder has inspired all manner of internet speculation, memes and meme-related merchandise, and Investigation Discovery to look into other possible instances of injustice hurry a news special about the Avery case into production. It sounds like the new doc will take a different angle than the Laura Ricciardi and Moira Demos-directed series, Variety reports:

The news program, which is produced by NBC’s Peacock Productions, will be part of ID’s “Front Page” series and be hosted by “Dateline NBC” correspondent Keith Morrison. It promises to look at critical details surrounding the Steven Avery murder trial at the center of the Netflix project.

“We feel compelled to display some of the critical details missing from the Netflix production,” said Henry Schleiff, group president, Investigation Discovery, American Heroes Channel and Destination America, said at TCA. “In an attempt to provide critical and crucial testimonies that surround … Steven Avery.”

Hmm. One has to wonder if controversial former Wisconsin DA Ken Kratz—who refused to participate in Making a Murderer—will agree to sit for Investigation Discovery’s cameras. Front Page: The Steven Avery Story is currently in production and will air sometime later this month.

Top image: Steven Avery looks over his shoulder in a Manitowoc County courtroom during his initial appearance Tuesday, Nov. 15, 2005, in Manitowoc, Wis. (AP Photo/Tim Swoboda, Pool)

It takes a whole team of painters, an orchestra of machines and paint spray, what seems like miles of tape and paper, and oh so much work (not to mention the planning process) in order to paint an entire plane. Southwest Airlines shows some of its detailed plane paintings in the videos below (the Missouri One and Colorado One) along with their more basic painting efforts.

The plane in the GIF above was painted in 10 days, you can see every step of the process. There are so many layers of colors it’s crazy.

SPLOID is delicious brain candy. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

As the headline states, this article will ruin one of the major spoilers in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. But what you didn’t realize is, the ending was already ruined back in 2010, two years before the movie was even announced

That’s when the below video was released for Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2—Battle of Endor showing the murder of, you guessed it, Han Solo.

We posted it at that time—but then Birth Movies Death pointed it out this week. Note the site’s choice of still image, which is eerily close to what actually happens to Solo in The Force Awakens.

It’s creepy how that worked out, isn’t it?

H/T BMoviesD

Contact the author at germain@io9.com.

We knew Game of Thrones was coming back in April, but we didn’t know exactly when. Now we do. HBO has announced that the premiere date is April 24, which unfortunately means we’ll have to wait until the end of the month to find out what happens in season 6.

The news was announced at the TCA conference in California. What wasn’t announced is if we’ll find out the fate of Jon Snow on the premiere, or later.

Veep and Silicon Valley will also return on that date.

Set your calendar alerts now.

[Variety]

Contact the author at germain@io9.com.