My second and final full day at my very first Toy Fair 2016 in New York City has come and gone, and already I miss it terribly. Nothing flipping through photos of Nerf guns, Pokemon plushies, Final Fantasy figures, Monster High dolls, Transformers, Marvel heroes and more can’t fix.
I’ve been dreaming of this weekend since back in the late ‘90s, early ‘00s, when we’d scour newsgroups or stay glued to sites like the once-great Raving Toy Maniac for the latest on upcoming action figures and accessories.
Now that I’ve been to the annual parade of play, I can see how short-sighted I was back then. This isn’t just a place for action figures or dolls. It’s for science kits and card games and puppets and dress-up costumes. It’s for strange goopy substances you want to squeeze between your fists forever. It’s about play, and play is so much more than putting a pretty thing on your desk.
That said, here are a ton of pretty things to put on your desk in the future.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.There’s just something about a Nerf gun with a rotating saw blade. Something Gears of Warsy.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.How about a Nerf gun with a modular 720p action cam attachment?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Or all of the attachments. All of them.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.This picture is here to remind me how much money I am going to be spending on my wife when i get home.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Cutest Monopoly game ever?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Cutest Clue game ever? Well, coolest.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.This right here is just brilliance.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Pie Face has certainly taken off. If people wanted whip cream randomly in their faces they should have told me.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I could make this work.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I was like “Can you demo this for me?” and she was like “Watch this shit.” She did not say that, but she was probably thinking it.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Star Wars Bladebuilders, now with the spinning Inquisitor mechanism from Star Wars Rebels. Yeeeees.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.So glad to see Nico getting some Marvel action figure love. Now where’s Squirrel Girl?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.No, that’s Silk. The one who did Peter Parker a lot.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.No, that’s Captain America with awesome shield tossing special effect.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Closer? There could be squirrels inside those flames?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Distracted by translucent purple I temporarily forget about what’s her face.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Is it just me, or is Spidey’s Peter Parker head looking approvingly at his own crotch?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Just Deadpool, doing his Deadpool thing.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Here Kitty Kitty Kitty.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Did I mention I love translucent figures, Iceman?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Spider-Gwen, Spider-Gwen, does whatever a Spider ken.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Apologies to Hasbro for completely forgetting the name of these Yo-Yo toys. Anything that gets kids to Yo-Yo is okay in my book.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.It was about here where the intense heat in the Hasbro showroom started to kill me. But who cares, that’s FORTRESS MAXIMUS.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.This is the hall of (robots that transform into) heads.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.So many different little head robots Skullcruncher doesn’t know where to start. Moments later he explodes.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Coronation? This is bad caption writing, Starscream!Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.“OM MY GOD HE IS SO AWESOME!” I squealed upon seeing the new Fortress Maximus in person.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.“Not you,” I quickly added to the security guard behind the robot. “I’m sure you’re nice, but you’re not a giant robot.”Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Children have no idea what this is. It’s called a photograph. Blaster is in it.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.The coolest thing to come out of the Robots in Disguise line. He’s basically Awesome As Hell Optimus Prime.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Why does Play-Doh always look so delicious?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I stopped at Tomy to OH MY GOD SHE’S SO CUTE!Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.It’s 12 months of Pokemon for the series’ 20th anniversary. This means ALL THE PLUSHIES.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I have to procure them all. Only then shall I reach the pinnacle.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.This guy knows Patrick. I included him in the pictures because of this.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I was really excited to see the 25th Anniversary Sonic the Hedgehog toys. Then I saw them, and the Sonic cycle began anew.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Don’t try to cheer me up, big-headed Sonic.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Only Officer Judy Hops can cheer me up. I might have stolen this one. With permission.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I have no idea what these are, but they are beautiful.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.And if I die today I’ll be some happy atoms. If you get that reference, great! If not, all praise science.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.More metal sheet building toys from the folks at Fascinations.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.See the jets taking off from the tiny flight deck?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.The entire thing is only like six or seven inches long. Looking at it made Luke’s fingers bleed.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.We’re getting into doll territory. These little Monster High minis are going to be all over my house when they come out.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.My wife has already assured me there is no escape.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.DC Superhero Girls Harley Quinn is pretty much the best thing ever.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.This is Floof, a material that makes you want to squeeze it in your fists until you die. That’s the best way to explain it.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Hedgehogs from Douglas Cuddle Toys. I want to fill our house with these. All the way.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Never get this close to Ty merchandise. There is no escape.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I do not know what these are, but they should be in my life.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Dark Horse is also doing Halo ships. This is that really f***ing annoying one.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Mega Bloks not only grabbed the TMNT building license from LEGO, they’re KILLING it.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Fran from Final Fantasy XII makes me want to go back and finish Final Fantasy XII.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I blame the fear of sending my wife crappy pictures on why I’m so good at taking pictures of Monster High dolls.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.My leash, it is short and spiked.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.It’s almost uncanny.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Speaking of mildly uncanny, here are the new Barbie dolls we can relate to. Well, “we”,Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.The only problem with these new diverse dolls is that no matter the funky haircut...Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view....ethnicity...Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view....complexion...Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view....or height, they are all still quite pretty. Who can ugly people relate to?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.You are not helping, Fran.
